Fan Fiction

U-J-Bender and God
By Rush

Scene Space: U-J-Bender appears before the God galaxy entity.

U-J-Bender: 'Yo, can you stop me from popping from one universe to the next?! [There is a blinding flash of light and U-J-Bender doesn't disappear.]

God: 'Done.

U-J-Bender: 'Thanks. Wait, what universe is this?

God: 'Universe J-Z One Zero.

U-J-Bender: 'But my universe is Universe H Zero One Seven? So that means there's a god per universe?

God: 'That question is a big one, the truth is not every universe has a god, which means it has neither Heaven nor Hell, and nature is really the only thing that's even close to a god in that universe, and even if an universe does not have a god, it doesn't mean it's evil or anything.

U-J-Bender: 'But how was is created?

God: 'Through energy, the Big Bang.

U-J-Bender: 'Hmm, maybe.

God: 'Imagination creates universes, even fan fiction does as well. So in some sense everyone is a god, well those who are creative anyway.

U-J-Bender: 'Ahhh, damn! So I'm really am gay in some universe from all those slash fan fiction I've seen on fan fiction.net in other universes?

God: 'Yes, I have no opinion on such things, there are far more interesting things than that.

U-J-Bender: 'I guess whatever your into. So does magic exist?

God: 'Technically everything exists created by imagination, it all depends on the universe. Some universes have magic, some don't, and some even have more than one god. Even if there's just one god, not all of the them are the same such as Eru Ilúvatar?

U-J-Bender: 'Who's that?!

God: 'In words you can understand he's the god of The Lord OF The Rings universe.

U-J-Bender: 'Yes, Ok. But are you sure you're right about everything though?

God: 'In our cartoon line of existence, yes I am.

U-J-Bender: 'We're a cartoon?! Yeah, that explains why I don't fit in the landscape and background of some universes!

God: 'Yes.

U-J-Bender: 'Can you teleport me home now?

God: 'I can't just teleport you home, but I can do the next best thing. [He creates a parachute, out of thin air and straps it to Bender and throws him towards Earth. U-J-Bender screams.]

Cut to Earth. U-J-Bender screams and falls through Earth's atmosphere, turning bright red from entering it.

Cut to: Skyward view of New New York.

U-J-Bender: 'Hot, hot, hot, hot! [He opens the parachute, beeping hover cars flying through the air narrowly miss him.] Phew! [U-J-Bender lands in the open hanger doors of Planet Express.]

Parallel Leela: 'What the hell!

Cut to: Planet Express. The PE staff in the middle of a meeting, look behind to see U-J-Bender landing in front of the Planet Express ship.

Parallel Hermes: 'You just had to interrupt my meeting didn't you?

[U-J-Bender ignores him, then walks towards a shelf with many U-Boxes on it.]

Parallel Bender: 'What the hell is he doing?! [Everyone stands up.]

Fry: (shouting) 'Stop him!

[U-J-Bender takes an U-Box marked with "Universe H Zero One Seven" off the shelf, and jumps into it.]

Parallel Farnsworth: 'Ah, must have been a U-J-Bender. [Everyone sits back down.]

[Parallel Bender narrows his eyes at Farnsworth]

Parallel Bender: (quietly) 'You'd know wouldn’t ya! (shouting) Since you did the same thing to me!

Parallel Farnsworth: 'Oh my yes!

The End

So I think I've made religious people and atheists people happy, yes?