Cubert's Rants

War is the H-word

Do The Time Warp!: How is it that the 7-11 store is open 28 hours a day? Even the Professor cannot make a working time machine to do that!

Solution by Trevin Bernhard: in Crimes Of The Hot, they move the Earth away from the sun and make the year longer which in turn would make the days longer.

Cubert's rebuttal: That didn't happen until 2 year later, and the year was only made a week longer, or about 27 minutes per day.

Yes Sir!: Since when did anyone get a military discount!? As if corporations would be charitable enough to even consider doing it!

Solution by Trevin Bernhard: Maybe it was a new way to get people to join the military. It worked on Fry and Bender.

Where's Your Uniform Soldier!?: Why doesn't Bender have to wear a military uniform?

Solution by Trevin Bernhard: He's a robot.

This Is All Meshed Up!: Zapp claims that some of the soldiers would be forced through a fine mesh screen, but nowhere in the entire episode does this happen, and not even a single fine mesh screen is sighted!

It's Not Safe, Sir!: What is the President doing on the Nimbus as it heads into battle, as it is far too dangerous for him to be on!

Slackers!: When all the troops are doing the obstacle course, why is it that Fry & Bender are permitted to sit by and watch?

Solution by Trevin Bernhard: I guess Zap was too lazy to make them do the work.

Fast Enlistment!: How is it that Leela got a disguise to look like a man, enlisted in the army, and got onto the Nimbus, when she only decided to enlist seconds before the Nimbus took off!? Not to mention where did she get a purple beard?

Solution by Trevin Bernhard: She knocked out a recruit and stole his uniform and cut some of her own hair to make the beard.

Charge!: What moron made the guns so they had to be charged by hand!? Also, the law of conservation of energy also makes it impossible for a gun which relies on a few seconds of hand-charging to do as much damage as they do. Not to mention why is it that when everyone else is charging their guns, it takes a long time, while Fry only takes about two seconds?

Back From The Dead!: How did the hick soldier survive Zoidberg's surgery, when he was clearly killed. Not only did he survive, but only seconds later he was up and talking!

Solution by Trevin Bernhard: Zoidberg isn't the best doctor and probably couldn't tell the difference between a live and dead human.

We're Under Attack!: Why is it that when Bender and Zapp are talking in the mess, lasers can be seen shooting at the camp. However, the balls don't seem to have any lasers, instead relying on bouncing, and why would the Earth army shoot at itself?

Solution by Trevin Bernhard: With a man like Zapp in charge, mistakes that bad are probably all too common.

Weirdo!: Didn't anyone find it at all odd when Leela took a shower while wearing a hat and goggles?

Living Dangerous: Why did Zapp activate the bomb before he had evacuated the planet? He had no way of knowing when Bender would have said "ass"!

Solution by Trevin Bernhard: Zapp's an idiot, of course he would do that.

Bender's Secret?: Since when has Bender ever used the word "Pimpmobile" (except once during the negotiations) or "Daffodil"?

Solution by Frosty: He's said it a bunch of times...just not when we were watching.

Lucky Git!: How does Bender survive the bomb's explosion at the end of the episode, when it is supposed to be strong enough to blow up the world. Also, how does the world and the Planet Express crew survive to come back for future episodes?

Solution by Seymour_My_Hero: How can anyone trust Zapp to arm a bomb to destroy a planet? He barely knows what planet he's on, as long as he's winning. New!