Spotlights showing on a stage.
VO: Here it is! For your viewing pleasure....... Trenton Sands's comeback fanfic! Enter The Ninja! And look for The Archno Spore Robot next week! The Replacement Delivery Crew will come in 2012! He got no recognition for American Dad fanfics on FicWad, so enjoy this new Futurama fanfic!
Enter The Ninja
Opening Credits Scene:
Forever In Debt To your Priceless Advice!
Screen: Porky Pig Cartoon
In deep space there was a planet that was white with a red spot in the middle
Caption: Sayonara: The Evil Ninja Planet
On that planet lived Ninjas. They all wore straw hats, sandals, masks, and blue suits. There was a sweatshop there that has 99 slaves. In need for one more. The leader is called The Shaman who's looking at earth via a viewscreen.
Shaman: Ahhh, I really like this Cisco or Skype or whatever it's called!
Ninja #1: Are you looking for another slave?
Shaman: Yes, I am. One from the Eastern Seaboard.
Ninja #2: Yes, mater. We already kidnapped some from Earth.
Ninja #3: (pointing to viewscreen): Look sir, why not him?
On the screen it shows Fry and Leela walking to Planet Express.
Shaman: Ahhh, soooo! Excellent!
Ninja #1: Should we get him now?
Shaman: No! Tommorow! We go to New New York! We have no one from there yet?
Ninja #2: Yes! We get him! And I know just how!
Ninja #3: Look how skinny he is! He'll be easy to capture!
Shaman: Tommorow, we capture skinny New New Yorker! He'll work in our sweatshop forever! (laughs evilly).
The next day, Fry was walking to Planet Express alone. Then once he entered he sees Farnworth, Hermes, Amy, and Zoidberg unbeknownst to him they are really ninjas in disguise.
Disguised Farnsworth: Bad news, Fry.
Fry: What is it?
Disguised Hermes: Leela has just been framed for a crime she didn't commit! It's first degree murder!
Fry: Oh, no! I mean, yes! Finally my fantasy where I'm the hero who has to save Leela has finally come true! I get to be Delivery Boy Man!
Disguised Zoidberg: Yes you do! Now you are the new spaceship captain!
Disguised Amy: Leela's going to get the electric chair and she's getting beaten by inmates by a daily basis!
Fry (Jumps onto a table): I will indeed accept this challange! I will clear Leela's name, I will free her from her......
Just then, the real Farnsworth, Hermes, Amy, and Zoidberg arrive.
Farnsworth: What are you talking about Fry?
Amy: You have fantasies about saving Leela? That's sexist.
Hermes: Women are equal to men in the future, you know that!
Fry (confused): Wait.....what? Why are you guys here when you're over.......Oh, snap.
Then the lights go out and Fry is subdued. Then the lights turn back on and the Ninjas from Sayonara reveal themselves.
Ninja #4: Ha! Ha! Fooled you!
Hermes, Amy, and Zoidberg try to stop the Ninjas but fail. One of the Ninjas threw his sowrd at Zoidberg's direction.
Ninja #5: BONZAI!
Zoidberg (jumps in mid air and his eyeballs jump out of his sockets): Holy *beep*!
Ninja #1: Now we take your friend back with us to Sayonara!
Ninja #2: We put him in bag!
Nina #3: He will be slave in our sweatshop!
The Six Ninjas walk away and into their spaceship that's shaped like sushi. Fry was in a bag.
Farnsworth (running away): You're on your own!
Hermes (Crying): Wish we could've helped him.
Amy (crying): I know *sob*. Let's call the police and Bender and Leela they'll know what to do.
Zoidberg: There's one thing I'm going to do.....
Hermes: What's that, Mr. Useless?
Zoidberg: I'm going to throw up and hide in a closet!
Hermes goes to call the police while Amy calls Leela and Bender.
Meanwhile at Leela's apartment, she got out of bed in her yellow nightgown and walked into her living room only to see Bender laying on her couch.
Leela: Bender! What the hell are you doing here?
Bender: Wanted some beer, didn't want to pay for it, so I came here.
Leela: Don't have any beer! I'm a social drinker. Why didn't you go rob a liquor store?
Bender: I assumed you had some! Anyway, I looked through your CD collection! You like Nirvana, Smashing Pumpkins, Bush, Korn, Audioslave, H.I.M., Linkin Park, AFI, System Of A Down, Stone Sour, Slipknot, Sonic Youth, Garbage and Pearl Jam! You also have some witchcraft stuff! Are you a goth?
Leela: Since you broke into my apartment, once I get dressed, you're going to give me a mani/pedi! Got it?
Bender: All right, fine! That nightgown makes you look like a rubber chicken! Yo chicken head! Yo chicken head!
Leela: Shut up, Bender!
Meanwhile Off. Smitty and URL were at Planet Express talking to Hermes and Amy.
Hermes: Ninjas disguised as us.
Amy: Then the lights went out and they abducted Fry.
Off. Smitty: Okay, we tracked down Bender, he's at Leela's apartment.
URL: They're going to be undercover cops. We've been after those Ninjas for years!
Hermes: Don't make us go, please!
Amy: Maybe it's better if we stay here!
Off. Smitty: You don't have to go, I understand.
URL: We'll take Leela and Bender with us. They'll help us take down that sweatshop!
Back at Leela's apartment, Bender got done painting Leela's fingernails, and now he's painting her toes.
Bender: You want this blackish green color! You are a goth!
Leela: Just do it!
Bender: Whatever you say, Nike!
When Bender got done painting Leela's toenails, a knock is heard at the door.
Off. Smitty: Open up! It's the police!
Bender: CRAP!! It's the fuzz! You ratted me out, Leela!
Leela: I did no such thing! (putting on her boots).
The door opens and it's Off. Smitty and URL.
Bender: You can't prove anything! (points to Leela) She sold me the drugs!
URL: Chillax! You're not under arrest! You two are chosen to be undercover cops.
Off. Smitty: Exactly! You two are going to help us take down a sweatshop in the planet Sayonara!
Leela: We'll do it! We'll take the Planet Express ship.
Bender: Say, where's that scrawny idiot, Fry? Did he rejoin the force?
URL: He's been kidnapped by the Ninjas who live in Sayonara. It's a low down dirty shame!
Bender and Leela go with Off. Smitty and URL to Planet Express and take off in the ship.
Hermes and Amy: Goodbye and Good luck.
Amy: You sound like Edward R. Murrow's head.
Hermes: It's my favorite movie.
Meanwhile on the Planet Sayonara, which looked like Japan in the 19th Century. At the sweatshop, a sedated Fry wakes up slowly in a cell. Fry is now wearing an opaque silk blouse, purple cordory pants, and MaryJane shoes.
Fry (coming to): Leelis Lane! Don't worry! Delivery Boy-Man's coming to untie you.....
Ninja #1: On your feet, you!
Fry wakes up and finds himself in a cell and a change of clothes.
Fry: What is this place? What do you want? What did you do to my red jacket and Levi's?
Ninja #1: Come at once! We show you to Shaman! That's your new uniform!
The Ninja lead Fry into a throne room where he meets the Shaman.
Ninja #1: Here he is, master!
Shaman: Good work. (looks at Fry) So, we bring you here so you can make surfer shirts for us!
Fry: You'll never get away with this. I have two friends. One is a beautiful cyclops and one is a......
Shaman: SILENCE! You have no more rights anymore. You don't own anything.
Shaman: Ahhh, good. Very submissive. Ninjas! Seize him and take him to sewing machine room. Chain him up!
Ninjas: Yes, master.
The Ninjas lead Fry into the sewing room and there he sees other men and women from other walks of life being forced to make clothes.
Ninja #2: Sit down.
Fry: Yes, sir.
The Ninjas then chained Fry's wrists and ankles and forced him to make shirts.
Ninja #1: As the master said, you make surfer shirts for us. You make some more Billibong, O'Neill, Quiksilver, and Rip Curl!
Fry tries to make the shirts the best he could, all the while the Ninjas were barking orders at him.
Ninja #1: Work faster!
Ninja #2: You fat, lazy, stupid!
Fry: I'm not fat! i'm skinny, lazy, and stupid! (pulls up his blouse to reveal is emaiciated body). See?
Ninja #2: Back to work!
Fry: Leela....Bender! Save me! Why me! Why me! Why can't this ever happen to Leela? Now I know how Eric Von Zipper felt in that Beach Blanket Bingo movie!
The Planet Express ship lands on Sayonara. Off. Smitty and URL disguise Bender and Leela as the Ninjas. They are also wearing wires.
Off Smitty: We'll give you instructions over the wires.
URL: Knock 'em dead. Break a leg!
Bender: We'll need code names! Leela and I will be Woodchuck, and you dudes will be Grey Squirrel!
Leela: No, I think 54 and Tango would be better.
Off. Smitty: I agree. 54 and Tango.
Bender: Dammit! I wanted to do some off collar comedy from In Living Color 3000!
Leela: Typical Bender. Always looking for a good time.
URL: Go now.
Bender and Leela approach the sweatshop and knock on the door.
Shaman: (answers the door): Ahhh, so!
Leela: We hear you're looking for a few good slaves!
Bender: Did you order a code red? (laughs), Well, anyway, it's been my dream to work in a sweatshop!
Shaman: You two look too strong to be slaves. Be slave drivers, instead!
Off. Smitty (over radio): 54 to Tango! Do any job they tell you.
Bender: Be happy to! Always wanted to be a slave driver.
The Shaman invited Leela and Bender inside and puts them to work. They are forced to yell at the slaves.
Leela: Work faster! (thinking) I don't feel right doing this. But it's to save Fry.
Bender: You call that fast? My Grandmother can make clothes faster than that!
After long hours of slave driving, Bender and Leela are called to kitchen duty.
Bender (over radio): We're doing kitchen duty. Can we reveal ourselves now?
URL (over radio): Not yet, we'll tell you when you can.
Leela (over radio): Yes, we're cooking food for the slaves now, we have to go. 10-4.
Off. Smitty (signing off): 10-4
Bender: Where's Elzar when you need him?
Leela, Bender, and the other Ninjas were making food for the slaves. Once they were done, the slaves were summoned to the cafeteria.
Ninja #2: Lunch break!
Fry: Good, I'm starving. I must be down to 85 pounds, now.
The Ninjas led the chained up Fry to the cafeteria to give him his meal. Bender and Leela watched in a distance.
Ninja #1: Here's your meal.
The Ninja opens the box and it's eyeballs from sea creatures. Also, some liver and intestines as well.
Bender: So that's what we were making!
Fry (gasps in horror): What is this?
Ninja #2: Eyeball stew! With a side of snake liver and frog intestines!
Ninja #3: Look! (picks up an eyeball): Delicious!
Bender starts discreetly cracking up.
Leela: Bender! Stop! You'll blow our cover!
Fry (sobbing): This is so gross! I want a Slurm and a pizza!
Ninja #3: YOU EAT EYEBALL STEW!
Ninja #4: Then you eat snake liver, and frog intestines.
Fry: Okay (tries to eat with chopsticks but fails).
Shaman: Halt! You!
Fry: Yes, what?
Shaman: You messed up our surfer shirts!
Fry: I'm sorry. I never made shirts before!
Shaman: Silence! You shall be punished! Ninjas!
Five of the Ninjas plus Bender and Leela still disguised as Ninjas arrive on order.
Shaman: Take prisoner to throne room. He shall be punished. You new ninjas, you must observe how we punish.
Bender and Leela both bow down in a stereotypically Asian fashion. Fry is dragged away to the throne room.
Fry: Bender! Leela! Help! Save me! I'm nothing without you! *sobs*
At the Throne Room, Fry is down on his knees, still chained, preparing to be punished.
Shaman: For messing up surfer shirts, you shall be whipped.
Bender: This reminds me of that Osirus 4 planet.
Shaman: New ninjas, observe.
Leela: Yes, master.
The Shaman takes a stick and twirls it around.
Bender discreetly cracked up and the Shaman stopped twirling the stick and started whipping Fry.
Fry (screaming in pain as he gets whipped).
Leela (thinking): Don't worry Fry. We'll get you out of this.
The Shaman was done whipping Fry, who now has a broken spine, the Ninjas tie him to a chair and send him down a trapdoor.
Bender: What did you do to him?
Ninja #3: We sent him to snake pit!
Ninja #4: Bermese Python will squeeze him.
Bender: Pythons, eh? Neat!
Everyone left the throne room.
Off. Smitty: 54 to Tango! 54 to Tango!
Leela: Yes, sir?
URL: Now's the time to reveal yourselves.
Bender: We'll do! Over and out!
Ninja #1: Okay, slave drivers, back to work!
Bender: You and your sweatshop and Bite my Shiny Metal Ass!
Ninja #2: Ahh, so, what?!?!?!?
Bender and Leela reveal themselves.
Leela: We worked undercover to take you down! To free these innocent earth people!
Ninja #4: Disobediance is not tolerated!
Ninja #5: We make you guys slaves, now!
Bender gets an energy drink out of his chest compartment, while Leela grabs a sledgehammer. The Ninjas run after them, then Bender finished tje drink and starts running at super fast speeds!
Bender: I am The Six Million Dollar Bionic Robot! Heeeeee-Haaaaaaa!!!!!
Song: White Stripes "Stop Breaking Down" plays.
Bender runs into the Ninjas one by one knocking them all out. Leela frees the prisoners and leads them to escape pods.
Leela: Okay, prisoners, you're free! Go back to the states of your origin!
Just then a Ninja was twirling his stick and comes after Leela.
Ninja #6: (kiaiing): This is what I call the Five Finger Death Punch!
Leela (hits Ninja over the head with a sledgehammer): I just made that up.
She picks up the energy drink can.
Leela (reads): 'May cause robots to run like Lee Majors in the Six Million Dollar Bionic Man". Glory mongering Bender.
Bender runs into all the ninjas and spins into a torando. Blowing them all away!
Bender (stops spinning and runs up to Leela): Isn't Bender the greatest or what?
Leela: More like what!
Off. Smitty: Great job!
URL: Now you must take down The Shaman!
Leela: Come on, Bender! We have no time to lose!
Bender: That Shaman's going to be chop suey!
Bender and Leela exit the sweatshop and see the Shaman is in the silo next to the building. They also see a holographic image of Fry.
Voice: Help me!
Leela: Look! It's Fry!
Bender: Don't worry, scrawny, I'll.......
They walk into it and realize it was a holographic image.
Leela: Son of a.......come on, let's go get the Shaman!
Bender and Leela break into the silo to battle the Shaman.
Shaman: Ahhh, soooo!
Bender: Gunsundeit! I'm here to squeeze the Shaman! Mr. Whipple won't be crying for you!
Leela: We're here to take you down! Ancient Ninja Secret!
Shaman: I'll get you!
An epic battle ensues. Bender and Leela got into an intense martial arts style fight. Bender and Leela beat up the Shaman and sometimes the Shaman overpowered them. Bender and Leela were both thrown up again a wall.
Leela: You kidnapped a helpless man, others to, so you can make them work for slave labor!
Bender: We're going to beat the crap out of you even if we have to go from hell and back to do it!
They continued to fight the Shaman and Bender and Leela overpowered him and vice versa.
Shaman (laughs evilly): You'll never get me! My sweatshop will go on forever!
Leela: The hell it will, I freed all the prisoners!
Bender: Damn straight! I killed all your ninjas!
Then the Shaman dove at them and they jumped back and the Shaman crashed into a window. The Shaman was blind all along.
Shaman: Can't see! Can't see!
Leela: Bender, I think we found his weakness.
Bender: Whatchu talkin' bout Leela?
Leela: Remember in Game of Death when Bruce Lee defeated Kareem Abdul-Jabar with light?
Bender: That's-a spicy meat-a-ball!
Leela: Stop quoting commercials from the 1970's and help me break the window!
Then Bender and Leela broke all the windows and the light was shining. The Shaman was defeated and he fell out of the window and plummetted to his death.
Leela and Bender (high fiving): We did it! Success! Success!
Off. Smitty: Congratulations on helping us take down this sweatshop!
URL: You two are now honorary policemen. You're both going to get funky metals! Awww, yeah!
Bender: Awesome! Between me and Leela there's nothing we can't do! Right, eyeclops? (slaps Leela on the back).
Leela: Ouch! Right!
They all hear Fry screaming for help and found he was in an outhouse being squeezed by a Burmese Python. Bender kills the python with a laser gun.
Scene 10 Conclusion:
Off. Smitty and URL enter the outshouse to see a bound and chained Fry.
Fry (breathes fearfully): Are you the cops?
Off. Smitty: You know we are.
Fry: Are you going to arrest me?
URL: No, you're the victim.
Off. Smitty: Philip J. Fry, you're a free man.
URL: Never to be a slave again.
Fry: Cool, dude. Are Leela and Bender here?
Off. Smitty: Yes, they helped us shut down this sweatshop.
Fry: Can you take me to them?
Leela: We're right here, Fry.
Fry: Leela! Bender! Is that really you?
Bender: No, it's John and Kate Gosselin! Of course it's us!
Off. Smitty: Careful, he has a back injury.
Leela unchained Fry's wrists and ankles, while Bender untied him.
URL and Smitty carry Fry into the Planet Express ship on a stretcher. Bender flies the ship back to Earth. Leela keeps an eye on Fry. In the back of the ship, Fry talks to Leela.
Fry: Oh, Leela. I don't know what I'd ever do without you.
Leela: Very sweet of you to say that.
Fry: Something I take you for granted. Like when I worked for Leo Wong when he built that golf course, or when I filmed your boil named Susan.
Leela: You were just following protocol. And I thanked you for Susan. In fact, I wanted you to film it. I don't even get her anymore.
Fry: And I acted like a sexist bastard when *sob* I did that Delivery Boy-Man comic strip and when we made you, Amy, and Labarbra pose for that calendar. I acted really cocky when I was a pilot when we tried to turn Planet Express into an airline. (cries uncontrollably)
Leela: Fry, it's okay. That's all water under the bridge now. I actually think anti-female jokes are funny. I never get offended by it.
Fry: Do me a favor, when we get home, tear up that Delivery Boy-Man comic strip. It's a constant reminder of what I'll never be.
Leela: Okay, if you really want me to.
Fry: That's okay with me. because I don't need to be a hero. Not as long as I have you and Bender to protect me.
Leela: You're a hero to me. In fact, as soon as you get better, we're going on a date!
Fry: You mean it?
Leela: Yes, I do.
Later that day, Mayor Poopenmeyer rewarded Leela and Bender with medals as Fry, Farnsworth, Amy, Hermes, and Zoidberg cheered them on. Fry was in a hoverchair.
Bender: Got a medal, baby! Hope my criminal record's expunged!
Leela: Fry should get a medal, too!
Mayor Poopenmeyer: Here's you medal, Fry. In a way, you helped take down that sweatshop, too!
Fry: Yay! I am a hero!
Farnsworth: Because of your back injury, you'll have to go to a truama center and be in a backbrace for six weeks.
Later on, Bender and Leela were talking Fry to the Truama Center. He was getting evaluated once they entered, then two orderlies come to take Fry to his room.
Bender: See you in six weeks, scrawny!
Leela: Don't forget our date!
Fry: Goodbye you guys. *sob*
Orderlies: You two better leave. No friends here.
Soon after Fry was in a backbrace for his broken spine. He was in bed in purple and green plaid pajamas and has a bumblebee Pillow Pet.
Fry: What kind of a place is this?
Just then a counseler walks in.
Man: Hello, there Philip.
Fry: Who are you? Why do you look like the guy in the Allstate commercials?
Haysbert: My name is Haybert Dennison. I am your truama counseler. Dennis Haysbert is my ancestor.
Fry: Are you going to strap me to the bed?
Haysbert: We don't do that stuff here. We help you work through your truama. Just want you to know you're in good heads.
Fry: Okay, where do I start? How do I adjust being away from Leela and Bender?
Haysbert: Let's start from the beginning. How did you get kidnapped?
Fry: Well, it all started when....
3 Weeks Later.
Haysbert: I must admit. I'm impressed with the progress you made, Philip.
Fry: Have you to thank for that, Mr. Dennison.
Haysbert: So far your back is getting better and you've accpeted what happened to you and what can you never be.
Fry: Still wish Leela and Bender could come see me. Leela promised me a date.
Haysbert: You know friends aren't allowed here, but....
Haysbert puts Fry in a hoverchair and leads him to a window.
Fry: But, what?
Haysbert: Why don't you take a look out the window over here? Be back tommorow.
Haysbert walks out of the room and Fry looks out the window and he sees Leela and Bender. They were 3 stories down from where Fry's room is.
Bender: Yo, scrawny! Do they serve beer there? Hermes and Amy have replaced you on missions!
Leela: Don't forget our date! Glad you're doing well, Fry!
Fry's eyes lit up as he saw them.
Fry: Bender and Leela! I've missed you so much! I'll be home in three weeks!
They continued to wave at each other until Bender and Leela went back to Planet Express.
Fry: You guys are my heroes. My saviors! (cries) Come visit me!