Cubert's Rants

A Clone Of My Own

Hitler's Brain!?: How could you save Hitler's brain? It is already certainly horribly decayed, and certainly couldn't be saved by people in the year 3000.

Solution by Bosda: Who says it hasn't been saved---ALREADY?!? BWA-HA-HA-Ha-HAAA!New!

Liar!: Why wouldn't the university know Professor Farnsworth's age? Wouldn't it be a bit obvious when the records would show he went to university about 140 years ago, when he claims he is only 150? Also, in the video, Leela says that he was born on the 9th of April in 2851, but wouldn't she have been able to find out the truth in her research?

Solution by Bosda: The Professor lied about his age due to vanity. And what kind of a Mad Scientist could he be if he can't hack a computer or two? New!

Black&White?: Why is the video footage of The Professor's home black and white? It is certainly fairly recent (as there are rockets in the background), and it would definitely be kept as colour footage.

Solution by Bosda: All videotapes were damaged during the Second Coming of Jesus, remember? Those tapes degraded to B&W. New!

Moonlighting?: How did the Professor have time to design fast cars, trendy nightspots and beautiful women out of his one-room apartment, when he was supposed to be a teacher at the university instead? (just look at the video of him when Wernstrom got his marks back, The Professor seemed to be about the same age as he was in the video).

Solution by Bosda: Sabbatical, & a research grant. New!

Fast Learner: I'm not quite sure, but how did I learn English and advanced science while in the tube, when I almost certainly had no contact with people or education. Must simply be my genius.

Solution by Bosda: That, & the wires hooked to the back of your noodle, where they wouldn't show. Direct neural input to your cerebral cortex. New!

Good Shot!: Why did Leela miss when she tried to hit me? She seemed perfectly good at hitting people in other episodes.

Solution by Bosda: Restraint. Annhiliting you would be entertaining, but the Professor would fire her fanny so fast you couldn't track it on radar. New!

200%?: Just as I said, it is especially impossible for the ship's afterburners to have 200% efficiency, as it is a key law of science that total energy in the universe is constant. Even if the energy somehow came from somewhere else, that wouldn't mean they have 200% efficiency. To do that, energy would have to appear from nowhere!

Solution by Bosda: What's that you say, Cubert? You wish to be beaten? With a heavy, jagged object? Well, never let it be said that I'm not obliging. New!

NTSC or PAL?: It is clear in one shot that the Professor's message is left on a TV-style video (as the shot is of what the camera sees), but it isn't the same as when the crew look at it later on, where it is in a Star-Wars like hologram. The video isn't even wide-screen as the TVs are in the year 3000. Also, why does Bender record his soap operas on a video camera tape, rather than a VCR tape?

What Was I Thinking!?: It must have just been a small mental block when I said that the smelloscope can't work, as there are a number of conceivable methods for it working, as it doesn't actually have to collect smell particles, but could scan them and recreate them from a distance.

This Stinks!: How does Leela know what "letters to the editor" smell like!? Also, how could the Near-Death Star smell like them, when everyone is hooked up to machines and unconcious, and so couldn't write letters to the editor anyway?

Solution by Bosda: Don't make fun of Leela's nose! She gets violent. New!

Free Samples!: When the robots said they only needed one cell of The Professor's DNA, why did they use an eye-dropper to put it into the machine? An eye dropper would be useless when there is only one cell!

Solution by Bosda: The Army rule applies: take all that you want, but use everything you take. New!

Power Walking: How did the crew get to The Professor's building without a vehicle? (you can see them standing on the street when they arrive) It can clearly be seen during the chase that it would be impossible.

Solution by Bosda: So? They used a vehicle. There's more than one in the Universe. New!

What a Load!: It must have just been a knock from the head when I said all that gibberish about how everything is possible and that the ship moved the universe instead of moving itself. Every movement involves moving the entire universe, it all depends on your point of view. Not to mention that Newton's third law clearly shows not only does every movement move the universe (or at least other objects), but that moving the universe would have to place incredible force on the ship as well.

Solution by Bosda: What's that you say, Cubert? You wish to be beaten? With a heavy, jagged object? Well, never let it be said that I'm not obliging. New!

Snap! Crackle! Pop!: Why is it that The Professor is still able to walk and stand without any trouble after he has broken one of his ankles?

Solution by Bosda: Lack Of Feeling In The Feet Syndrome. Or LOFINTFS. If you give it a name & an acronym, you can write a thesis paper on it. New!