Awkward Meeting (and other stuff)
Scene: Conference Room. All the PE staff sit around the conference table.
Bender: 'Remember how Eleanor Roosevelt died?
[Farnsworth and Fry shake their heads side to side.]
Leela: 'Yeah, the woman who was blown up by a laser from a time traveler.
[Farnsworth takes off his glasses and shifts his eyes side to side.]
Rush: 'This fan fiction is too short even to my standards so here's random scene that has nothing to do with the fan fiction above, which also has “In-A-Gadda-Da-Leela" spoilers.
Scene: Inside Planet Express over looking the hanger. Farnsworth can be heard laughing maniacally.]
[Cut to: Farnsworth's Lab with a close-up of Farnsworth doing so.]
Farnsworth: Let's see how crazy I am now, Nixon! [Pan back to reveal he is actually speaking to Nixon and the entire Planet Express crew] The correct answer is: very.
Nixon: 'Alright, Professor. Sock it to me!
Farnsworth: 'Top secret news, everyone! I've developed a tiny one-man stealth fighter that's virtually undetectable.
Zapp: [coming out of a barrel] 'How undetectable?
Farnsworth: 'It's right in front of you.
Zapp: [walking toward a seemingly empty space] 'I find that—OW! [bumps into something]—to believe.
[Farnsworth hits a button revealing the now visible ship as everyone looks in amazement.]
Bender: 'But how exactly is this Happy Meal toy gonna destroy a giant death sphere?
Farnsworth: 'From within. This ship should be able to sneak undetected through the sphere's one vulnerable opening.
Hermes: 'What vulnerable opening?
Farnsworth: 'All death spheres have one vulnerable opening.
Zoidberg: 'Well, sure, but who's brave enough to fly into something we all keep calling a "death sphere"?
Nixon: 'I say Brannigan.
[There is a blinding flash of light next to the stealth fighter followed by the appearance of an U-J-Bender. ]
U-J-Bender: 'How about me?
[All hum and nod in agreement.]
Cut to: Space. V-GINY flies through space. Then all of a sudden the anomaly from the "The Beast With A Billion Backs" opens up, dozens of Yivo's genticles come out from the anomaly, grab V-GINY and start squeezing him. V-GINY fires at Yivo's genticles which has no effect on them, squeeze him till V-GINY explodes, then his genticles go back inside the anomaly, followed by it shortly closing up after.
Nixon: 'Well, that takes care of that.
U-J-Bender: 'And Leela doesn't have-to have sex with Zapp!
Leela: (shouting) 'I'd never have sex with Zapp, again.
[U-J-Bender disappears with a blinding flash of light.]
Put Your Head on my Shoulder
Scene: Planet Express: Farnsworth's Lab. Bender walks in with lot's of money in his hands.
Bender: 'Yep, everything worked out great thanks to good old Bender.
Leela: 'Come on! It's not like you intentionally set us up with bad dates so we'd spend Valentine's Day together.
Bender: 'Didn't I, Leela? Didn't I?
[He winks and a heart wipe closes the scene but opens up again.]
Leela: 'No! You didn't! You just corralled a bunch of stiffs at the bus station and pocketed our money!
Bender: 'True. But in the end, isn't that what Valentine's Day is really all about?
Fry: 'I guess so. [Bender laughs and puts his arms around Fry and Leela and pats them.] Watch the neck! Watch the neck!
[He kicks Bender's ass, which sets it alight with a huge flame sending him speedily though the ceiling, leaving a hole in it that is the shape of Bender's body, Fry and Leela pick up and pocket the money he dropped.]
Cut to: New New York Skyline. Bender flies around in circles though the air.
U-J-Bender: 'Weeee! Look at my ass is on fire making me fly through the air. [The fire coming out from his ass stutters and goes out.] Uh-oh! [He begins to fall down from the sky rapidly.] (streaming) Ahhhhhhhhhh--
Cut to: New New York shore line. Where Planet Express can be seen in the background. Bender falls into the sea, creating a huge splash.
Cut to: Closer to shore. Bender submerges walking onto a small beach.
Bender: 'Luckily I landed in the water.