Opening Credits Scene:
Tonight's Episode......Dead Men Don't Laugh!
Flashing Caption: Special Guest Appearances by Stan Smith, Roger the Alien, and Klaus Heissler!
Screen: Pilot Episode to American Dad
It was a typical day in New New York and Planet Express. Bender was running away from Off. Smitty and URL because he stole some DVDs and a Vase at the Smithsonian.
Off. Smitty: Freeze! You can't make us run forever!
URL: Want to know what rhymes with Bender? Surrender!
Bender: Over by dead bloated shiny metal ass!
At Planet Express, Leela, Hermes, Amy, and Zoidberg were finishing installing a doorbell.
Leela: There. Done. All we need to do is add in one more screw.
Amy: Splah, we did screws A through T.
Hermes: We'll get Zoidberg to install it! ZOIDBERG!!!
Zoidberg (enters room): Yes, sir! (salutes)
Hermes: Get in here and help us finish installing this doorbell!
Zoidberg: What do you need me to do?
Hermes: Hand us Screw U.
Zoidberg: (shocked): What did you say?
Hermes: I said SCREW U!!!!
Leela: We need one more screw in this doorbell, now help us find it.
Zoidberg (picks up the last screw): Oh, Screw U! (hands Hermes the screw)
Hermes: Screw YOU a million times over! (takes screw)
Then Zoidberg installs the last screw into the doorbell.
Amy: Maybe you're worth something after all.
Leela: Now, let's test it. Fry!
Fry was in the other room watching the music video from The Bloodhound Gang "Why Is Everybody Always Picking on Me" and dancing to it. Even taking off his shirt.
Hermes: What's taking him so long!
Fry: Check out my slick moves, Leela! My favorite song of the 90's!
Leela dragged Fry out of the room. Fry put his shirt back on.
Amy: There he is.
Fry: What up, my fine friends. What do you need me to do?
Leela: Go outside and press that doorbell.
Fry: Sure thing! Anything for you, Leela!
Then Fry goes outside and unwittingly steps in a rain puddle and is about to press the doorbell.
Hermes: Press it now!
Fry: Ready for testing! (presses doorbell)
Just then Fry pressed the doorbell and he got a huge electrical shock. His body was flashing and his skeleton showed. Fry fell into the ground and into the puddle. Bender runs into Planet Express and sees Fry.
Bender: Yo, Fry! What's the 'skinny' on your 'shocking' new look?! (laughs)
Fry (slowly): ready......for.....testing......(faints)
Farnsworth: Great job installing that doorbell!
Bender runs inside Planet Express with the vase and DVDs in tow.
Farnsworth: Bender! On the run from the law again?
Bender: Yes, what else is new?
Leela: What is this vase you stole?
Bender: It's from the Smithsonian. I wanted to steal it so I can sell it for drugs.
Amy: Typical Bender. I'm surprised you haven't been fired for all your criminal acts.
Hermes (takes the DVDs): What are these DVDs? Suspiria? Cat O' Nine Tails?
Bender: I'm a Dario Argento fan! So sue me! I can't get enough of his movies! (hands Hermes the vase) Here, hold this for me. The cops'll be here at any minute!
Hermes: Why do you want me to hold this?
Bender: Well, let's face the truth here, Biggie Smalls. The police are always getting after 'you people'!
Hermes: No! I am not covering for your........(angerly).....wait a minute! What do you mean by "You People!"?
Then a knock is heard at the door. It's Officer Smitty and URL.
Off. Smitty: Open up! This is the police!
URL: Come out with your funky hands up!
Leela: Hermes is right. Own up to your own responsibilities.
Amy: I'd turn myself in if I were you!
Bender: They'll never take me alive! I'm too cool to get caught!
Farnsworth: Well, Bender, looks like you get to make your getaway after all.
Leela: Really? Why is that?
Farnsworth: I invented a thing that hides Vases and you're all going on a mission. (puts vase in a box).
Leela: What's the mission?
Scruffy comes in with a box full of treasures and gourmet food.
Farnsworth: You are all going to deliver this box of treaures and gourmet food to the planet Turkianna.
Bender: Sounds like a Thanksgiving planet. What are we going to meet there? Pilgrims?
Farnsworth: It's not. It's a prison planet. It's the Guantanamo Bay of the universe. More like a Turkish Prison, if you will. And the prisonsers follow the orders of a mysterious voice.
Zoidberg: Turkish Bath? Can Zoidberg join in on this!
Hermes: He meant prison! Not bath, you trailer trash scumbag!
Leela: That makes sense. Prisoners getting treasures and good food.
Hermes: That's poetic. Bender making a delivery to a prison planet.
Bender: Count me in! Hey, Fry! We're going to a planet called Turkianna!
Fry straddles inside slowly, his hair is sticking up and his skin is blackened, and his clothes are torn. He follows Leela and Bender into the Planet Express ship.
Leela: Come on, Fry. Don't dwadle!
Fry: I'm alive. I survivied an electrical shock. Hey! Maybe I have superpowers! Like Alex Mack! (tries to point and nothing happens) Awwww!
Bender (dragging Fry): The only superpowers you have are being dumb and scrawny!
The Planet Express ship takes off for Turkianna. Off. Smitty and URL try to find the vase and DVDs. With no luck.
Off Smitty: You guys seen a vase or DVDs?
Hermes, Amy, and Zoidberg all nod their heads no.
URL: Our work here is done.
The Planet Express ship soars into space until it reaches Turkianna.
Fry: Do you think this planet has the death penalty?
Bender: Hope so. Maybe that voice will let me execute a prisoner there in the electric chair! Always wanted to do that!
Leela: No, Bender. It's just life-long imprisionment for everyone.
Fry: Are there women and children there?
Bender: Nope, just men. But there's a Scared Straight Program there for at-risk teens!
Leela: We'll send you to that program!
Bender: Shut up, bitch!
After three hours in space traffic, the Planet Express Ship finally lands in Turkianna and everyone gets out. Bender carries the boxes of treaures and gourmet food. Turkianna is a dismal prison planet. All the walls there are gray, brown, white, and gloomy and there's locked prison cells, barbed wires, and the inmates are doing hard manual labor. There's also a lot of security everywhere. The prison even has yards and gyms as well. The prisoners wear jumpsuit and have to wear Tic Tac Toe underwear. The prisoners crimes are various. Fry is recovered. Beyond the prison is a forest where the well behaved prisoners can go to if they wanted to.
Leela: Wonder who this mysterious voice is?
Bender: Judging from his place, maybe it's Joe Arpaio!
Fry: This place is giving me the creeps. After we make the delivery, let's go straight home.
Bender: Great! Cowardly Fry strikes again! (looks around the prison planet): Looks like a damed Snoop Doggy Dogg video! Or maybe Alicia Keys!
Then they are stopped by a guard.
Guard: Halt! Who goes there?
Leela: We're here to deliver these boxes.
Guard: Come in.
They are lead into a stadium like field. There's a horn there that looks like a megaphone on the wall. All the prisoners await them and orders from The Voice.
Prisoner #1: Outsiders! What is your business on our planet?
Fry: We're here to shower you with treasures!
Bender: And gourmet food! Makes me wish I could get sent here!
Leela: We're delivery people from Earth!
Prisoner #2: We might see what The Voice thinks about this!
Then a blowhorn is heard. And a strong male voice is heard over it.
Voice: What do we have here?
Prisoner #3: These outsiders have brought us treaures and gourmet food.
Voice: The voice does not approve of outsiders bringing us such garbage! Besides the rumors of the prisoners here eating gourmet food and getting treasures is a rumor!
Then the Prisoners all grab Bender, Leela, and Fry.
Leela: Great! Now what?
Prisoner #4: What do you want us to do with them, boss?
Voice: They we all be executed for this!
Fry: Wait....What? Us? Executed? Why?
Voice: Because our prison culture does not like outsiders giving us this stuff! We get out resources from the planet UV571!
Bender: You guys can execute them if you let me go.....
Voice: Silence! Our law states that the planet UV571 is only allowed to give us resources! Anyone else from anywhere else, will be executed!
Leela: UV571? What the hell kind of a planet is that?
Voice: It's a government planet! In case you want to know! Throw out the boxes!
The Prisoners do what the voice says and the boxes are eliminated.
Voice: Prisoners! Bring the delivery boy into our quarters and see who he is!
The Prisoners take Fry away.
Fry: Come save me if you can....
Prisoner #5: What abou the other two?
Voice: Throw them out! And put them in nets and hang them from a tree! (laughs evilly) Wow! Heh. I sounded like Michael Richards just now......
The Prisoners show Leela and Bender out of the prison and into a forest where they are put into nets and the nets are tied to a tree that has two treebranches on each side.
Leela: We'll get out of here and kick your asses!
Prisoner #6: Like to see you try!
Bender: I can break out of here....
Prisoner #7: Just in case you don't get bored, here's a little something to keep you occupied!
Both the Prisoners set two fires under the nets Leela and Bender were caught in. They go back to the prison. Beyond the prison is a forest where the well behaved prisoners can go to if they wanted to. Meanwhile in the quarters, some prisoners were putting Fry's feet into a vat of cement.
Fry: What are you doing to me?
Prisoner #8: We're throwing you down a bottomless pit!
Prisoner #9: You're going to stand on that staircase until you fall! (laughs evilly)
After the prisoners did what they were told. They all got a reward.
Voice: Congrats on getting rid of those outsiders! Your reward is you all will dance to Gungnam Style! By Psy!
Voice: And it will be filmed on Youtube!
All the prisoners started to dance to the song. Leela and Bender try to break free from the nets, while Fry is all alone in the quarters standing on a staircase about to fall into a bottomless pit.
At the forest part of Turkianna, Leela and Bender were struggling to get out of the nets they were confined in. With no luck at all as the fire kept burning from underneath them.
Leela: We need to get out of here before we get roasted!
Bender: You'll get roasted, but I won't! And I'm not talking Dean Martin celebrity roast! I can withstand fire! I was in Langdon Cobb's fireplace once!
Two prisoners come to check on Leela and Bender and taunt and laugh at them.
Prisoner #8: Look at this, we're having a barbacue! (laughs)
Prisoner #9: It's Kingsford Tonight! (laughs)
Just then, two cloaked ninja figures come out of nowhere and beat up the prisoners.
Ninja #1: Swing Low! Rob Lowe! Chad Lowe! (punches and kicks prisoner)
Leela: That ninja must not like Rob Lowe and Chad Lowe so much.
Ninja #2 (drinking a bottle of chardonnay): Drunkin' Boxing, bitches! Jackie Chan style! Wooooo! (punches and kicks prisoner)
Bender: That ninja is cool! Only because he's drinking!
Then the cloaked ninja figures knocked out the prisoners, put out the fires underneath Leela and Bender. They free Leela and Bender from the nets.
Leela: Thank you so much for freeing us, Ninjas.
Bender: (scoffs) We could've gotten out of those nets ourselves!
Ninja #1: Actually, we're not Ninjas.
Ninja #2: We're just in disguise.
Then the cloaked ninja figures take off their costumes and reveal themselves to be Stan Smith and Roger the Alien. Bender is starstruck!
Bender: Oh, your God! Could it BE??!!!! It can! I haven't felt this excited since I first meet Calculon!
Stan: Stan Smith, CIA! Of Langley Falls Virginia!
Roger: Roger Smith! Alien master of disguise and bisexual extrordinaire!
Leela: Who are these people?!
Bender: WHAT?!!! Where have you been, one eye? Living under a rock? They're Stan and Roger from American Dad! The other Seth McFarlane cartoon! It's on FOX Sundays!
Leela: I heard of Family Guy......don't watch FOX on Sunday nights...
Roger (laughs): She probably watches Once Upon A Time!
Bender and Roger high five each other.
Stan: Did you guys get banned from the prison, too?
Leela: Yes, because we weren't from some government planet, and then they took Fry from us.
Bender: They tried to kill us, too. And we were thrown out because we delivered something to them, and some voice threw us out!
Stan: Us, too. We were trying to look for Klaus here. Who do you think this voice is?
Bender: I made a joke earlier that is was Joe Arpaio!
Roger: Or maybe it's Christina Aguilera!
Bender: (laughs): Two in a Row! Oh my God! You should see all the cool bars, strip joints, and we have street corners full of drug dealers, con artists, and organ surgeons here in the future!
Roger: Once we get this mission over with, you'll have to show me!
Bender and Roger both laugh as Stan and Leela looked on.
Leela (facepalms): Oh, Lord. Will those two ever grow up?
Stan: You've been wondering about that, too, huh?
Bender, Leela, Stan and Roger all plan to go back inside the prison. First, they tell about how they got to the future and on Turkianna.
Stan: Who's in charge here?
When Leela was about to say she was the Captain, Bender shoved her aside.
Bender: I'm in charge, here! Me Bender!
Stan: Good, I trust a man in charge.
Roger: What do Fry and Leela do?
Bender: They're just my dumb interns I tell what to do. (whispers to Leela) Play along!
Bender: So, how did you guys get the the future?
Stan: It all started when Roger and Klaus were trying to outprank each other....
Roger: Yeah, and then the final straw came when Klaus had this rooster and I got this Golden Retreiver.....
Stan: Then Roger trained the Golden Retriever to fetch. Once it learned how....
Roger: My Golden Retriever grabbed Klaus instead of the rooster and chewed up some....it was so awesome!
Bender: That sounds so like something you would do, Roger! Never let anyone one-up you! That's my motto.
Leela: Please continue, Stan.
Stan: Then Klaus recovered and got so angry at us. And little did we realize, he built a mini-spaceship!
Roger: Klaus actually went into space with it, if you could believe it. Stan and I drove to the Langley Falls Storage place where my spaceship is...
Stan: We both went into space and chased after Klaus. Then Klaus went into a wormhole! Then we went in after him. And we saw Klaus land on this planet, and we've been looking for him ever since.
Leela: Wow, interesting.
Roger: Like in Planet Of The Apes, my spaceship kept showing what year we're in at fast speeds. Once we landed, we saw that we're in the year 3013.
Bender: So. How did you guys get kicked out of the prison?
Stan: We asked the prisoners if they've seen Klaus. They said no.
Roger: I got us kicked out. I went to all the prison cells and reanected that "Oh, Billy" scene from Midnight Express. Pissed them off so bad! (laughs)
Bender: I live to piss people off, too! I don't blame you for doing that, Roger!
Stan: That's why we disguised as Ninjas to try to find Klaus without getting caught. The good prisoners hang around this forest, so they'd catch us, too. And after that, we found and saved you.
Leela: Wow, quite a story. Tell you what, we'll help you find Klaus, if you'll help us find Fry.
Stan: You got yourself a deal!
Then Bender sees a pipe organ.
Bender: I think I know a way for us to get back into the prison.
Stan and Roger get the pipe organ and drag it to the back enterance where they were kicked out. Bender and Leela follow.
Bender: We'll need disguises.
Roger (gets out a suitcase): Right ahead of you! (takes out some Nun's Habits.)
Stan: Nuns Habits?
Leela: Who's going to dress like Nuns?
Roger: Me and Stan are. They always expect religious figures to enter prisons! This plan is foolproof!
Bender: I know that for a fact. Everytime I get arrested, some priest always asks me if I want to find Robot Jesus!
Stan: There's a Robot Jesus in 3013?
Leela: Yes, there's even a Robot Devil, too.
Stan: Wow! Aliens and Robots have their own religion? What does Pat Robertson think about that? Anyway, Bender and Leela. You two get inside the organ.
Bender and Leela do so as Stan and Roger change into Nun's Habits.
Stan: This is so embarrassing! These costumes are the best you can do?
Roger: It was either that, or bar whore costumes!
Stan (angerly): Fine!
Roger and Stan pull the organ where Leela and Bender were in and opened the door to the prison arena where some of the other prisoners were.
Stan: Guess I'm not the first tough guy to dress like a Nun.
Roger: Hey, Stan! This is total, 'Nun-Sense'!
Stan: Roger! Please don't.....
Roger: Want to know what we are? We're 'Nuns On The Run'! (snickers)
Stan: No Nun Jokes!
Roger: You have a very bad 'habit'! (snickers) Look at us, we're a 'Sister Act', dude! (laughs)
The Prisoners stop them.
Prisoner #1: The Nuns are here to get us to convert.
Prisoner #2: And they brought an organ so they can play for us.
Prisoner #3: Mind if we try it?
Just then the Prisoners play around with the organ and Leela and Bender get hit with the keys inside. It continues on until Bender and Leela accidently break out of the bottom of the organ.
Stan: You destroyed church property!
Roger: You'll go to hell for this!
Prisoner #4: Hey, wait a minute! You're not Nuns! (takes off Stan's and Roger's costumes) You're those dudes we kicked out and had excuted!
Bender: Okay, fine! You caught us! Now what?
Then the Blowhorn is heard. And the Voice speaks.
Voice: What do we have here? Trying to sneak back in are we?
Prisoner #5: Yes they did, Boss. What should we do with them.
Voice: They were told to never return, and the other two were supposed to die. Now time for punishment?
Leela: And what kind of punishment is it do we ask?
Voice: The Cyclops and Robot will put on a Football Game between and Prisoners and the Guards. They will be pitted against one another. Who once was friends will now be enemies.
Bender: Leela and I are kind of frenemies!
Stan: And what about us?
Voice: The Alien and Man who came here looking for a fish until the alien pissed off the prisoners. You two will be my personal chefs!
Stan: What? Chefs?
Roger: Wouldn't you know, what a bad time to forget my Mario Batali Croc Shoes!
Voice: Take them all away!
The Prisoners lead Bender and Leela to another stadium as Stan and Roger were being lead into the kitchen.
Bender and Leela were making preparations for the football game the Voice is forcing them to do. While Stan and Roger were in the kitchen. Eventually, Leela got the guards together for her team as did Bender with the Prisoners. They were both pep talking the teams.
Leela: Okay, Team Guards! We are dealing with the baddest of the bad. The scum of the earth! The lowest of the low! And we are going to put the Prisoners in their place! Who's with me!
Guards: HOORAAY!!!!! HOORRAAY!
Bender: Okay, punks and chumps! You hate me, and I hate you even more! We have no respect for authority! We are going to make the guards pay for making us eat bologna sandwichs, and making us wear Tic Tac Toe underwear! Who are we going to beat?
Prisoners: The Guards!
Bender: Whose asses are we going to kick?
Prisoners: The Guards!
Bender: Who are we going to blast away?
Prisoners: The Guards!
Bender: Who are we going to kiss?
Prisoners: The Guards! HEY!!!!
Bender (laughs): Gotcha!
Meanwhile, Stan and Roger were watching the commotion as they were trying to cook.
Stan: Aww, dammit! This really sucks, Roger!
Roger: What do you mean?
Stan: Why is it Leela and Bender get to do a football game, and we're stuck here doing the cooking! What the hell are we supposed to cook for this 'Voice'? The Voice is a (beep)ing (beep) head if you ask me!
Roger: Well, come on. You cook in a way. You like to grill..(gasps)....I got it! (grabs stuffed duck) How about we make him a 'Duck Dinner'?!
Stan: Seems like a good idea.
Roger: Like that Chinese dude from that movie Ted wanted to make!
Stan: I like it! That was a cool movie!
The Voice commands Leela and Bender to the arena to start the football game. The teams take their positions.
Bender: Hope Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake don't show up.
Voice: Okay, there are no rules in the game......
A Football drops in between the teams.
Voice: Both teams will use this exploding football..... If the Prisoners win, your friend's life will be spared. If the Prisoners lose......you friend will be executed! On your mark, get set.......GO!
Bender: You're going down, Eyeball!
Leela: I don't care who wins! I just want to do this to get Fry back!
The Football Game starts. The Guards kick the football and some of the Prisoners catch it only to be tackled by the Guards. After the duck is cooked, Stan and Roger serve the dinner to The Voice. Stan tracked down The Voice with a tracking device, and learns that The Voice is in a booth on the top floor of the Turkianna Prison.
Bender: That was Out Of Bounds! This isn't want I taught you......Gosh!
The Football Game continues on. The second time around, the Prisoners kick the ball and one of the Guards tries to catch it, only to be tackled by a Prisoner. Then one of the Prisoners gets the ball and throws it to the End Zone. The Prisoners score and Bender couldn't be more happier and he even starts to showboat!
Voice: Yes! Prisoners won! 2-0!
Bender: All right! I win, baby! Bender is great! Bender is great! Leela is lame! This calls for a celebration!
Then Bender gets an iPod and plays Nada Surf's "Popular" which was on his playlist. Then Bender makes both the Prisoners and the Guards dance.
Leela: Stop this! Just because you scored, doesn't mean the game's over!
Bender (dancing and singing along): I'm the party star! I'm popular! I got my own car! I'm popular! I'll never get caught! I'm popular! I'm never last picked.......
Leela (singing along): I don't give a rat's ass.....
Bender continues to showboat and the Prisoners and the Guards both dance to Nada Surf's Popular and Bender sings along to it. Stan and Roger finally approach the booth to serve The Voice who was under a box, his dinner
Stan: Okay, voice! Here's your dinner...
Roger (Chinese accent): We make Duck Dinner!
Voice: Thanks! Put it over there. (points to desk)
Roger (normal voice): What is he, Dr. Claw? Blofeld, perhaps?
Stan: Let's see who you really are!
Roger and Stan both take off the box, only to see that the Voice was Klaus!
Stan: Klaus! It was you!
Roger: You were the one who was telling those prisoners to kick us out? And execute Fry, Leela, and Bender!
Klaus: Yes! I am the Voice! So sue me! Here, I get respect! At home, I'm always the punching bag, and one being pranked on! You Smith family are always kicking me around in mein bowl and....
Stan: Guess what? For almost getting Me, Roger, and the Futurama characters killed, you're coming back home with us!
Roger: Yes, we're grounding your ass for 6 months!
Klaus: You were the reason I ran away in the first place....
Stan (picks up Klaus): Doesn't matter! Come with us, now!
Stan and Roger put Klaus in a fishbowl and went downstairs to see Bender still dancing and Leela caught in the middle of it all.
Roger: Look Stan! Bender's Showboating! GO BENDER!!!!
Stan (laughs): That Bender is something else....
The Guards and Prisoners in thearenaare still dancing and Stan, Roger, Leela, and Bender left the arena where the Football Game was taking place.
Roger: Look who we found out to be the big Voice?
Bender: Howard Cosell?
Stan: No, our pet goldfish! Klaus! (shows them Klaus in his bowl)
Leela (laughs): The Prisoners were taking orders from a goldfish! That's pretty pathetic!
Klaus: That's right! For the first time in my life, I felt like the dictator I should be! I would've gotten away with it if it weren't for you meddling idiots!
Bender: As I recall, you said that if my team won, which they did, you'd spare Fry's life...
Leela: Tell us where Fry is.
Klaus (looks at Leela): WOW! What a hot looking cyclops! I feel bad for almost having you killed! (chuckles) You're hotter than Francine! I'd do anything for this piece of ass....
Stan: Just tell there where the (beep) Fry is!
Klaus: Okay. He's in a quarters on the fourth floor of the prison. He's standing on top of a staircase about to go down a bottomless pit.
Leela: Show us there!
Klaus: OKay, just follow me..
Then Klaus uses his bowl as a wheelchair to show them to the quarters to the fourth floor. They use an elevator, and Klaus leads them to the room with the staircase and bottomless pit. Fry was on top of the staircase that was about to break. Fry's feet were stuck in a cement vat. Leela and Bender rushed up the stairs to save him.
Bender: Let's Go Already!
Fry was about to fall in, and Bender and Leela grabbed him just in time. Bender jumped over the pit, and Leela jumped off the staircase away from the bottomless pit to where Stan, Roger, and Klaus were.
Bender: Saved your ass, scrawny!
Fry: This is the 1000th time I've faced death. (sees Stan, Roger, and Klaus): Who are these people?
Stan: Stan Smith, CIA. Great to meet you, Fry. Hmmm, thought you'd be more fatter, Fry.
Fry: Well, I'm not. I only weigh 90 pounds. Where are you guys from?
Roger: We're from American Dad.
Klaus: I'm really the voice here, because I was pissed about being Roger's punching....
Stan: We don't want to hear you! Fry's talking now.
Fry: Is anyone going to get my feet out of this cement?
Leela: We will when we get home. We don't have the means to do it, now.
Fry: What's American Dad?
Bender (screams angerly): AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!! Why am I the only one who knows about American Dad!
Roger: We come on after Family Guy, dude.
Fry: I know about that show.....
Bender carried Fry out of the quarters and they were all headed back to the Planet Express ship.
Roger: Is it okay if we use your ship to get back to Earth?
Stan: Roger's ship broke down.
Leela: No problem. The Professor will build you a new spaceship with a time machine in it.
Right when they were about to exit the prison, All the Prisoners of Turkianna surrounded them.
Prisoners: We have stolen our Voice away from us!
Fry: Oh, no! We're doomed! What are we going to do?
Bender: You betrayed me, prisoners! Time to kick some ass!
Stan: Like the way you think, Bender!
Leela, Bender, Stan, and Roger all prepare to fight off the Prisoners. Fry and Klaus stand and watch.
Song: 3 Doors Down's Going Down In Flames plays
All the prisoners gathered around Bender, Leela, Fry, Stan, Roger, and Klaus.
Klaus: My minions! My minions!
Bender: Your minions? My football team turned against me!
Then Leela, Bender, Stan and Roger fought off the prisoners. More and more kept coming.
Fry: Yay! Yay! Go Leela! Go Bender! Get them for me!
Stan sees Leela punch and kick a prisoner with martial arts.
Leela: Hee-yah! Hee-yah!
Stan: Wow Leela! (kicks prisoner) Impressive fighting skills!
Leela: Thank you!
Stan: Even considered working for the CIA?
Leela: Actually I was an agent once. Fate assignment officer! Hee-ya! (hits and kicks prisoner) Used to give people jobs.
Stan: Give people jobs? (laughs) Suck on that, Obama!
Bender picks up Fry, and uses Fry's cement vat as a weapon to beat up the prisoners.
Fry: Wait, Bender! Stop!
Bender: I'm using a weapon of scrawny destruction! (laughs)
Roger: Look what we're doing to your empire, Klaus! (punches and kicks prisoners)
Klaus: Prisoners! Stop! I am your master!
The prisoners didn't listen. Then the prisoners kept coming in larger and larger numbers. Roger gets pissed and takes out the exploding football he was hiding in his mouth.
Roger: OKay, that's it! I'm done with this fight....
Stan: Isn't that the football Leela and Bender used.
Roger: Sure is! Stand back everyone! (throws football) I'm going to throw this football so hard, all those prisoners will fly in a million pieces!
Then the football explodes where the prisoners were causing a huge explosions. Some died, some got injured, and most had their clothes ripped off that it exposed their Tic Tac Toe underwear.
Klaus: NEIN! (sobs)
Roger: Like Cedric the Entertainer in A Haunted House, "Tic Tac Toe In Yo Face!" (laughs)
Bender: All right, Roger!
Everyone cheered for Roger.
Klaus: I'll never forgive you for this, ever! The revenge is coming, I swear that......
Stan (picks up Klaus): Shut the (beep) up!
Leela: Wow! Thanks for saving us there!
Roger: Ahhh, it was nothing! I'll never forget the time I saved a couple of guys, it was in a pool room!
Bender: You hang around in pool rooms, too? You should see them here in 3013!
Leela: Let's all go back to Earth, and get these characters back to their time. Whoever they are...
Bender: AGAIN! Why am I the only one who knows about American Dad?!?!?!?! (picks up a severed head) I may have some use for this!
Fry: Don't forget about my feet!
They all walk out of the prison and into the Planet Express ship. Leela flies the plane back to Earth and makes a call to the Professor to build a time machine.
Bender: So, what's 2013 like?
Stan: Terrible. Democrats took over, Hurricanes , murder trials, people who become celebritries for no reason, reality TV, economy recession, a black President......
Bender: We kind of have a recession, too.
Stan: Who's President in the year 3013?
Stan: No way, get out! You'll have to let me meet him!
Klaus: Oh, Leela! Will you stick your naughty little finger into mein bowl.
Leela: Get a life, loser.
Roger: It's so cool to be here in the future, I don't even have to wear a costume!
Bender: The Professor is building a time machine for you guys to get back, so while that's happening what do you say we hang around the sleezy joints for a while?!
Roger: Would I?
The PE Ship heads back to Earth, and Fry's feet still aren't out of the cemet vat. Bender and Roger hung around the sleeze joints and bars, and Leela shows Stan and Klaus around as well.
Scene 11 Conclusion:
Bender, Leela, Roger, Stan and Klaus all came back from being shown around New New York. Farnsworth was done building the time machine in a space ship that was an early model of the Planet Express ship.
Fry was back at Robot Arms apartments.
Roger: Wow! Those sleeze joints and bars were so cool! Who knew there's some for aliens and robots! I'd love to live here in the year 3013!
Stan: Yes, especially if Nixon is President!
Leela: People who were once dead get ressurected and their heads put in jars.
Bender: That's true. You all must come back one day!
Farnsworth (walks in): Good news, other characters from a TV Show I never heard of....
Bender (under his breath) Expect me....
Farnsworth: I built a time machine in this early model of the Planet Express ship.
Stan: Well, I guess this is goodbye.
Leela: Thank you for helping us back there in Turkianna!
Bender: Maybe someday our paths will meet again.
Stan: It was great having an adventure with you. But I must get back, before Francine gets insecure and Bullock rides me ass!
Roger (carries Klaus): You're going back, too!
Klaus: I'll never forgive you for this....
Stan, Roger, and Klaus all get inside the spaceship with the time machine inside.
Roger: Bender, you're the alien version of me!
Bender: You're the robot version of me! See you Sunday nights on FOX!
Leela: And you guys can come back to 3013 anytime you want!
Klaus: Don't forget, Leela! We have a date! (gets slapped) HEY!
Stan, Roger, and Klaus: Good Bye!
Roger flies the spaceship into the air as they all said their final goodbyes.
Stan: We'll tell Francine you ran away and me and Klaus had to find you.
Roger: Good deal. I'll miss that Bender....
Bender: Hope we'll meet them again someday.
Leela: I should start watching American Dad.
Bender: Damn skippy you should.
Later on, Bender was back in Robot Arms Apartments trying to get Fry's feet out of the cemet vat with a dynamite stick.
Fry: Dynamite? That could kill me.
Bender: Whatever is going to kill you, isn't going to kill me! Lewis Black said that, once.
Fry: Oh, Bender. Why do I keep getting captured and almost killed in death traps?
Bender: Put a cork in it scrawny! Me and Leela get captured and put in death traps too. I mean, what about all those superheroes you love so much? Superman, Batman, Spiderman, Wonder Woman, Indiana Jones, James Bond, they've all been captured and put in death traps and you don't hear them complaining!
Then a knock is heard at the door, and it's Off. Smitty and URL.
Off Smitty: We didn't forget you!
URL: Hand over that vase and DVDs!
Bender jumps out the window and Off. Smitty and URL chased him by doing the same which made Fry fall into a dumpster. Leela was where the dumpster was to help Fry get out. Bender was still being chased by the police and then he gets a severed head from a prisoner in Turkianna and extends his arm to them and moves the mouth like a puppet.
Bender (sings) Splish Splash! I was taking a bath!
Off, Smitty and URL both scream and fall into a pothole. Bender jumps over the pothole. Fry and Leela watch the whole thing.
Bender ( to the screen): And you though I'd get caught, didn't ya! (laughs) Bye! Have a beautiful time!
Fry and Leela: That's our Bender!