Cubert's Rants

A Bicyclops Built for Two

I'm Online!: If the Professor has been attempting to connect to AOL for several years, how did he use the phone line (such as in "I, Roommate")? He could have had a second line, but then why did he say he needed them off so he could use the phone later on?

Solution by Bosda: He had a second line--he's just senile. Oh my!

Testing, Testing: Why did the Professor need to make the net suits, as there seem to be a lot of other people on the net, who presumably have them too?

Solution by Bosda: Who do you think invented the darn things?

The Ads are Coming!: Why do all the ads have "no" buttons? Not to mention not one involves punching a monkey or some other stupid rigged "contest"!

Solution by Bosda: Both buttons do the exact same thing. That is, download a virus into your system. And monkeys are expenxive! Go away! Don't bother me! OOOHH! I'll be in the Angry Dome!

Sardine on Mackerel?: How do they have "Sardine on Mackerel Action" on the net, when sardines have been extinct for centuries? (or did they just stick a sardine's head on someone else's body?)

Solution by kryten's revenge: Anchovies are extinct, not sardines.

Video Game?: The game isn't on video, so why does Hermes say it is?

Solution by Kyle Williams: Hermes is just trying to show off and impress Fry with everything the future has, he knows that "video" games are not really on video, he just hopes Fry does not know that.

Shotgun?: Why does Fry use a shotgun-like weapon (but with no spray) in the game, when extra strength is unnecessary, as one hit is an instant kill.

Solution by Trevin Bernhard: You get bonus points if you kill them that way. New!

Dancing Fry?: Why is Fry dancing in reality just as in the game, as there is no way that he could move as in the game, for then how did he put his arm through himself, and do other impossible things while in the game?

Solution by Trevin Bernhard: They're glitches. When fry put his arm through him, he was just touching his chest and for some of the more complaex motion, they are thought activated otherwise they would have been triping and falling through the lab. New!

It's a Set-Up!: How did Alkazar have a complete castle set up to fool Leela, with one-eyed statues and everything? He couldn't have had more than a day to do it.

Solution by Bosda: He hired Illegal Alien Aliens from the Homeworld Depot to build it for him.

Something Fishy: How did Bender keep fish tanks in his chest? They'd just spill everywhere! Also, how did he swallow the sword, wouldn't it go straight into his fuel cells, as the only thing he's meant to swallow is alcohol!

Solution by Bosda: Bender's innards are gyrostabilized, so the tanks stayed upright.. And he put the sword down his exhaust vent. That's where the belches come from, & anyway, if the Death Star has an exhaust vent, Bender should have...at least two!

Pool Cleaner?: If the mole missiles had been strong enough to kill everyone on the planet, simply being underwater in a pool for a little while wouldn't protect Alkazar (though admittedly it was just a lie).

Solution by Kyle Williams: If it was just a lie, why are you asking?

Solution by Trevin Bernhard: Yes, we all know it was a lie, but the missiles might have been some sort of napalm (fire bomb) and even then, cyclopia could have been just one city on the entire planet. Also, if the pool is far enough away from ground zero (where the bomb hits) it is possible to survive. New!

An Age-Old Problem: Alkazar doesn't seem to have aged in the 25+ years since the cyclops planet was supposedly destroyed.

Solution by Kyle Williams: I think the discrepancy was on purpose. The flashback's problems should have shown people that Alkazar was a fake.

The Future of the Race: How could just Leela & Alkazar repopulate the cyclops race? Wouldn't their decendants become horrible inbred freaks?

Solution by Bosda: They each got one eyed in the middle of their foreheads, purple hair, & elbow spurs. How much worse could it get?

Slap?: How did Fry make a "slap" noise when he slapped Bender, and Bender flinched? Bender is a 500 pound piece of titanium and zinc!

Solution by Bosda: Fry slapped the seat of his pants, with the other hand, to make the noise. And Bender is programmed to respond to cliches.

Five Identical Castles?: Wouldn't the ship crew have noticed the other four castles when they came in to land at first. After all, they only knew what planet Alkazar was on, not where on that planet.

Solution by Trevin Bernhard: They thought the castles were part of the city and didn't know they were supposed to be different. New!

Four-Arm Fry: Everyone knows about this one, but just in case you didn't, Fry mysteriously has four arms in the shot when Alkazar reveals his true form.

Solution by Trevin Bernhard: You know the tux that Alkazar had that changed shape? Fry had bought clothes from the same store and it malfunctioned for a bit. New!