It's A Wonderful Life
This story opens up as Fry and Bender are at a bar and talking.
Fry: Man it's been a while since I've thought about family and stuff. The only family I have is an old man whose about to die.
Bender: Hey dont get me started on family I don't even have any family unless you count being made of the same elements and compounds family.....Ahh to hell with family who needs them anyway.
Fry: That's easy for you to say, I had a life, not very fun or interesting, but it was mine. Of course sometimes I wonder maybe it was for the best, you know, maybe if I didn't freeze I would have died sooner or something terrible would have happened. Now that I think about it Bender you would be dead if it weren't for me.
Bender: What the Hell does that mean.
Fry: Remember when I first met you, you were at the suicide booth and about to kill yourself.
In Benders memory it shows back to when Fry met Bender, but before anyone could say another word the bartender interrupts them.
Bartender: Hey whose payin'.
Fry and Bender point to anonymous person and run out of the bar.
Bender: Gave him the old slip, ha noone has ever made me pay for beer and I intend to keep it that way.
Fry: But you paid for it yesterday.
Bender: Maybe so, but it was the bartender's wallet not mine.
Fry: Anyway do you remember when I first met you.
Bender: Yeah, so.
Fry: You planned to kill yourself, but if it weren't for me you'd be dead.
Bender: So my life still sucks.
Fry: But Bender you always brag about your life. Why do you say that.
Bender: Well one I'm drunk, and two you're a loser.
Fry: Gee thanks.
Bender: Lighten up I'm just jokin'.
Fry: Hey wait ,at least you get the ladies ,so how could your life suck.
Bender: Yeah, but you got feelings not that I want any.
Fry: Well still, even though I think the future is cooler than the past. I still miss my family. At least I have friends.
Bender: Laughs for a while. You were saying.
Fry: You know I think someone slipped me a roofy.
Bender: Oh, sorry.
Fry: What!You did! Oh great now how am I going to get home I already see double and how am I going to go to work.
Bender: I meant it for the Bartender so when he got knocked out I could steal all his beer. But when I left it was gone, but I figured he drank it. Life is hilariously cruel.
Fry: Maybe he did drink it and I'm still drunk from last night.
Bender:Or maybe you're an idiot.
Fry: You're probably right. I mean the only girl I really love I go to work with and I can't even tell her.
Bender: Hey all this serious talk is making me sleepy I think I'm gonna sleep some of this beer off.
Fry: Alright see ya I'm gonna go to work to ask the proffesor something.
Bender: Ok see ya meatbag.
Fry walks a few blocks thinking of how many times he could have said to Leela he loved her. But things never worked out. A few minutes later Fry sees Leela running up and down the streets screaming Fry. Fry thought he was dreaming or still drunk but sure enough Leela spotted him and ran to him. Fry not thinking of what to say says uh ....hi.
Leela: Fry where have you been I've been looking all over for you. Come to work quickly the Prof. is ill and possibly going to die. He needs to speak to you about something.
Fry: What! going to die I better tell Bender.
Leela: Why he'll just still all the prof. 's belongings.
Fry: Good point.
Fry and Leela run to P.E., even though Fry is almost in complete shock about the prof. he can't help, but stop and think about Leela's purple hair and her great body. They head into P.E. and see the prof. laying down next to the doctor.
Farnsworth: Fry!(cough)Fry where are you I need to speak with you
Fry: Here I am what is it.
Farnsworth:(in a weak voice) Fry as you know I'm not going to be with you much longer so I need to tell you some things.
Fry: I'm all ears.
Farnsworth: Everybody leave, I need to talk to Fry. (Everybody leaves.). Fry since your my only kin I need to ask you if you would do some things for me. First I want you to continue this company if I die. And second I want you to be President of P.E., I know this is hard for you to do , but you musn't leave P.E.
Fry: What if Hermes wants P.E.
Farnsworth: I already talked to him about it.
(Zoidberg busts in asking for a vacuum)
Farnsworth: Get out of here you dope. I'm talking a serious conversation here about (interrupted by Zoidberg)
Zoidberg: Spare Me your life story.(Then leaves.)
Farnsworth:You see Fry when you and the gang came along you changed everything for me, and when I found out you were my kin I said to myselft over and over you were the one to lead this company to the top when I'm gone. But I forgot about telling you this because I have short term memory. Will you do this for me?
Fry: (looking teary eyed at the dying professor said: of course I will). Just hold on, please don't die yet.
Farnsworth: Ok, Ok, I wont.(then the prof. dies.)
Fry: No this can't be happening. I mean I knew he'd die, but this isn't how I pictured it. That's it I can't take this loser life anymore. Everyone I know is dying or dead. I wish I was never born.
Fry runs out of P.E. then suddenly gets hit by a car. It shows Fry going in a whirlwindlike portal. Fry wakes up and hears cars honking saying get out of the road.
Fry: Shut up asshole. I've had a hard day ok.
The cars drive by and flip Fry off.
The next thing Fry knows Leela runs to him saying hold it right there I'm afraid you're going to have to go with me sir. What, what are you talking about Leela .
Leela: What you know me, I don't know you so just step away and let me take you in for some questioning.
Fry: Questioning. Are you braindead.
Leela: Ok pal that's it (Leela pulls out handcuffs, Fry runs away and loses Leela. He huffs real loud and is shocked. He says to himself what's happening to everyone. He hears a woom woom woom woom and sees Zoidberg in a nearby alley eating in a garbage can.)
Fry: Zoidberg boy am I glad to see you.
Zoidberg: Excuse me sir I don't know you but I could sell you one of my kidneys for two-hundred-thousand dollars.
Fry: Two-hundred-thousand dollars that's crazy and anyway I have two I don't need three.
Zoidberg: So I have three, but you don't see me making excuses.
Fry: But still why do you need two-hundred-thousand dollars.
Zoidberg: I lost it in a bet and since I din't get a medical job I became a poor hobo.
Fry: But you are a doctor and I'm one of your regular patients.
Zoidberg: What that can't be I've only lived here two months and by here I mean Earth.
Fry: Wait you lost two-hundred-thousand dollars in two months you really are an idiot.
(A person dumps trash in the dumpster, then Zoid digs in and eat.)
Fry: I guess some things never change.
(Fry frustrated goes back to the old bar where him and Bender went to and Fry sees the bartender and frowns. Then hears a voice saying listen pal if you don't give me my money I'll kill you so bite my shiny metal ass. Fry recognizes that voice and fowl language and he turns around and sees a drunk Bender.)
Fry: Bender is that you.(He walks over to him) Oh thank God. Bender somethings wrong Leela and Zoidberg don't recognize me, are they still mad because of that time I put peanut butter in their chairs because Leela whooped my ass anyway.
Bender: Who the hell are you?
Fry: Stop it Bender you know me I'm Fry your friend, Bender this better not be one of your schemes to take my life insurance money again.
Bender: Listen pal, I don't know you and I don't care unless you have money to buy drugs.
Fry: What, you cant be serious, we've known eachother for years.
Bender: Hey I do know you
Fry: Yes, finally.
Bender: You're the sleezbag whose been stalking me around my house.
Fry: Huh. Are you stoned?
Bender: Listen don't tell me how to live my life I don't know you, I don't want to get to know you and I never will.
Fry: I didn't tell you how to live your life though.
(Bender pulls out a gun.)
Bender: Beat it, I dont't have any friends by the name of Fry and as a matter of fact I don't have any friends at all. Leave me alone.
(Fry runs going crazy trying to comprehend what is going on. So he grabs a hold of himself and tries to make sense out this mess.)
Fry: None of this makes sense at all. Ok first let's find my work.
Fry runs to his work and stops, his jaw opens wide and he almost passed out.
Fry: My work it's gone, it's been torn down. Wait here's a tombstone.
It reads: This is the grave of an old man who never met his dream. Then it says "Proffesor Farnsworth."
Fry: None of this makes sense at all, is this some sort of test. I can't take it any more. So he runs to a bridge near by and is about to jump off when a voice says Stop!
Fry: What, who said that?
God: I did.
Fry: Who's I?
God saying to himself: ugh he really is an idiot
Fry: Holy crap, it's it's God.
God: Watch your mouth.
Fry: Well it's better than shit.
( lightning zaps Fry from the sky)
Fry: Ok I'm sorry so what is this place all about God? Is it a test?
God: Well, you should know.
Fry: What do you mean.
God: Remember you wished you were never born. I just simply granted that wish.
Fry: But why? That's just an expression.
God: Expression, right that's why you were in tears, I saw your face, you meant it . Fry, I was trying to teach you a lesson you wouldn't forget, but for a good cause.
Fry: But still that doesn't matter the proffesor is dead, and so is my family.
God: Do you really think your family would want you to waste your life. You have friends who need you as you learned already. Value life damnit.
Fry: Wait how come you can swear.
God: I'm God I can do whatever I want. Anyway do us all a favor and value life. Spread the word, for the love of God. And also one more thing, wake up.
Fry: Hold on I have more questions.
(Fry goes into the portal and is slung back to the natural realm.)
Leela: Fry please just wake up.
Fry's eyes open.
Fry: Leela. What happened?
Leela: You were hit by a car. Do you have any broken bones?
Fry: Nope just a bad concussion.
The Gang: Alright he's fine everybody leave the show's over
Fry: Wait what about the professor
Leela: The doctor says he just passed out. He'll be alright in a few days.
Fry: Hey, wheres my wallet.
Bender: oh my bad.
Fry: You know usually I would cuss you out, but I had a better look on life tonight.
Bender: What, you just got hit by a car. I think you need some rest.
Fry: Nevermind it's a long story I'll tell you sometime.
Hermes: Alright due to the fact that the professor was ill and that Fry just became more stupid we are closing P.E. until further notice.
The Gang: Hurray!
Hermes: Except for Zoidberg.
(Everybody leaves and Bender and Fry start to walk home)
Fry: Man this was a crazy day
Bender: I know what you mean, that bartender found out I stole his wallet and when you were knocked out he called the cops on me. So we might have to sleep at P.E. for a while.(They head back to work).
Fry: You know Bender life is short we should cherish it while we're alive.
Bender: You're starting to sound really wierd.
Fry: No I'm serious life is too precious to waste
Bender: So does this mean you don't want to get drunk with me any more.
Fry: Are you kidding? Hell no.
(Then lightning strikes Fry )