Cubert's Rants

A Fishful of Dollars

Closet Robots: Why are the robots playing cards through the wall from Fry? Don't they feel silly playing cards in a closet?

Solution by Kyle Williams: It might not be a closet, they could just have a larger apartment.

Solution by Bosda: Illegal gambling. New!

Stork times Pyramid: I REALLY doubt that algebra existed in ancient Egypt.

Solution by mtvcdm - Actually, a guy from ancient Egypt INVENTED algebra. Saw it in my math book during 5th hour. Really long name. Yet one more reason to go back in time: Kill that guy.

Solution by Trevin Bernhard: Even so, it was only a dream.

Brain ads?: Gamma rays would cause severe cancer, and most certainly could not be used for transmitting ads. Also, it simply wouldn't work anyway, seeing as thoughts are transmitted through the use of electrical and chemical impulses.

Demo Pair?: I also REALLY doubt there would be a demo pair of Lightspeed Briefs, not to mention that the really disgusting demo pair suddenly turns into a nice clean pair in the change room.

Solution by Bosda: The store gives you, at no additional charge, a free bottle of antiseptic with every single pair of Lightspeed Briefs. sold! Sold at 10 times the usual price, of course. And you get to KEEP the DEMO BRIEFS! Free! Ain't that just the beer & mashed potatoes, sonny? New!

Bad Credit: Even if American Express or Visa existed, Fry's cards would certainly be expired. Also, why would Discover card still exist when civilisation was destroyed and replaced by a medieval civilisation, certainly without credit cards.

Solution by Kyle Williams: All of civilisation was not destroyed, only the part that Bender and the Swedes fought over. While you are right about Discover, it is moot because Fry did not use it anyway.

The Big Apple: The Big Apple bank would also have certainly been destroyed with civilisation. Also, why would they still have an ATM card machine? Not to mention Fry's ATM card would have expired.

Solution by Kyle Williams: See Bad Credit above.

Nice Bank!: Firstly, 2.25% interest would certainly not be paid on a savings account, and also, given Fry's extremely low initial balance, fees should mean that Fry actually owed a lot of money! Also, the extreme increase in Fry's wealth would strongly suggest that all prices should have also risen by a similar amount, and $4.2 billion should not be too large an amount.

20th Century Apartments?: Given that civilisation was destroyed, why in the world would original 20th century apartments still be standing? Even if they were, shouldn't they be buried under the city with the rest of Old New York?

Solution by Leela+Fry: Who the frak said all of civilization was destroyed? Perhaps it was only a small part of New York. As for the buildings, they were probably recreated for tourism purposes.

Old TV?: How in the world would Fry watch anything on his old TV, when there would certainly be no programming on for it?

Solution by Trevin Bernhard: He played them on a VCR

Fry Wins?: Why didn't Mom just continue bidding against Fry, as she would certainly have beaten Fry eventually? It would certainly be safer than risking him using the anchovies.

Solution by Trevin Bernhard: When she gave up, it was probably a publicity stunt. She didn't want to look mean by beating him.

The Classics: How would music CDs from the 20th Century still work in the 31st century? I own newer CDs than that which already are unreliable. Not to mention his VCR tapes, which would certainly be hopelessly corrupted. Also, I thought all recordings were destroyed with the second coming of Jesus, as stated in "When Aliens Attack"?

Partial Solution by mtvcdm - Well, as I hear, a tape lasts 30 years, so you have a point- the tapes wouldn't come close to making it to the Second Coming anyway. But if they did, the Professor only said MOST, Not ALL. These tapes apparently beat the odds.

Solution by Bosda: Your newer CDs are corrupted because you are a vile little creature, & God hates you, Cubert. Fry's CDs were burned "on demand" in the 31st, from a specialty classical music service. And all records WERE destroyed--except those own by Jesus HIMSELF! He had a b*tchin collection, and gave “sharesies” copies to everybody. New!

Oww!: Leela says her ponytail is stuck in the door, but you can clearly see that when Fry shut the door, her ponytail wasn't even close to in the right position to get stuck.

Solution by Trevin Bernhard: It was probably just a little bit, just enough for her to notice, but then she just pulled it out and left.

Anchovy Oil?: Firstly, I am quite certain the oil in anchovies is added, and not naturally produced by them. Also, there is nothing special about the oil, and there is no reason it could not be sythesised normally, rather than through using the DNA.

Solution by Bosda: all fish produce fish oil. And the DNA approach allowed the use of orphans as a production source. But don't be too hard on Mom. She always insists that the orphans be let out of their containment tanks for Christmas. Or Xmas, as the case might be. (Shout out to Phil & Kaja Foglio, word.) New!

Back to the Future: I know Fry is really stupid, but there is no way he would be gullible enough to fall for Mom's plan.

Solution? by mtvcdm - Since I counted Fry did not notice 11 (!) screw-ups, he is the biggest idiot I've ever seen who is still able to walk erect. He's dumb enough for Walt to slip through the cracks.

Nice head!: Why does Pamela Anderson still look just like she did in 2000? Wouldn't she have certainly aged before her head was preserved?

Solution by Kyle Williams: She could have been cloned like Washington and Nixon mush have been

Solution by Bosda: Could she have had a little plastic surgey, do ya think do ya think? New!

The Oil!: Even though Fry and Zoidberg did eat all the anchovies, there would certainly be a lot of oil and DNA left in the tin, as you can see when Fry puts the anchovies on the pizza that a lot is still in the tin, and Zoidberg does not eat the tin.

Solution by Trevin Bernhard: Maybe he ate it afterwards

Solution by Bosda: Zoidberg later comes back & licks the can clean, like he does for all the garbage. But he does this secretly, or Hermes charges him for it. New!