Cubert's Rants

Raging Bender

Get a New Travel Agent!: Why do they schedule flights through the brain slug planet, when it simply leads to the passengers being assimilated by brain slugs?

Solution by Trevin Bernhard: The brain slugs got the people in charge of the flights so that they could send more people to get assimilated there.

Solution by Bosda: Why do airlines overbook planes in the 20th Century, on a routine basis? Because the airlines, like the spacelines, are run by brain slugs. Or spine slugs. Or some kind of slugs, anyway. New!

False Advertising!: Why is it that none of the films on the theatre's marquee seem to be inside?

Solution by Trevin Bernhard: When you get into the theatre, you vote on what movie you want to see, like when they voted on what Calculon should do next.

Cubert's rebuttal: As you probably already don't know, they decided on what movie to watch while still outside the theater. Are you suggesting that in the future we'll pay to see a movie that might not be the one we wanted to see? I think not.

Solution by Bosda: You mean how we pay to board airlines, get told we are "bumped", & have to sleep in the terminal, cause there are no hotel rooms? We paid for THAT, too. New!

Old Technology: Why do the people in 3000 still have 2D movie screens, especially with black&white news reels?

Solution by Trevin Bernhard: They do have futuristic theatres, they just keep the old ones because they are a lot cheaper for people.

Imposter!: The supposed new "Miss Universe" looks nothing like the one crowned in the previous episode "The Lesser of Two Evils".

Solution by Bosda: he old one was disqualified. Steroid abuse. New!

Naughty, Naughty!: If aliens from M-14 are not to watch the "All My Circuits" movie, then why does the cinema allow them in?

Solution by Trevin Bernhard: As mentioned earlier, they vote on what movie they want to see. So they were let in, but then left when they saw that the movie playing wasb't good for them.

Cubert's rebuttal: As already debunked earlier, theaters don't operate that way. Your explanations are pure weapons-grade bolog-nium.

Solution by Bosda: and you are a vile little creature, and God hates you, Cubert. We've been over that ground before, too! New!

What Genre is This?: If "All My Circuits" is a soap opera, why is its movie an action movie?

Solution by Trevin Bernhard: Some parts of the show have action. They also want a movie that everyone will enjoy so they don't want the movie to be all emotion.

Solution by Bosda: Ah, they had some leftover footage from an action film. The action film did so well last year, the producers thought it would be just spiffy to graft it on to the plot. New!

Cheater!: Why would the voting machine cheat by changing Fry's vote? Also, why would the writers even make a paperwork option?

Solution by Trevin Bernhard: It didn't cheat, it was broken. Also, some of the people like to see paperwork if there was enough people to make Fry the deciding vote.

Nasty Paperwork!: Why is it that when the view changes while Bender and the Masked Unit are arguing, that the action on the screen inexplicably changes completely, and all the sound suddenly disappears? Also, why does the movie suddenly stop when the fight breaks out?

Solution by Trevin Bernhard: When there is a major disturbance, the theatre stops playing until whatever's happening stops so that no one misses the movie.

Discrimination!: Isn't it illegal for Fnog to discriminate against Leela for being a woman? Though it is possible that he just doesn't care.

Solution by Trevin Bernhard: If it's his dojo he makes the rules. His species might be one that puts men above women.

Can't Reach?: Why can't Bender reach his toes? His arms extend to metres!

Solution by Trevin Bernhard: He knew that it wouldn't count so he tried to do it normally.

Brain Slugs R Us: Where did Hermes get another brain slug from?

Solution by Trevin Bernhard: It grew off the first one.

Solution by Bosda: Brain Slug Of The Month Club™ New!

Drilled Him!: How did The Clearcutter drill a hole through Bender's head? He didn't even have a drill!

Solution by Trevin Bernhard: In the media today, you see wrestlers using chairs given to them to beat up their oppenent. Maybe someone gave him one. Or his chainsaw can change into a drill.

No Inertia?: How can Bender simply stop The Clearcutter in mid-air with his leg? The Clearcutter must weigh tonnes, and has more than enough mass to knock over Bender!

Solution by Trevin Bernhard: The fight was rigged, so the Clearcutter stopped himself to make bender look good.

It's a Miracle!: How did The Clearcutter reassemble after exploding?

Solution by Trevin Bernhard: He had his memory and stuff donloaded into a robot exactly like him before the fight.

Hidden Pockets?: Where did Bender keep the cigar he smoked after beating

Solution by Trevin Bernhard: His mouth can also serve as an ash tray so he kept it there.

The Chain-Smoker?: He didn't seem to keep it in his chest.

Nice Ad!: It seems that Bender went straight from the URFL headquarters back to the Planet Express building, so how did he have time to make his new ad as the Gender Bender?

Solution by Trevin Bernhard: They planned his downfall from the first time he fought. Maybe they paid Flexo to do it.

Solution by Bosda: Computer Animation. And, as Bender is a rather animated computer, nobody could tell the difference. New!

Knock It Off!: If a brain slug can simply be knocked off as Bender did, then why didn't someone simply remove Hermes' brain slug earlier?

Solution by Trevin Bernhard: The slug kept him from giving those boring buisness meetings so they left it on to keep him quiet.

Solution by Bosda: with their BARE HANDS?! NO THANKS! Brain Slugs are best handled with metal tongs, or grippers. Bender's mechanical hands are essentially metal grippers, & he joined a Tong the last time the Planet Express employees went out for Chinese food, so he's overqualified to remove Brain Slugs. New!

I Lie About My Weight: Since when did Bender weigh 525 pounds?

Solution by Trevin Bernhard: When does it say he didn't? They probably made him adjust his wieght to meet the fighting standards.

Out of Control: If Destructor is completely controlled by Fnog, then how did he move during his introduction, when Fnog was still in the ring, and not in control?

Solution by Trevin Bernhard: It can move on its own OR be under remote control. It was desinged for war even though it is shown no one uses it now that it's a war crime so it would make sense that it would have two settings.

I Missed!: When Fnog puches horizontally at Leela, why does Destructor punch downwards?

Flatbot: Why does Bender still work after being flattened?

Solution by Trevin Bernhard: Top of the line materials. All he did was talk anyway, so it doesn't mean he isn't hurt, he's just not completely broken.

Roll up! Roll up!: If Bender weighs 525 pounds, and is made of titanium and zinc, how can Fry and Leela simply roll him up and carry him off?

Solution by Trevin Bernhard: Leela is pretty strong and since he was flattened, his weight was spread out making him easier to carry.