Beelzebot's Hands Are Idol Playthings
Scene: Metropolitan House of Opera Auditorium. Leela shuffles past the other staff and sits back in her seat. Fry plays the scene in Robot Hell where the Robot Devil decided whose hands to give him. Holo-Fry sees Leela as an angel on a cloud.]
Holo-Fry: (singing) 'To win Leela's heart with the holophonors art, I need hands of transcendental quickness.
Holo-Robot Devil: (singing) 'Well I don't see any danger, in gambling with a stranger, for my head is of a most amazing thickness. [He spins the wheel and falls over. The audience laughs. At the back of the room the Robot Devil sees and growls. He stands up.] I'm stupid, I'm stupid, I'm stupider than you, I'm stupider than you in every way.
[The real Robot Devil jumps onto the stage.]
Robot Devil: 'Stupider? Pah! This opera's as lousy as it is brilliant! [He kicks the Holo-Robot Devil actor off the stage. The audience gasps. Fry stops playing and the holo-scene fades, leaving the Holo-Fry actor standing on the stage in his underpants.] Your lyrics lack subtlety. You can't just have your characters announce how they feel. That makes me feel angry.
Fry: 'Look, what do you want?
Robot Devil: (singing) 'I want my hands back.
[He laughs and columns of flame explode behind him. Fry stands up.]
Fry: 'Never! (singing) A deal's a deal, even with a filthy dealer.
Robot Devil: (singing) 'Very well, then I'll take what I want from Leela.
[The spotlight moves from the stage to Leela. Beelzebot extends his arms and pulls her from her seat onto the stage.]
Robot Devil: (singing) 'Leela has promised me her hand.
[The audience gasps.]
Leela: (singing) 'Fry, you do not understand. [The music slows down and the spotlight narrows as Leela walks across the stage.] I should have revealed I've been deafened by Bender, the shame, the shame, but I feared you'd stop writing this musical splendour, deception's the curse of my whimsical gender, he gave me mechanical ears, effective though just a bit garish, in return without shedding a tear, I agreed that I'd give him my hand--
Robot Devil: (singing) In marriage!
Robot Devil: (singing) 'You'd give me your hand in marriage.
[He gets down on one knee. The audience watches. Farnsworth watches through some opera glasses which are just as thick as his normal ones.]
Hermes: (singing) 'Is this really happening or just being staged?
Farnsworth: (singing) 'It can't be real--
Amy: (singing) 'Not if Leela is engaged.
Leela: (singing) 'That isn't what I meant, That isn't what I signed.
[The Robot Devil takes the contract out of his chest cabinet.]
Robot Devil: (singing) 'You should have checked the wording in the fine... [He makes the contract larger.] Print.
Leela: (reading) 'I'll give you my hand...
Leela and Robot Devil: (singing) In marriage.
[In the audience, Bender reads from a dictionary.]
Bender: (singing) 'The use of words expressing something other than their literal intention, now that is "irony".
[The Robot Devil pulls Preacherbot out of his seat and onto the stage.]
Robot Devil: (singing) 'I will marry her now and confine her to hell, how droll, how droll! Where Styx is a river, and not just a band, Though they'll play our reception if all goes as planned, unless, Fry, you surrender my hands!
[Fry looks at the hands on his wrists. The spotlight narrows over him.]
Fry: (shouting) 'No, the hands are mine. Marry Leela, I don't care either way.
[The audience gasp, and there is a sound of Bender dropping a brick.]
Leela: (crying) 'Fry! What the hell are you saying?! You're joking right, right?
Fry: (quietly) 'No.
Robot Devil: 'I shall take her there, with me to marry me.
[Leela screams "Fry" as she disappears with the Robot Devil in an explosion of flame. The audience "boo" and throw papers at Fry while they begin to leave. A brick comes flying towards Fry's face hitting him in the forehead knocking him to the ground.]
Bender: (shouting) 'Take that you heartless bastard! Come on, let's get outta here!
Scene: Metropolitan House of Opera. In the silence and emptiness of the place, Fry with a big bruise on his forehead on the stage gets up onto his feet.
Fry: 'It is done, with no more than being knocked out and getting a bruise on the head. [He walks off the stage heading towards an exit up in the middle of the aisles of seats.]
Scene: Robot Hell. The Robot Devil sits on an high red spiky metal throne with stone steps up to it, while crying Leela before him at the bottom of the steps, with two slave ball chains one attached to each of her shins, and her hands have been laser handcuffed.
Robot Devil: (thoughtfully) 'Hmm, let me think--
Leela: (crying) 'Fry, how could you do this to me?! I thought you loved me?! I thought you were different to other men. And--
Robot Devil: (shouting) 'Shut up I'm trying to find away of torturing you! (thoughtfully) 'She's a Human, that means she's an organic life form and very weak to physical harm--
Leela: (crying) 'Fry! Why?! Why?! Why?! Why?! This can't be real it's a nightmare. Fry would never do this to me!
Robot Devil: (shouting) 'Shut up! Shut up! (thoughtfully) Hmm, so I can't torture her like the rest of the robots here.
Leela: (crying) 'Nooo, why would Fry do this to me?! The Fry I know would never even think of doing this to me. That's it, he wasn't the real Fry, and when the real Fry finds out where I am, he'll get me out of here and we can be together.
Robot Devil: (shouting) 'For the last time will you shut the hell up! [He snaps his fingers.] (normally) I've got it, I can't believe I couldn't think of it earlier! I'll torture her cycle-logically. [The Robot Devil stands up off his throne slowly making his way down the steps towards Leela.] Ah, this is gonna be so much fun. I can't remember the last time I got to torture a Human. [He reaches shivering Leela at the the bottom of the steps looking down on the floor.] Leela, do you remember the Cookieville Orphanarium, where you were so alone and unloved and where all the kids use to laugh at you, and call you "One Eye". [She does not respond.] Well at any rate, I'm sure you do. For prepare to live it again! [Small robots themed like the orphans of Leela's childhood surround her, all pointing and laughing saying "One Eye" over and over again.]
Leela: (crying) 'Leave me alone! Please! (screaming) Leave me alone!
Robot Devil: 'Muahahaha, muahahaha, mmmmyeeeaaaaahhhhhsssss! This is Robot Hell, and you will stay here until you wither and die for I am eternal. Oh this is most fun, it's just the parts that Fry left out in his Opera for you!
Leela: (shouting) 'That wasn't Fry!
Robot Devil: 'Losing your touch with reality already? (shouting) It was Fry, and you know it!
Leela: (shouting) 'It can't of been Fry isn't like that! (emotionally) I know in my heart that wasn't Fry. (angrily, her eye narrowed) And if I was free from these chains I would kill you. I mean it, (shouting) I would kill you!
Robot Devil: 'But what about the time Fry tricked you into marrying him?!
Leela: 'Good point, but I myself over the last few weeks was beginning to think it wasn't a trick after all.
Robot Devil: 'Oh! Anyway, one eye!
Orphan Themed Robots: 'One eye! One eye! One eye!
Leela: (crying) 'Go away, just leave me alone!
Robot Devil and Orphan Themed Robots: 'One eye! One eye! One eye!
Robot Devil: 'Oh, and of course this is just for starters. Mutated freak!
Leela: (shouting) 'Shut up!
Orphan Themed Robots: 'Mutated freak! Mutated freak! Mutated freak!
Robot Devil: 'Mutated freak! Fry does not love you because you're a mutant born down in the sewers of New New York!
Leela: (crying) 'Fry does so love me, he doesn't care if I'm a mutant or not, he loves me for who I am. And he even said to me himself that fact that I'm a mutant doesn't change anything about how I feel about you.
Robot Devil: 'Oh, well I'm stumped. Put her in her cell. [His Hellbots pick her up and carry her along out of sight.]
Cut to: Cell. It is a pitch dark cell, with only light coming from under the steel door. Which opens showing Leela to be thrown in by the Hellbots landing on her backside, and they slam the door afterwards laughing. A metal tray is slipped under the door, with a blue see through plastic cup of water and a loaf of bread.
Leela: (crying) 'Fry, where are you? [She pushes the tray to one side away from the door.] Wait! [Leela bends herself trying to lean under the door, but she just ends up bumping her head against it.] Ow! Oh, I wish I was as good as Hermes at limboing, then I could get under that door.
Scene: New New York. Fry walks down a dark lonely alleyway.
Fry: 'Ah, nothing like the coldness of the night. [Sound of shouting.]
Voice: (shouting) 'There he is!
[From behind Fry, there is an angry mob of sewer mutants (including Leela's parents Morris and Munda) holding torchs and metal pipes.]
Munda: 'You sent our daughter to hell! You bastard!
Morris: 'Beat the crap out of him, if not kill him. [Fry turns away, and takes out of his tux a silver ball with a pin.] He's got a bomb!
[Fry pulls the pin and then throws it over his shoulder creating a blinding flash.]
Morris: 'I can't see anything!
Mutant #1: 'I'm blind!
Mutant #2: 'Me too!
Fry: 'It'll ware off in a few days. I must go now, bye!
Scene: Robot Arms Apartments: Corridor. Fry opens his apartment door, only to have a big black suitcase thrown at him knocking him to the ground, followed by a shopping trolley speeding out hitting the wall and then falling over onto it's side.
Bender: (shouting/from inside) 'Get the hell outta here you monster! And don't come back!
[Fry stands up, and then begins to walk away.]
Fry: 'Keep my stuff I shall not be needing it.
Scene: Robot Arms Apartments: Corridor. Fry walks down the corridor, Bender comes into view from behind Fry running towards him.
Bender: 'I'm gonna bend you Fry!
[Fry turns around.]
Fry: 'You forget I still have the the Robot Devil's Hands! [When Bender reaches Fry, he gives him a punch in the jaw.] Ow, fair play. [Fry returns a punch at Bender's chest, sending him flying across the corridor smashing through a wall, leaving the shape/silhouette of Bender's body on the wall showing New New York outside.] But you lose. [He proceeds to walk down the corridor.]
Cut to: Outside Robot Arms Apartments. Bender falls down speedily towards the street below.
Bender: 'Oh, I better fall on something soft.
Cut to: Lower Ground. A green open on the top hover dumpster truck drives along the road, Bender falls in the container filled with compost.
Bender: 'Ewww! God! [He climbs out of it, jumping onto the road.] That's disgusting! I better go have a shower!
Scene: Robot Hell: Prison Cell Hallway. A Hellbot opens a cell door, only to be bashed on both sides of his head with two metal balls attached to chains, all together smashing his whole head to tiny pieces. Leela walks out (with no hand cuffs) the slave chains are no longer attached to her shins, instead she holds one in each hand like flails/maces.
Scene: Robot Hell: Corridor. In a damp dark corridor with water dripping from the ceiling two Hellbots walk down it, Leela comes out from the shadows, one of the the Hellbots picks up a metal poll off the floor, then charges at Leela. When the Hellbot reaches Leela, it hits her on the leg with the poll.
Leela: 'Ow! (screaming) Die! [She swings her slave chain, hitting the poll, knocking it out of the Hellbot's hands, them with her other slave chain she hits him on the leg, causing him to fall over onto it's back, then finishes it off, swinging her other slave chain downwards onto his face, smashing his whole head to tiny pieces. Leela narrows her eye at the other Hellbot, who's just turned away to run, Leela throws one of her slave chains, it spins in the air as it speedily head towards the running Hellbot, hitting him on the head, smashing his whole head to tiny pieces, and of course making it's body fall chest first onto the ground. Leela walks over the headless corpse of the Hellbot, and picks back up her slave chain. Dozens of Hellbots round a corner, armed with red steel devil tridents, who run around her at a distance surrounding her.
Leela: 'Bring it on! [The Hellbots charge, Leela does a spinning swing around in a circle with both of her slave chains, knocking many devil tridents out of Hellbots' hands, not to mention bashing the heads off many of them, knocking over many of them onto the ground, and very badly injuring or breaking many body parts off.] How do you like that?! [Some Hellbots back off a slight bit, while two others charge at her from the front, with a swing from one of her slave chains she knocks the both of their devil tridents out of their hands, while with the other slave chain she bashes both of their heads off. All the while one other devil armed with a trident charges at her from behind, Leela with lightning speed kicks the Hellbot from behind between the legs (making him fall over in pain.) without even turning around.] Ahhh! [With a downward swing, Leela bashes the head of the Hellbot from behind her on the floor, smashing his whole head to tiny pieces, she does the same to many other Hellbots on the ground.] Die! Die! Die! Die! Die-- [The remaining six standing Hellbots exchange looks.]
Cut to: Different Part Of Robot Hell: The Robot Devil paces back and forth near his throne.
Robot Devil: 'What's taking them so long? She's in need of her daily torturing! Unless ... [Dozen of Hellbots can be seen running.] Ah! Let her have her fun.
Cut to: Corridor. Six Hellbots can be seen running past a rusty metal wall with all kinds of robots stuck onto it with chains, Leela comes running around a corner.
Leela: 'Run cowards! Run!
Voice: (machine-like, anonymous voice) 'Human female!
[Leela looks over at the robot attached to the wall with chains, looking like Farnsworth's first model Bending Unit.]
Bending Unit: 'Don't even think about doing what I'm gonna ask you now to do with the other the robots they would kill you. Anyway, can you get me down from here?
Leela: 'And as soon as I do you'll kill me?
Bending Unit: 'Nah nah, the name's Bendy-Flex I was only sent here for throwing that resistor thingy in the trash after leaving Robotology, other than that I was a pretty swell guy like your friend Bender Bending Rodriguez.
Leela: 'I'm listening.
Bendy-Flex: 'OK, here's the deal if you get me down from here I'll help you get us both out of this place, I know the way. Hell, I'll even fight alongside with you.
Leela: 'Ok, but if you turn on me I'm gonna bash your face in.
[She hits Bendy-Flex's chain braces with her slave chains, letting him loose onto his feet off the wall.]
Bendy-Flex: 'Thanks. [He pulls a red metal pipe off the ground, then begins to walk down the corridor.] Let's go. [Leela follows.]
Scene: The Robot Devil sits on his throne surrounded by dozens of his Hellbots, armed with devil tridents. Leela and Bendy-Flex come into view rounding a corner.
Bendy-Flex: 'Oh, crap! I led you the wrong way.
Robot Devil: 'That you did. [He presses a button, a trap door opens from under Bendy-Flex, which he falls down into the pit.]
Bendy-Flex: 'I'm boooooned--
Robot Devil: 'Attack! [His Hellbots drop their devil tridents and run away.] Come back you cowards. [Leela walks up the steps towards him.] Oh, crap. [Beelzebot himself begins to run, Leela drops her slave chains and then chases after him.] Ahhhh!
Scene: Robot Hell: Corridor. The Robot Devil runs down the dark corridor, with Leela not far behind.
Robot Devil: 'Help me! [A rope is dropped from the ceiling, which the Robot Devil grabs onto, and he is pulled by six of his Hellbots above a hole leading to the surface.]
Leela: [just catching up] (shouting) 'You coward! (calmly) Now, since they are all gone. It's time to find away out of here. [She looks above her, at a sign which says "Exit's this way".]
[Time Lapse. Leela comes to a tunnel up a steep angle with a shining light at the end much like a mine.]
Leela: 'I'm free. [She begins to run up the slope.]
Voice: 'Leela. [Leela stops in her tracks and turns around to see the Robot Devil with hundreds of his Hellbots, armed with devil tridents.]
Robot Devil: 'You're not leaving us are you?
Leela: 'I am, you're not gonna stop me!
Robot Devil: 'Oh, really. What if I had your parents killed--
Leela: 'You're bluffing!
[Hellbots make space to show Munda and Morris in chains, with other Hellbots with knifes to their necks.]
Robot Devil: 'Before your very eyes?
Leela: (tears filling her eye) 'Mom ... Dad?
Munda: (shouting) 'Go! Get out of here!
Morris: (shouting) 'Don't worry about us!
Robot Devil: 'If you leave they die, or if you back to your cell, they live.
Robot Devil: 'Then they die!
Leela: 'Also never!
Robot Devil: 'On the count of 10. They die.
[A tear runs down Leela's cheek.]
Robot Devil: 'Yes?
Leela: 'You win. I'll go back to my cell. [Hellbots rush toward her wrap chains around and her, then carry her off.]
Flashback: In a dark alleyway, Leela's parent along with many other mutants pace around, holding onto each other.
Morris: 'OK! Where's the manhole?
[Pan over Munda picking up a manhole.]
Munda: 'I found it!
[Dozen of Hellbots armed with blerns ball bats along with the Robot Devil, run into the alleyway and beat the mutants with the bats, who cry out in pain.
Morris: [hit by a Hellbot] 'Ow! What's going on?! [He's hit again, knocking him to the ground.] Ow!
Munda: 'We're being attacked! [Hit by a Hellbot, knocking her to the ground.] Ow!
Mutant: #1 'We're blind, leave us alone!
Mutant: #2 'Yeah. [Hit by a Hellbot.] Ow!
Robot Devil: 'Remember do not kill any of them! Just take Leela's parents! [Some other Hellbots, pick up Morris and Munda and run off with them.]
Present Day: In the darkness of the night in New New York, Farnsworth (dressed in his long brown coat, scarf, driving goggles, and driving gloves as seen in "Teenage Mutant Leela's Hurdles") and Hermes (wearing exactly the same outfit.) in a hover world war 2 German like motorbike (it's engine roaring very loudly) with an attached seat to the side, that Farnsworth is in, while Hermes is in the driver seat, drive down on the road.
Farnsworth: 'Drive, Hermes! Drive!
Hermes: 'Right, Professor! Driving!
Farnsworth: 'Drive faster!
Scene: Space. The Nimbus remains stationary in space, Earth can be seen in the background.
Cut to: Cockpit. Zapp paces back and forth, while Kif sits at the co-ordinates controls.
Zapp: 'I knew he was bad that ... that ... what is his name Kif?
Zapp: 'Yes, that Fry, the hair pile! I knew he was bad! We have to get Leela out of Robot Hell!
Kif: 'But we don't know where it is.
Zapp: 'Oh, crap. [He sits down on the driver seat.] How about arresting Fry then?
Kif: 'We don't know that either.
Zapp: 'What do we know then?!
Kif: 'He's somewhere in New New York.
Zapp: 'That's it. We will destroy all of New New York to make sure he dies in there.
Kif: (shocked) 'What?! Think about all the innocent civilians that would be killed in the crossfire!
Zapp: 'Oh, yes. The civilians, I always forget about the civilians. [He stands up, going back to pacing back and forth about the room again.] Back to the drawing board.
Kif: 'May I suggest something?
Zapp: 'Whatever it is, no! Weak little pitiful pansies like you don't know how to fight wars!
Kif: 'Yes we do. And this isn't a war, we're just trying to find one man, and--
Zapp: 'Not another word! [He sits back down on his seat.] Now, give me a back rub to help me think. [Kif stutters raising his hand, then lowers it back down sighing. Kif reluctantly gets up off his seat, walks over to Zapp, and then rubs his back.] (sexfully) Mmmm! A little lower. Lower. Lower. A lot lower. Too low! ... Lower! [Kif sighs again.]
Scene: New New York City Street. Farnsworth and Hermes still in the hover motorbike (the engine making a low rumbling noise), drive at a slow speed as they approach a gate to central park
Farnsworth: 'Oh, I think we'll never find him.
Hermes: 'How about we go check the Cryogenics Lab?
Farnsworth: 'That sounds like a good place to look. Let's go there.
Cut to: Outside Applied Cryogenics. The hover motorbike pulls up to the pavement, Farnsworth and Hermes taking the keys, get off it, then head inside the building.
Scene: Applied Cryogenics: Hallway. Farnsworth and Hermes walk past Sal (wearing a blue security guard uniform and a hat) lying on his back asleep on the floor snoring loudly.
Hermes: 'Ha! Security here stinks.
[Farnsworth presses a button on the wall, opening a elevator; and they both enter inside.
Cut to: Corridor. Farnsworth and Hermes step out of the elevator on the 64th floor. They open the door and enter inside; marked "Applied Cryogenics". A dusty sign underneath indicates "No Power Failures Since 199".
Cut to: Applied Cryogenics: Freezer Room. Farnsworth and Hermes enter the room, walk over to the wide window showing the city outside.
Farnsworth: 'Oh, he's not here.
Hermes: [pointing] 'Professor!
Farnsworth: 'What? [He looks over to one of the freezer pods to see Fry frozen in one wearing his usual clothes; also handless.] Fry?! He's got no hands!
Hermes: 'Let's not question him about that yet.
Farnsworth: 'Very well. Get him out of there.
[Hermes turns the dial, setting it to zero, the freezer pod's door opens.]
Fry: [finishing a sentence] '… Away with it! … (confused) Wait! Where, did he go? [He steps out of the freezer pod.] Professor, Hermes?
Hermes: 'Yes mon, it's us.
Farnsworth: 'Fry, how along have you been in there?!
Fry: 'Since Curtis J. Fry pushed me in here, when he held me up at gun point as I walked home after playing the holophonor on the upper balcony at work with Leela, and asking her out on a real date.
Farnsworth: 'Curtis? Who's he?
Fry: 'Apparently he's my evil alternate self.
Farnsworth: 'Evil you say? Wait! (shouting) Fry, what the hell were you thinking?! I told you never to open that box! Evil Universe 666, you know the red one that's wrapped in chains with a lock, and always shaking about and making banging noises, as if something inside is trying to escape out of it!
Fry: 'But it wasn't--
Farnsworth: (shouting) 'Do you realize that possibly the fate of all life, and maybe the entire universe itself may be at stake here?! From the evil you have unleashed! And--
Fry: (shouting) 'It wasn't me!
Farnsworth: (calmly) 'Oh, sorry for shouting at you there.
Fry: 'It's all right. I get it all the time.
Farnsworth: (calmly) 'Anyhoo, how did you end up in the freezer pod?
Fry: 'Well as I told you before, when I was held up at gun point--
Flashback: New New York. Fry walks down the pavement at night, Curtis comes slightly out from an alleyway wearing a tux and points a laser pistol at Fry.
Curtis: (quietly) 'Do exactly what I say. Or I blast you to dust.
[Bender is nearly out of sight, just up ahead along the pavement.]
Bender: (shouting) 'Fry?! Come on!
Curtis: (quietly) 'Say I'll catch up to you later. I have somethings to do.
Fry: (shouting) 'I'll catch up to you later. I have somethings to do.
Bender: (shouting) 'All right see ya later.
[Bender goes onward disappearing from sight.]
Curtis: (quietly) 'Now, move. Let's go to the Cryogenics Lab. [Curtis and Fry enter an alleyway.]
Cut to: Alleyway. Fry with Curtis behind him with the gun out aimed at his back walk along the pavement.
Fry: 'Who the hell are you?! How do you look exactly like me, and sound etcetera?
Curtis: 'Wait. [He takes out a small metal rod, presses a round red button on it, igniting a long red laser beam making humming noises out from it, revealing it's a lightsaber.]
Fry: (nervously) 'Wa … What are-are you gonna do-do with that?!
Curtis: 'Cut you're hands off. Now, stay still. [He chops his hands off. Fry screams in pain, and falls over onto the ground, blood comes rapidly out from his wrists, Curtis turns off the lightsaber, takes out a spray can, and sprays it on Fry's wrists, It heals the wounds, and stops the bleeding. Fry still remains on the ground winching in pain.] Now now, It's not that painful [He takes out a syringe, and injects it into his left wrist, then throws it away. He turns the lightsaber back on, cuts his own left hand off, he does not bleed nor cry out in pain; and places it in his pocket. He turns off the lightsaber, then picks up the Robot Devil's left hand, and attaches it to his left wrist. He then takes out another syringe, and injects it into his right wrist, then throws it away. Turns on the lightsaber cuts his own right hand off; and places it in his pocket, then picks up the Robot Devil's right hand, and attaches it to his right wrist.] Now since that's overwith, and since you will not be able to tell the tale for another thousand years from now, with only a few smart people, and people with crazy conspiracy theories to believe your story. So anyway I might as well tell you. I am Curtis J. Fry from Evil Universe 666. That your idiot of a friend Zoidberg opened, to see if there was any food in there.
Flashback Within A Flashback: Planet Express: Farnsworth's Lab. Zoidberg walks curiously into the room sniffing the air.
Zoidberg: 'Mmm … [Noticing something] What's this? [He looks over at a red box on a table, wrapped in chains with a lock marked "Evil Universe 666", it shakes around and makes banging noises, as if something inside is trying to escape out of it.] Ohh, food could be in there? [He takes a key out from his pocket.] And I got the key. [He opens the chains, the box suddenly stops moving. Curtis (wearing a tux) jumps out of the box into the air landing beside Zoidberg.] Fry?
Curtis: 'Yes, it's me. Just hand me the key Zoidberg, and I'll lock the box. [Zoidberg hands Curtis the key, and he locks the chains' lock.] Here you go. [He places it back in Zoidberg's pocket.] There you go, see ya later. [He begins to walk out the room.]
Zoidberg: 'Wait, Fry! Was there any food in there?
Curtis: 'I'm afraid not Zoidberg.
Zoidberg: (sad) 'Aww! [He too begins to walk out the room.]
[The box goes back to it's usual shaking about, and making banging noises.]
Back To Present Flashback: Back in the Alleyway. Fry still lies on the ground moaning in pain.
Curtis: 'Get up now! [He kicks him.] Up! [He drags him along the ground.]
Fry: (shouting) 'Ok! OK! I'll get up. [Curtis grabs his arm picking him up onto his feet.] Um, th--
Curtis: 'Be silent.
[Time Lapse: Fry struggling as Curtis forcefully pulls him across a deserted street with the Applied Cryogenics building on the other side.]
Fry: (shouting) 'No, I don't want to be frozen, again. Somebody help! Please! (screaming) Help meeeee!
Curtis: 'Shut up! [Curtis pushes Fry inside.]
Cut to: Corridor. Fry is being dragged on the floor by Curtis coming out of the elevator on the 64th floor. Curtis opens the door and enters "Applied Cryogenics".
Cut to: Applied Cryogenics: Freezer Room. Curtis picks Fry up, and forcefully pulls him along to a freezer pod.
Fry: 'Whatever your plan is [Curtis pushes him inside] you're [Curtis closers the door on him.] not gonna get-- [With a flash his sentence is cut short when he's suddenly frozen in time automatically set for 1000 years.]
Present Day: Back in Applied Cryogenics: Freezer Room. With Fry, Hermes and Farnsworth.
Farnsworth: (angrily) 'Oh, that Zoidberg, no wonder he gave me the key back! Hermes, remind me to fire that employee. (normally) Since I'm very forgetful.
Hermes: [writing down on a notepad with a pen.] 'Right, Professor!
[A door opens from across the room from them, Curtis walks in; Fry, Farnsworth and Hermes gasp.]
Curtis: 'Yes, it's me. But that's besides the point … Give me the key to my home Evil Universe 666!
Hermes: 'Why not just break the lock and chains?
Curtis: 'I've tried that, it's seems unbreakable even with a lightsaber. Now, hand over the key!
Curtis: 'Well, I'm afraid I must kill you all then. [He takes out his lightsaber, turning it on.] Prepare to die. [Hermes and Fry scream.]
Farnsworth: 'I don't think so! [Farnsworth takes out a small red ray gun pistol (colored grey on the tip shaped like a magnet), and fires it. With lightning like speed Curtis's lightsaber is pulled out of his hands, into Farnsworth left hand.] Now, I got your lightsaber.
Fry: 'Cool! Way to go Professor! [Curtis takes out his laser pistol.] Look out! [Hermes screams.]
[Farnsworth fires his ray gun again. With lightning like speed Curtis's laser pistol is pulled out of his hands, into Farnsworth left hand.]
Farnsworth: 'Have we not learned anything?
Curtis: 'Oh, damn! [Farnsworth fires his ray gun, pulling Curtis's left hand off (Robot Devil's left hand) with lightning like speed, landing at Farnsworth's feet.] Crap. [He takes out his old left hand from his pocket, and reattaches it to his left wrist, Farnsworth fires his ray gun yet again, pulling Curtis's right hand off (Robot Devil's right hand) with lightning like speed, landing at Farnsworth's feet.] Ahhh! [He takes out his old right hand from his pocket, and reattaches it to his right wrist.] I lose.
Farnsworth: 'Indeed. [Hermes turns off the lightsaber, picks up the Robot Devil's hands, and attaches them to Fry's wrists.] Now, come with us so we can send you back to where you came from.
Curtis: 'Well, I guess I have no choice in the matter. [Hermes from behind grabs his hands, and puts a pair of laser handcuffs on them.] Now, I really have no choice.
Scene: Outside Applied Cryogenics. Curtis, followed by Hermes, Fry and Farnsworth walk out of the building.
Farnsworth: 'Go off home bike. [The hover motorbike flies off into the air out of sight.] Any time now autopilot.
Fry: 'Autopilot? Why can't Leela--
Farnsworth: 'Uh, Fry … I don't know how to break this to you, but Leela's in Robot Hell.
Fry: (shocked) 'What?!
Farnsworth: 'Now, Fry don't be alarmed! [The Planet Express ship lands on the road next to the pavement beside them.] We'll probably get her free if you give Robot Devil's Hands back. [Fry runs up the steps of the PE ship.] I'll take that as a "yes". Come on, Hermes! [Pointing at Curtis.] And you!
Curtis: 'Oh, All right.
Scene: Outside Reckless Ted's Funland. The PE ship lands outside the abandoned amusement park.
Scene: Robot Hell. The Robot Devil sits on his throne with Bender before him.
Bender: 'C'mon, give me my crotch plate back!
Robot Devil: 'In exchange for?
Robot Devil: 'No.
Robot Devil: 'No.
Robot Devil: 'No.
Bender: 'Alcohol, porn and cigars?
Robot Devil: 'No.
Bender: 'Ah, c'mon!
Robot Devil: 'Bender, you gotta give me something more worthwhile then porn, alcohol or cigars in order for me to give back your crotch plate.
Bender: 'One, porn is so worthwhile! As long as you don't have to pay for it. I got all the good free porn links on the internet and downloaded all the best porno movies. Two, I've got banned alcoholic drinks from all across the universe's black-market's. Three, I got hundreds of Zubans cigars the finest cigars in the universe . And I can give it all to you, if you'd give me back my crotch plate.
Robot Devil: 'For the last time no. Unless you can come up with something better to give me.
Bender: 'C'mon! Already! Wait, I can get you some fine looking female porno moive stars and hookers?
[The Robot Devil sighs with his left (Fry's left hand) hand covering his face.]
Robot Devil: 'No.
Bender: 'Aw, c'mon! Wait, what about; alcohol, porn, cigars, porno moive stars and hookers?
Robot Devil: 'No.
Bender: 'God! What does it take to please you?! [Fry, Curtis, Farnsworth, and Hermes walk up the steps.] Two Frys. Oh, wait one must be the good Fry.
Robot Devil: 'Good Fry?! [He runs towards Fry, and kneels down at his feet crying.] (crying) Please, give me my hands backs! And I'll free Leela and her parents, and I'll give Bender's crotch plate back. (hopefully) Deal?
Fry: 'Deal. [The Robot Devil hands Fry a meat cleaver, Fry quickly chops and swaps hands. Robot Devil looks at his old hands with a ridiculously happy look on his face.]
Robot Devil: 'Oh, my hands I missed you so much! [A Hellbot hands Bender his crotch plate, Bender kisses it then, reattaches it to his ass.]
Curtis: 'Those hands should be mine! [Leela and plus Morris and Munda not chained up or anything walk up the steps.] Oh, crap.
Curtis: 'Shut up you one eyed freak of nature! [Leela kicks Curtis, sending him flying in the air down the steps.] Ow!
Fry: 'You shut up! [They all laugh, but then all go suddenly silent; as Leela walks up to Fry. Bender giggling elbows Farnsworth, and he nods.]
Leela: (soft) 'Fry, is it really you?
Fry: (nervously) 'Um, I-I, ere--
Leela: (soft) 'It is you!
[Leela pulls him into a bear hug.]
[All says "Awww" apart from Curtis down below the steps.]
Curtis: 'Oh, please!
Bender: 'What are we gonna do with that bastard?!
Farnsworth: 'Send him back from whence he came.
Scene: Planet Express: Farnsworth's Lab. Bender, Morris, Hermes, Munda, Leela and Fry restrain struggling Curtis, while Farnsworth walks over to the table with the red box of "Evil Universe 666" holding the key, and unlocks the chains around it, Fry, Bender, Munda, Morris, Leela and Hermes forcefully pull struggling Curtis towards the box.]
Curtis: (shouting) 'Noooooooooooooooooooooooo! I almost had the Robot Devil's hands! [They push him inside the box.] (screaming) Ahhhhhh! [Farnsworth locks the box's chains sealing it shut.]
Fry: 'Well we got rid of that annoying evil parallel self of me, so what now?
Farnsworth: 'I'm off to bed. [He walks out of the room.]
Hermes: 'I'm off home. [He and Bender walk out of the room.]
Bender: 'Me too.
[The only people left in the room are; Fry Leela, Munda and Morris]
Fry: 'Yeah, I think I'll go home too. [Leela takes hold of his hand, with a smile on her face.] Leela? [Leela turns to her parents, who smile and nod.]
Leela: 'So Fry, how about that date tonight at the movies?
Fry: 'Sure. [Leela suddenly pulls him close and kisses him.] (shocked) Hmm? (relaxed) Mmm!
And Zoidberg was fired replaced by someone who actually knows how to be a doctor, also Fry and Leela are now dating if you have not guessed that already in a relationship.