This Fan Fiction is the continuation of
"Galactic Agent Gal." It occurs right after Leela has
decided to become an Intelligence Officer with the Galactic
Intelligence Agency. It takes Leela through her initial training,
where she meets some friends she will have for the rest of her
life…however long that may be! It sets the stage for some rip
The year is 3005.
Opening Scene: The scene opens with the usual
exterior shot of the Planet Express building. The camera shot moves
inside. Leela, Fry, Amy, Bender, Zoidberg, and Hermes are at the
table. The Professor enters from the direction of the lab, waving a
piece of paper excitedly.
PROFESSOR: Good news everyone! We just won a
5-year contract to perform deliveries throughout seven galaxies!
HERMES: Great Judah of Bermuda! We did it?
AMY: (Exclaims in Cantonese)…Dude!
ZOIDBERG: Hooray, Zoidberg will eat!
BENDER: Who'd be stupid…I mean…smart
enough to give us a five-year contract?
PROFESSOR: Quiet, all of you! Our contract is
with Sigma Industries, owned by my old friend Ray. We made such a
good impression at the dedication of DOOP Headquarters that he
decided to award us a contract. This means that everyone can now draw
minimum wage. Oh my, yes.
ALL: Hooray! Yes! Woo-hoo!
HERMES: People, let's get back to the
meetin'. Item One, Leela, your application for vacation is
granted. See you in two weeks. Item Two, we have to spend the next
two weeks getting the Planet Express Ship up to code to get our
registration back after that little incident on the Dumbbell Planet,
so it won't be making any deliveries. Everyone else will be
involved in getting this place renovated to meet Sigma Industries
safety and security standards. (Hermes points to and then drops a 6
inch thick binder on the table with a loud thud.)
BENDER: Aw Crap! More work for the Robot. Well,
you can kiss my shiny metal ass! If it isn't bending, count me
FRY: No Fair! I want to go on vacation too!
(Pause) There is a certain somebody that I want to go visit on Mars.
HERMES: No way, Fry. With Leela gone, we will
need every hand we can get.
FRY: (Crossing arms and frowning.) Well, I get to
HERMES: OK, Fry. Put in your application soon.
BENDER: Hee-Hee-Hee. Fry's got a girlfriend.
Fry gives Bender a "drop dead"
AMY: Where are you going on vacation?
LEELA: Nowhere special, I'm just going to
visit my parents and some of my relatives.
AMY: (With a touch of disgust.) Spleesh! In the
LEELA: (Frowning.) Well Amy, not everyone can own
half a planet.
AMY: Spleesh! Somebody sure is
HERMES: Enough of the cat fighting, Amy…Leela.
PROFESSOR: (Sounding confused.) Cats…are
HERMES: (Sighs.) Let's get to work, people.
Everyone rises from the table.
SCENE ONE: The scene opens with Leela walking
down the street to her parents' house. She walks up to her
parents' door and uses a key to enter without knocking.
LEELA: Mom? Dad? Is anybody home?
MUNDA: (OC.) In the kitchen, honey!
Leela walks into the kitchen, where her mother
is busy cooking. Her mother stops working and gives Leela a hug.
MUNDA: It's good to see you, Leela. So,
how are things at work?
LEELA: Ok, I guess. (Pause) Mom, I'm going
to work with the GIA…the way you and dad used to. Ray asked
me last week. (Pause) I accepted.
MUNDA: Yes, honey, I know.
LEELA: How did you know?
MUNDA: (Smiling.) First lesson, a good IO never
LEELA: IO? What is that?
MUNDA: It's Agency slang for Intelligence
LEELA: (Smiling.) OK, fair enough.
(OC) MORRIS: So how's my little girl?
Leela turns to face her father. She smiles and
gives him a hug and a kiss on the cheek.
LEELA: I'm fine, dad. You look great.
MORRIS: Couldn't be better! Your mother
takes good care of me. (Stage Whispers to Leela) Of course, I get her
a birthday present on my birthday. A little bribery never
MUNDA: (Smiling) Morris, set the table, will you?
MORRIS: Yes, dear.
Morris moves into the dining room to begin
setting the table.
LEELA: Mom, will you and dad watch Nibbler for
me? I axed Fry to do it, but he is so…well…unreliable
MUNDA: Of course, sweetie. (Laughing) Nibbler
fits right in down here. Besides, he helps keep the flying pig
population in check. Your dad will go pick him up from your
apartment…you left the grate unlocked, right?
LEELA: (Rolling her eye.) Yes, Mom. (Pause.) Mom,
what do you know about Ray GunZ?
MUNDA: (Teasingly.) Nothing that you couldn't
look up in Glaxnars "Who's Who."
MUNDA: (Smiling.) Your father and I have known
Ray for 20 years. He is from Cygnus 12, the son of a Cygnian father
and a human mother. Both of his parents died, as did nearly all of
his people, during the chaos following the Brain Spawn attack on
Cygnus 12 in 2990. Ray appreciates talent…no matter where it
comes from or what form it takes. He is also extremely intelligent.
That makes him an easy person to work with.
LEELA: It sounds like you really admire him.
MUNDA: It is hard not to. Still, I think you
ought to form your own opinions.
LEELA: What do you know about his sister?
MUNDA: Virginia? That's a tough one. She
seems like a complete air head one moment. The next, she is
discussing complex quantum physics equations. She's very young
for a Cygnian to be "out in society" as they say,
she is only 20. Still, she is very tender hearted, polite, and
absolutely devoted to her brother. (Pauses and turns to look Leela
in the eye.) Does this line of questioning have anything to do with
the state dinner?
LEELA: (Emphatically.) No! Let's switch the
subject. Mom, do you know anything about the school I have to attend
for the next two weeks?
MUNDA: Second lesson, a good IO doesn't
discuss classified information in an unclassified environment.
(Pause) With a smile Munda touches Leela's cheek. I can
tell you that you will do fine, honey.
(OC) MORRIS: Munda, where are the glasses?
MUNDA: In the lower cabinet! (Pause.) Let's
go in and help your father finish. Honestly, men!
Leela and Munda exit the kitchen into the
SCENE TWO: Exterior Shot. Leela is
walking along a street in the sewers beneath New-New York, with a
note in one hand and a small overnight bag in the other. She appears
to be looking for an address. She pauses in front of a three story
Victorian Mansion. It is surrounded by a seven foot brick wall. The
grounds are well kept, by sewer standards. She enters through a
wrought iron gate. She approaches the front door and knocks.
VOICE FROM SPEAKER: State your business!
LEELA: Ray sent me.
VOICE: Wait, please. (Pause) Enter.
Leela enters and finds herself in a large entry
area with a stairway to her front, a corridor leading to the back of
the house, and closed doorways to the right and left. A
Horrible Gelatinous Blob (HGB) is standing at the foot of the steps.
HGB: You papers, please.
LEELA: Sure. (Hands them to the HGB).
HGB: (Examining the papers.) Everything is in
order, please follow me. (Noisily eats Leela's papers.)
Leela follows the HGB through the corridor to
the back of the house. They enter an office. Seated at the only
desk is a dead ringer for Bender when he became a human.
MAN: You must be Turanga Leela.
LEELA: That's me…and you are?
MAN: Call me Derby. Welcome to Safe House 451.
(Abruptly) While here, you will discontinue the use of your name.
Here you will be known as Solo.
DERBY: Security. (Takes a book off the desk and
hands it to Leela.) You will familiarize yourself with this handbook
by dinner tonight. It contains the rules and regulations. We do not
tolerate breaches of security, clear?
LEELA: (Frowning.) Clear, sir! But…
DERBY: (Holds up right hand) Save your questions
for later. There are five other students attending training with you.
You have two missions while you are here. The first is to absorb
everything that we teach you. The second is to learn as much about
your fellow students while revealing as little about yourself as
possible. You will be tested on both. Is that understood?
LEELA: Sure. (Muttering under her breath.) Jerk.
DERBY: You are dismissed.
Leela turns on her heel and exits the room. As
she leaves, the HGB follows her out.
(OC) HGB: Please follow me, Solo. I will show you
to your quarters. You are the first to arrive. The others are
scheduled to arrive tomorrow morning.
LEELA: (To herself) Just great! Another night
SCENE THREE: Day one. Leela is seated in a room
that has six seats arranged in a "U" shape. At the head
of the "U" are a podium and an electronic blackboard.
Leela chooses the seat at the tip of the "U" which allows
her a view of the door. Arriving early allows her to watch her
fellow students enter. HGB is already in the room, near the
HGB: Did you sleep well, Solo?
LEELA: (Distractedly) I'm sorry? What?
HGB: I asked if you slept well.
LEELA: Yes, thank you. (Pause. Looks closely at
HGB.) I never did catch your name.
HGB: That's because I never let it run
around loose. (Laughs.) Everyone calls me Higby.
At that moment, the next student enters the
room. He looks like a dark haired version of Zapp Brannigan,
although shorter and of a decidedly more muscular build. He is
wearing a dark suit with a light blue turtleneck. He looks at Leela,
nods politely, and sits in the seat opposite her at the other tip of
the "U." Following closely behind him is a Neptunian
female of average height, wearing a flame red dress with matching
shoes and accessories. She strides confidently across the room and
extends her lower left hand to Leela.
NEPTUNIAN: Hi! I'm Pisces. What's
PISCES: Well, um…er…Solo, it's
good to meet you. (Laughs.) I'm so excited! There is nothing I
like better than a good mystery. Excuse me, but I want to meet our
Pisces walks across to the man.
PISCES: Hello, I'm…
MAN: (With a slight Russian accent) Yes, Pisces…I
know, I heard you introduce yourself to Solo. I am Beethoven.
PISCES: (Laughs.) Beethoven…I thought he
BEETHOVEN: So he was. (Somewhat stiffly.) As you
can tell, I am not. It is pleasure to meet you, Pisces.
Just then, the other three students file into
the room. The first is a female, obviously from Amphibios Nine,
wearing a dark green jump suit. The second is a brown haired human
male, wearing blue jeans and a grey sweatshirt. The last in line is
an Omicronian male wearing a blue cape. He barely squeezes through
the doorway. Higby gestures them to hurry up and sit down. They
settle into the remaining chairs. The order of seating is Beethoven,
the female from Amphibios Nine, the human male, the Omicronian,
Pisces and Leela.
HIGBY: Welcome, students. Please rise and
AMPHIBIOS FEMALE: Gumby.
HUMAN MALE: Socket.
OMICRONIAN MALE: Tiny.
PISCES: Pisces. And I am just so glad to be here!
HIGBY: You have all received copies of the rules
and regulations? (Everyone nods) Excellent! Now, I'd like to
introduce you to our "headmaster," one of the most
successful operatives in our history…The Kraken.
The Kraken strides briskly into the room and
faces the students. She is a human female of average height, with
her brown hair worn in a bun. She is of athletic build, wearing a
dark pants suit that accentuates the fact. On her right cheek is a
small scar. Her hard, mirthless eyes briefly scan each face after
which she begins to speak in a low, modulated tone.
Kraken: (In a Scottish Brogue.) One thing we will
not waste here is time. From this point onwards, even your dream
time will be put to use. No bloody commercials in here! Your
instructors are all highly successful operatives…experts in
their own fields. Listen to them! You've each been selected
for your unique abilities. These two weeks are only the beginning of
your training. From here…if you pass…you will move on
to individual training that suits your future assignment in the
Agency. Remember…every moment of every day is a test. That is
Kraken turns on her heel and quickly leaves the
room, followed by Higby. Just as he leaves, Higby turns in the
HIGBY: Five minute break. Enjoy it!
Higby then leaves the room. There are a few
seconds of silence; everyone seems absorbed in their own thoughts.
SCENE FOUR: The scene begins with a montage of
short clips showing the students sitting in class, working out in a
gym, and sitting together in the dining room…talking. The
action picks up at the middle of the second week. The students are
sitting in the classroom, waiting for the instructor. Kraken walks
in and stands before the blackboard. Higby enters the room right
after Kraken, but remains near the door.
KRAKEN: Up until now, you have concentrated on
book learning. Now, it is time to start putting your basic skills
into practice. (Reaches into the podium and removes a series of
packets.) Here are your briefing folders. (Hands one to each
student) You will each conduct a short mission, which will conclude
with a face-to-face meeting with Higby, Derby, or me at a selected
location. Study your packets. Any questions…axe Higby. Your
missions begin in six hours. Good luck. That is all.
Kraken turns and leaves the room.
PISCES: I'm so excited, I could wet my
LEELA: (Wryly, with a smile.) Please don't,
you know I have the bunk below yours.
BEETHOVEN: Higby, are we permitted to study our
mission packets in our rooms?
HIGBY: Of course! You may study in your rooms, in
the library, or you may elect to remain here.
Beethoven stands up and exits the room.
TINY: I'm off for the library.
GUMBY: Me too.
SOCKET: I'm headed for my room.
Tiny, Socket, and Gumby exit.
PISCES: I'm going to our room, coming Solo?
The camera follows Leela and Pisces as they
walk to their room.
PISCES: I am so excited! What do you suppose we
will be doing?
LEELA: Oh Pi, nothing complicated or dangerous I'm
PISCES: I'm so nervous and I know it shows.
How do you stay so calm? I mean, nothing has fazed you in this whole
LEELA: (Shrugs her shoulders) Just born that way,
PISCES: They must be really brave on your home
planet. (Pause) I bet you are going to get to be a NOC.
LEELA: (Surprised.) What?
PISCES: You know, Non Official Cover. Only the
best get to be a NOC. You will probably get to work in the Special
Operations Directorate as well.
LEELA: (Laughs.) That's a tall order. We'll
probably spend our first few years doing menial tasks until they
decide we won't kill ourselves or compromise security in a
really big way.
Leela and Pisces walk for a short distance in
silence. They enter their room on the third floor. It has two bunk
beds, a couple of chests, and two computer desks facing away from
each other. It is easy to see which bunk, desk, and chest belongs
to whom. Leela's is immaculate. Pisces area is cluttered,
although not dirty.
PISCES: You know Solo, I never had a sister. If
I had, I'd want her to be like you.
LEELA: (Seriously) Pi, you know we need to keep
out identities out of this environment.
PISCES: (Sadly) Solo, I know I'll never pass
this course. (Brightening) But you will.
LEELA: (Fiercely) Pi, don't you ever say
that again! (Softening) Look, you may not become a NOC, but you are
good at making snap decisions and you have a real grasp of
technology. Plus, you are a Neptunian…and I overheard Derby
say to Higby that they need Neptunian operatives.
PISCES: (Smiling.) Well, if I make it, I want to
make it on my own merits…not just because I'm a
LEELA: You will. Now, let's "get
with the program" as Derby is so fond of saying.
PISCES: (Saluting with her right upper hand) Yes
SCENE FIVE: Exterior shot in New-New York.
Leela is walking down a busy street in upper Manhattan. She is
wearing a blue dress with matching shoes, a blonde wing, and a set of
sunglasses. She is also carrying a combination purse/backpack.
LEELA: (Muttering to herself) OK. Now that I'm
on my tail detection route, I need to see who's following me.
Leela continues to walk slowly down the street.
She then turns into a 711 Store. Once inside, she
browses for a few minutes. After selecting some gum, she walks to
the counter and positions herself where she can see out the front
window. "Nothing suspicious…so far," she thinks.
CLERK: That will be a dollar.
LEELA: OK. (Pays and places the gum in her purse)
Leela goes back onto the street and continues
to move with the crowd. Two blocks down, she enters a multi-story
department store. She walks up a staircase for two floors, using her
peripheral vision to check behind her as she turns at each landing.
On the second floor, she realizes that a man in a dark overcoat may
be following her.
LEELA: (To herself.) OK. I've got a tail.
Now I need to lose him. Remember…nothing flashy.
Leela looks at some ladies lingerie for a few
minutes and then takes the elevator to the ground floor. She leaves
the store on the side opposite from which she entered. Moving
quickly, she gets into a cab.
LEELA: Take me to the nearest Tube Station.
DRIVER: Whatever you say, Lady.
As the cab pulls into traffic, Leela uses her
compact mirror to look behind her and…sure enough…the
man in the overcoat is jumping into a late model hover car.
DRIVER: What? Is there some kind of problem?
LEELA: (Sounding frightened.) My ex-boyfriend is
following me. He is a real jerk. He just jumped into the black Hover
Car that pulled up just as we left.
DRIVER: (Looks into rear view mirror.) Yeah, I
sees him. You want I should lose him?
LEELA: Please, just don't do anything
DRIVER: Don't sweat it, Lady. (Gets
microphone form dashboard) Police Dispatch, this is Yellow Cab Six
Five Seven One calling with a suspicious vehicle report.
VOICE: Go ahead Yellow Cab.
DRIVER: Late Model Hover Car, black in color,
with a New-New York license plate Charlie Six Hotel One Two Oscar
Six. Three occupants. 100 meters south of my GPS location.
VOICE: Roger. I will dispatch a cruiser to check
The cab drives for a couple of blocks. The
black Hover Car is still following at a distance. Suddenly, three
police cars converge on the black Hover Car, blocking its path. The
cab makes an immediate left turn and speeds down a side street. Two
more turns and the cab stops at a Tube Station.
DRIVER: Will this do?
LEELA: Yes, and thank you.
DRIVER: That will be five bucks.
LEELA: (Handing him a 10.) Keep the change.
DRIVER: Thanks, Lady!
Leela stands beneath the tube.
LEELA: Cross town express.
SCENE SIX: Leela zips into the tube. For the
next hour she crisscrosses New-New York, making certain she has
shaken her tail. Once she is certain she strolls into Central Park.
Once inside, she heads into a public bathroom, emerging dressed in a
black jogging suit. She takes a narrow trail, jogging slowly with her
bag slung over her left shoulder. A man in a bright red jogging suit
approaches. As he gets closer, he shifts a blue wrist band from his
right to his left wrist.
LEELA: (under her breath) OK. That's the
signal. It's him. Now do it just like they taught you. A
brush pass is the easiest thing in the world if you keep your cool.
Just as the man gets within a few feet, Leela
appears to stumble. They brush against each other for a second.
LEELA: Excuse me.
The man continues jogging down the trail.
Leela jogs a short distance before she sits on a bench. After a
brief moment, she glances into her purse. She made both the pickup
and the delivery! A smile crosses her face. "Now I need to
get to my meeting." Getting up, Leela jogs to another public
bathroom a short way down the trail. When Leela emerges, she is
wearing her former outfit. Leaving the park, she heads for a tube
across the street.
LEELA: Little Neptune.
Once in Little Neptune, she heads for the "The
Flaming Slug" a small restaurant she spotted during her virtual
reconnaissance of her meeting spot. It is directly across the street
from her meeting spot, "The Second Moon Café."
Looking at her Wristamajigy Leela thinks, "Just one hour until
the meeting." She selects a seat at the window, where she can
see the street.
WAITER: Would you like a menu?
LEELA: I'm not very hungry. How about a
glass of Soylent Cola and some Slug Fritters?
WAITER: Spicy or regular?
WAITER: Very good, madam.
In a few minutes, the waiter brings her food.
Leela takes her time eating. She thinks, "The Slug Fritters
are pretty good here!" As inconspicuously as possible, Leela
keeps an eye on the time. "Think…how am I supposed to
conduct this meeting?" Her mind drifts to the class on
face-to-face meetings given by The Kraken.
SCENE SEVEN: The classroom. The Kraken is at
the electronic blackboard.
KRAKEN: Remember. Time is critical. Make sure
you get there in time to observe the meeting site for as long as you
can without standing out. See if anyone goons are watching.
PISCES: How long before the meeting should we get
KRAKEN: Use your judgment based on how busy the
area is and how much you stick out. Tiny, what sort of places would
you not fit in?
TINY: (Startled) Uh…anywhere you fit in, I
KRAKEN: (With a rare smile.) You mankey Omicronian
git! (Serious once again.) Socket, if you went to Omicron Persei
Eight, where would you select to have a face-to-face meeting?
SOCKET: Anywhere outworlders and Omicronians
mingling would not attract attention, I reckon…the spaceport,
certain public buildings, stores, and restaurants.
KRAKEN: Correct. Now, once you put the site under
surveillance…maintain it! Then, you need to make sure you are
on time. You have a four minute window to make contact. If you miss
it, go for the alternate meeting. But do not loiter about the area.
Clear off right away!
Leela snaps back into the present. Damn! How
had Derby managed to seat himself without her seeing him? There he
was, bigger than life. She looks at her watch…show time!
Rising, she pays the bill and crosses the street.
LEELA: (To Derby) Pardon me, but do you have a
DERBY: I don't smoke cigarettes, only
LEELA: Neither does your health any good.
DERBY: Pull up a chair, Solo.
LEELA: (Sits down.) So what is our story?
DERBY: You and I are meeting to discuss potential
employment with Sigma Industries. My name…as far as you are
concerned…is John Clark. I am a senior personnel executive.
This is your second interview. You heard about us on
Monstrosity.com. Got it?
LEELA. John Clark, senior personnel executive
with Sigma Industries. Second interview…but for what
DERBY: Right…Co-Pilot on the Lemuria. That
is enough chit chat. Well, do you have the package?
LEELA: Check your briefcase.
DERBY: (Looks down briefly. He sees that Leela
had already slipped the documents into his briefcase. The ghost of a
smile crosses his face.) Well done. Now it is time for the next part
of our exercise…your arrest.
Before Leela can react, a squad of six Agency
Copbots bursts from hiding around the Café. Leela
instinctively lashes out at the two closest Copbots. Using a
roundhouse kick, Leela knocks the first ones head completely off.
With an "iron fist" strike on the second, Leela smashes
through its front access panel. When her hand emerges from the
Copbot, it is holding a handful of wires and part of a motherboard.
The Copbot sputters and collapses. Before she can wheel, a third
Copbot hits her with a stun stick. Leela goes rigid, and then
collapses. As darkness overcomes her she thinks, "Did I screw
SCENE EIGHT: Interior of a poorly lit room.
There appears to be but a single lamp. Leela is handcuffed and
manacled to a chair directly below the lamp. She moans and begins to
VOICE FROM THE DARKNESS: What is your name? Why
were you meeting with that man?
LEELA: (Groggily.) Who are you? Where am I?
VOICE: You are in official custody. I will ask
you the questions. What is your name? Why were you meeting with
LEELA: (Remembering her training.) I've done
nothing wrong. I demand to speak to a lawyer.
VOICE: What is your name? Why were you meeting
LEELA: I refuse to answer any questions until I
can speak to my lawyer. Under what charge am I being detained?
A dark haired human male, wearing a dark
uniform, steps into the light. In his hand is a pain stick. He turns
it on and presses it against Leela. There is a loud zapping sound.
LEELA: (Screams.) You jerkwad! Use of those
things is illegal! I demand to see a lawyer!
MAN: That was set at level one. Would you care to
try level ten?
LEELA: Why are you doing this? I've done
The man clicks the pain stick to a higher
MAN: What is your name? Why were you meeting that
LEELA: I told you, I've done nothing wrong.
Without a word, the man presses the pain stick
against Leela. A loud zap, and she slumps over unconscious.
After a few seconds, Leela begins to stir again.
MAN: That was setting seven. Would you like a
higher setting? I repeat, what is your name? Who was that man you
were meeting with?
LEELA: My name is Leela Solo. I was meeting with a
Mr. Clark about a job offer.
MAN: Progress! Of course, I already knew your
name. It was on the papers in your purse. What was the man's
real name? We know he is from the GIA.
LEELA: GIA? What's that?
MAN: Don't play stupid with me. I want the
truth! What is his real name? Why were you meeting with him?
LEELA: I don't know what you are talking
about! (Firmly) I demand to see a lawyer.
MAN: I think not.
The man adjusts the setting and presses the
pain stick against Leela again. Again, there is a loud zap. Leela
passes out once again.
SCENE NINE: Leela is lying on her bunk.
Pisces is hovering over her, looking into her face. Leela's eye
flutters and then opens.
PISCES: Solo, how are you?
LEELA: Pi! What are you doing here?
PISCES: I'm back from my mission.
LEELA: (Looks around.) How did I get here?
PISCES: Derby and Higby brought you in an hour
ago. You were unconscious. They told me to keep an eye on you.
LEELA: (Tears forming in her eye.) I think I blew
PISCES: (Emphatically.) Nonsense! I overheard The
Kraken say to Derby that you did a "rum job." It sounded
like that was something good.
There is a knock at the door.
PISCES: I'll get it.
Pisces opens the door, revealing Gumby
GUMBY: How's Solo doing?
PISCES: She's awake. You want to come in?
TINY: Sure. (Pause.) Hey, Solo. (Grins.) So the
sleeper is awake! How are you feeling?
LEELA: (Sitting up and smiling.) Like I was run
over by a Hover Truck!
TINY: Really? I got run into by an Earthican
Hover Car once. I got a bruise on my ass and the Hover Car was
GUMBY: Well Solo, Derby wants to see you.
LEELA: Great. Time to face the music.
Leela gets out of bed and heads down to Derby's
office. She stands in front of the door for a few seconds, takes a
deep breath, and then knocks.
(OC) DERBY: Enter.
Leela enters the office.
LEELA: You wanted to see me, Sir?
DERBY: Have a seat, Solo. As you know, we
normally wait until the end of the full two weeks before making any
decisions on our students. However, in your case, The Kraken has
decided to make an exception.
LEELA: (Dejectedly) I understand.
DERBY: Do you? The Kraken has recommended…with
the concurrence of all of your instructors…that you be
assigned to the Special Operations Directorate as a NOC.
LEELA: (Astonished.) But I got arrested…I
DERBY: (With a brief smile) No, Solo. That was
all part of the exercise. You performed superbly…except for
destroying two of our Copbots. However, given the scenario, your
resistance was justified. So, congratulations.
LEELA: Thank you, sir.
DERBY: Keep this to yourself until graduation
tomorrow. You are dismissed.
Leela stands and leaves the office.
SCENE TEN: Graduation! The class is gathered
in the dining room. At the head of the table is The Kraken.
Starting at her right are Derby, Leela, Beethoven, Gumby, Tiny,
Socket, Pisces, and Higby. The Kraken rises and begins to speak.
KRAKEN: (In her usual low, modulated tone.) You
may feel that the past two weeks have been a bit difficult. Well,
you haven't seen anything yet. Still, I ‘ken that you
will all do well. On the whole, this is the best class I've
had come through here in years. Before I introduce our guest
speaker, there is a final exercise. Each student will now give their
impression of the student seated to their right. Solo, why don't
LEELA: Okay. Beethoven is from an elite military
organization…probably some kind of Special Forces. He is from
Eastern Europe…possibly Russia. He is an only child as are
all of the others in our class except Socket…who comes from a
large family. Beethoven's skills are hand-to-hand combat with
edged weapons, communications, and using kind of fire arm.
KRAKEN: (Smiling) A minus, Solo.
BEETHOVEN: Gumby is a former student with some
military training. Her race is from Amphibios 9, of course. She
prefers to finesse problems rather than use brute force. I never
heard her discuss her family. Her math skills are first rate as are
her lock-picking capabilities.
KRAKEN: B plus, Beethoven.
GUMBY: (Smiling while looking at Tiny) Tiny is an
Omicronian…Duh! He is an only child. His family is part of
the Omicronian Nobility. He has traveled extensively and enjoys
trying new foods. He is stronger than a Bending Robot. He can also
use a form of thermal vision at night. And, he is very empathic.
KRAKEN: A minus, Gumby. Well done.
TINY: (Gruffly) I am not empathic! Socket is a
genius with anything mechanical or electrical. Although, I do not
think he has ever been to college. He always finished any of that
kind of training well before the rest of us. He has numerous
siblings…but (sounding confused) for some reason he refuses to
eat them. He is from the Southern part of North America. His wise
grandmother, who he calls "Granny," apparently said a
great many things like, "dead as a beaver hat" and
"wantin' ain't getting'."
KRAKEN: A plus, Tiny. (Laughs) You blatherskite!
SOCKET: Pisces is the friendliest gal I believe
I've ever met. She could be a Southern gal, but she isn't.
Her people are from Neptune, but she was raised in England and the
United States. She has an ability to tinker that is just stomp down
amazing. If I was a betting man, I'd bet she hold at least
three graduate degrees…even though she can't be more
than 22 to 24 years old. I believe she is an only child that was
raised by her father…I can't say why…but I
believe it anyway. She also grew up around the GIA. She knew too
much about how this outfit works and she speaks the lingo too danged
KRAKEN: Unless Pisces outdoes you, I believe you
hold the laurels for this engagement, Socket.
PISCES: Solo is well-organized, caring, and a bit
opinionated. (Becoming emotional) Hers is the best friendship that I
have ever formed in so short a time. Solo is a leader…someone
who is going to go far. She is skilled at almost everything we do.
Nothing fazes her. She has lived on Earth all her life. I do not know
where her people originate, but they must be a race of heroes. She
has traveled widely, probably as part of a spaceship crew.
KRAKEN: Well done, Pisces. You get an A. Now,
I'd like to give you your initial assignments. Socket and
Pisces, you are assigned to the Science and Technology Directorate.
Solo, Tiny, and Beethoven…you are assigned to the Special
Operations Directorate. Gumby, you are assigned to the
Counterintelligence Directorate. I can see from you faces that you
need time to absorb the news. Unfortunately, there is no time for
that. Our guest speaker has arrived. Please welcome Dr. Kew, our
Director of Science and Technology.
The camera focuses Dr. Kew, a tall,
bespectacled Neptunian male with snow white hair. He is wearing a
white lab coat, with all the trimmings. He strides to the podium.
DR KEW: (Tapping Microphone) (Speaking with a
slight English accent) Is this thing on? (Kraken nods) Right. Newest
agents of the GIA, welcome to the family. I call you family because
we must be a family or we will perish. You are entering a noble
profession, one which will help protect our Galaxy from our enemies.
As the head of Science and Technology, which we call "S &
T," I pledge that we will do everything to equip you with the
best equipment to help you do that job safely. As you leave you will
be issued the new GIA Mark XII Wristamajigy. Please, pay attention
to the briefing on how to use it! You do not want to accidentally
activate the Neutron Laser in a crowded area. (Looking
uncomfortable) I am not much on long speeches. Good luck out there.
(Smiling) Now, let's get on with the task of issuing each of
you a Mark XII.
FINAL SCENE: The Planet Express Crew is
gathered around the conference table, except for Leela. Then, Leela
walks into the room.
FRY: Leela! How did your vacation go?
AMY: Something looks different, were you working
LEELA: Well, there wasn't much else to do.
AMY: You got a new Wristamajigy! It looks like
the latest fashion. Leela, I'm surprised…you never
cared about fashion before!
Leela gives Amy an irritated look.
HERMES: People, we need to start the meeting.
Item One, Fry's application for vacation next week is approved.
During Fry's vacation, we will have to hire a temporary
BENDER: Just great! Now I'll have to break
in a new sausage link!
HERMES: Item Two, somebody has been getting rid of
the owls around here, apparently by eating them.
ZOIDBERG: Hooray, Zoidberg is useful!
HERMES: So it's you, you windy barnacle!
Make sure you put the bones in the trash from now on.
ZOIDBERG: Oh the trash, right!
Suddenly, the Professor comes from the
direction of the lab…obviously excited.
PROFESSOR: Good news everyone!
PROFESSOR: We have a delivery of waffle irons to
the Batter Planet.
LEELA: Professor, how are we supposed to land?
There is no solid land.
PROFESSOR: What?? Oh, that's what you get
paid to figure out. Stop bothering me!
HERMES: Well, people. Let's get busy.
The crew rises and heads for the PE Ship.