Fan Fiction

Season A - Episode 1: The Bleak Week, Part 2
By Alex 'MKTai' Fuller

Planet Express HQ - 2 Days Left

With nothing else to do, the Planet Express crew were watching the news.

"Earth's last hope of salvation was ended today when a fleet lead by Captain Zapp Brannigan was humiliated by the fleet form Aggro 4. Just to remind people, we now have two days until annihilation."

"Morbo will destroy those who failed to save him!"

"Typical, how that buffoon became our last hope is worrying," said Leela.

"In other news, Mittens the kitten's trip to the cat food factory nearly ended in disaster after the kitten found her way onto a conveyor belt. Fortunately, a security guard managed to save her just in time."

"Morbo is angry that the conveyor belt was going too slowly."

"Hey Fry, you wanna walk me home?"

"Huh? Sure."

"Thanks for dinner on Tuesday. I had a great time."

"No problem."

"Why didn't you try to follow it up? I expected you to try something else the next day."

"Eh, I just thought you might need a day or so to think."

"Ok, thanks. You wanna come in?"


"Sit down, I'll get some coffee."

"Thanks." When Leela came back with the coffee, Fry explained something that had haunting him for some weeks but had been more pronounced for the last couple of days.

"Look Leela, you know I've loved you for ages and you've kept rejecting me for whatever reason. But I really don't think I can take another rejection, especially after Tuesday. So are we an item or not?"

Leela thought for a moment before answering.

"Yes." She sat down next to him. "I don't know why I never gave you a chance before. I guess I was just scared." They kissed.

Next Morning - Fry and Leela together in Leela's bed

"Oh Fry, this is the happiest I've been in ages."

"Yeah, shame we're all going to die tomorrow."

"Wait, I've got an idea. We need to get to the Professor's lab."

"Professor, we need to use the microphone."

"What? Why?"

"Maybe we can call random people in the Universe for help."

"Nonsense, I'd rather die than be indebted to some alien scum."

"Well I'd rather live. Bender, get the Professor out of the way."

"With pleasure." Bender picked up the Professor and put him to one side. Leela went over to the microphone, pointed it at a random star system and called -

"Hello, can anyone help us?" The reply came quickly and clearly. "No."

Leela, Fry, Bender, Zoidberg and Amy each tried for the rest of the day. However, all the replies were like the first one, with the rudest naturally being directed at Zoidberg. Eventually Bender ended up hitting the microphone's aiming device.

"Bah, not even God wants to help us."

The message travelled far throughout the Universe. Eventually it arrived at it's destination, a collect of various lights where Bender has by a strange coincidence already been before.

"Huh?" said God. God picked up a giant asteroid and flung it towards Earth.

One Day Later

Meanwhile, the citizens of Earth were preparing for their last hour of existence. The staff of Planet Express (except for Amy) were on the balcony of the building. Leela was sobbing in Fry's arms.

"Its not fair. I finally get together with someone who has made the happiest I've ever been and then we get blown up."

"Hey, there's still a chance we won't die. Right Professor?"

"Huh? Oh sure." He turned to Bender and added, "If you consider 1 in 10 to the power of 1 million a 'chance'."

"Just think of it this way," Bender said to Fry. "you won't need to worry about Leela dumping you."

"Not helpful Bender. Say, where's Amy?"

"Oh she decided to spend her last hour in the closet," answered Leela.

"The closet?"

"With Kif."


"You humans are idiots. You could be looting or doing something useful but instead you have to sit in and see the end of the world with your friends like it's a big deal," said Bender.

"You can go and do some last minute looting if you want Bender," said Leela.

"I would but my stupid conscience wants me to stay and I owe him a favour."

"You have a conscience?" said Hermes.

"I don't let it out much. It keeps impeding on my crime plans."

"Hey what's that?" asked Fry, pointing upwards.

"What, the giant cannon that's going to destroy us all?" said the Professor. "We all know about that you idiot."

"No behind it," replied Fry, who was still pointing. The asteroid appeared behind the cannon apparently from nowhere. It grew in size as it loomed behind it.

"What in Babylon!" exclaimed Hermes.

We're saved!" yelled Fry and Leela. However, the asteroid missed the cannon and shot round the planet.

"Um…we're still boned, right?" said Bender.

"Yep," said Leela.

"Wait, it's coming back again," pointed out Fry. The asteroid, which had somehow made a complete orbit of the planet, came back into view and smashed straight into the cannon before completing five more orbits where it destroyed the bulk of the Aggro 4 fleet. The most unlikely journey of the asteroid ended when it left orbit and embedded itself in the Sun.

"And I thought it was unlikely when Bender suddenly appeared from nowhere after we shot him out of a torpedo tube," said Leela. Bender called to Amy.

"Hey Amy, you can come out of the closet now, we're saved."

"Really? Give me five more minutes," came the reply. Everyone else continued to stare up at where the cannon had been moments before except for Fry and Leela who smiled and kissed.

Far away in the Universe

"When you do things right, people won't realise you've done anything at all."

Author's Notes - Wow, I thought that part was longer judging by the amount of pages used to try and come with that ending. Never mind, it means I have more time to concentrate on Episode 2, which should be coming within the next two weeks