3ACV12: The Route of All Evil
Leela: Hey, hey, hey! We can all fight when we're drunk. Now listen, why don't we just brew our own beer?
Bender: You can brew your own beer?
Leela: Sure. The kids at the Orphanarium used to do it all the time.
[Bender's head flies off, revealing a spring]
Dwight: I heard alcohol made you stupid.
Fry: No I'm doesn't.
Leela: Actually, Dwight, you're right, alcohol is very, very bad... for children. But once you turn twenty-one, it becomes very, very good. So scram!
[Dwight and Cubert leave complaining]
[Cubert and Dwight are playing a hand-held computer game, when Leela approaches, grabs the game and crushes it in her hand, causing protestations]
Leela: If you were my kids, you'd get quick a talking to... from your father... when he got home from the Senate.
The Real World introducer [on TV]: This week on The Real World: the Sun.
Man on Sun [on TV]: [screams] I'm burning to death!
Leela: [sighs] You know how much an apartment that big would cost on the Sun?
Leela: Uh, guys, I don't know how to tell you this, so I'll just let Fry blurt it out thoughtlessly.
Fry: We don't work for you anymore!
[Hermes and Farnsworth exclaim in shock]
Leela: Dwight and Cubert made us a better offer. We're paperboys now.
Cubert: Incoming. We got papers to stuff, team. Hup, two! Hup, two!
Fry: Yes, sir.
Bender: Right away.
Leela: We're on it, Mr Farnsworth.
Cubert: Hey, Leela. Help me apply these flame details I got in my cereal. They make the ship go faster.
Leela: And what's your scientific basis for thinking that?
Cubert: I'm twelve.
Leela: Hello? Awesome Express, the rude, crude, delivery dudes! How may I direct your call? What's that? You haven't gotten your paper. In how long!
[many phones ring, while Dwight and Cubert squirm]