Fan Fiction

The Leelazarus Effect, part 6
By SoylentOrange

Leela was livid. Damn Hermes and his bureaucracy. She’d been flying the company ship for years now and it was still flying. Sure, there’d been a few mishaps involving city billboards, but that was small stuff. There was no reason to send her off to do some bogus driving exam, mandated by the government or otherwise.

“I mean, it’s not like Hermes hasn’t ignored the rules before.” She grumbled. “He just fills out one of those ‘ignore the rules’ forms or whatever, and the problem just goes away.”

Leela reached her hovercar. Shifting her purse to her left shoulder she reached down and pressed her thumb against a small sensor on the door. The car beeped and unlocked itself. Leela climbed in. She was just about to put the key in the ignition when something caught her eye. There was a folded piece of paper sitting in the seat next to her.

“That’s weird.” She said aloud. She picked up the paper and unfolded it, mentally crossing her fingers that it wasn’t another letter from Fry expressing his true feelings.

It did turn out to be a letter, but it wasn’t in Fry’s messy chicken scratch. Actually, it looked like it was her handwriting, but that didn’t make sense. She hadn’t left a letter there.

Curious, Leela began to read:

Dear Leela:

Look in your glove compartment. There’s something in there that might help out with the driving test. It’s a little present from the future. But be careful. It takes a long time to recharge and it can really screw things up if you let it. Trust me, I know. Only use it to pass the test; then put it and this note where and when you found them. And just so you don’t think this is some kind of joke: Once back when you were at the orphanarium you got so mad at Warden Vogel for canceling Double Soup Tuesday that you switched his coffee with Andarian mammary juice. You know you never told anyone that. Good luck with the test. You won’t need it.



P.S.: Be nicer to Fry. You owe him one.

Leela stared at the note, not sure what to think. It couldn’t be a joke. She had never told anyone about her childish revenge on the warden, the very memory of which made her shudder. The poor man had been ill for weeks. But, since no one else knew about the prank, then that meant… Leela opened her glove box. A small pistol-like device tumbled out into her hands. She regarded it for a moment, looked around her, and tucked it into her purse. Shaking her head, Leela put the key in the hovercar’s ignition and pulled out of her parking spot.

Across the street, the author of the note was watching the retreating hovercar over the top of her newspaper. When the vehicle disappeared around the corner, Leela dropped the newspaper on the bench she was sitting on, stood up, and stretched. She wondered idly what would happen when her past self managed to pass the test. Once the other Leela sent the time device into the past, she, the Leela on the bench, would find herself cut off from history entirely. “Will I feel myself fade out of existence?” She wondered. It didn’t matter. The universe was safe. She’d done her job.

Leela walked into the Planet Express Building just as Fry was landing the Planet Express Ship. She stood at the railing on the hangar’s second floor and waved at him. The delivery boy waved back from the ship’s bridge. A moment later the engine noise died away and Fry came trotting down the ship’s staircase. By the time he had made it to the conference room, he was out of breath.

“So, how did the test go?” He asked between gasps. “It didn’t take you very long.”

Leela smiled at him and patted a bulge in her purse with her left hand. “It went fine.” She said. “And you’re right, it didn’t take me very long. Only four tries.”

“Four tries?” Fry asked, cocking his head. “You were only gone a few hours. You had enough time to take the test four times?”

“A few hours huh?” Leela smiled mysteriously. “Funny. It seemed to me like I had all the time in the world.”