Futurama

Fan Fiction

Time Compression, Part 3
By Dwayne Anderson

Later, everyone was in the living room of Fry's home.

Mr. Fry: Fry, who are these people?

Fry: Well, the lobster man is Dr. Zoidberg. The one eyed mutant is my girlfriend Turanga Leela. And...

Mr. Fry: Hold on! What happened to Michelle?

Fry: She dumped me for some other guy.

Mrs. Fry: Oh that cruel girl.

Fry: The cute girl is Amy Wong, the African American is Hermes, the robot is my best buddy Bender.

Bender: I like to drink beer, lots of beer!

Mr. Fry: A robot drinks beer?

Bender: Bite my shiny metal ass, meatbag!

Fry: And the old man is my great great great great...

 

Fifteen minutes later...

Fry: ...great great nephew Hurbert Farnsworth.

By now, everyone is beginning to doze off.

Fry: I'm finished!

Everyone awoke.

Mrs Fry: How can this old man be your great great great...oh screw it, nephew?

Fry: I was cyrogenetically frozen for a thousand years.

Yancey: But you're back!

Farnsworth: It's due to Time Compression! All history has been collapsed to a single point!

Fry: This is great everybody! I'm back with my old family and we can catch up to the good old times! So mom, what's for supper?

Mrs. Fry: Every New Years Day since you disappeared, we would order out for Pizza from that pizzaria where you worked.

Fry: Is there any left?

Mrs Fry: It's in the fridge. There's only one slice of pepperoni and mushrooms left.

Fry: Do we have any anchovies?

Mr. Fry: What do you want anchovies for?

Fry: I like anchovies?

Zoidberg: Can I have some too?

Fry: If there's any left. Anybody else want some?

Leela: We'll pass.


Later, Fry finishes eating the pizza, which Zoidberg eats the remaining anchovies.

Zoidberg: More!

Fry: We don't have anymore. I'll have to go to the store to buy some more. Or, I could just order some more pizza with anchovies!

He picks up the phone and calls the pizzaria he worked at.


Later, a delivery boy shows up outside the house. When Fry opens the door, he's shocked to see his old boss, Mr. Pannuci.

Mr. Pannuci: Fry! You're back!

Fry: Yeah, I was gone, but now I'm back.

Mr. Pannuci gives Fry the pizza. Fry pays him.

Mr. Pannuci: Oh by the way Fry, you're five years late for work, so, you're fired.

Fry: I know.

Mr. Pannuci: How about a tip?

Fry: Floss every day.

He closes the door.


Minutes later, Fry and Zoidberg are enjoying their pizza.

Farnsworth comes into the kitchen.

Farnsworth: Fry! You've got to come into the living room! I've got something very important to say to everyone! This is an emergency!

Fry: Can't it wait? Me and Zoidberg are eating.

Farnsworth: Just bring the pizza with you you idiot!


Later, everyone is seated in the living room, including the Planet Express crew and Fry's family.

Farnsworth: Alright now, it's been about seventy two minutes since Time Compression begun. According to my calculations, we only have about one hour and forty eight minutes before the process is completed!

Fry (chowing down on another pizza slice): I'm confused.

Yancey's Wife: What exactly is Time Compression?

Farnsworth: Let me just make a drawing here on my blackboard, which unfortunately I left behind at the Planet Express building!

Yancey: Use paper you old geezer!

Mrs. Fry gives Farnsworth a piece of paper and a pen. Farnsworth sets them both down on the table.

Farnsworth: Gather round everybody.

Everyone gathers around the table.

Farnsworth writes three words on the paper: Past, Present, and Future.

Farnsworth: You see, time is consisted of three parts, the past, the present, and the future. Whoever this vile woman is who started the process, she came from the future. Our time period is the present. And Fry came from the past.

Fry (finishing another pizza slice): What exactly is my link to the past?

Farnsworth: For starters Fry, you were cyrogenetically frozen on the eve of the millenium for one thousand years, becoming unfrozen on the day before the eve of the next millenium. And plus you are your own grandfather!

Yancey: What are you talking about?!

Fry: It's a long story.

Mr. Fry: Save it for someone who cares.

Farnsworth begins to draw arrows on the paper. He draws one arrow from "Past" to "Present", and another arrow from "Present" to "Future".

Farnsworth: The flow of time is quite simple. What happens in the past, affects what will happen in the present, and what happens in the present, will affect life in the future. In fact, if the wheel had never been invented, the car would never be invented, and neither would anything else that uses the wheel. Well, actually, they would be invented, they just wouldn't run as well as they did with the wheel.

Fry: I'm still confused.

Zoidberg chows down another piece of pizza.

Farnsworth draws more arrows on the paper, connecting "Past" to "Future", "Future" to "Present", and "Present" to "Past".

Farnsworth: But due to Time Compression, the past, present, and future have merged together to become a single point in history. Things that have happened in the past are happening all over again. And everything that was to come in the future is happening before it was supposed to happen. The flow of time has become messed up. Normal reality can't survive this process. Unless we stop it, history will be frozen forever!

Fry: I don't follow.

Zoidberg eats the last pizza slice.

Farnsworth: Well, to make a long story short, all that is will no longer be, all that was has never been, and all that was to come...um uh...

Fry: Well?!

Bender: You call yourself a professor?

Farnsworth: All that was to come...help me out here somebody.

Leela: Will never happen!

Farnsworth: Exactly! I think.

Mr. Fry: We're in no mood for doubt you old geezer.

Bender: Question!

Farnsworth: Yes?

Bender: You're old and you smell funny. (laughs)

Fry: I still don't understand.

Farnsworth: To make a short story even shorter, the fabric of all reality will tear itself apart.

Fry: Huh?

Farnsworth: Oh for gosh sakes! To make a long story the shortest it can get...help me out here everyone.

Mrs. Fry: Armageddon!

Leela: Judgement Day!

Bender: The day I quit drinking!

Farnsworth: It will be the end of the world. There will be nothing left, except of course for a lifeless world, except for the one who started it all!

Amy: So what's the plan professor?

Farnsworth: The only way to resolve time itself and restore the flow of time, is to destroy the power of whoever started this whole mess!

Hermes: I got dibs on the first strike! Brace yourself Fry!

Fry screams in terror.

Leela: Hermes, I think the professor was talking about this vile woman, whoever she is?

Bender: Is she MOM?

Farnsworth: Who knows?

Leela: So let's go!

Fry: Good luck guys.

Amy: Fry we were hoping you'd come with us.

Fry: Huh?

Mrs. Fry: Phillip, you've got to go with your friends and save the world. It's for the best.

Fry: But, if we resolve time itself, you guys will be gone, and so will I, from your lives!

Mrs. Fry: But if your friends fail, it will be the end of the world.

Mr. Fry: And you'll be remembered as a coward! If there's anybody left!

Mrs. Fry: Honey!

Mr. Fry: What? Nothing Phillip ever did was good enough! He dropped out of college! And all he could ever become was a delivery boy!

Mrs. Fry: But he has wonderful friends, and a family that loves him.

Yancey: And a nephew of the same name.

Leela: Fry, please come with us. If history is frozen forever, there won't be a future for you, your family, us, or even one for you and me.

Fry finally makes up his mind.

Fry: Ok, you made your point. Let's go!


As the crew begin to leave, Fry's mother give a box wrapped in red christmas wrapping.

Mrs. Fry: Don't open it until you save the world.

Fry: Alright mom. Wish me luck! I'll make you proud. I promise!


Later, the crew was flying in their ship.

Leela: If we're going to fight this bitch, we're going to need weapons.

Bender: Where are we going to get weapons.

Hermes: How about "DOOP".

Amy: Yeah, I want to see Kif one last time, in case we don't succeed.

Leela: Alright, I'm taking us to "DOOP"


On board the DOOP headquarters, they meet Zapp Brannigan.

Zapp: Leela, I knew you'd come back to me! Give me some sugar baby!

Leela: Zapp, how can you think of sex at a time like this?!

Farnsworth: The world is going to end in slightly more than an hour!

Zapp: Well, when it does, I hope to do out in the missionary position.

Fry: Zapp, we need weapons to fight whoever started the Time Compression Process.

Zapp: I can supply you with what you need, but it'll cost you.

Leela: But we don't have any money.

Fry: I spent all my money ordering pizza.

Zapp: Well, you could pay me in time with me Leela, if you know what I mean. (purrs)

Leela: I'll make you a better offer Zapp! You give us weapons, and I promise not to pound your face into stewed beef!

Zapp (gulps, then smiles): Sounds fair enough.


Zapp leads them to the Weapons Chambers.

Zapp: We got the standard laser guns, and also, a mysterious new weapon appeared out of nowhere.

Fry and Leela turn to face each other.

Fry and Leela: Time Compression!

Zapp: It's amazing! It fires a green laser beam that can cut through paper. And when you push the button on top, it grows a blade made of green light.

Leela: So it becomes a lightsaber?

Fry: Just like in Star Wars?

Zapp: Yeah, something like that. We keep it in this glass case.

Fry walks up to the glass case. Inside is a silver laser pistol with a small red button on top.

Fry: How are we to use it if it's locked in glass?

Zapp: It's for protection.

Fry: I know what the gun is for! What's it doing in a glass case?

Zapp: The glass case is for protection.

Fry: Wouldn't the gun be better protection than a glass case?

Zapp: Yes, but that's not what I mean. It's there to protect it from someone who might want to steal it!

Fry is confused.

Fry: Why would someone want to steal a glass case?

Zapp slaps himself in the face.


Later, Fry and Leela, fully armed, with Fry carrying the silver laser pistol, are returning to the ship. Leela is carrying a crate of weapons.

They aren't looking where they're going and bump into someone.

Leela: Oops, sorry, please excuse me.

Leela notices a young man, about eighteen years old, dressed in a DOOP uniform. He has orange hair and one eye.

Fry: Who are you? We've never seen you before?

Man: I'm Turanga Fry.

Leela: Turanga Fry? Fry, he's got your last name and my first name!

T. Fry: I'm named after my parents. Phillip J. Fry, and Turanga Leela.

Fry and Leela are shocked.

Leela: What?!

Fry: Leela, we're talking to our son, brought from the future due to Time Compression!

Leela: I know. It's just hard to believe that he's standing before us!

T. Fry: I'm a new recruit.

Fry: I can see. How old are you?

T. Fry: Eighteen. Now if you'll excuse me, it's time for the captain's sponge bath. Normally that's Kif's job, but I'm the new recruit. Nice chatting with you mom and dad.

Turanga Fry walks off.

Leela: Well, let's return to the ship!


A few minutes later, Fry and Leela load the crate of weapons onto the ship.

Voice: Um, Amy?

Amy turns around.

Amy: Kif!

Kif: Leaving so soon?

Amy: We're off to save the world.

Kif: Amy, I was wondering. In case you don't succeed, I was wondering if...

Amy: Kif I'd love to! Come with us!

Kif: Huh? I meant for you to stay here with me.

Leela: It's better this way. You won'd have to be pushed around by Zapp Brannigan any more!

Kif thinks about it.

Kif: Alright, let's go.


Later, the ship is back on Earth. Leela is piloting the ship.

Farnsworth is checking the ship's computer, trying to find the location of the person who had started Time Compression.

Finally, the computer gave him the answer he was looking for. A map of the Earth's surface appeared on a grid. A red dot appeared somewhere in Russia, near the city of Moscow.

Farnsworth: Leela, head for Moscow!

Leela: Roger Professor.

Bender pours himself a drink.

Bender: In case we don't succeed, I'm gonna drink the whole bottle myself!

He chugs down the contents of the bottle.


Within minutes, the ship arrived at Moscow.

Leela: Amy, bring up the periscope! See if you can find something!

Amy peers through the periscope with Kif.

Kif: Oh my god! It's awful!

At the other end, she sees Zoidberg waving.

Amy: Zoidberg, get back in here! I can't see anything!

Zoidberg: Sorry.

Zoidberg opens the hatch on top of the ship and get in, closing it after he enters.

Kif: Wait? What's that!

Amy peers through the periscope again.

Fry peers through the ship's windshield. Leela does too.

In the distance, they see a large gothic castle floating in the sky, anchored to the land below.

Leela: Whoa!

Amy: That's what I call home improvement!

Fry: Strange, I feel like I've seen that before!

Amy: Wait! Something's coming this way!

Kif looks through the periscope.

Flying away from the castle and at the Planet Express ship, she sees a ferocios beast that resembles a black lion, with wings, red talons, and red horns on it's head. The fur on its chin was pale blue.

Kif: What the heck is that?!

Fry and Leela notice the flying beast.

Leela: It's coming this way!

Fry: And it looks awfully familiar! But I can't remember why!

Kif: Fire the ship's lasers!

Leela pushes the button. The Hi-Beams fire at the flying lion, which it quickly avoids. Then before Leela can react, the beast swipes its talons at the ship.

There was a mighty shake as the ship's hull was breached. The inside of the ship began to repeatedly blink red. Amy and Kif quickly climb down to the cockpit, but are knocked back by the shaking. Amy clings to Kif, who does the same.

Bender: What's going on?! That earthquake broke all my leftover beer bottles! Somebody's gonna pay for this!

The flying crosses its arms in an "X" shape. The ship is surrounded by ominous clouds. A bright shiny ball appears before the ship. It explodes with a bright flash of light, shattering the ship's windows. Fry and Leela are blown out the broken windshield, and caught by the beast.

As the flying lion carries them away to the castle it came from, Fry and Leela watch as the Planet Express ship crashes into the surrounding wastelands.

Luckily for Fry and Leela, they had their weapons tucked away in their clothes. Leela had a standard laser gun, while Fry had the silver laser pistol which could become a sword. Unfortunately, they were too terrified to use them now.

All they could do was watch helplessly as they were taken to the castle where their enemy awaited.

 

To be continued

Buddies