What Were You Expecting? Fish Police?
Screen: Road Runner cartoon.
Fry is in the Planet Express building and sees nobody is there. However he sees a vial lying on the floor that peeks his curiousity.
Fry: Hmmm, I wonder where everyone is? Why would they leave without me? I wonder what's in here?
Just as Fry picked up the vial, Roberto breaks in.
Fry (turning to see Roberto): Roberto! What do you want?
Roberto: Revenge! On you and your friend, Bender for sending me to that penal planet for fraud!
Fry: But that was two years ago!
Roberto: Give me that vial!
Fry: I don't even know what's in it!
Roberto: GIVE ME THAT VIAL!!!!
Roberto grabs the vial away from Fry. Then he ties up Fry to a chair, gags him, and runs away.
Roberto: Hope you're tied up nice and cool!!!
Fry (muffled screams): HELP! HELP ME! (Under his breath): I'm tied up nice and lame!
Fry is bound and gagged for 3 hours. After he hears Bender outside the building in a terrible fight with Roberto.
Fry (gag falls off): Bender! Help me! Roberto has me in here!
Bender (fighting Roberto): Not now, meatwad! Save yourself, chump!
Bender and Roberto were wrestling each other for the vial. This continues until Bender zaps electricity from his finger which incapacitates Roberto then Roberto lets go of the via. Roberto falls into a manhole.
Bender (holding the vial): Yes! Bender is great! The world can bite my shiny metal ass!
Bender walks into the PE building whistling to himself. Then he sees Fry all trussed to the chair and screams.
Bender (screams): Fry! You're tied up nice and lame!
Fry: Get me out of here, Bender! I've been stuck here for three hours!
Bender: All right! All right! Don't get your knickers in a twist!
Bender untied Fry. Just then the P.E. ship lands, and out came Leela, Prof. Farnsworth, Hermes, Amy, and Zoidberg.
Fry: Where have you all been?
Prof. Farnsworth: We'll explain everything in my bedroom! Come everyone!
Everyone gathered in the Professor's bedroom. Fry and Bender tried to tell everyone what happened to them, and nobody cared.
Fry: Roberto tied me up....
Bender: I was in a wrestling match with him for that vial, and I kicked his......
Leela: Excuse me! The Professor is trying to tell us something! Let's hear what he has to say!
Amy: Go on, Professor!
Farnsworth: We all went to the four corners of the universe to gather space minerals, stardust, and moon rocks to create this potion! Which is called, "The Up-Down Potion!"
Hermes: We didn't invite you and Bender along, Fry mon. Because you guys would've ruined the mission anyway! Can't trust you!
Zoidberg: But, I was trusted!
Everyone: Shut up, Zoidberg!
Farnsworth: Anyway, the Up-Down potion if swallowed can make anyone have the ability to go inside people's bodies!
Farnsworth: However, it must not be fallen into the wrong hands! So, Fry, you will guard these vials of the Up-Down potion we gathered when we were on the mission!
Fry: You can count of me, Professor!
Bender: Just make sure Roberto don't come back, skintube!
Fry: Will do, Bender!
Leela (to Fry): Maybe this way, guarding the Up-Down potion can help you mature a little, Fry!
Fry: Sure, Leela. (sighs despondently)
It was past midnight. Fry was in the living room watching "The Scary Door" whilst guarding the vials of the Up-Down potion. The television showed a little girl was controled people's minds just by looking at them. However, it didn't interest Fry. All he had on his mind was why Leela didn't like him.
Plus, Leela's voice echoed in his head, 'Maybe this way, guarding the Up-Down potion can help you mature a little Fry, mature a little.....mature a little....mature a little.....
Fry: What is it about me that Leela doesn't like? I've tried everything and nothing works!
Then Fry looks at the vials of the Up-Down potion.
Fry: Hmmmm, what if........I know! I'll drink that potion and go inside Leela's body! Then maybe I'll find out why she doesn't like me!
Fry opens one vial out of 10 of the Up-Down potion and drinks it. Then he leaves the PE Building and walks over to Leela's apartment and walks into her room and sees her sleeping in bed.
Fry (thinking): Perfect! Now all I have to do is jump inside her body, and maybe get into her head!
Fry jumps inside Leela's body headfirst into her ear. Then Leela wakes up and notices something isn't right. Then the Up-Down potion starts taking effect little by little.
Leela (In Fry's voice): What happened? I could've sworn something went into my ear!
Then Leela goes into the bathroom and looks in the mirror and screams as she sees Fry in the reflection.
Leela (regular voice): I've become Fry! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
The Up-Down potion has taken full effect by the next day. Meanwhile at Planet Express, everyone wondered where Fry and Leela were. Bender volunteers to investigate.
Bender: Don't worry, chumps! Bender's on the job! I'll find that eyeball and that skintube!
Amy: I hope you do soon. It's not like Leela to be late for work.
Hermes: Yes, but Fry on the other hand.....
Just then Leela enters the room and starts acting like Fry, for Fry was trapped inside Leela's body!
Leela (acting like Fry): What up! (5 second silence.) Hey, you're all supposed to say, 'word'!
Farsworth: OH NO! OH DEAR GOD NO!
Hermes: Sweet Zombie Jesus! What is it Professor?
Amy: Will we need to stage an intervention?
Hermes: Maybe for Zoidberg!
Zoidberg (Runs away crying)
Farsnworth: I was afraid this would happen! And to think I left that unfathomable moron in charge of guarding the Up-Down potion! Fry you are hearby banned from guarding things!
Leela: Hey, I had no idea this would happen! I just wanted to see why Leela didn't like me! You know! Get inside her head! Oh, anyone have any Slurm? Today, I want to sit around and watch some TV! Don't feel like making any deliveries!
Bender: So, how long will Fry be stuck in Leela's body? Not that I care! Because I don't!
Farnsworth: From the research I did on the Up-Down potion, anyone who drinks it and gets inside someone's body, it will take a week! Someone has to watch out for them! Because if Leela were to sustain injury with Fry inside her body, he will be stuck inside her forever!
Farnsworth: Bender, you Leela and Fry will take the week off until Fry gets out of her body! And make her she doesn't hurt herself in any way!
Bender: All right! A weeks vacation of nothing but slacking off and partying! (Hi Fives Leela).
Amy: Speaking of parties, Bender, would you like to come to my party at Kappa Kappa Wong?
Leela: I am so there!
Bender: Ditto! (To Leela): Hey, meatwad! Now that you're in Leela's body, are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Leela: Not really, why?
Bender: Think about it, skintube! Start doing things for the next week that Leela would never do! Like to go Amy's party!
Leela: Yes, you bet!
(The Offspring's "Can't Get My Head Around You" plays thoughout):
The week starts on Monday when Leela and Bender were at Amy's party. They were dancing, drinking, and having fun. Tuesday, Leela and Bender go to a bar and challange everyone to get drunk. Leela begins dancing on a barstool. Wednesday: Leela and Bender go joyriding in the PE Ship and slingshot around Saturn's rings. Thursday: Leela and Bender vandalize Leela's orphaniarium by shooting off firecrackers and toilet papering the building and scaring the orphans. Friday, Leela and Bender run around the city putting flaming bags on people's doorsteps, standing on mailboxes, shouting at people, throwing empty Slurm cans at people, and putting gum on he receviers on pay phones. Saturday: Leela and Bender go surfing at the beach.
On Sunday Leela and Bender went back to work. The Professor still had hope that Fry will come out of Leela's body, so he sent Leela and Bender on a delivery mission.
Farnsworth: Good news, Leela and Bender! Or should I say, 'Freela'?
Bender: What's the mission you senile bag of bones?
Leela (laughing): Good one, Bender!
Farnsworth: Today you will deliver these spaceship rudders to the DOOP spaceship!
Leela: Yay! All right! Zapp Branigan's there! As, me, Fry inside Leela's body, I'm going to seduce Zapp!
Farnsworth: Oh, no you won't! Because anyone who drinks the potion and tries to seduce somebody, you might be trapped inside Leela forever, Fry!
Leela: Who cares? I live for the moment, anyway! Uhhh, what did you say, again, Professor? I didn't catch that!
Farsnworth: Keep an eye on him or her, Bender!
Bender: Yeah, yeah, whatever! I'm a bending robot, not a babysitter!
Leela and Bender jump into the PE Ship and take off.
Leela and Bender fly the ship finding the DOOP ship. Once they finally arrived, Leela wanders off to find Zapp with Bender in tow. Bender was carrying the box of spaceship rudders.
Bender: Now this I have to see! (laughes evilly.)
Leela approaches Zapp's quarters in the ship and Kif goes off to inform him. Now Leela was carrying the box of rudders.
Kif: Uh, sir! Leela's coming to your quarters. (Points to the viewscreen).
Zapp (gasps in delight as he sees Leela in the viewscreen): Why so it is! I knew she'd come crawling back! Kif, get my bedroom ready! And here she is!
Kif: (groans in disgust and leaves the room).
Leela (standing in the doorway): Hello, Zapp! I've come to deliver these rudders! And a whole lot more!
Zapp: Leela! I've always dreamed this day would come!
Leela : I just can't deny it any longer! I'm in love with you!
Zapp: Well, Leela the lucious! We're both spaceship captains! That's probably what attracted us together in the first place!
Zapp and Leela go into his bedroom. It looks just as it did before. Bender was outside the ship filming them.
Bender: I shoulda been a Hollywood producer!
Back in Zapp's bedroom, Leela was laying on his bed. Zapp stood beside her.
Leela: So, Zappy baby, what do you say we pick up where we left off?
Zapp: Now that's why I call body language! (growls).
Leela (sitting up): But, first, I think there's something you should know about me!
Zapp: Tell Zapp all about it!
Leela: I'm not really who you think I am.
Little by little Fry is coming out of her body. However, Leela was unaware, and is still acting like Fry.
Zapp: Sure you are! Why, you're......
Leela: No, no, no, no, no, no, no! I've been lying to you all along! But not about my love for you......
Zapp: Well, I'm waiting! What do you want to tell me?
Leela (getting up): I'll show you!
Song: Boy George's The Crying Game plays
Leela takes off her shirt and it reveals she's really a man! She is still unaware that it's really Fry trying to come out of her body.
Zapp (screams in terror): AHHHHHHHH!! LEELA! You were really a man all along? I won't bother you, anymore! (Runs out of the bedroom).
Kif is in the bathroom cleaning it, and Zapp throws him out and vomits in the toilet.
Kif: Sir, what the.....
Meanwhile back in Zapp's bedroom, she looks at herself in the mirror.
Leela (acting like herself): My God! What's happening? First I act like Fry, then I try to seduce Zapp, and I'm in Zapp's bedroom! What is going on!
Bender jumps into the bedroom and picks her up and puts her back on the PE Ship.
Bender: Uh, oh! Looks like that Up-Down potion's starting to wear off!
Leela: Up-Down potion! The one the Professor invited! Who took it?
Then Fry slowly jumps out of Leela's body and comes out through her ear. The same way Fry went in.
Fry: Yes, Leela! The Up-Down potion! I took it!
While Bender drives the PE Ship back to earth, Fry tries to explain to Leela why he took the Up-Down potion. Much to Leela's dismay.
Leela: Fry! I am so mad at you! Why would you take the Professor's Up-Down potion and go into my body?
Fry: I thought it was a way to try to get to know you better!
Leela: Yes, and for the past week, you made me act like an immature, moronic idiot! Like you! And I was totally unaware of it! I should've known!
Fry: Look on the bright side! At least Zapp Branigan won't be bothering you anymore!
Leela (calming down): Yes, that's right.
Fry: I just wanted to know what it was that you didn't like about me! I didn't know that potion was going to trap me inside you! I thought it was a way to get inside your head. At least that's what I thought the Professor said it was for.
Leela: Oh, Fry. I don't know what to say, but still......
Fry: Look at it this way, at least you lived my life in my shoes! Even if it was for a week!
Leela: You never should've done that! We trusted you to guard that Up-Down potion for falling into the wrong hands! It's good and it's bad what you did! I'm mad, but I'm glad......
However, like you said, Zapp won't bother me, again!
Fry: Oh, Leela! There's no person I'd rather have be mad at me than you!
Leela: Well, anyway. I'm glad it's over. Life's too short to hold a grudge. We'll always be friends, Fry.
Scene 9. Conclusion:
Back at the PE Building Fry, Bender, and Leela told everyone about their adventure.
Bender: When Leela took off her shirt, it was really Fry trying to come out! That chump Zapp actually thought Leela was really a man!
Everyone laughs and cheers. Then Kif contacts them on their viewscreen.
Amy: Hey, look it's my boyfriend! Hi, sweetie! How are you doing?
Kif (nervous): Fine I guess! I just want to say that......Zapp told me to tell you all he never wants to see Leela again! He wants....(gasping)....nothing to do with you anymore Leela! Oh, and Amy! Zapp is still puking in the toilet! So I managed to sneak away to tell you all this and to ask you, Amy to......(gasping)....meet me at the Hip Joint?!
Amy: I'll be there!
Kif (signing off): Okay! See you then!
Farnsworth: Fry! I've said this once, and I'll say it again! You are banned from guarding! From now on, Leela will guard! But you still can participate in devlieries!
Fry: Sounds okay to me!
Bender: Later losers! I'm going to the planet Blackjack 47 for the rest of the night!
Everyone leaves expect for Fry and Leela.
Fry: Well, Leela. At least I finally know how you feel about me! I'll never be more then a friend!
Leela: Let's just say, I consider you to be my very special friend! But in a platonic way!
Fry: I guess that's fine with me! At least I'll know you'll still talk to me!
Leela: Now that I've lived life in your shoes, thanks to the Up-Down potion, which by the way the Professor has well hidden somewhere you can't find it! I think I understand you a whole lot better!
Leela leaves the room and Fry calls out.
Fry (calling out): Hey, if it weren't for me, Zapp would still be lusting after you!
Fry walks into the living room and sits back on the couch and watches TV. Fry is still dreaming on the day he and Leela will get together.
Trenton Sands: firstname.lastname@example.org