Going Insane 2 - No More Sandwiches
[He woke up after a long night, and realized it wasnt a dream and that
there he was really with a hot naked Leela next to him and finally understood
Leela was the only one he could ever want to be in love with, the alarm went off.]
FRY: Good morning beautiful.
LEELA: Good morning, what time is it?
FRY: Its 7:00
LEELA: Alright we have to act natural, you go home and come in like you usually
do I am going to get ready.
FRY: All right, but there is something you should know.
FRY: I love you.
LEELA: Oh, I love you too Fry.
[They kissed and then got into the shower, and got to work. Then got ready
[At the Planet Express Building everyone is at the conference table waiting
HERMES: Ok everyone today you are going to make a delivery to Plana 9, the
old abandoned space colony.
FRY: What are we going to deliver?
HERMES: Oh you know, food, medicine, laser rifles; the usual
LEELA: Laser rifles what do they need those for?
HERMES: Hey, they are paying five times the normal price for services rendered
I am not going do be asken questions like that.
AMY: can I come along?
HERMES: Sure go on ahead; now as I was saying it is at least a 5 days away,
so be ready to head out again once you come back
HERMES: And now over to professor FARNSWORTH for his new invention that will
surely put you all in jeopardy
FARNSWORTH: Eeeh? What invention? You have nothing on me!
HERMES: Oh not this again, anyway just go on you will have a lot to do when
you get back.
FARNSWORTH: Wait I have not shown you my new invention yet. [Pulls out a scanning
device] This is my new person locator. You just get some of their DNA and you
can follow their trail no matter where they are hiding.
FARNSWORTH: Now off you go, and do not come back without making this delivery
or you are going to be fired be Hermes
[Ship takes off with all on board leaving the professor waving goodbye]
FARNSWORTH: poor bastards, nobody ever came back from Plana 9
I will l just get a new crew in accordance with the company motto: the crew is
expendable, your package is not.
[On the Planet Express Ship]
FRY: Well I am bored; I will be in my room.
BENDER: Yeah and I am going to guard the cargo
LEELA: Oh, no you both are not. Bender, you go recharge, and Fry, you keep
Bender from The cargo, if we loose it I am not paying for it like that popcorn
FRY: Oh man this stinks
AMY: Cheer up Fry; at least you can sleep when your shift is over.
FRY: And what are you going to do?
AMY: I dont know, I just came along so I dont have to drain any
more of the professors fluids for a while.
[After a long time, in the cargo bay Fry is sitting on a chair leaning back
staring at the large crates]
FRY: This stinks, only Leela and I ever do any work around here, I mean every
time they all get into trouble and Leela and I are always the center of the plot,
like this is all been written down already as some action sci-fi comedy drama.
[Just then, there is violent shaking and the lights go out, so the emergency
lights come on]
FRY: that could not be good I had better go see what is going on.
[On the bridge]
FRY: What happened?
LEELA: It looks like we ran out of dark matter
AMY: Hey, we did bring Nibbler right?
LEELA: I told Bender to bring him along
BENDER: Ill do it when we get back.
LEELA: Bender how could you even a simple robot like you would know we could
never get to Plana 9 and back without more fuel, and Nibbler is the only re-fuelling
thing we ever bring along on our missions!
BENDER: Well I would have brought him if he didnt actually bite my shinny
LEELA: Alright well arguing will not fuel this kind of a ship, so we are going
to have to find some more fuel, right now we only have enough to get to that abandoned
ship there, and Bender you damn well better hope they have fuel!
[They all board the deserted ship]
LEELA: All right, spread out and lets find some fuel, and Fry, try not
to get into too much trouble, OK?
FRY: Oh yeah sure like that happens sooo often..
[Just then he turns and falls down many flights of stairs]
FRY: point taken, Ill be all right
LEELA: ok then lets find that fuel!
[Fry walking down a dark confining corridor]
FRY: Oh, man this stinks, where is everyone, I think I am lost, and I have
to go to the bathroom
[Just then, he sees a door with a mens room symbol on it]
FRY: All right, I guess the future is more convenient!
[After doing his business Fry sees a vending machine on the wall]
FRY: well, I am hungry lets see
baloney 50 cents, pastrami $1.00,
and egg salad sandwich 25 cents. Hmmmm
.wait a minute I am not going to get
the egg again, I think Ill get something a little more filling; the pastrami
[Fry puts in the money and pushes the button. A small black sandwich falls
out, and Fry takes a bite]
Ive had better, at least this doesnt have any of
those stupid worms in it for Leela to fall in love with, good thing I finally
managed to become a little more mature. I practically had to beat her off with
a stick and the holophoner practice didnt hurt either.
[Fry then wandered around until he found Amy]
AMY: Fry where have you been?
FRY: looking for fuel, what do you mean?
AMY: we finished with the fuel an hour ago, hey what are you eating?
FRY: this pastrami sandwich I bought in the bathroom.
AMY (with a shocked look on her face): Fry I dont think that is such
a good idea to eat it.
[Fry look up as he devours the last of the sandwich]
I have had better.
AMY: Gaaaah! Lets just get back to the ship ok.
[Back on the ship]
FRY: oh man, that sandwich is not making friends with any of my vital organs..ohhhhhh
am going to lie down for a while, wake me up when it is my shift again.
LEELA: oh God, not another sandwich, Fry how could you?
FRY: well at least it was not egg salad (to himself: parasite lover)
LEELA: what did you say?
nothing, I just need to lie down for a while.
[Fry goes into his room and passes out on the bed, Leela and Amy are outside]
AMY: I dont know about Fry, do you think he is over that whole parasite
sandwich thing Yet?
LEELA: oh, I am sure he doesnt even remember those parasites after our
date last night.
AMY: date? What date? You never told me.
LEELA: oops! Well you were going to find out eventually. Yes we went on a date
and Fry showed me just how much he has changed in the last few days, and he even
played his holophoner for me.
AMY: did you
AMY: thats surprising; I mean Zapp didnt even need a date. Not
to mention alkazar and the man as interesting as cardboard.
LEELA: do you have a stick of gum?
AMY: yeah sure, want some?
LEELA: yes, please, but just one, you might be needing it later
AMY: uh right, here you go.
[A really long time later]
LEELA: All right I am going to my room, Amy fly the ship, and Bender; dont
LEELA: I mean it!
[In Frys room]
FRY: ohhh.. My stomach hurts so much.
[Just then, the pain increased 100 fold causing Fry to scream out in blood
FRY: AHHHHHH!!!! THE PAIN!!! IT HURTS!!!! OWWWWW!!!!!
[As Leela was nearing Frys room]
LEELA: Fry! Fry! What is happening Fry!
[Just then she bust through the door only to see Fry sweating out a black slime
from all over as a huge black mass began to form around him emanating from his
stomach at an increasing speed.]
LEELA: Fry! Fry!!! Dont worry, Ill help you!!
[Leela grabs hold of Fry as Amy rushes in to see what was happening]
AMY: Oh my God! Fry!!
LEELA: stop gawking and help me get him out of this thing!!
[Both Leela and Amy furiously pull at Frys head (the only thing left)
to no avail and it too Is almost consumed]
FRY: AHHHHH!!!! NOOOO!!! HELP ME PLEASE!!!! I LOVE YOU LEELA!!!
[Just then, his head is enveloped in the thick pulsating black mass and the
thing swelled up until it took up the entire corner of the room]
LEELA: NOOOOO!!! DONT LEAVE ME FRY!!!!
AMY: Oh my God, he is gone
LEELA: We have to get him out of there! Quick get some tools!!
AMY: I am on it!
[Amy runs to a supply closet and grabs assorted tools, like a circular saw,
blowtorch, and sledgehammer. And runs back to frys room where the black
mass had hardened into a thick cocoon.]
AMY: I dont know if we can cut through that.
LEELA: WE HAVE TO!! OK WE JUST CANT LOOSE FRY!!! I cant lose Fry.
[First, they try the hammer, but it shatters on contact]
AMY: that was odd, I am not the professor, but it seems like we need something
LEELA: right I am on it!
[She pulls out the circular saw and begins to cut away at the cocoon, but it
soon explodes, and the cocoon is barely scratched]
LEELA: Nooooo!!! That should have worked!
LEELA: shut up, and hand me the plasma torch!
[She hands Leela the torch and she begins to blast the cocoon at full power
in desperation to get Fry out of there.]
FRY (thinking): gee, its weird in here, I cant move at all. If
only I could get out or at least tell Leela that, I am ok. Hmmm
I hope that
was me making it warmer in here.
[The torch soon runs out of gas and Leela snaps.]
LEELA: AHHHH!!!! NOOO!!!! FRY!!!! ARE YOU ALIVE IN THERE!!!!
[She then starts beating the cocoon until her hands become bloody and Amy calms
AMY: dont worry Leela, when we get back the professor will know what
LEELA: but he might suffocate by then! If only I knew, he was alright.
[Leela then breaks into tears and falls to the floor in anguish over the realization
that Fry may be dead.]
AMY: everything is going to be ok, now let me get you back to your room.
LEELA: NO!! I have to be here with Fry! I cant possibly leave him in
his time of need!
AMY: ok then, hey wait if I am here then who is flying the ship?
[Cut to bridge; Bender is steering with his ass]
BENDER: Woooo Hooo!!! Look at me!
AMY: Bender stop that!
BENDER: bite my shiny metal ass!!!
AMY: thats it! Look here Bender! Fry is trapped in a cocoon in his room
and Leela has gone catatonic in a fetal position next to it, and I order you to
help Leela through this NOW!!!
BENDER: Sir! Yes Sir!! Gladly Sir!!; what the hell was that?
AMY: my yelling must have activated your patriot chip. Hmmmm
BENDER: Oh No, I dont like it when you get that look on your face.
AMY: go get me a soda now private!
BENDER: Sir! Yes Sir! Awe crap!
[Meanwhile in the cocoon]
FRY (thinking): gee, I sure feel different. I wish I knew what day it was.
I was trapped on day two, and I dont think it has been that long
since then. It is actually pretty nice in here, although I wish I knew what was
happening to me, and I wish I could tell Leela I am ok.
[Cut to ouside the cocoon, Leela is catatonic and curled up in the fetal position
next to the cocoon]
LEELA (thinking): Oh, Fry, if only I knew what was happening to you, or if
you are even alive in there. Oh, if only I could tell you I love you one last
time. Why did you have to go?
[Meanwhile on the bridge]
AMY: get me some snacks private!!!
BENDER: Sir! Yes Sir!, damn it! Stop that!
AMY (thinking): oh geez I am tired, I hope Leela can pilot the ship soon.
[Just then, Leela walks onto the bridge]
LEELA: Hey, Amy let me take over for a little bit.
AMY: but last, I saw you were curled up next to the cocoon in a catatonic state,
why did you leave? It is not like you to get over something like this that fast.
LEELA: For your information, I am fine, besides I used my wristamajuggor to
set up a video link with the cocoon and see everything that happens on my wrist
AMY: ok then, I am going to get some sleep, wake me up when its my shift.
[Once Amy walks out of the room]
LEELA: oh Fry I hope you come out of there soon
[Day 3 they reach the planet and land on an old abandoned landing pad.]
LEELA: ok lets deliver this stuff, so we can get back to the professor
and he can help Fry.
AMY: Wow, you really care about him dont you?
LEELA: Yes, he is the only one who ever truly cared about me and kind of understood
what life must be like for me. I mean he has given up his oxygen for me, saved
me from men who only wanted to trick me into marrying them, and even took on the
globetrotters for me, and all I can do is accuse him if tricking me into marrying
him, and kicking him to the curb when he got rid of the parasitic worms, not to
mention how I totally rejected every advance he has ever had towards me
I just rambling on or what Amy. Hey where did you go?
[Amy is nowhere in site, then comes up from behind.]
AMY: delivery completed lets go home.
LEELA: did you even hear a word I said?
AMY: yeah something about Fry, anyway, why did it take you so long to fall
in love anyway? I mean Fry and I were hitting it off the first day almost, what
was your problem I mean it wasnt as if he didnt like you its
just I am much cuter and more likable. Totally not, like you in any way.
LEELA: do you have any more gum.
AMY: sure here you go, say whats up with you and the gum?
LEELA: I dont know, lately I have just become more impulsive, and when
I told the professor, he said for me to have a stick of gum every time I had an
impulse to do something.
AMY: why would he say that?
LEELA: I dont really know, he said something about seeing it in a movie
and then mumbled something about getting rid of his man-eating anteaters or something.
AMY: oh well he was probably senile as ever
LEELA: yeah I guess, although he was pretty shaken about it and I still cant
figure out why I am feeling so impulsive after all this time of not being. Oh
[ONE DAY LATER, in Frys room when nobody is around the cocoon starts
to break open]
FRY (thinking): Hey, I think I can move a bit now! Alright! It wont be too
long before I get out of here!
[Just then, the cocoon breaks open and Fry falls out and slides across the
floor on the wave of sludge.]
[He then tries to breath, but the sludge got into his throat and lungs, so
he begins to cough violently and accidentally crushes the video camera. Meanwhile
on the bridge a siren goes off and startles Leela, before she can see what has
just happened in the room.]
LEELA: oh what now!
[She pushes some buttons and Zapp appears on the screen]
ZAPP: why if it isnt the voluptuous and always hot and sexy Leela.
LEELA: what is it now!?
ZAPP: I am afraid I am going to have to put you under arrest for breaking another
of Branigans laws.
ZAPP: I am afraid you were too hot and sexy in a non-hot and sexy zone, kif
activate the tractor beam!
KIF: yes sir (sigh)
AMY: HI KIF! LEELA: Oh, no you dont not this time!
[Before she could get away the tractor beam already trapped the Planet Express
Ship and was bringing it into the huge cargo docking bay of the Nimbus, meanwhile
in Frys room]
FRY (thinking): alright! I am free! But I still cant see, I had better
go to the bathroom and wash this slime off.
[Fry then went to the bathroom and washed the slime off his face, funny how
it seemed like his hands were different and less able to wash his face than usual.
And before all else he looked in the mirror, and what he say was would forever
fill him with both shock and horror.]
FRY: OH MY GOD!!!!! I AM A MONSTER!!!!!!!
[This remark however came out as a large series of loud growls and roars]
[Indeed, he was a monster. The first thing he noticed was that he was about
10 feet tall, covered in bony plates as hard as steel, had a huge muscular, bony
tail, an elongated head that was streaked back, huge hands with razor sharp nine
inch nails, and he was coloured black all over. The only thing that made him even
look like himself was a tuft of orange hair on his head that looked just like
his regular hair.]
FRY (thinking): hey, what do I feel on my back?
[He concentrated on those muscles and huge black bony reptilian wings unfolded
from his back, and Fry totally freaked out and started to destroy everything around
him in a crazed panic.]
[Back on the bridge]
LEELA: What the hell was that loud roar! And I have lost my video link with
Fry! I have Got to find out what is going on down there!
[Leela raced to Frys room and banged on the door]
FRY (thinking): oh no! I cant let Leela see me like this I have to hide
[Thinking fast Fry dove into the air vent and escaped into the ducting system
just as Leela burst in, however Leela managed to catch a glimpse of his tail and
let out a blood-curdling scream.]
LEELA: AHHHHH!!!! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!!!!!!
[Just then a bunch of DOOP soldiers ran in and arrested Leela. They then took
her along with Bender and Amy to the brig of the nimbus.]
LEELA: I dont know what I saw; it looked like a black snake going into
the air vent, and all I know other than that is that Fry was not in his cocoon.
AMY: he wasnt! Then that thing must have eaten Fry alive and ran off,
and is still out there somewhere.
LEELA: NOOOOO!!! HE CANT BE DEAD!!!
[Just then, Kif enters]
KIF: the captain will see you now.
[They all start to leave]
KIF: no not you just Leela, sorry Amy.
AMY: I understand.
LEELA: Oh, God here we go again.
[Leela is taken away leaving just Bender and Amy in the cell.]
AMY: hey a steam pipe! Maybe we can escape through it.
BENDER: nope its full of steam, but we could make a sauna.
AMY: well it wont help, but it could be fun.
[Bender bends open the pipe and the room fills with steam.]
[Back on the Planet Express Ship Fry has worked his way off the ship and into
the vent system of the Nimbus.]
FRY (thinking): Hey, this is cool! I am all scary and strong, I wonder where
I should go?
[He then looks through a vent and sees Leela in front of zapp being annoyed
FRY (thinking): that bastard! How dare he try to seduce Leela again after all
the pain he has caused her! Besides, I am the one who truly loves her!
[In the room]
ZAPP: my, my Leela, why dont you come here and get horizontal with me.
LEELA: no way you lying bastard!
[Just then, there is a large crash as Fry leaps out of the vent and attacks
zapp, however, in the action he accidentally knocks Leela into a wall and stuns
her. He the bats zapp into the bed and knocks him out.]
[As Leela came to, she sees the blurred figure of the monster and then noticed
the orange Tuft on its head, which kind of resembled Frys!]
LEELA: you damn monster! What have you done to Fry! I am going to kill you!
FRY (saying in a series of roars and growls): Leela no its me! Dont
you recognize the hair?
LEELA: and of all things, you keep his hair after you eat him! You make me
sick! Time to die you bastard!
[Leela then pulls out a laser pistol and shoots Fry]
[Stunned Fry makes a run for it, he runs into the corridor causing as much
mayhem as possible in an attempt to get away from Leela and cripple the nimbus.]
AMY: hey Bender what do you think is happening out there?
BENDER: dont know and dont care [he then pulls out a beer and drinks
[Fry ran through the corridors swatting soldiers like flies and knocking them
out trying not to kill them]
FRY (thinking): that is it! Zapp has caused Leela pain and humiliation for
the last time! And now that I have the power, I am going to ruin his career and
destroy his life!
[Just then, Fry Fry ran into the main power room and destroys a power control
causing the reactors to meltdown, explode. the force field around the cell goes
down, and Amy and Bender escape.]
FRY (thinking): oh man that was stupid, good thing I have such thick armour,
oh no pain, AHHHH!!!
[The radiation from the reactors mutates him further and his teeth get sharper,
nails get longer, armour gets tougher, and in general Fry goes from a regular
beast to a super beast]
LEELA: Oh, no it feels like the entire ship is going to be destroyed! I better
forget about the monster and get back to the ship!
[Just then Fry, scarier than ever runs from more explosions behind Leela as
he escapes to the ship as well]
LEELA: oh my God! Get back you beast!
[Amy and Bender get to the ship and are waiting for Leela. Just then, Leela
comes running out and is shooting at the monster (Fry) that is chasing her and
is also trying to escape. Leela gets onto the ship and the ramp closes before
Fry can get in, so Fry jumps into one of the landing leg compartments.]
LEELA: get this thing started! We have to get out of here!
[The ship takes off and escapes as the nimbus looses power and all the crewmembers
are escaping in life pods.]
AMY: that was close, but what did all that?
LEELA: the same thing that ate Fry, that horrible creature not only killed
and ate him, but is also kept his hair as a souvenir!
[Leela then breaks into tears and collapses crying over her control panel.]
[Back in the landing leg compartment Fry claws his way out and into the cargo
hold with a loud crash and huge roar as he tried to tell everyone he was ok.]
AMY: what was that!
LEELA: oh no its HIM!!!!!
AMY: what do we do?
LEELA: we kill him thats what! He is not going to get away this time!
AMY: but how will we find him? He could be anywhere.
LEELA: with this.
[Leela pulls out the person locator and puts some of Frys DNA into it
from a sock on the floor.]
LEELA: if the monster ate Fry, then Frys DNA would be within him, so
we can follow him using the person locator.
AMY: but what are you going to kill him with?
LEELA: if I can get to the cargo bay, I can use one of the weapons in the storage
closet to kill the beast and avenge my beloved Fry!
[They sneak into the bay and see the monster get into an air vent and disappear.]
LEELA: Oh, no we will never be able to track him down!
AMY: heres a gun.
LEELA: do you always have to do things before I even finish stating the obvious?
AMY: yeah, so what do we do now that it is in the air vent?
LEELA: well we can make it a living hell for him in there, come on I have an
[They go over to a control panel and turn up the heat to maximum. Meanwhile
in the vent]
FRY (thinking): boy it sure is getting hot in here, but I just cant go
out there; I simply cant let Leela or anyone else I know see me like this.
[Back on the bridge]
LEELA: alright he is in the vents now, so Amy you use the person locator to
find the general area, and Bender you use your motion detectors to tell is where
and how far away the monster is.
BENDER: do I have to..
LEELA: I said now private!
BENDER: sir! Yes Sir! ..STOP THAT!!!!!
LEELA: wow it really does work
AMY: told ya.
LEELA: now lets go avenge Frys horrible death at the hands of that
[Cut to them all waling down a dark hallway]
AMY: the readings on the locator are getting stronger
LEELA: Bender use your motion detectors now.
BENDER: oh all right, thirteen meters strait ahead.
LEELA: alright everyone get ready
BENDER: six meters and closing fast dead ahead!
LEELA: come and get me you Fry killing bastard!
BENDER: three meters, its right on top of us!
AMY: I am scared!
LEELA: hold your self together!
BENDER: one meter!
AMY/BENDER: were doomed!
[Just then, a small tuft of orange hair pops out of the vent and everyone panics]
LEELA: oh my God! Fry! Your alive!
[Just then the vent is pried open, Fry (still a monster) comes out, and everyone
panics but Leela]
LEELA: take this you murderer!
[She shoots him in the leg]
FRY (in growls): its me dont shoot!
LEELA: eat this you Fry killing bastard! [Shoots him again]
[Fry falls over against a wall and with his last bit of consciousness writes
I Fry before Collapsing unconscious.]
LEELA: huh!?, what have I done! Fry NOOO!!!!
AMY: did that monster do what I thought it just did?
LEELA: I think so, but until we are certain help me bring him to the cargo
bay and chain Him to the floor.
[Later on Fry regains consciousness strapped to the floor of the ship.]
LEELA: Fry? Fry! Are you awake? Is that really you?
[Fry growls weakly to answer]
LEELA: oh Fry, what has happened to you, I thought you were dead for sure,
come on we have to see the professor.
[Fry moves a bit, breaks the straps with ease, and walks with Leela to the
EVERYONE WHO WERENT ON THE SHIP: AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
LEELA: everyone this is the new Fry.
HERMES: my God woman! Are you mad its a 10-foot juggernaught of death!
How could I possibly be Fry!?
LEELA: I dont really know exactly, all I know is that Fry was just engulfed
by a cocoon and the person locator shows it to have Frys DNA, also it wrote
I Fry on the wall before it passed out.
FARNSWORTH: oh my intriguing, Fry you tell us what happened.
[Fry lets out a series of roars and only frightens everyone, and then covers
his face and runs to a corner whimpering like a dog at the realization of how
he was a monster and could never tell anyone anything ever again without scaring
LEELA: Oh, Fry; dont be sad, we will find a way through this. Now to
the rest of you, just because Fry cant speak anymore without letting out
ferocious roars does not mean that we can hurt his feelings like this!
HERMES: my God woman! Look at him! He is a ten foot seven hundred pound-killing
machine! How can we not fear him!
LEELA: Oh, Fry if only we could understand you we could fix this.
FARNSWORTH: that can be arranged with my latest invention. It is a universal
translator of sorts. Just put this on the head and the person or monster can tell
you what they are thinking.
LEELA: give me that!
[She puts an electrode on Frys head and immediately they all can hear
what he is thinking.]
FRY: oh man I dont believe this, just as things were going well for me,
I mean I got Leela using my own skills, I even slept
hey I can hear what
I think!!! Yes, you all can hear me!!!
FARNSWORTH: yes, yes Fry now tell us what happened to you.
[Fry then told them all about the sandwich and the pains and the cocoon, and
all of that stuff]
FARNSWORTH: well all we have to do is get some of the sandwich and I can make
a cure, now where is it now?
FRY: well I ate the sandwich, but the wrapper must still be in the hall of
the ship where is threw it out.
FARNSWORTH: excellent, we need only get it now.
[Some time later in the lab, everyone is gathered around the professor as he
examines the wrapper]
FARNSWORTH: it appears the sandwich contained some kind of a retrovirus that
must have re-written Frys genetic code and turned him into the horrible
monster you see before you now. A cure can be made; it will take a few days though.
[Back at the conference table everyone walks back and sit down, Fry sits and
his chair breaks beneath him, and as he falls back, his clays shred his part of
LEELA: Fry it is not your fault.
[Fry then kicks the chair and breaks it more]
LEELA: alright look Fry you have to remember that you are a 10 foot 700 pound-killing
machine now, and you are going to have to adjust accordingly.
HERMES: ok then if everyone is seated I can begin todays meeting, and
I have some good and bad news the good news it only one package came in and they
are going to pay 500 times the normal price for its delivery, however the bad
news is you will be delivering the package to planet DOOM 10 the monster planet.
They say nobody has ever survived a trip there, so I will need a new crew. However
if you get back alive you will get a pay raise, large bonus, and two weeks vacation.
LEELA: wait a minute, you only saying that because you know we are all going
to die horrible painful deaths, as we are torn limb from limb on that horrible
HERMES: so? There is a lot of motivation here.
AMY: good point, besides, Fry can make the delivery. He will fit right in.
[Fry starts to cry again, and his wails shatter glass and shake everyone out
of their seats]
FARNSWORTH: oh wait I didnt show you my latest invention I made just
now when I was supposed to be making a vaccine for Fry.
LEELA: what it is professor?
FARNSWORTH: it is a number of laser weapons specially designed to be fitted
on a very large person about 10 feet tall with tremendous strength, but I dont
know of anyone who can possibly wear the stuff.
LEELA: we will take it along professor, I think it just might come in handy.
[On the ship]
LEELA: ok we are almost there, now Fry we are going to have to drop you out
at high altitude, because landing is suicide. We will circle above and one the
delivery is made you have to fly back to the ship and come in the cargo bay.
FRY: Oh, ok then.
LEELA: ok we are here, now Fry get into the airlock and we will release you.
[Fry gets in and the airlock depressurizes]
FRY: hey wait a minute, I never learned to fly!
[However this realization came a tad too late, because Fry was now falling
toward the surface, he flapped his wings and finally stabilized.]
FRY: Hey, this isnt so hard at all! I think I am beginning to get the
hang of this!
[Fry then smashes into the surface of the planet with a huge thud. When he
came to, he only sees thousands of little red beady eyes staring at him from all
FRY (thinking): Oh, boy what have I gotten myself into now? Ok I just have
to act natural.
[Fry then started to act as ferocious and menacing as he could and all the
creatures ram away. Fry then made his way to the delivery site, where there was
a huge cave that had huge metal doors enclosing it.]
[Fry knocked on the doors and they slowly opened, and a huge monster not unlike
him came to the door and showed him in]
FRY: um I have a package here to deliver.
MONSTER: call me Fred, now come in please.
FRY: so you live here?
FRED: yes I do. All the other monsters look up to me and treat me like a king
on this planet, because I am the most terrifying. Say you are most terrifying
yourself, what parts do you hail from?
FRY: Oh, I am from earth, I was turned into a monster from some virus that
was in a pastrami sandwich from an alien bathroom vending machine. So what is
in the crate anyhow?
FRED: well being a monster and all I am sure you realize how hard it is to
keep your nails sharp without all the hassle, so that is why I ordered this axe-grinding
wheel. Want to try it out?
FRY: no thank you, I am new at this whole monster thing, and my nails arent
all that dull yet.
FRED: well thats just fascinating, your payment has been sent in advance,
you have no idea how hard it is to get a delivery around here, I mean either they
dont show up, or they are killed before they even get 10 feet. Oh well then
hope to see you around some time.
FRY: will try, well see ya.
FRY (thinking): Gee, this planet isnt so bad if youre a monster.
[Just then, there was a huge angry roar from the castle and Fred bursts out
FRED: what have you done to my package it is totally ruined!
FRY: um I can explain that, you see I was kind of new at the whole flying thing,
so I sort Of fell like a rock and you package broke my fall.
FRED: prepare to die! GET HIM!!!!!!!
[Huge swarms of monsters then come up out of every crevice around Fry and attack
FRY: I am getting out of here!
[He flaps his wings and takes off toward where the Planet Express Ship should
be Fry then Managed to fly up to the ship and get into the cargo bay]
LEELA: what is going on down there? Did you deliver the package?
FRY: long story, monsters very mad, we have to get out of here!
[Just then, the ship is rocked back and forth and there is a lot of banging
all around coming from the outside.]
FRY: oh no! some of them must be able to Fry too! We have to get out of here!
LEELA: we cant the engines are loosing power you will have to hold them
off until Amy Can fix the engines!
AMY: way ahead of you.
FRY: but I am only one monster, I cant possible take them all on!
LEELA: you can with these.
[She opens the weapons closet and on a rack, there are various large weapons
specially Made to fit very large strong people
kind of like Fry maybe?]
FRY: Oh, I get it, well its time to suit up.
[Fry straps on the various components, like lasers that strap to the forearm,
and a large pack that has a very large laser with missiles attached to it.]
FRY: wish me luck!
[Fry then jumps out of the airlock and engages in combat with the other winged
FRY: take this you evil beasts!
[Fry fires all missiles and blows about 20 of the creatures out of the sky]
FRY: and some of this!
[Fry stars shooting at all the others and picks them off one by one. Just then
Fred appears In the sky and attacks Fry]
FRED: you cant stop me first, I am going to kill you and then eat you
beloved shipmates You traitor to all monster kind!
FRY: oh no you dont!
[Fry lunges at him and they are in each others death locks in midair,
they begin to tumble Toward the surface]
FRED: if I am going down you are coming with me!
[He holds onto Fry tighter and Fry struggles to get free, just then two booster
rockets come out of the pack and fire burning Freds arms]
FRED: ahhhh!!! It burns!!!
FRY: alright I am free!
[Just before hitting, the ground Fry come to a stop and Fred smashes into the
FRY: I am going to finish you off once and for all.
[Fry then flies right over Fred and burns him to a crisp with his boosters,
Fry then flies Back to the ship and into the cargo bay.]
[Back on earth]
FARNSWORTH: good news everyone, I have the cure for Frys monster problem.
[He then shoots Fry with a tranquilizer gun and Fry falls over]
FRY: hey what the hell was that for!? I mean that was anticlimactic!
[He then starts to shake and stops moving]
LEELA: my God professor, what have you done!
FARNSWORTH: what he will be ok I think, he should come out normal in a few
[Just then, the shell of the monster starts to shake and Fry emerges from out
of its mouth naked. He does not realize this and everyone starts laughing,]
FRY: hey wait a minute, AHHH!! I am naked!
[He then runs off and hides in a closet. He then comes out still covered in
some slime wearing some pants with an old shirt.]
FRY: I had better get home.
LEELA: wait up Fry, you all should be ashamed of yourselves; I mean you didnt
have to Laugh at him like that.
[Leela runs out and meets up with Fry]
LEELA: where are you going?
FRY: home to take a shower why?
LEELA: I think we need to take a shower.
FRY: Oh, I see, meet you at your place in 10?
LEELA: good idea
FRY: I love you Leela
LEELA: I love you too Fry.
Please send ideas, criticism and praise to GHT