Futurama

Fan Fiction

The Leelaven
By DSS

A parody of Edgar Allen Poe's Poem, The Raven, with Leela as the Raven.


One midnight dreary while I pondered weak and weary,over many a quaint and curious volume of Forgotten Space Lore. I nodded,almost napping. Then,without warning,there was a tapping at the door as if rapping at my Cabin door...

Kif: That's some visitor here to see me--

...I muttered in a tired tone...

Kif: --knocking at my Cabin door, only that and nothing else.

Oh,yes. It was a bleak December in New New York and each separate dying ember wrought its ghost on the wooden floor. I was eagerly wishing for the morrow. I had sought to borrow from my novels and other text books surcease of sorrow:The sorrow for the loss of my beloved Amy...

Kif: (sobbing)Oh sweet Amy.

...For the rare and radiant Chinese maiden whom the Earth angels named Amy,nameless here forevermore. Then the curtains of my windows thrilled me,filled me with fears never felt before. I kept on saying...

Kif: That's a visitor at the door and nothing eles!

...Then my soul grew stronger. Hesitating then no longer...

Kif: Sir?

...I said...

Kif: Or madam? Truly your forgiveness I implore. But I was resting and you came and knocking at my Cabin door,that I scarce was sure I heard you.

...Dare I open that door?! Darkness there,and nothing else! Back into my Cabin turning,all my soul in me burning,then I heard 5 more knocks that were more LOUDER than before!...

Kif: Surely...

...I said...

Kif: ...that was some space rocks hitting my window. Let me see what that was---.

...I opened the window wide when,with many a flirt and flutter,a one-eyed Leelaven of the saintly days of yore. Not the least obeisance made she,not a minute stopped she,but with mein of lord or lady,perched above a bust of Pallas just above my Cabin door and sat and nothing eles.

Kif: (chuckles) Though that crest be shorn and shaven,---

...I said...

Kif: ---sure no Leelaven wandering in the ship somehow. So tell me:what is your name there?

...The Leelaven says:

Leelaven: Nevermore and always shall be.

...Then the air grew denser and denser,perfumed by an unseen perfumertron swung by the angels whose footfalls tinkled on the ground...

Kif: New Wretch!

...I cried...

Kif: Space God had sent these angels he had sent them from my many memories of Amy! Quaff! Oh, quaff this kind of nepenthe and forget this lost Amy!

...Again the Leelaven says:

Leelaven: Nevermore and always shall be.

Kif: Goddamn it! Be them dreaded words our sign of parting,space bird or fiend!

...I shrieked loudly...

Kif: Get back outside to thy outdoor world! Leave no damn plume as a token of the lie the soul has spoken! LEAVE MY LONLINESS UNBROKEN! QUIT THAT BUST ABOVE MY DOOR! TAKE THAT BEAK FROM OUT MY HEART AND TAKE THAT FORM FROM OFF MY DOOR!!!

...and once again...

Leelaven: Nevermore and always shall be.

...And the Leelaven,never flitting,still is sitting-STILL IS SITTING-on the pallid bust of Pallas just above my Cabin door. And her one eye has the seeming of a demon that is dreaming. And the lamplight o'er her streaming throws her shadow on the floor. And my soul from out that dreaded that lies floating on the floor.....SHALL BE LIFTED.....NEVERMORE AND ALWAYS SHALL BE!

THE END

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