Futurama

Fan Fiction

The Fry-borg
By Luis Gonzales

Fry's mind was racing that evening with the usual thoughts about winning Leela's heart, even more so after seeing her all week, he couldn't keep this up or he'll wind up in an insane asylum (hopefully for humans this time) and he was sure as hell he tried everything that was on his mind right now

FRY: (Thinking) I've moved the stars, I've sacrificed my own life, I tried being more responsible, maybe this is really hopeless and I am just wasting my time, but I can't stop trying, not after all that I feel for her… wait, what about the professor's inventions, maybe there IS something I haven't tried before…

BENDER : Hey skintube, I'm talking to you!

FRY: (Suddenly stirring from his thoughts) Wha.. oh yes that's… what were you saying?

BENDER : Jeez, I'm buying this time and I don't do this very often and you don't even listen to me

FRY : Yes you're right I'm sorry, and you even helped me search for those 200 bucks that I lost in the apartment, you're a real friend…

BENDER : YES, YOU LOST YOUR MONEY, and we didn't find it yeah… right…

FRY : (suddenly glaring at bender) HEY, how come you are buying 'em this time…

BENDER : … hey want another one?

FRY : … Okay.

BENDER : (Thinking) sucker.

As the clock turns and a dozen more beers are gulped down by a slightly depressed Fry, we jump to planet express to see a shadowy figure with 1 eye enter the ship and power it up as a really drunk Fry enters the building.

LEELA : Damn, what the hell is he doing here at this time of the night… Might as well go now, he looks so drunk that he'd probably see me with TWO eyes.

Leela opens the hangar and takes off as a startled fry looks up to the sky…

FRY: (Drunk) That looks like the PE ship… nah I'm probably just seeing things.

Fry enters the building colliding with some things on the way as he goes to the professors lab. Stepping into the small room, Fry thinks about using the what if machine, then he remembers that HE has to figure out HIMSELF what to ask the machine in order to see the outcome he wants. He then thinks about using the mind re-programmer to make himself more "Leela friendly", but then remembers that it never worked right from the start…

FRY : (Drunk and a bit angry) What a pile of crap, none of this things ever work right.

Fry kicks a strange looking device which hits a wall… and goes right thru it, revealing a secret room behind the fake wall, the room looks like a mixture between a modern looking factory and a surgical ward, with shiny metallic walls and strange looking equipment, laser cutters and control consoles are fixed on the right side of the room, a vat filled with a liquid of some sort in the center of the room. A still drunk Fry walks into the room rather confused and surprised.

FRY : This place looks strange… and it smells like overkill too.

As Fry walks near a console it suddenly powers up showing a nibblonian face we are all familiar with…

NIBBLER : Greetings Fry, do you remember me. You should, as the effects of the mind eraser are useless against your brainwave pattern.

FRY : (scared) AHHH!!, Wait, then that means that I wasn't dreaming it… I did save the world… YAHOOO!!

NIBBLER : (Annoyed) Yes, you did, but you were barely able to do so as you aren't as skillful as we thought you'd be.

FRY : (Childish) I saved the world!, I'm a hero, I'm a savior, I…

NIBBLER : (Interrupting Fry) are you quite done?

FRY : (Serious) Wait…(Childish again) I'm the one!, I RULE!, IN YOUR FACE YANCY!… Okay, I'm done.

NIBBLER : Listen to me, as the message I am delivering is of utmost importance.

FRY : (Serious) Ok, ok I'll listen…

NIBBLER : When you first fought the dreaded brain swarm, you won only because of the initial protection by your guardian…

FRY : (Puzzled) My guardian?

NIBBLER : Silence!, as I was saying it was your guardian that surpassed our expectations and enabled you to defeat the brain swarm, but alas, you can't always depend on it and we have a strict policy of non interference so we can't directly protect you, that's why this place exists.

FRY : (Surprised) So I'm supposed to live here to be safe from danger!? It doesn't even…

NIBBLER : (Interrupting) No… This place exists in your mind only, it's a representation of an earth laboratory. since you can't understand nibblonian technology, we placed this image in your mind.

FRY : (Confused) What?

NIBBLER : Never mind, let's just say this is a "Training facility", now step into the vat in the center of the room.

As nibbler says this the liquid from the vat quickly drains and a hatch opens in it with a quiet hiss. Fry was a bit scared but for some reason he obeyed and walked into it, the hatch quickly closed behind him and it slowly started filling with liquid again as a terrified fry pounded on it's walls.

NIBBLER : Don't be afraid, you won't feel a thing, and no one will ever know what it'll do to you, not even yourself.

FRY : Wait!, Stop this!! What do you mea…

Fry didn't finish that sentence as he was soon floating unconscious in the liquid filled vat, which started to move towards the machinery where it disappeared, from our point of view we see sparks and eerie lights flickering from the hole in the wall that the professors device punched trough as it closes down…


The scene changes as we join Leela in the PE ship flying at high speed trough a canyon in a jungle like planet, being followed close by a series of ships, all of them alike the PE ship except for one that is curiously familiar…

LUKE : (Thinking) USE THE FORCE LUKE…

Just then Luke's X-wing does a barrel roll dodging a set of falling rocks as the PE ship dashes by… knocking it out of course and smashing it in one of the canyon's walls.

LEELA : (Grinning) And they said I could never fly with one eye (Sarcastically) TAKE THAT JEDI BOY!!!.

Leela then starts maneuvering trough rock arches, hugging the canyon walls at high speed then passing within inches of the ground and then rising again, doing a roll and ending upside-down as she avoids a low section of the canyon, speeds up some more and leaves behind a couple of ships that were ahead of her, flames going out of the exhaust, overall a pretty hectic scene.

As we zoom out we see a goal scarcely marked by a couple of flares and the PE ship crossing it first… realizing how Leela can pay for her own apartment, nibbler's food and expensive accessories (One eye glasses are really expensive) on a budget salary.

LEELA : (Stepping out of the ship with a grin on her face) Anyone else here want to loose some cash LOSERS!!!

RACER : Sheesh, you are such a LOUSY WINNER!

LEELA : just shut up and give me my money.

RACER : Right, right, here it is… IF YOU CATCH ME YA ONE-EYED MENACE!

LEELA : SIGH. Why does this always happen?

As the racer starts running Leela jumps in front of him, grabbing him by the collar and throwing him to the side of the ship, the guy practically soils himself, drops the money and runs off.

LEELA : (Sarcastically) What's the matter, suddenly afraid of girls YOU CHICKENSHIT!!!.

Then Leela happily boards the ship and takes off heading for Earth and the PE hangar. As she is sitting in the captains seat she happily counts her money as a strain of thought suddenly hits…

LEELA : (Thinking) Well that was easy, I just hope Fry is not there when I come back, I don't want the professor to know that I "borrow" the ship at night and use it a little freely, he may want a cut of the profit.

Then another part of Leela's mind jumps in…

LEELA : Fry would not tell him if we asked him not to

LEELA : Since when does he listen to anything I say!?.

LEELA : You know he worships the filth you step on when we walk, he'd give his vital organs if it made us happy.

LEELA : (Annoyed) That's because he's a moron, and shut up!, I'm in control, you don't know what you are talking about.

LEELA : Yeah…Right…whatever, it's your choice to be miserably lonely.

LEELA : Just shut up!.

AUTOPILOT : Approaching landing site, manual control required.

LEELA : Well lets cross fingers and hope that no one sees me.

The planet express ship lands perfectly, then Leela walks out of it and out of the building undetected.


The scene changes as we enter Bender's apartment and see Fry sleeping in his bed.

FRY : (Wakes up) AAAHHHH!!!… It… Was… Just a…

BENDER : WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU MEATBAG, YOU ALMOST FRIED MY HEARING CIRCUITS!!!.

FRY : (Embarrassed) I just… had a weird nightmare, that's all

BENDER : Well if you're finished with your stupid human needs, we got to get to work

FRY : Why are you so responsible all of a sudden?

BENDER : It's 10:30, I'm not responsible, I'm saving my shiny metal ass, and you better do that too, cause I'm not gonna live with a worthless bum who lives on what he steals from ME!, THAT'S MY JOB!.

FRY : Okay, okay, I'm coming

BENDER : Whatever.

Fry and Bender then take the tubes to the Planet Express building. When they enter they are confronted by an angry Leela.

LEELA : FRY, THIS IS THE LAST STRAW!, I HAD TO DO A DELIVERY BY MYSELF!, YOU ARE THE DELIVERY BOY, I'M THE CAPTAIN AND I'LL KICK YOUR SORRY ASS IF YOU DO THAT EVER AGAIN!!!

FRY : (Suave) You know, you are very stressed. You know what takes your mind off stress?

LEELA : (Walks close to Fry and says) GETTING EVEN!!!

Leela tries to spin-kick Fry, but Fry catches her foot in the air and twists it making Leela spin and land on her hands, she then kick's Fry in the chest but Fry doesn't even react and pulls her leg making her loose her balance and fall to the floor, she then rolls back and assumes a fighting stance and tries to punch him in the face, Fry grabs her arm, twists it and quickly puts it behind her, making her do a little spin jump and land on her legs, she then pulls Fry's arm trying to make him fall but Fry does a small jump and swipes Leela off her feet (not the romantic way) making her fall on her back.

Suddenly they stop, both being surprised and a little scared at this exhibition of skill from Fry.

LEELA : (Surprised) WHAT THE HELL!?

FRY : HOW did I do THAT!!??

BENDER : Who cares, now that you can kick Leela's ass we won't have to work anymore.

LEELA : (Annoyed) SHUT UP BENDER! (Worried) Maybe Fry got the worms again. Say Fry, what do you think about the philosophy of the existentialism?.

FRY : (Smiling nervously) Huh… it exists?…

LEELA : … We better get Farnsworth to check you.

FRY : Yeah. This kind of freaks me out you know.


A while later in the professors lab…

FARNSWORTH : Well, to be sure this test will be conclusive I will need to run this machine first

LEELA : What's that coffee maker got to do with the worms?

FARNSWORTH : Huh… ah yes, oh my… what did you say?

LEELA: The worms professor.

FARNSWORTH : What? That's nonsense, why would I want worms in my coffee?

LEELA : No, they are in Fry.

FARNSWORTH : Well, if Fry did not want worms in his coffee then he shouldn't have put them in.

LEELA : SIGH

FARNSWORTH : As I was saying, Fry hasn't anything strange except with the lack of the delta brainwave.

LEELA : So he doesn't have the worms again?

FARNSWORTH : There you go again, if you want those worms so much go ahead and pour yourself a cup of coffee from the lounge. Zoidberg put worms in the machine so you should get the taste of them.

At this moment, Amy and Hermes spat out their morning coffee and sprayed it all over Bender, who was casually seated in the couch, watching "All My Circuits".

CALCULON: I DID NOT BI-PROCESS WITH THAT FEM-BOT YOUR HONOR.

JUDGE : THAT'S FOR CONGRESS TO DECIDE MR. PRESIDENT.

FRY: Hmmm, that's familiar…

LEELA : But if Fry doesn't have the worms again, how come he's good at fighting all of a sudden?

FRY : Maybe it was a fluke.

LEELA : Hmmm…

Leela then grabs one of the professor's tools… and throws it to Fry, which quickly kicks it in mid air and falls to his feet in a fighting stance not dissimilar to Leela's.

FRY : Hey I am starting to like this

LEELA : Don't get so cocky now, you're not that good… plus even if you are that's about all that you CAN do well…

FRY : (Depressed) Aww.

BENDER : (From couch) So now that that the skintube here is terribly affected by this surprise, we can't work like this…

HERMES : (Wiping his chin with his sleeve) Oh no you don't, we 'ave lot'sa deliveries so ya hafta work, now GO!

Fry and Bender go to the ship to start loading the crates into the ship as Leela stays behind in the meeting room with Amy.

AMY : (Sly) You know, now that Fry is quicker and stronger there are a thing or two he should be better at if you know what I mean…

LEELA : (Annoyed) You're such a slut Amy

AMY : Oh aren't we touchy today? Maybe you are mad because there's finally some ass around here you can't kick.

LEELA : (Sarcastic) Yeah… right…

AMY : Face it, you're no longer the toughest person around here and you know it

LEELA : Fry might be better now, but he'll never beat me, I'll fight him again and you'll see.

AMY : Maybe…

Leela then walks to the ship and yells to Fry.

LEELA : Fry! Your ass! The training sim! At 12:00! TODAY!.

FRY : (Scared) Can't we reconsider… please…

LEELA : NO!.


That night… Leela (who's pride was hurt) glares at Fry, who sighs as a dead man walking and walks to the training room along with Leela and Amy. Meanwhile Bender gets a beer out of his comparment and guzzles it the way a rifle guzzles bullets, as a hopeless Fry walks ahead of him, a bit shaky about his internal organs… if any remain after the fight. At this point, they all get in the room and sit around- minus Leela and Fry who are standing on the mat. Leela is eyeing Fry, and Fry is looking at the floor, shaking his head in despair and fear.

BENDER : (To Fry) Time to kick ass buddy…(He walks to Amy)

FRY : (Nervous) Thanks pal.

BENDER : (To Amy) Fifty buck's says Leela breaks at least 35 of Fry's bones

AMY : You're on!.

FRY : (Sarcastically) Thanks pal!.

LEELA : (Thinking) This is gonna be easy, I'll just punch Fry, He'll fall unconscious and we'll be back to normal… I just hope I don't have to hurt him too much…

FRY : (Thinking) I'm dead meat. If I fight maybe I'll hurt her, and I'd rather kill myself than do that, but if I don't then death will be nice compared to what Leela will do to me… and even if I fight, I'll probably be beaten to a bloody pulp by the woman I love… why do you do this Leela?… Can't you see that I really love you?…

Leela then cracks her knuckles as Fry stands in front of her in a laughable fighting stance, shaking in fear as she starts towards him

FRY : Please stop this, I don't want to die, and I don't want to hurt you…

Leela then punches Fry hard in the face, and he falls to the ground just as Leela planned… but then he gets back up and assumes a good fighting stance as Leela stares in disbelief. Something clicks in Fry's head and he sees red as Leela punches him once more, this time he only turns his face and straightens it quickly (Think Terminator), Fry then punches Leela in the stomach 3 times quickly as he jumps and kicks her in the same place. But Leela quickly recovers and starts to take the fight to him…

LEELA : (Mad) YOU ASKED FOR IT FRY!!!.

However Fry is in a trance-like state and doesn't pay any attention to her words as she jumps up and tries to kick him, But he also jumps up and to the side, catching her chest with his elbow and grabbing her by the shoulder, spinning in the air so that he'll land on top of Leela as she hits the mat with her back, rolling back into position and kicking Fry in the jaw. Fry recovers as if nothing happened and runs toward Leela, grabbing her by the throat and lifting her up in the air, then he throws her into a wall. As she is recovering Fry runs at her again and grabs her by the throat again, lifting her back onto her feet. Leela breaks free and punches him on the side but Fry is unaffected and kicks her in the stomach, lifting her up in the air and the he punches her in the chest, slamming her between a wall and his fist. As Leela slumps against the wall, he grabs her again by the throat and prepares to punch her in the face with all his newfound strength… when he notices her shallow breathing and pain contorting her face…her scared expression… he loosens his grip on her and his knees bend as he collapses into the ground sobbing and crying.

FRY : (Sad and scared) Oh… I'm so sorry Leela… So…So… sorry…I'M SUCH A JERK! AN IDIOT!!!

Leela then realizes the stupidity of her pride, partly because she realized she was on the loosing end of the fight, but mostly because she felt guilty by seeing Fry like that. She stops the fight and walks close to Fry…

LEELA : (Guilty) Fry…

FRY : I promised myself I'd never hurt you but…I…

LEELA : It's okay Fry, It was me and my stupid Pride who got the blame for this fight…You didn't want to, and I shouldn't have pushed you to do it.

We turn to see Amy crying and Bender slowly and quietly walking away, hoping that Amy didn't notice winning the bet…and missing her wallet.

AMY : (Shouting angrily) YOU TWO LOVE EACH OTHER, STOP PLAYING "ICY BITCH AND STUPID MORON" I HAVE TO WATCH THIS EVERYDAY AND I'M TIRED! I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU CAN STAND IT!.(She then runs off to the door crying and cursing in Chinese).

FRY : I know I can't… Leela… I… gotta go (he also runs off holding back the tears, leaving Leela alone).

LEELA : (Thinking) Why do I do this? Fry is at least my best friend…

Another part of Leela's mind interjected

LEELA : Your best friend? Oh you gotta be kidding me!

LEELA : What do you mean?

LEELA : Oh you know what I mean, if he were more mature, more responsible, and had better taste, he'd need to beat us off him with a stick!

LEELA : No!… it's just...

LEELA : You can lie to others, but you can't lie to yourself.

LEELA : Oh who cares about what you say anyway! You can't even speak for yourself!

LEELA : But you can't speak to anyone about your emotions either can you?

LEELA : Who the hell do you think you are anyway!?.

(This is a musical in Leela's mind, in her voice, as she sings a song that I trust you all know)

LEELA :
         *Hey!
        I'm your life
        I'm the one who takes you there
        Hey!
        I'm your life
        I'm the one who cares
        They!
        They betray
        I'm your only true friend now
        They!
        They betray
        I'm forever there!

                 I'm your dreams, make you real
                 I'm your eye when you must steal
                 I'm your pain when you can't feel
                 Sad but true!
                 I'm your dream, mind astray
                 I'm your eyes while you're away
                 I'm your pain when you repay
                 You know it's sad but true!
                 Sad but true!

        You!
        You're my mask
        You're my cover, my shelter
        You!
        You're my mask
        You're the one who blamed
        Do!
        do my work
        do my dirty work, scapegoat
        do!
        do my deeds
        for you're the one who's shamed

                 I'm your dreams, make you real
                 I'm your eyes when you must steal
                 I'm your pain when you can't feel
                 Sad but true!
                 I'm your dream, mind astray
                 I'm your eyes while you're away
                 I'm your pain when you repay
                 You know it's sad but true!
                 Sad but true!

        I'm your dreams
        I'm your eyes
        I'm your pain
        You know it's sad but true!

        Hate!
        I'm your hate
        I'm your hate when you want love
        Pay!
        pay the price
        pay, for nothing's fair
        Hey!
        I'm your life
        I'm the one who took you there
        Hey!
        I'm your life
        and I no longer care!

                 I'm your dreams, make you real
                 I'm your eyes when you must steal
                 I'm your pain when you can't feel
                 Sad but true!
                 I'm your truth, telling lies
                 I'm your reason, alibis
                 I'm inside, open your eyes
                 I'm you!
                 Sad but true!*


(*SAD BUT TRUE. Written by James Hetfield and Lars Ulrich, all rights reserved to the owners.)


As the music stops, the scene changes again. This time to Fry, as he walks to the robot arms apartment, still sobbing slightly.

FRY : (Thinking) Why is this happening to me?! And why now?! I don't want to hurt Leela, I LOVE HER DAMMIT!!! But she completely ignores me, even when she slept with that jerk Zapp Brannigan, WITH ZAPP FOR GOD'S SAKE!!! WHAT DOES HE HAVE THAT I DON'T!!!

Just then the part of his mind that he listened to the most, the one that constantly annoyed him, spoke up.

FRY : Worth, you're a worthless slob, and a stupid one at that too, ha ha ha!

FRY : I don't think I'm as bad as Zapp.

FRY : OH PLEASE! Like you have ever done something better than laying on the couch, watching TV, and you don't even shower or wear deodorant.

FRY : (At the verge of tears) SHUT UP! I HAVE QUALITIES NOW! I CAN KICK ASS AND I'M GONNA KICK YOURS!

FRY : YOU IDIOT,! YOUR ASS IS MY ASS! You can't even figure THAT out?

FRY : (Angry) Then how does THIS feel HUH!

Fry punches his own stomach with all his strength, usually this would have done nothing, but his new strength, he cried out in pain, getting the attention of everyone in the street. He noticed this and walked into an alley.

FRY : (Grimacing in pain) Well that sure showed him…

Just then he lost consciousness, his last thoughts being on what to do now that he failed his promise…he realized how hopeless his situation was… on how he should kill himself when he woke up.


We change scenes again as we see the PE building, inside Leela is pacing back and forth, while the professor is senile and out and Hermes is giving a speech to Amy, Zoidberg, and Leela…

HERMES : yadda yadda yadda, blah blah blah, an this concludes ma speech on bein' vague an not say'n nuthin' AT ALL.

The professor snaps out of it and starts clapping at the speech…

FARNSWORTH : That was very interesting, oh my, yes. And now Hermes has a speech he wants to give to you

HERMES : Just forget it.

FARNSWORTH : (Snapping out of it again) Forget what?

Then bender walks in, saluting in his particular way…

BENDER : Hi meatbags… and stupid shellfish.

ZOIDBERG : Finally someone remembers me!

At this point, they all glare at Bender, then even he is able to understand what he's done

BENDER : I'm sorry… THIS TIME I REALLY AM SORRY…

ZOIDBERG : (Sad) Awww…

LEELA : Where's Fry?

BENDER : I don't know. The meatbag didn't went to bed last night, good too because when he's there all he does is talk about you and how "wonderful" you are, how's a hard working robot supposed to recharge with all that "I love Leela", "I'd die for Leela", "I'd never hurt Leela"?

Leela then grimaces thinking about what went on last night and then comes to her senses, shoving Bender against a wall.

LEELA : WHERE'S FRY!?

BENDER : (A bit afraid) Like I said, he didn't came home last night, so I don't know where is he.

LEELA : … I'm going to look for him

HERMES : Wait…

Leela didn't hear Hermes as she went through the door looking around then heading to Bender's apartment looking for Fry along the way

LEELA : (Thinking) I hope Fry didn't do anything rash after what happened last night

Leela's mind went back into action

LEELA : You mean after you forced him to fight us? And after he wiped the floor with us, not wanting to?

LEELA : You're exaggerating

LEELA : What would you say if you saw that happen to someone else?

LEELA : I hesitated

LEELA : No you didn't, He did. But you didn't hesitate to punch his lights out, I was with you the whole time remember?

LEELA : Damn

LEELA : Now who's the one that doesn't say the smart thing huh? I don't see that cute boy saying something stupid right now, now do I?

LEELA : Is the mocking really necessary?, and yes, I think Fry is cute too, but no more than that.

LEELA : Why don't you give him a chance, you know he wouldn't hurt you any more than you hurt him, at least intentionally don't you?

LEELA : Yes, I think even Bender knows that, you know I'm not the enemy here

LEELA : I wonder…

LEELA :…


We change scenes to see Fry waking up in the alley, next to a dumpster he used as a rest for his head, which is now stuck to it by some sort of foul smelling gunk. Fry remembers what happened last night, how he hurt Leela, how he thought of himself as worthless and hopeless, and how Leela thought better of anyone but him…and his last thoughts.

FRY : (Sad but determined)… All I have left is to follow trough the last thing I thought…The last thing I'll ever do… I'll miss you Leela…

Fry then stands up and heads toward a suicide booth… his last hope for peace…

The scene changes to the perspective of a Nibblonian battle cruiser. We change to a view of the interior of the bridge. A young Nibblonian steps trough the door, it appears to be an ensign, it talks to an officer which in turn, talks to Nibbler.

OFFICER : Lord Nibbler, the stealth implants we put on the owner of the Frybrain seem to be working perfectly, even defeating the scanners of the old psychopath they call the professor, and the skills of his assigned guardian, but…

NIBBLER : But…

OFFICER : But, the 20% percent chance of a mental breakdown seems to be a little optimistic right now, as the Frybrain seems to be trying to self destruct. May I remind you that we cannot interfere anymore, as this is a court martial offense punishable by death.

NIBBLER : I know…let's just hope the implants help him survive…


We now change back to the streets of New New York We see it topside and we realize that Leela is just a corner away of spotting Fry.

FRY : Here's a quarter… hope it works

As Fry walks towards the suicide booth we change to Leela's point of view.

LEELA : (Thinking) I gotta find him! I just GOTTA FIND HIM!

LEELA : It's eating you up inside, just admit it…

LEELA : No..

LEELA : Say it to ourselves, it's not like I could run around telling everybody…

LEELA : NO…

LEELA : If it's upsetting you this much you know it's gotta be true…

LEELA : NO…

Just then Leela turns around the corner, in time to see Fry entering the suicide booth. Fry does see her from the corner of his eye, and then turns around, giving a sad, longing stare to Leela that seemed to go on for hours. We realize it doesn't because it's broken by the door of the suicide booth sealing itself. Leela sees horrified as Fry doesn't seem to struggle out of the booth, then from the booth we hear sickening noises of hi-speed cutters and low power lasers power up.

LEELA : No… No!… NOOOOO!!!...

From the booth we see lights shinning through, as Leela falls to her knees sobbing sadly…

LEELA : JUST SAY IT!!! IT DOESN'T MATTER ANYMORE!!!

LEELA : ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, I LOVE FRY, I LOVE PHILLIP J. FRY, I THINK HE'S CUTE WHEN HE'S PATHETIC, I THINK HE'S CUTE EVEN WHEN HE'S GROSS, I LOVE HIM BECAUSE HE LISTENS TO ME, I LOVE HIM BECAUSE HE HONESTLY LOVES ME, I LOVE HIM BACK! I LOVE HIM! I LOVE HIM!! I LOVE HIM!!! AND I'M SO SORRY THAT I TREATED HIM LIKE CRAP, I SHOULD GO INTO THAT BOOTH MYSELF!!!

Leela is interrupted by a piece of metal that lands near her and a loud metallic crunch, she then looks to where the booth was to see a familiar figure…

FRY : I…

He doesn't complete his sentence as a tearful Leela tackles him onto the floor. She then slaps him in the face… and then kisses him passionately. Of course the, now REALLY CONFUSED, Fry is full of questions, which of course are silenced by the kiss. Leela then stands, lifting Fry above her and swinging him around in circles in the air.

LEELA : (Angry) DON'T YOU DARE DO THAT TO ME AGAIN!!!

FRY : (Sad) I Know, I'm sorry, I should I have let you punch me and lie on the ground

LEELA : I'm talking about the suicide booth!, Don't you EVER leave ME AGAIN!.

FRY : So, you meant what you said back there?

LEELA : Of course Fry! And I'll never EVER let you leave my side again! Or I'LL KILL YOU MYSELF!.

FRY : Oh Leela, I love you so much, and now that I know you do too, I'll always have a reason to live.

Leela then notices that they are on the street and everyone is staring at them. She and Fry then walk to a nearby park.

FRY : We better learn to control those outbursts

LEELA : Who cares, If anyone has a problem with us, I'll kick their asses so hard, they'll need the fusion jaws of life to surgically remove my foot from their ass.

FRY : (Surprised) It seems that I'm not the only one who changed, you are really being impulsive right now.

LEELA : I guess when you are about to loose something this important to you, all fears and cautions are thrown to the wind.

FRY : Leela…

LEELA : Fry…

As they lock in another passionate kiss, a thought hits Fry.

FRY : Damn, we forgot about work, we gotta go now.

LEELA : Oh no you don't, we're not making any deliveries, we have something more important to do right now.

FRY : What?


The scene changes again to the planet express ship taking off, leaving the angry planet express crew (minus Leela and Fry who are on the ship ) shouting profanities to the ship (Amy is shouting in Chinese of course).

FRY : Where are we going?

LEELA : You know Fry, we declared our love, but we haven't done it properly…

FRY : (Confused) What do you mean?

LEELA : (Thinking) He really is dense… (out loud) Ask the question you jackass!.

FRY : Oh, you mean THE question?

LEELA : Yes, ask it!

FRY : But what about the…

Leela tosses Fry a small metallic box

FRY : You kept this all along…

LEELA : (Hurriedly) Yes, yes I did, I love you, now ask me the damn question!.

FRY : (Nervous) Leela, I have loved you since the first time I met you and I want to spend my whole life with you, no matter what happens and…

LEELA : (Picks up the other box off the floor and engages the autopilot) aw forget it… (kneels to Fry and opens the box) Fry, will you be my husband?…

FRY : (Acts the stereotypical feminine part) YES oh yes Leela, I'D LOVE TO (makes little hops in the air).

They share a little kiss and Fry lifts his right leg backwards a little.

LEELA : (Jumps back into the captain's seat and dis-engages the autopilot) I'm so happy.

FRY : (Stereotypically feminine yada yada yada) This his the happiest day of my life! Sniff (small tears of joy are flowing from his eyes).

They stop at a window in a fly-through wedding chapel called "The five-five-sixer", They are greeted by a robot preacher.

PREACHER : Greetings my children, what brings you here?, do you want the normal ceremony, or the fast ceremony?.

LEELA/FRY : Fast/Normal

PREACHER : Does not compute, state the choice clearly.

FRY : Whatever she says.

LEELA : Sorry, I guess I got a bit too impulsive.

FRY : I know, (Suave) I like that…

LEELA : (Blushing) Lets do that later okay?

PREACHER : Your choice

FRY/LEELA : Normal

PREACHER : We are here to witness blah blah blah, do you?

LEELA : Yes

PREACHER : Do you?

FRY: (Nervous) Yes

PREACHER : Then by the power invested in me by the DOOP and the 117th assembly line I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may now…

Leela pulls Fry close to her and kisses him (More like sticking her tongue down his throat)

PREACHER: Kiss the bride…um… ma'am… sir…

FRY : (Pulls away from the kiss breathing shallowly) Yeah?

PREACHER : That's fifty bucks…

Leela pulls some money from her boot and hands it over to the preacher and they both walk away. They both walk to the PE ship, and Leela starts it, drives away from the chapel and towards Earth. Before Fry can even get dirty thoughts in his head (THIS IS FICTION), they land back on Earth, where their disgruntled co-workers await…

FRY : Are you sure you want to do this?.

LEELA : I'm as ready as I'll ever be.


The PE ship deploys it's stairs and Leela and Fry step down together holding hands, as the rest of the gang wait in ambush (heh heh heh) and pop-up in front of them.

HERMES : What the hell were ya thinking ya morons, takin' ta ship up t'ere without askin' us to (looking at the ring)… GOOD BOB MARLEY'S GHOST WHAT IS THAT!?

LEELA : (Happy) Guys, fifteen minutes ago Fry and I made a decision that would change our lives…

FARNSWORTH : (Happy) You are giving me your organs and the rest of the body for my experiments?

FRY : No, we got MARRIED!.

FARNSWORTH : Damn you… what? You're WHAT? THAT'S SO SHOCKING I WAS SHOCKED OUT OF SENILITY!!!.

AMY : I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU GUYS!

HERMES : (Calming down and walking up to Bender) Well, pay up!

BENDER : …Cheese it!

HERMES : OH NO YOU DON'T!

Hermes activates a magnetic crane, picking Bender off the floor and keeping him stuck to the magnet, he then walks up to him, opens his compartment, and takes out 200 bucks and 4 beers and hands one to everyone but the professor who has, like always, zoned out.

LEELA : (confused) Hey, how come you aren't so surprised?

FRY : Yeah, I'm surprised and I'm the husband.

HERMES : Well, I am a married man, ah think ah know a thing or two about these things; I propose a toast, to the happy couple, may 'ey live happily eva afta.

All (except Bender, who is pissed cause he didn't get a beer): Cheers!

BENDER : BITE MY SHINY METAL ASS!

FRY: (Faking it) Well I'm tired for all that happened today, so I'll go back to the ship to get some rest.

LEELA: (Understanding Fry) Yeah, and I gotta check the engine.

AMY : (Not realizing) Oh, I'll check it later.

LEELA : (Glaring at Amy) NO, I'll do it now.

Then they both run to the ship, which about 15 seconds later starts rocking back and forth.

AMY : Oh that's so cute… and awkward…

BENDER : And disgusting.

HERMES : I agree, let's get out of ere.

The ship kept rocking for quite some time (Leela knew how to keep a man busy), and since this is a fanfic, not a penthouse letter, we don't get to see what exactly they are doing, but we all know anyway.

The end…Or is it?…

Buddies