The Stepford Leela
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The Stepford Leela
(The title is a take from the Married With Children episode, "The Stepford Peg", which parodied "The Stepford
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Futurama Main Title Theme.
"Spin-off of the Original."
(This story takes place right between "Anthology of Bender" and "PE's Angels." Opening Scene. The PE building
and Fry, Leela, and Bender are watching, "All My Circuits.")
Monique: Calculon, the clone of your evil half twin brother's cousin has escaped from prison.
Calculon: Alas, my past comes back to haunt me. Why!!!!!!!!!!!
Bender: Wow, what an unexpected twist. (Professor enters.)
Professor: Good news, everyone. You all are going to build me a new room.
Fry: What for?
Professor: It's so I can find space to put my huge ball of string.
Leela: Why would you want to have a huge ball of string?
Professor: Doesn't everyone?
(Cut to them in a room that is completely empty and they are all wearing blue overalls and matching blue hats.)
Bender: Ah yes, carpentry, the bender's best friend. (Uses his hand as a buzz saw and slices a few boards.)
Fry: So, Leela I was wondering, after finishing this, do you want to go out?
Leela: Sorry Fry, but you know we have to make a quick deliver after this.
Fry: (disappointed) Man, we've been swept up with so much work that we haven't gone out for a long time.
Leela: I'm sorry Fry, but we do have a responsibly.
Bender: Sheesh, Fry, why are you so unhappy? She kisses you. That's what you humans like, right?
Fry: I like that but up to now, we've only been a dating couple and I was hoping we would take our relationship to
Leela: I'm sorry Fry, but I'm not ready for that yet.
Bender: You are the one to talk, you practically have had sex with every other guy you've dated. Zapp, the shape-shifter, that average doctor, may I go on?
Leela: I never dated Zapp.
Bender: Oh so you just skipped right to the sex part, just like Amy used to do.
Leela: (frowns at Bender then turns to Fry) Look Fry, it isn't because I hate you or anything, I like you, but I'm
afraid if we take it to next step right now, something bad will happen, based on experience.
Leela: Because of my relationship with Shawn. Believe it or not, my relationship with Shawn started off like ours,
but after we took that big step...
Bender: ...you mean sex?!
Leela:(Frowns)..after we took that big step, our relationship soured. It was because we took things a little too
quickly. I hope you understand, Fry.
Fry: (Disappointed) Okay.
Bender: Well, enough of this human emotion nonsense and let's get to work. I'll just place this up the wall for a
while...(Bender sets up a floor board and places it on the wall and turns his back. He doesn't put it up right and it
begins to fall and Fry yells.)
Fry: look out! (We see a shot of Leela with her back turn and a shadow covers her, she turns around but it hits her on
the head. Next Scene. Leela is on the couch out cold. She has her regular clothes on, so does Fry as he rubs her
head and strokes her hair.)
Fry: leela, please wake up! She needs a doctor! (Zoidberg enters.)
Zoidberg: Did somebody call me?
Bender: No, go back to your dumpster. (Zoidberg walks way disappointed.) Ah Leela, I'm sorry, I hope you can
hear me and forgive me. (Just then Leela starts to wake up.)
Leela: Where am I?
Fry: Leela! You're okay. I'm glad that you are alright. (Hugs Leela and she looks shocked.)
Leela: Thank you for your concern, but who are you kind sir?
Fry: Leela, it is me your boyfriend, Fry?
Leela: I don't know a Fry. (Cut to the Professor examining Leela's head.)
Professor: I don't believe this, it appears Leela has suffered some brain trauma and she hasn't even used a cell
Leela: (She seems happy like a little girl after a check up.) You are really old.
Professor: I'm afraid she has amnesia.
Fry: This is awful, what can we do?
Professor: Maybe, if we disrupt her lobe, she can be cured.
Bender: So, all it takes is another blow, I'll take care of this. (Opens his chest and pulls out a two by four. Fry steps
in and protects Leela. He covers her head.)
Fry: No, I'm not letting you hurt, Leela. She's not some talking pinata that you can hit and expect candy to fall out.
Leela: You're cute. Can I have some candy?
Fry: I'm going to help jog her memory myself, no matter how long it takes? (Cut to Fry trying to show Leela around
in hopes to jog her memory. They enter the kitchen and Amy is at the table reading.)
Leela: that was a big spaceship, Fly. Can we ask the captain if we could go for a ride?
Fry: Leela, you are the captain, and my name is Fry.
Amy: She still hasn't gotten her memory back?
Fry: Nope, and that must be terrible, confused and not knowing who she is. Almost like Mariah Carey. Look, I'm
going to get a picture of Leela and me together, maybe that can help. Leela, stay here, I'll be back.
Leela: Don't leave me. I don't know what to do?
Fry: Look, just stay here with your friend Amy. (Fry leaves.)
Leela: You are my friend? You look so cute.
Amy: Why thanks, Leela, usually you just give an expression like you are jealous of me or something.
Leela: I do? (Bender enters.)
Bender: Has Leela got her memory back, yet? Man, I need a beer really bad, is there some in the fridge?
Leela: You mean that big metal thing? (She points to the Fridge.)
Bender: Exactly. (Leela opens the fridge door and pulls out a bottle of beer and gives it to Bender.)
Leela: So, who are you kind, metal sir?
Bender: I'm Bender, your boyfriend's best friend, who is also the greatest robot ever. (He drinks the beer.) Man,
thanks Leela, you saved me some trouble getting it...(thinks and then.)...like you always do.
Amy: Excuse me?
Bender: You Leela, like to do stuff for me almost like a slave.
Leela: Wait, why would I do stuff for you if I'm Try's girlfriend?
Bender: You do stuff for me because girlfriends are supposed to do things for the boyfriend's friends.
Amy: Bender! That is mean. Look Leela...
Bender: And I almost forgot, you Leela promised to wash Amy's hover car and do her shopping for her. (Bender
winks at Amy and she gets the idea.)
Amy: Oh yeah, now I remember. (Fry enters.)
Fry: Okay Leela, I hope this picture jogs your memory
Leela: Oh Guy, I know who I am, Bender and Amy told me, excuse me but I have to wash Amy's car.
Fry: But you don't...(Bender and Amy prevent him from saying anything else as Leela walks out.)
Bender: Quiet Fry, we made Leela think she does our chores.
Fry: What!? How could you two brainwash Leela?
Amy: It was the fact that I didn't have to go through the trouble of washing my car.
Fry: But isn't it bad to brainwash a person?
Bender: Oh course not, remember when Calculon brainwashed his evil twin to be good after he got amnesia?
Fry: I thought he had his evil twin sent to prison?
Amy: No, that was his evil twin's clone, I think.
Bender: And Fry didn't you say you wanted Leela to be more romantic at work, well now here is your chance.
(Fry looks unsure, but then he gets into the idea of going along with Bender and Amy. Cut to Fry, Bender and Amy
sitting on the couch and watching TV. Leela enters and she's dressed like a house wife, and man her dress is sexy.
She has a batch of cookies.)
Leela: Fry, I have a batch of Mars cookies for you. (Kisses him on the cheek and Fry and Amy try some of the
Amy: Chmm these are just like the ones my mom's highly trained chef used to make.
Leela: Guy, I've sorted your Spaceboy Comics, bought you a six-pack of slurm and dusted your yo-yo collection.
Fry: That shouldn't have been hard, I only have one.
Leela: Now, I'm going to help set up for Bender's party. (She leaves.)
Bender: Yeah, since Leela is doing all the work, I invited a few people to come over.
Fry: I don't know guys, I still feel bad about this.
Bender: What's wrong, you have a beautiful attractive woman serving you and you are complaining? I'll never
understand you humans.
Amy: Shmeesh Fry, I mean it isn't like we are making her do anything we wouldn't do.
Fry: You guys, Leela is our friend, and we shouldn't be taking advantage of her. (Leela enters.)
Leela: Here, Pie. (Offers another can of slurm to Fry and kisses him again. Fry shows an expression like he likes it.
Cut to PE building and it is nightfall and we hear music. Bender wasn't kidding and we see sorts of party guests,
they are in the new room and it has been completely finished. The Professor is sleeping on the armchair.)
Scruffy: Scruffy loves the festivities.
Hermes: yeah, but what happened to Dr. Zoidberg.
Bender: Oh he was called away. (Cut to Zoidberg at a hover bus station and he looks happy.)
Zoidberg: This is where my friend Bender told me to meet him so he can take me to the party. I must be early.
(Cut back to the party. Fry is talking with Kif.)
Fry: ...so that is how come Leela has been extra nice to me.
Kif: That seems wrong.
Fry: Yeah, but Amy and Bender convinced me it was better.
Bender: Speaking of which, Kif have you thought of a little brainwash on Amy. I'll hit her in the head for free.
Kif: No, I don't want to change Amy for anything, I love the way she is. (We see Amy and Leela enter the room and
they are wearing the sexiest dresses. Amy's red while Leela's black.)
Amy: Come on Kiffy let's dance. (Kif blushes as he and Amy head to the dance floor.)
Fry: Gosh Leela you look…(stunned)…fantastic.
Leela: Thank you, Lye.
Fry: It's Fry and let's dance. (Cut to them getting it on the dance floor as we hear Elvis's remix of "Little Less
Conversation". Time passes and Fry decides to take a break, he heads to the punch area, but Leela is alone and runs
Zapp: Aw, the lovely Leela, you are looking great this evening.
Leela: Who are you?
Zapp: Why don't you remember? It is me, Zapp Brannigan, the man you are secretly in love with.
Leela: I am?
Zapp: Yes, you loved me ever since we went where Zapp Brannigan has never taken a woman before.
Leela: Well since you say that I love you, I guess that must be true. (Cut to Fry talking with Amy and Kif.)
Fry: Hey, where's Leela?
Amy: I don't know.
Bender: I think I saw her with Zapp.
(Cut to Zapp and Leela in the PE ship, in Leela's room. Leela is wearing the clothing Zapp wanted her to wear from
Love's Labours Lost In Space.)
Leela: Mr. Brannigan, I must say these clothes you gave me, are a little revealing.
Zapp: Yes, just like how you like it. Now let's get ready for what I've been wishing for a long time.
(Zapp is about to take off his clothes when Fry enters.)
Fry: Leela, no! You don't want to go through with this again.
Zapp: You are you doing here? Can't you see are interrupting Zapp Brannigan's love making.
Fry: Leela, you slept with Zapp before, but you were repulsed by it.
Leela: I was?
Zapp: Don't listen to him, Leela. He is obviously jealous of our love.
Fry: Leela, please. You do not like Zapp, you said you'd rather watch American Idol 3004 in reruns than ever
spend time with Zapp. (Leela looks frustrated and then gets off the bed.)
Leela: Zapp, get out!
Zapp: But Leela my sweet...
Leela: Get out or I'll kick your ass. (Zapp leaves with shame, naked and with a blanket.)
Leela: Oh Try, you saved me, how can I thank you? (Hugs Fry.)
Fry: Thanks Leela, but I don't know how you can thank me.
Leela: (seductively) I know.
(We hear PG-13 noises coming from the ship and we see everybody hearing the sounds with shock.)
Leela: (os) Wait a minute! Fry!!!
(We hear her punching Fry and Fry comes into the room, zipping up his pants and putting on his coat.)
Fry: (rubbing his face.) Leela's back. (Leela comes in angry.)
Leela: Fry, how could you let this happen to me? Having me do things like Martha Stewart on steroids.
Fry: It wasn't just me, Bender and Amy put me up to it. (Leela turns her with an angry look on Bender and Amy.)
Amy: Leela, wait! Bender was the one who came up with the idea.
Bender: Now, Leela calm down. Look at the bright side; at least you set up a good party and built this room to
(The roof starts to fall and pieces of debris start to come down and hit everybody on the head. Everybody just looks
Amy: Who am I? And why am I so cute?
Bender: What's happening? Who am I? And why am I made of metal? (Just then Zoidberg enters.)
Zoidberg: Hello everybody, I'm back after my trip to the hover bus station and I had a delightful meal. Gum
underneath the chairs. (Slurps his mouth.)
Scruffy: Scruffy's gonna eat some cake that fell in the back of the table.
Leela: Fry, want to go to the dumpster and talk about candy?
Fry: Hurray for me, hurray for Fry.
Kif: Why am I so green? (Starts crying.)
Hermes: My glasses make me look strange. (Starts crying.)
Bender: Man, I'm a robot. That makes me different, but I don't feel popular enough to be different.
(He cries. Everyone either cries or moves around acting like Curly. Zoidberg just looks.)
Zoidberg: How pathetic you people all are. (Exits the room.)