Futurama

Fan Fiction

The Odd Couple
By Frosty

[Everyone was waiting in the conference room for the professor one morning. Saying that he had a big announcement, everyone kept wondering what it was. Finally, he came in and took his seat. After not saying anything Leela spoke.]

Leela: Uh, Professor?

Professor: Yes?

Leela: You said you had an announcement?

Professor: Oh my yes!

[When he didn’t add anything else, Leela spoke again.]

Leela: Professor?

Professor: Oh right! The announcement! It seems that some of my collagues are coming tonight for a dinner party, I’m apparently throwing. But I need one more person to act as another Professor so it seems like I have more friends than,

[He paused and his face became hard]

Professor: (angry) Wernstrom!

Hermes: Who’s the professor going to be?

Professor: I’m going to pick a name out of this hat. Then who ever gets the role as the professor, has to pick someone to play their guest.

[He reached into the hat and pulled out a slip of paper.]

Professor: Now, the person who will be playing the professor is….Fry!

[Fry cheered and everyone stared.]

Bender: Fry? A professor? Hahaha!

Fry: Hey, I can be smart!

[Everyone paused and then stared laughing. Fry hung his head down and Leela put a hand on his shoulder. She was the only one not laughing.]

Professor: You’re right, I’ll pick some one else.

Leela: Professor, Fry can do it. I’ll be his guest and help him.

[He thought about it for a second and finally shook his head.]

Professor: Alright, but if you mess this up, I’ll have you both fired!

Fry: We wont let you down professor.

Professor: You better not. Now for today’s delivery, you’ll be going to Helios 9, a planet who’s surface temperature is the closet to the suns. Enjoy!

[Once the meeting was over, Fry, Leela, and Bender got on the ship for their delivery. The ship was on auto pilot, Leela and Fry went down to the kitchen and sat at the table.]

Leela: Okay, first thing, what’s you’re name?

Fry: Leela, it’s Fry. You should know that.

Leela: No, I mean what’s you’re characters name gonna be?

Fry: Oh, uh- how about Jeremy Wilson? PHD.

Leela: Great, then I’ll be you’re wife Ashley Smith. We’ve been married 8 years and I didn’t take your last name.

Fry: That’s fine, because you converted for me.

Leela: Oh, that’s good.

[She wrote down what they had so far and looked back up.]

Leela: So what do you do?

Fry: Uh, I’m the head of the Political Science department at Harvard.

Leela: Political Science? You should be a Economics professor.

Fry: What? No, I get to make my own background story.

Leela: Alright fine, if you want to waste your life with political science.

Fry: God, you sound just like your mother.

[They both started laughing and Leela continued writing everything down.]

Leela: Okay, then I’ll say we grew up in North Carolina, were childhood friends, went our separate ways for college, then we met again when we were on a both on a trip to England. We’ve been together ever since.

Fry: Wow, this is easier than I thought.

Leela: What else should we have?

Fry: Well, I think that’s fine for now. If they ask anything we’ll just make it up on the spot.

Leela: Okay, I guess we’re good then. But for the rest of the day I’m going to call your Jeremy and you call me Ashley, just so we get use to it.

Fry: Alright, (pause) Ashley.

Leela: Come on Jeremy, lets get back up to the bridge.

[They walked up to the bridge and found Bender sitting on the couch.]

Bender: Look, it’s the “Professor” and…who are you gonna be?

Leela: Bender, this is my husband Professor Jeremy Wilson.

Fry: And this is my wife Ashley Smith.

Bender: Wait, you’re gonna be married?

[They shook their heads and Bender fell on the floor laughing.]

Bender: That’s the best thing I’ve ever heard! I cant wait to see how this turns out!

[Fry glared at him and Leela sighed, shaking her head. They sat in their regular seats and Fry threw a beer can at Bender to make him shut up.]

Fry: Here, now just be quiet.

[Leela saw that they were getting closer to the planet and turned to Bender.]

Leela: Bender, go deliver the package.

Bender: Why cant professor meat bag do it?

Leela: Because he’ll be burned to death!

Bender: Alright, I’ll do it.

[He left the room and Fry saw Leela crack her knuckles. After looking down at her hands, she looked at Fry.]

Fry: What?

Leela: What about wedding rings?

Fry: Huh?

Leela: If we’re married, then where are our rings?

[He thought about it for a second and looked back at Leela.]

Leela: I guess we can pretend we’re dating or engaged and you’re waiting on the ring but-

Fry: I know what we can do.

Leela: You do?

[He shook his head nervously.]

Fry: Hold on.

[He went into his cabin and came back out with a small box in his hand. Handing it to Leela, she opened it and her eye went wide.]

Leela: Oh my God, Fry, are these-

Fry: Yes. Our rings from the time slips.

[She took hers out of the box and stared at it.]

Fry: I just couldn’t get rid of them.

[Leela handed her ring back to Fry and held out her left hand. He slipped the ring on her finger and Leela took his ring. After putting it on him, she held his hands and smiled.]

Leela: Would you like to kiss the bride?

[Fry smiled and their lips got closer. Inches apart, they could hear each others heat beating faster.]

Bender: (OS) Ew! Gross!

[They pulled away and saw Bender standing in the doorway. He sat down and looked at them.]

Bender: What?

Leela: Nothing. Lets just go home and get ready for tonight.

[Before Fry pulled away completely, Leela gave him a peck on the cheek. He sat down and Leela started the ship.]

[Once they were back at Planet Express, they saw that the observatory had been set up and everything was ready. The professor had a old box of wigs in the attic that he brought down for Fry and Leela. They were looking through it and Fry pulled out a short brown wig. Putting it on, Leela found him a small soul patch and put that on his chin.]

Fry: How does it look?

Leela: Great, now, how does this look on me?

[She put on a long blond wig that came down to her middle back. Fry moved a strand out of her face and smiled.]

Fry: Beautiful.

[She blushed and turned her head. Seeing a pair of glasses, she put them on Fry.]

Leela: There, now you look like a professor. Now, I want you to go home, change and meet me at my apartment in about 30 minutes.

Fry: Alright, I’ll be there.

[He walked out the door and heard Leela call after him.]

Leela: Bye Jeremy!

[He laughed and turned his head.]

Fry: Bye Ashley.

[He walked back to the apartment and took the elevator upstairs. Once in his room, he looked through his closet. Finding a pair of black dress pants, a beige blazer, and a white shirt, he showered and put them on along with his wig and glasses. Getting his black tie, he put that on and looked at himself in the mirror.]

Fry: Who is that guy?

[He chuckled and turned around. He kept the Ronco Record Vault in his room with things from his parents house. Opening it, he took out his dad’s watch. Yancey Sr. received it from his dad when he entered the army, and so on. Fry found it in his house and decided to keep it. He decided against wearing it, and instead pulled out his grandpa’s WWII pin. Putting it on his lapel, he walked out the door and saw Bender standing there. Dropping his beer, Bender pointed at him.]

Bender: Who are you and what are you doing in my apartment?!

[Fry chuckled and adjusted his glasses.]

Fry: I’m Jeremy Wilson, PHD in Political Science at Harvard.

[Bender realized it was Fry and relaxed.]

Bender: Wow, nice job meat bag.

Fry: Thanks, I’ll see you later though, I gotta get to Leela’s- I mean Ashley’s.

[Fry walked out the door and made his way to Leela’s.]

[Leela was sitting in her chair with a silky red dress on. Nothing too revealing, after all she was married, right? Her blond hair was hanging over her shoulders and she had red lipstick that matched her dress. Looking down at the ring on her finger, she thought about how strange it felt. There was a knock at the door and she got up.]

Leela: Who is it?

Fry: It’s Jeremy.

[She opened the door and looked at the man standing in front of her. She couldn’t believe it was Fry.]

Leela: Wow, you look different.

Fry: So do you, in a good way of course. But I like Leela better.

[She laughed and reached for her coat.]

Leela: Ready?

Fry: Yes, lets go.

[He offered her his arm and she looped hers in his]

[They arrived at Planet Express and stood in the observatory with the Professor.]

Professor: Now, who are you suppose to be?

Fry: I’m Jeremy Wilson, PHD in Political Science at Harvard University.

Leela: And I’m his wife Ashley Smith.

Professor: If you’re married, then why aren’t your names the same?

Leela: I didn’t take his name.

Professor: And you allowed this?

Fry: She converted for me.

Professor: Okay, but remember, your jobs are on the line.

[The door bell rang and the Professor left the room.]

Fry: Are you ready?

Leela: Yeah, just, let me fix your tie.

[She tighten it and smoothed out his shirt. Their eye(s) met and Fry started to lean in closer. Their lips brushed lightly when there was a voice.]

Professor: (OS) Jeremy, Amanda!

[They pulled back and looked at the Professor walking in with 7 others.]


[Fry and Leela were standing with three other professors talking.]

Leela: We’ve been married for 8 years.

Woman: Oh how nice, any kids?

Fry: No, not now.

Woman: Lucky you.

[They all laughed and Leela patted Fry’s arm.]

Leela: Jeremy, why don’t you go get us drinks?

Fry: I’ll be right back.

[Fry walked over to the bar that Hermes was tending.]

Hermes: (whisper) How’s it going so far?

Fry: Pretty good. We just have to be careful.

[Hermes handed him two drinks and Fry walked back over to Leela. The man pointed at Fry’s pin on his lapel.]

Man: Is that from the 20th century?

Fry: Yes, it is. From World War II.

Leela: He got it when we were in England, he was attending a Economics lecture at Oxford.

[Fry spit out his drink and Leela looked at him. Smiling, he took Leela’s arm.]

Fry: Can I talk to you for a minute?

Leela: Sure, excuse us.

[They walked out of ear shot from the group and Leela turned to look at Fry.]

Leela: What?

Fry: I told you, I’m a political scientist.

Leela: Oh, right. Well, now you’re a Economic professor. It’s been established.

[She walked back to the group and Fry followed. He looked at one of the younger female professors.]

Fry: I’m sorry, I don’t believe we’ve met. I’m Jeremy Wilson.

Woman: I’m Katylin Mills. PHD in creative writing at Mars U.

Fry: So, tell me Katylin, what do you weigh? 100? 105? Around there?

Katylin: (sketchy) Yeah, I guess about that.

Fry: Oh, my wife use to be that weight.

[Leela turned her head and glared at Fry.]

Leela: Let’s not be rude professor.

Fry: I’m just telling the attractive girl you use to look good.

[He turned his attention back to Katylin.]

Fry: That was until she was in rehab.

Leela: I wasn’t in rehab!

Fry: Yes you were, (under breath) it’s been established.

[She took pin from her dress and poked him in the back. He jumped and looked back at her.]

Leela: Will you excuse us?

Katylin: Oh, please.

[Leela dragged Fry across the room and out the door. Pinning him up against the wall she smacked him.]

Leela: (hushed) What the hell are you doing?

Fry: (hushed) What? You said I was an economics professor!

Leela: You said I was in rehab!

[They didn’t say anything and Leela shook her head.]

Leela: Lets just try to survive the rest of the evening.

Fry: Fine.

[They went back inside, smiles on.]

[Hours went by and Fry was sitting in a chair while Leela sat between two professors. She had a few too many drinks and was now slurring her words.]

Leela: (slurring) And the 4th guy I should of married instead of Jeremy was Steven Schmitt. He had a yacht! And a back bone.

Fry: You’re boring everyone with your pointless rambling honey.

Leela: (slurring) Fix me another drink Jeremy.

Fry: Yes dear, what every you want.

[He walked over to Hermes and got another martini. Turning around he looked back at Leela.]

Fry: Ashley wears a hair piece.

[The others looked at her, and she glared at him.]

Fry: Yep, worse case of female baldness the doctors had ever seen.

Leela: Well, maybe if you studied medicine instead of Economics you could of helped me.

[Fry sat down and put his hand up.]

Fry: Don’t go there.

Leela: No, come on professor. Tell them about all the economic lectures you’ve been to. Discussing economics, with all the economics people!

[Fry sighed and took off his glasses. Getting a handkerchief out of his pocket, he cleaned his glasses, then putting them back on, he folded his arms and sighed again. After not saying anything, he looked at Leela.]

Fry: (pause) Tell them how you killed our baby Ashley.

[They all gasped.]

Leela: Jeremy no!

Fry: Terrible, terrible tragedy. Ashley was drunk, of course, and she wasn’t watching the pool. We were at a hotel where I was attending a conference, discussing, what was it dear? Economics?!

[The group looked at Leela who was glaring at Fry.]

Fry: I wanted to have another kid, but because of her syphilis-

Leela: You bastard!

[She jumped from her seat and tackled Fry to the floor.]

Fry: Ahh!


[Fry and Leela were sitting on the couch in the observatory, their disguises off. Everything around them was destroyed and all the guest were gone. Fry had a black eye, his nose was bloody, and his lip was swollen. Leela had a cut on her cheek and her dress was ripped. Fry turned his head to Leela, and she did the same.]

Leela: Do you think…that the baby couldn’t have to drown in the pool?

Fry: No, you left the gate open, and she sank like a rock. You now have to live with that for the rest of your life.

[Leela took the handkerchief out of Fry’s pocket and wiped his nose.]

Fry: I’m so sorry.

Leela: I’m sorry too. We both went a little crazy. I’m sorry I didn’t stick to the story and listed 4 other men I should of married instead of you.

Fry: I’m sorry I said that you went to rehab, (pause) and that you’re bald, (pause) and that you have syphilis, (pause) and that you killed our baby.

Leela: Yeah that was a little extreme.

[He saw Leela rub her arms as a gust of wind came in the room. He put his jacket around her shoulders and wiped her cheek with the handkerchief. The door opened and the Professor came in, Leela looked at Fry, both knowing they were about to be fired.]

Professor: Well, I hope your happy with yourselves.

[They hung their heads low.]

Professor: No, I really hope your happy. That was the best party any of those professors had ever been to. In fact, I want you two to come up with some more crazy characters and come to all my conferences and banquets. They really liven up the party. Plus you’re both getting raises now, and I’ll pay you for every party.

[He left and Leela looked at Fry.]

Fry: Wow, I thought we were out of a job.

Leela; I know.

[She took Fry’s hand and put her head on his shoulder.]

Leela: Do you think, that we could try to be a real couple? You know, not as Jeremy and Ashley, but as Fry and Leela?

Fry: Really?

Leela: Really.

[She looked up and gave him a small kiss on the lips. She smiled and Fry did the same.]

Fry: One condition though.

Leela: What?

Fry: I get to be "Fry".

[She laughed and Fry stood.]

Fry: Can I walk you home?

Leela: Of course.

[They walked out of Planet Express, holding hands.]

Buddies