Fan Fiction

Past Weird Happening
By Rush

Scene Old New York. Brooklyn Pre-Med Junior Hospital labor-ward room. Fry's mother seems not in all in pain while she's giving birth to Fry, her husband near by sits next to the bed reading a newspaper.

Mrs Fry: 'Hey, keep it down! It's the 9th inning. [She holds a portable radio to her ear.]

Commentator: [on radio] 'Here's the 02 pitch to Craypool. He's taking all the way for a called strike three!

Mrs. Fry: 'Swing the bat, you bum!

[The doctor lifts up Fry and he cries.]

Doctor: 'It's a boy. And look at that red hair!

Mr. Fry: 'You saying my son's a commie?!

Commentator: [on radio] 'And Groady leans into the pitch!

[Mrs. Fry cheers.]

Mrs. Fry: 'This is the happiest day of my life!

[The doctor puts the baby on her lap.]

Doctor: 'Here's your baby, ma'am.

Mrs. Fry: 'Yeah, OK, thanks.

Mr. Fry: 'So, what should we name him?

Bender's Voice: (shouting from outside) 'Philip J. Fry! [Bender blasts a hole through the wall, when the dust settles we see Bender walking through the hole in the wall holding the same laser rifle from Bender's Big Score.] Hand em over, or I'll blast you into dust!

Mr. Fry: 'OK-OK, you can have him!

[He hands Fry over to Bender, then Bender puts Fry away in his chest cabinet.]

Bender: 'Good day to you sir. [He walks back out the hole in the wall.]

Cut to: Bender walking into some cryogenic pod in a dark underground laboratory.


Scene: We are now in the future on a stormy night with heavy rainfall with the sounds of thunder outside the Cookieville Minimum-Security Orphanarium where Morris and Munda come out of a manhole near the building with their baby Leela, who they put in a basket outside the front door. Morris puts a bracelet on the baby's wrist.

Morris: 'I made this bracelet so that in some small way we'll always be with you, even when it doesn't seem like it. During your entire life, for example.

[He kisses her on the forehead.]

Munda: 'You won't pass for human, cutie. But if my PhD in exo-linguistics is worth diddly-poop, this note should convince them you're an alien. [She attaches the note to the baby's blanket.] And that'll be enough to give you a real life.

[She kisses the baby, puts her hood up and runs down the steps. Morris rings the doorbell and follows her. Warden Vogel opens the door and sees the baby. Morris and Munda watch from the manhole.]

Morris: 'She'll never know we're her parents.

Munda: 'That's our gift to her. Better we should die than have her learn the shameful truth of her origin.

Morris: 'I'm with you.

[They hug. Then turn and watch Vogel.]

Vogel: 'What a beautiful gigantic eye you---[The baby kicks him.] Aahah! Well, come on--

Bender: (shouting) Hey wait you old bastard!

[Bender gasping runs up to Vogel and hands a screaming, Baby Fry to him and Bender also hands him an note that explains all the details.]

Vogel: 'Well, come on in then both of you.

[Morris and Munda watch Leela and Fry disappear inside, they hold their breath and dive into the sewers.]

Bender: 'I wonder what their lives are going to be like? (saying a time code) A0?20?30106080?700?k005?00200?4o0?0g0?0r0z000?11?409! [He disappears in a blinding flash of light.]

The End