3ACV16: A Leela of Her Own
Leela: Oh, put down the binoculars, Fry. The wall of that strip club isn't going to collapse twice in one day.
Fry: Leela, you beaned a run in. You better let me pitch.
Leela: But, I've got a no-hitter going. [sighs] You're right, here. [throws ball to Fry, who gets hit in the face]
Leela: As a pitcher, I serve plenty of bean balls, so I know good beans when I see them. Bean Bay Beans, they're the beaniest.
Bender: You're the best, babe! [cellphone rings] Hang on, call coming in. [to cellphone] What's that? Hey, you put a one and two zeroes in front of that, or we pass. Deal!
Leela: So, what did you get me?
Bender: A thousand-and-one Pesos.
Leela: Yo soy muy malo en lanzar, pero yo soy muy bueno en comer frijoles. Come los Big Ben frijoles, los frijoles de los reyes. ("I'm very bad at pitching the ball, but I'm very good at eating beans. Eat Bean Bay Beans, the beans of the kings." [not only is her Spanish bad, but when she uses the words "bad" and "good" in Spanish, she uses them as if she was a man - uses the wrong gender with those words])
Director: Cut! OK, now do one with the bean suit on.
Autograph Hunter: When I grow up, I wanna injure men by throwing stuff at them, just like you, Leela. Will you sign my magazine?
Leela: Ahh, sure thing, sweety. Who should I make it out to?
Autograph Hunter: Well, errr... to eBay.
Leela: That's a popular name today. Little E, big B?
Leela: Ah, here we are, "The Worst Player in History". If I can be just a little better than him, I can slink away with my head held high.
Leela: Look, I don't wanna be in this exhibit, that's why I need your help, so I can be one tiny iota less pathetic than you.
Hank Aaron XXIV: Oh, I can't help you play better than Tiny Iota, that guy was great. But, I'll teach you everything I know.
Hank Aaron XXIV: OK, try it again, but keep your eye off the ball.
Leela: You mean, keep your eye on the ball.
Hank Aaron XXIV: Hey lady, which one of us is in the Hall of Fame.
Fry: Psst! You're holding the bat upside-down.
Leela: Come on, Skipper, it's my last chance to prove I'm not the worst player ever. Please, put me in!
Mets' Skipper: NO! We're actually winning this game! You only go on as a joke when we're eight runs behind or when our other pitchers sneak out early to beat the traffic.
Leela: Keep cool. She's just like any other player, she puts on her sports bra one arm at a time.
Umpire: Strike one!
[crowd exclaim in surprise]
Leela: Huh! Strike one, a personal best!