Cubert's Rants

How Hermes Requisitioned His Groove Back

Super Shredder: After Hermes staples together the massive pile of paper, he immediately puts it through the shredder. How does he do this without the metal staple totally ruining the shredder? Are they trying to make high-iron recycled paper from it or something?

Solution by Danny McHugh: All shredders in the future are made with tungsten-carbide teeth, necessary for shredding massive piles of paper. The tiny staple would be nothing compared to the hundreds of sheets already being shredded.

Nice Badge!: Why is Hermes now wearing a badge to indicate his level of 36? This has never been seen in another episode, so why is he wearing it now?

Solution by Danny McHugh: All bureaucrats are required to wear their badges.

Aiding and Abetting: Given that Leela is inviting people from her old job over to play poker, don't they have anything to say about the fact that they know she and Fry are job-deserters, and therefore criminals? After all, that's their job to prevent it and "you gotta do what you gotta do".

Solution by Kyle Williams: Two reasons: (1) they, like most people on Futurama, just don't care; and/or (2) Fry and Leela have jobs

Ultra-fertilizer: How can Leela grow an entire fruit plant in a matter of seconds from some water and a tiny pile of dust? It's simply impossible, there's no way there is enough substance in just that tiny amount of dirt and water to create as large a plant as she does.

Solution by Red_Line: Nothing is impossible, not if you can imagine it.

Chameleonic Uniforms?: When they arrive, Leela's friends from her old job are all wearing their work uniforms, and aren't carrying anything. Then a moment later, they're wearing casual clothes. So unless they have a stash of their clothes lying around Planet Express, something is very wrong.

Solution by Danny McHugh: in order to save time in the morning all of her friends wear their casual clothes underneath their work clothes.

Solution by Bosda: remember the Time Travel episode? When Fry used a can of spray on clothing to make a unifom? Or Amy's spray on bikini from The Deep South? Same thing. They just keep a couple of cans around, for guests. New!

Dumb Wife: Leela's old boss says he met his horrible wife through his work, then says his wife doesn't know he has a job! Given everyone does the same job their whole life in the future, how does that work!?

Solution by Danny McHugh: She's really drunk.

X-Ray?: How did Bender read the other player's cards with X-Ray glasses? He'd look straight through them! Not to mention, why does he see the blood flowing through the other player's bodies, you can't see that on an X-Ray!

Solution by Danny McHugh: You assume that today's methods of examining X-rays will still be used in the future. Clearly Bender has very powerful optics easliy allowing him to tune his X-ray vision to view through just enough of the card.

I See a Sign!: How does the Planet Express door sign say "Closed", "Opening Soon" and "Open" on just two sides?

Solution by Danny McHugh: It's a digital sign programmed to show those messages.

Leaning Tower of Hermes: How is it that there is a huge pile of documents leaning on Hermes' office door which fall out when it opens? Wouldn't anything that was going to fall out have done so before the door was previously closed?

Solution by Danny McHugh: He closed the door while holding the stack up when he last left. It fell when the door was opened because he forgot how massic the pile was.

Rebuttal by Red_Line: That's rediculous, Hermes was expeting to get inspected - his office was neat and tidy. More likely the pile was disturbed by the rumpus that went on the night before when the poker players were beating up Bender and it had partially collapsed after they'd left.

Wuss!: So how DID Bender, a metal robot with a history in the robot fighting league, get beaten up by two geeks and a boss from a cryogenic business?

Solution by Kyle Williams: The robot fighting league was faked, remember.

Telepathy Proven!: How did La Barbra know Hermes was going to jump off the roof? There's no reason to believe anyone called her, and even if she had, how did she get there so fast!?

Solution by Trevin Bernhard: When being inspected Hermes says “Don't worry, I have a plan.” and fast forwards to him on the railing. Who knows how much time passed or what happened during that time?

Invisible Workers?: Why are there so many lockers in the locker room at Planet Express? There's far more there than needed for the workers. That's just inefficient, no wonder Hermes was only level 36.

Solution by Danny McHugh: Quantity discount on the lockers and the expectation of future expantion. They did hire two more staff members, Brannigan and Kroker, at one point.

Solution by Bosda: the other lockers are for the Professor's previous Planet Express Ship's crews. Noooobody has eeeever opened them, since...you know...Oh those poor sons of-- But that's not important. The important thing is the Professor needed a new crew. And we will never mention the other lockers again. New!

Uh... How?: How is Bender supposed to be "coordinating the professor's bodily functions", that just doesn't make sense!

Going Casual: Why is Morgan wearing her uniform when she shows up at Fry's apartment in the middle of the night? Doesn't she take that thing off? Not to mention, she appears to leave her clothes there when she runs out later on, so how is she wearing the exact same clothes the next day?

Solution by Danny McHugh: Who has ever only had 1 uniform for work? I have like five. And no, she doens't take it off after hours; she's a bureaucrat, not a fashonista.

Going Retro: How does Morgan download Bender onto a 3.5" floppy disk, especially given he has never had any visible slot there before? Indeed, why are they still using 20th century technology that far in the future, especially giving all computers were presumably destroyed in the alien attacks we saw while Fry was frozen.

Solution by Danny McHugh: The attacks were only on part of NYC and when the professor was building the original bending units he made sure that they had floppy drives because of the proven reliability of floppy disks.

Comment by Red_Line: Looked more like a Zip(tm) disk to me.

Hanging by a Thread: Why is there heavy mining machinery hanging around Spa 5, waiting to be dropped into mining carts the moment Hermes suggests it? Were they trying to decorate with a "heavy mining" style or something?

Solution by Red_Line: No, Spa 5 was slave labor camp for a mine and the "Spa" was merely a front. Large industrial concerns like that always have equipment coming and going.

The Long Wait: If the old man at the back of the Central Bureaucracy is still waiting on his birth certificate, how is it nobody has joined the queue behind him in all that time? Also, why are the people in front of him so young, shouldn't they have been waiting even longer?

Solution by Danny McHugh: Maybe he misplaced his original and was required to present it to get his Social Security.

Solution by Trevin Bernhard: Maybe he was so young when he waited in line that the people in front of him are decendants of the people in front of him (hence the part where some1 has a baby) and they're probably staying in line to make sure their ancestors didn't die in vain.

Have You No Modesty?: Why is it that the queue moves back to the Central Bureaucracy when "someone had a baby"? You'd think you would leave a queue to give birth, and don't get me started about conception....

Solution by Danny McHugh: She'd already waited the entire pregnancy, why would she give up her spot now?

Dungeon of Bureaucracy: Why is the way to Central Filing a dungeon with a large closing metal gate? That's hardly a friendly workplace!

Solution by Danny McHugh: Are any of the bureaucrats friendy?

How'd You Get Here?: How did Hermes get from Spa 5 to the Central Bureaucracy? Not to mention, even if he could, how did he know he needed to be there!?

Beat It: Why does 1.0 have the music set up to play on his desk, especially the jamaican-style song Hermes sorts to?

Solution by Trevin Bernhard: Maybe he has a huge list of different songs prepared for every situation and scenario.

Anti-Grav Filing: How does Hermes make the chain of message tubes in mid-air without any of them falling down? That's just impossible!

Solution by Danny McHugh: Strings man.

Incompetence!: Hermes hits Leela in the eye with a message tube, there's no way that's how it was supposed to be filed, so why didn't he fail his required task?

Solution by Trevin Bernhard: She put it in for him.

Regulation Prom Date?: Why did Morgan have to put in a form for her prom date when in high school? She wouldn't have even been a bureaucrat back then!

Solution by Danny McHugh: Jobs for life, remember? Assigned at birth, just like in Brave New World.