Futurama

Fan Fiction

The Prophecy With No Prophecy
By Rush

Scene: Liberty Meadows Slave Quarters. The slaves sit around in a room.

Fry: 'Can you believe it? Pharaoh's dead!

Slave #1: 'Yes! Tonight we are slaves to no one, except the rhythm!

[He plays bongos. The Australian man stands up and plays some panpipes and another slave plays a tambourine.]

Leela: 'Yeah! Play those bongos!

Fry: 'I'm gonna spin till I fall down! [He spins almost once and falls down. Bender cackles and sneaks out. Fry sees him sneaking out.] (thinking) 'Hmm, what's Bender up to?

Cut to: Outside Liberty Meadows Slave Quarters.

[Bender sees the dog-guards. Their backs are turned to him. He takes a ball out of his chest cabinet and throws it. The dogs see it and run after it, barking. Bender runs off in the opposite direction.]

Scene: Wall of Prophecy. Bender sneaks around to the front of it and takes a hammer out of his chest cabinet.

Bender: 'We interrupt this ancient prophecy to bring you late-breaking bulletin.

Voice: (shouting) 'Hey, Bender what are you doing?

Bender: (scared) 'Who goes there!....Mommy?

[Bender looks around where he had heard the voice and sees Fry walking towards him out from the river.]

Bender: (relied) 'Oh, it's only you Fry.

Fry: 'Yeah, Its me. What are you doing with that hammer?

Bender: 'Oh this? I'm gonna make a carving of myself in the Wall Of Prophecy.

Fry: 'What will that do?

Bender: 'It will make me Pharaoh....idiot!

Fry: (shouting) 'You're going to make us all slaves again aren't you?

Bender: 'You got that right.

Fry: 'I wont let you!

[Fry picks up a rock and throws it at Bender, hitting him in the face.]

Bender: 'Ow! [Rubs his head] Why did you do that for?

[Fry does not answer he justs picks up another rock and throws, it hits his face again.]

Bender: 'Ow! [rubs his head] C'mon! Stop that!

[Fry does not answer he justs picks up another rock and throws, it hits his face yet again.]

Bender: 'Ow! [Rubs his head] Oh that's it, Fry! You're Dead!

[Bender charges towards Fry with the hammer in his hand. With quick thinking Fry throws sand in Bender's eyes. ]

Bender: 'Ah! I cant see nothing!

[Bender falls over and the hammer slips out of his hand.]

Fry: 'Aha!

[Fry picks it up and starts smacking Bender with it.]

Bender:'Ow! Ow! Ow--

[A few hours later Fry is still banging Bender with the hammer.]

Fry: (tiredly) 'Why won't you die?!

Bender: 'I don't k--Ow! Know but y---Ow! You're sure m--Ow! Making me feel and look like a woman. Ow!.

[Bender looks very much like he had looked like in "Bend Her".]

[Fry falls over on the ground due to exhaustion.]

Bender: 'Aha!

[Bender stands up, picks up the hammer with one hand and picks up Fry in the other. ]

Bender: 'I never thought, I had to do this Fry.

Fry: (pleadingly) 'Then don't do it!

[Bender cackles.]

Bender: 'Oh my. You know what Fry. I had seen your love note in space, its one of my favorites.

Fry: 'You did? Why didn't you tell Leela or show it, with your video memory?

Bender: 'I might of, if you had asked.

Fry: 'But, but... I..I..thought.

Bender: 'Enough talk! Time to die!

[Bender pulls back the hammer readying for the kill.]

Bender: 'Say your good byes.

Fry (crying) 'Good bye, Leela!

Bender: 'Now it ends, I will be Pharaoh! [Bender feels someone taping on his shoulder.] Huh? [Looks round to see, a very angry red in the face fuming Leela, steam appears to be literally coming off her.] Leela? I.. I... I... I.. I--

Leela: 'Hi-yah!

[She punches Bender in the face making go into a daze. The hammer falls out of his hand.]

Bende: 'Ow!

Leela: 'Hee-yah

[Leela kicks Bender sending him flying 10 feet into the air, head first into the river .]

Leela: 'Fry! Are you okay?

Fry: (weakly) 'Yea, just very tired.

[Leela helps him up and holds him in her arms to make sure he won't fall. ]

Fry: 'Leela, um--

Leela: (softy) 'Yes, Fry?

Fry: 'I would like if you could take Bender's memory chip.

Leela: 'Oh, Okay? Sure. But what for? We will only mostly see, hard core porn.

Fry: 'Just do it!

[Leela laughs.]

Leela: 'Oh Fry! It's like your the Captain and I'm the Delivery Boy. Wait Delivery girl. Yes! If it really means that much to you, to have Bender's memory chip, I'll take it with me.

[Leela palaces Fry down gently on ground. She then walks over to Bender and opens his head. She takes out the memory chip.]

Leela: 'Got it!

[She walks back to him.]

Leela: [standing over Fry] 'Now can we get back to are slave quarters.

Fry: 'Wait!

Leela: 'What?

Fry: 'Bender! He could try and be Pharaoh again. Finish him off!

Leela: 'Fry! Bender does not have a memory chip!

Fry”And?

Leela: 'And! It means he won't know us, remember or anything. Not even his name!

Fry: 'Ok.

A few hours later.

[The next morning, the High Priest and four other priests stand in front of the wall and the slaves watch.]

High Priest: 'Great Wall of Prophecy, reveal to us God's will that we may blindly obey.

Priests: (chanting) 'Free us from thought and responsibility.

High Priest: 'We shall read things off you.

Priests: (chanting) 'Then do them.

High Priest: 'Your words guide us.

Priests: (chanting) 'We're dumb.

[The slaves watch from below.]

Fry: 'You know what else stinks about being a slave? The hours.

[Leela covers her face with her hand in disbelief and walks over to Fry. ]

Leela: (whispering) 'Fry, there's no new text on the wall of Prophecy.

Fry: (whispering) 'So?

Leela: 'So, they can't name a new Pharaoh.

Fry: (whispering) 'Oh, yeah.

High Priest: 'Hmmm, there seems to be no new text on the wall of Prophecy, so that means, the line of Pharaohs is dead. Which in turn means, that all you slaves are technically free to go.

[All the peoples or in other words slaves cheer in celebration raising their fists. ]

High Priest: 'Oh of course, you will not be free forever.

[All the peoples gasp and the cheering stops.]

Slave #1: 'What?

High Priest: 'I said. Oh of course, you will not be free forever.

Slave #1: 'What? No really I have bad hearing!

High Priest: 'Well according to the wall of Prophecy, if a Pharaoh is not named, the High Priest will have to name a new Pharaoh manually. In which case me!

Slave #2: 'Hey guys!

Slaves: 'Yes?

Slave #2: 'Lets just form a rebel army to fight them.

Slave #3: 'Hey yea! Lets get out of here, and then come back with more numbers. So we can kill these basters!

Slave #2: 'Glory to the Free Peoples Movement.

[The Slave army marches off into the desert they will be back and in grater numbers to kill they ones they had once called master.]

Priest #2: 'We are so dead.

High Priest scared: 'Like how?

Priest #2: 'They have like 8 times as many Men, then are own army's also they are very pi**ed off.

High Priest: 'Yes, indeed we are so doomed.

[Back to Fry and Leela marching with the other Slaves in the desert.]

Leela: (whispering) 'Lets just get to the ship, and get out of here.

Fry: (whispering) 'Agreed.

Cut to: Planet Express Ship's Cockpit. Fry sits in usual seat and Leela sits in driver seat flying the ship.

Fry: 'It sure was nice of Free Peoples Movement to let us go. Wasn't it?

Leela: 'Yea, it sure was.

Fry: 'Hey, Leela, uh,mm, err.

Leela: 'Yes, Fry?

Fry: 'Can you look at Bender's, favourite memories?

Leela: 'Okay? I'll look at it later. But now I'm trying to fly the ship so you know?

[Fry gives Leela a doggy eyes look.]

Fry: 'But you will look at them...right?

Leela: 'Oh right! I'll set the ship to autopilot. I'll have a look at it now okay, you stay here and look after things. Or just do what you want!

Cut to: 'Leela's Cabin. She sits on her bed ready to watch the TV with the memory chip inside the MRC. Leela presses the option button on the remote. Bubble like options appear on the TV screen.

Leela: (reading) 'Umm, okay. Hard core porn, pictures of Amy with Leela's body, times I will not forget, friends list, enemy's list, my first and one true love Countess my memories of her, money schemes, even more options. Aha! Favourites. [She clicks into Favourites some other options appear on the TV screen.] Okay. Um, times with my parallel golden self, times I got drunk out of mind, getting parasailing with movie stars. Fry's love note in space (aka) time skips. Wait! What is this?

[Leela clicks into "Fry's love note in space (aka) time skips" she presses the play button. Bender's video memory of this time appears on the TV screen. In the ship's cockpit there is Fry sitting in the driver seat.]

Fry: 'She's so great. I feel like I can almost remember the magical thing I did to make her love me. But I guess I never will.

Bender: 'Sorry, buddy. I too know what it's like to have a dream I'll never achieve.

[The camera turns and faces the door, the sound of Bender slowly whistling the Globetrotter tune can be heard.]

[Fade out blank.]

[The camera starts up again showing Leela readying the detonator in the cargo bay.

Leela: 'Are you going to help me with this or not?

Bender: 'No! Stop asking.

Leela: 'Fine!

Bender: (thinking) 'I'll just look out of that window over there, you never know what you might see.

[Bender walks to the window and looks outside.]

Bender: 'Woo! [As the ship gets further away from the nebula he sees the stars around it form an "O" in a huge message that reads "I Love You, Leela". Fry didn't put drugs in the champagne, Or used hypnosis. Thats what he must of done, he moved the stars them selves to write her love note in sky!

Leela: 'Detonation in three, two, one.

[The doomsday device implodes and the nebula, the stars and Fry's message disappear. Benders stares at the empty void. ]

Bender: 'Tough luck, Fry!

Leela: 'Bender stop staring out the window, and come on!

Bender: 'Alright, alright.

[Fade out blank.]

[The camera starts up again showing a door opening, when the door is fully opened it reveals Fry looking out the window turning to face the camera.]

Bender: (thinking) 'Fry must of seen it. Alright act like you didn't see nothing. Who knows this could be a good way to blackmail Fry and get money out of him!

Fry: 'Did you see it? Did you see it?

Bender: 'The explosion?

Fry: 'No, not the explosion!

Leela: 'Then what?

[Fry hesitates and lowers his head.]

Fry: (quietly) 'Nothing.

[The camera turns to look at the front of the cockpit.]

Bender: (thinking) 'I'll whistle the Sweet Georgia Brown, to make it just that bit more sad for him.

[Video pauses;Leela sits on her knees crying with her hand on Fry on the TV screen.]

Leela: (crying) 'Oh Fry!.............I.....I I'm sorry. For everything!

[She buries her head in a pillow.]

Meanwhile in some other Universe with a golden Bender who sits a wall drinking a beer bottle.

Bender: [sad] 'I miss my alternate self.

Back to this universe. Leela has stopped crying. She now lies on her bed.

Leela: 'I am totally going to remarry him. But first I will give him a flight home to remember.

Cut to: Fry's and Bender's Quarters. Fry sleeps on the top hammock.

Leela: (intercom) 'Fry, please report to my room immediately!

[Fry jumps awake hitting his head against the ceiling

Fry: 'Ow! [He falls off the hammock.] Ow

Cut to: Outside Leela's Cabin. Fry stands outside.

Fry; 'Um, Leela, can I come in?

[Leela opens the door takes Fry's hand and pulls him inside. ]

Meanwhile Bender awakes in the desert.

Bender: 'Where am I? Who am I?

[A red sports hover-car pulls up to Bender, an manbot who looks like what ever you want him to look like is inside.]

Manbot: 'You look like a fine woman! Want to get in?

Bender: 'Sure.

[A few minuets later.]

Manbot: 'Oh my god! You got a rotor! You're a transvestite!

Bender: 'So?

Manbot: 'Get out!

[The Manbot kicks Bender out of his car.]

[Another sports hover-car pulls up to Bender but this time it does a drive by shooting. Bender sparks and falls to pieces.]

Roberto: [shouting as he is driveling off] 'Don't tell nobody I killed you, with this microwave gun!

End

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