Opening Credits Scene:
Ball Bearings Not Included.
Screen: Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck cartoon
A train is racing through space. The
Train has a Mom's Friendly Robot Oil decal on it. Inside were Walt,
Larry, and Inger fighting over who controls the train.
Larry: (Pushing Walt aside): It's my
turn to drive the train you Neptunian-livered bucket of cowardice!
Walt: You seem to be
forgetting......Mom loves "me" best! For I'm the firstborn
son! So, it's always my turn! (laughs evilly)
Walt is about to approach the controls
though Inger gets there first.
Inger: Ha ha on you! Not this time!
Walt pushes Inger and Larry jumps on
top of both of them. They fight for a while until they see the Planet
Express ship in the midst.
Walt, Larry, and Inger: (together):
Planet Express alert!
Larry: Batten the hatches!
Inger: Secure the couplings!
Walt: Wait! No! Stop! We'll let them
come near us. After all, they know about our plans to spread this
mind control oil all over the universe and control peoples, robots,
and aliens minds. If they come, we have a big surprise in store!
Meanwhile in the Planet Express ship,
Everyone but the Professor was on board.
Fry: Hey, Leela. What was the mission
Leela: I already told you the mission.
Five minutes ago! Enlighten him, Bender!
Bender: The Professor wants us to stop
Mom's sons from spreading mind-control oil throughout the universe.
Don't ask us again!
Fry: (sighing): Fine. (Walks away)
Zoidberg: (Looking out the window): I
SEE THE TRAIN! I SEE THE TRAIN! I SEE IT! I SEE IT! I SEE IT!
Hermes: (exasparated): Yes! Yes! We see
it, too! It's there, all right?!
Amy looks out the window and sees two
alienoid bikers that look like a wolf and an allagator. The wolf is
named Big EZ and the allagator is named Huge Ryder.
Amy: Eeeep! (Jumps under a chair).
Bender walks up to Amy.
Bender: Hey, Amy! (imitates her
Amy: Splay! Don't make fun of me!
Bender: (sees the bikers): Were you
screaming at those bikers?
Amy: (hesitant): No, of course not.
Where would you get a crazy idea like that?
Bender: Did a biker kill your husband
in a past life? Since you Buddhists believe in that sort of thing,
Fry goes into the back room and sees
Zoidberg in a funk.
Zoidberg: Hey, Fry. You look just as
glum as I do. Is the robot giving you grief about your scrawniess
Fry: No. I just want Leela to like me.
And I want respect. I'm tired of Leela and Bender being so cynical to
me and pushing me aside.
Zoidberg: I want respect too. I'm a
doctor. I should be a millionaire.
Fry: I still don't know what is Leela
doesn't see in me,
Zoidberg: (snaps his claws): I got it!
Zoidberg: How about you and I stop
Mom's train? We'll be heroes and we'll get the respect we deserve.
Fry: Awesome! We'll be like action
heroes! Like Harrison Ford and Bruce Willis!
Zoidberg: Let's go for it, already!
The Planet Express ship is flying in
the back of the train. The last boxcar is open.
Leela: This looks too good to be true.
Bender: It's like they want us to
capture them. What is it? Do they have no self-esteem?
Fry and Zoidberg run to the ships exit.
Bender: Hey, where do you chumps think
Fry and Zoidberg: We're stopping Mom's
train and we'll triumph and me heroes, goodbye!
Leela: No, wait! It's a trap! Fry, if
you try to stop the train, I'll be very upset with you!
Amy: Come back! (Looks at Hermes): Say
Hermes: Am I supposed to care about
those demented fools?
Fry and Zoidberg run outside and jump
onto the train's last boxcar. Walt, Larry, and Inger are inside
laying in wait,
Leela: No, don't! (Sees the boxcar
closing) Oh, Lord.
Bender: Poor old skintube and lobster.
We hardly knew ye.
Fry and Zoidberg are inside the boxcar
confronting Mom's sons.
Zoidberg: (holding up is claw): En
Fry: Surrender, villains! For we are
action heroes! I'm like Harrison Ford and Zoidberg's like Bruce
Zoidberg: Yes, we're a heroic team.
Unbeatable if you will!
Walt: Okay, we surrender.
Larry: You caught us,
Inger: Do whatever you want....
Fry and Zoidberg: (high fiving): Yes,
we did it!
Walt presses a button that makes the
train go at roller coaster speeds. Fry and Zoidberg go flying about.
Walt: (laughes evilly): We have no
intentions of surrendering to the likes of you.
Larry: You two aren't heroes, you're
now both prisoners! Testers for our oil!
Inger: We one upped you! We one upped
Walt slaps Inger.
Walt: I'll restrain the prisoners!
Fry and Zoidberg gulp.
The Planet Express ship is on standby
while Mom's train speeds away.
Leela: (pounding her fist on the
dashboard): Oooooh! That idiot! Fry just makes me so mad! Why doesn't
he ever think before he acts?
Bender: What do I look like? His
counseler? I don't know.
Leela: And he wonders why I don't want
to go out with him.
Hermes: Okay, let's recollect and
focus. How do we catch up to Mom's train and track them down?
Leela looks at the controls and finds
the fastest speed on the ship: Ominious speed.
Leela: We haven't tried 'Ominious
Speed' yet. Looks like we have no choice.
Amy: (gasps): Wouldn't that waste gas?
Hermes: No, of course not. Now all we
need is some kind of robot to pull down the lever and track down the
Amy: You're a robot, Bender! You can
pull down the lever!
Leela: Plus, you have a tracking device
built in you. We're depending on you.
Bender: Can't anyone leave me alone for
five minutes? You're all too needy and dependent on me! Just because
I'm a robot!
Leela; Come on, Bender. Fry's and
Zoidberg's lives are at stake. At least do it for him.
Bender: (grumbles in disgust): Fine.
Bender: Preparing ship for Ominious
The Planet Express ship goes through
space in horrendous speeds. Bender tracks down the train and finds
out it's headed for Europa. Meanwhile on Mom's train in Europa, Walt
was restraining Fry and Zoidberg who were sitting on chairs. Walt
cuffed Fry's hand to an armrest with handcuffs, and cuffed his other
hand to a triangle handle above them, Then, he cuffed Zoidberg's claw
to the triangle handle next to Fry's. And cuffs his other claw on his
side of the armrest. Walt strapped Fry and Zoidberg down with seat
belts tightly and tied their ankles with twine.
Fry: (struggling against his cuff): You
know, I'm really skinny. I'm small boned! I can slip through this.
Fry continues to struggle to try to get
out of the handcuff.
Fry: Skinniness don't fail me now!
Walt: Don't bother struggling. The more
you do, the more you cut off your circulation.
Zoidberg: Give it up, Fry! It's
Fry: Can't you spit some of your slime
Zoidberg: (hopelessly): Trust me, It
Walt: You'll both have no choice but to
wait to get rescued.
Larry come in through the door with the
Larry: These bikers are willing to help
Big EZ: Howdy! My name is Big EZ!
Huge Ryder: And I'm Huge Ryder!
Walt: Interesting! We work for Planet
Express. And there's a spaceship after us from Mom's Friendly Robot
Larry: Will you help us defeat them?
Inger: Will you do it?
Big EZ: Yeah, we'll do it!
Huge Ryder: Will you pay us?
Walt: Handsomely. As soon as you help
us defeat Plan.....I mean.... Mom's spaceship!
Larry: Just be on the lookout for them.
If you see them, fight!
Big EZ and Huge Ryder: All right!
Inger: (To Fry and Zoidberg): Tied up
nice and cool? (Pinching Fry's check)
Fry whimpers. Zoidberg sighs.
Walt: Planet Express won't ever think
to find us here on Europa!
The Planet Express ship is still on
Onimous speed. It slows down once they see the train
Inger: There it is. It's
Planet.......oops! I mean Mom's company!
Big EZ and Huge Ryder look into the
closet where all the mind control is in.
Big EZ: What's all this?
Walt: (slamming the door): Nothing,
nothing. Just go fight the enemy,
Huge Ryder: Right boss!
The Planet Express ship and Mom's train
are riding side by side. Big EZ and Huge Ryder are on top of the
train armed with whips and chains.
Amy: (screams): I think I'll sit this
one out! If those bikers see me, they'll know I'm a rich girl!
Amy hides in the utility closet, and
Hermes is driving the ship. Leela and Bender come on top of the ship.
They too are armed with whips and chains. Europa was grey, dingy,
rocky, and dark.
Song: Arcade Fire's Black Mirror plays.
Big EZ: You're going down!
Leela: The hell I am! Hee-ya!
Leela swung the chain causing Big EZ
and fall over.
Huge Ryder: Wow! She has some fight in
her! I like that!
Bender: (swinging on a rope): Wait
'till you get a load of me!
Leela and Bender get into an intense
fight with the bikers. Meanwhile, Fry and Zoidberg watch and listen
to the commotion helplessly.
Fry: Hear that fighting? That should be
Zoidberg: You were a hero once, Fry.
Remember when you were Captain Yesterday?
Fry: That was only a one-time thing.
still......uhhhh.....forgot what I was gonna say.
Leela and Bender continue to fight the
bikers. Hermes continues to fly the ship while Amy is still hiding.
Hermes: Amy! Come on out here and help
Amy: Are those creepy bikers gone yet?
Hermes: Fine, suit yourself.
Leela and Bender finally knock down the
bikers. Then the bikers see a PE decal on the ship and a Mom's decal
on the train.
Big EZ: Uh, oh.....
Huge Ryder: I think we made a huge
Bender: Yeah, messing with me.
Leela: Trusting Mom's sons is a huge
Big EZ: So, you're Planet Express?
Leela: Yes, we are.
Huge Ryder: And they're?
Bender: The enemy.
Leela: You can make it up to us by
telling what you know.
Big EZ: We found some oil in the closet
of the train.
Bender: Mind control oil!
Huge Ryder: We saw two prisoners.
Forgot what they looked like. One was fat and one was skinny I think,
We made such a.....
Bender: Want to work for us, instead?
Huge Ryder: Sure, what can we do?
Leela: We'll sneak aboard the train.
and throw the oil into Jupiter since it's not too far away from here.
Big EZ: We know where the closet is.
Luckily I always carry a cannon with me.
Bender opens his chest compartment and
reveals fireworks inside.
Bender: Got these from Mexico!
Leela: Come on.
Leela, Bender, and the bikers sneak
aboard the train. Leela and Bender hide when Mom's sons walk by.
Larry: Bikers, you're in charge.
Inger: We're taking a potty break!
Walt: I assume you defeated Mom's
Big EZ and Huge Ryder: (saluting): Yes
sir, we did!
Mom's sons go to the bathroom. Bender
and Leela come out of hiding,
Leela: Show us this closet.
Bender: We're replacing the oil with
Huge Ryder led them to the closet Leela
and Big EZ load the cans of oil into his cannon. Bender and Huge
Ryder fill the closet up with fireworks.
Bender: (singing): 'Cuz, I'm TNT!
Dynamite! TNT! Out of sight! TNT! Watch it explode!
Leela: Great job! Bender, now all you
have to do is mess with the train controls.
Bender goes to the front of the train
and turns the knob from 'fastest' to 'Wanna Go Faster', to "Hurry
up Grandma!' to "ARE YOU CRAZY?!" The train goes in
Bender: Move over, Burt Lancaster!
There's a new train derailer in town! In your face!
Bender goes back to the closet area and
sees Leela and the bikers shooting the cans of oil into Jupiter.
Huge Ryder: Dude! You're back! Awesome
Bender lights the fireworks.
Big EZ: Thanks for letting us help you.
Bender: Ahhhhh, it was nothing.
Huge Ryder: You seem like the biker
type, ever consider being one?
Bender: Nah, not really. I'd really
like to be a petty thief of a international drug kingpin. But......I
could try to think about it!
Leela: That's our Bender!
Bender: Holy *beep!*
Leela: What is it now?
Bender: We forgot all about Fry and
Big EZ: Go save your friends!
Huge Ryder: Then we'll give you a ride
back to your ship!
Leela: Lucky for us those fireworks
won't explode for a while.
Walt, Larry, and Inger discover what
happened to the train. They're unable to stop it. Fry and Zoidberg
continue to lament.
Fry: Looks like we're stuck here.
Zoidberg: To be Mom's test subjects for
Fry: What can be worse?
Bender: (running in the aisles
Fry: Bender! You rescued us!
Zoidberg: Untie us already!
Bender: All right, all right! I'll
Bender used his laser pointer to free
Fry and Zoidberg from their handcuffs, seat belts and twine.
Fry: Thank you for untying us, Bender!
Zoidberg: This experience has made me a
Bender: Yeah, yeah, happy for ya! We
gotta get out of here! This train will explode!
They all run. Fry runs to Leela and
hugs and kisses her.
Fry: Leela! (kisses her): I'm sorry for
doing something so stupid! Next time I'll listen to you!
Bender: I'm the one who saved you!
You're giving her all the credit?
They all get a ride back to the Planet
Express ship from the bikers. And Big EZ and Huge Ryder bid them
farewell. Meanwhile, Mom's sons try to call Mom on the vidphone.
Walt: I'll call Mom, she'll know what
Larry: (sees the biker pass by): They
Inger: Let me talk to her!
Mom answers the phone.
Mom: What's going on? This better me
Walt: There's something going on with
Walt hands Inger the receiver.
Walt: You better talk to her.
Inger: Me! Hi, Mom! It was all Planet
Expresses fault you ma'am wonderful momness, because.....
Mom: JUST GET TO THE POINT!!!
Walt, Larry, and Inger: (together): WE
CAN"T STOP THE TRAIN!
The train crashed into a mountain and
exploded. The fireworks explode all around. Leaving Mom's sons
stranded and their uniforms ripped up. They watch a fire on the
distance. Disaster was everywhere.
Larry: Maybe she'll come pick us up!
Walt slaps both Larry and Inger.
Scene 7 Conclusion:
The Planet Express ship heads back to
Earth from Europa.
Leela: Hey, Amy. You never did tell us
why you don't like bikers.
Bender: Hermes told us you weren't any
help! And to think you all think I'm lazy!
Amy: Well, it's because my parents
tried to set me up with one.....
Fry: What happened?
Amy: All he did was bully me and steal
my money. After that one date, I got scared of bikers and assumed
they were all like that.
Hermes: When did this happen?
Amy: A year before I started interning
at Planet Express.
Fry: Wow! That's horrible. I don't like
bullies! Anyway, it was cool how we defeated Mom and her sons!
Leela: The important thing is we
completed this mission. Amy got bullied. Who knew?
Bender: Now Mom and her dipstick sons
are going to learn the agony of defeat!
Zoidberg: And we're all better people
because of it. What a story this was! Fry and I tried to be heroes,
Amy scared of bikers. Hermes, Bender, and Leela did all the work
Bender: OKay, you can shut up now!
Closing Credits Scene.