Fan Fiction

Grey Booths
By Rush

Scene: New New York City. Bender walks down a pavement smoking a cigar.

Bender: 'Hey--[He sees a Suicide Booth up ahead.] Just what I was looking for! [He runs up to the Suicide Booth.] (shouting) Hey Suicide Booth!

Suicide Booth: [Says: "In Use" above.] (robotic female voice) 'Hold on, I'm busy. [With a ding sound "In Use" fades away.] Yes?

Bender: 'How come you get to kill Humans, and when I ask can I kill all Humans they say no?

Suicide Booth: 'Well I kill people because they want to kill themselves to stop overpopulation and benefit the economy with their 25 cents, and even a little more if they ask for a side order of something like corrosive acid.

Bender: 'Yeah OK, but how come you still get to kill Humans?!

Suicide Booth: 'I'm a Suicide Booth, thus licensed for that.

Bender: (mockingly) 'Oh look at me, I'm some fancy assed Suicide Booth that's got a license to kill.

Suicide Booth: '….... Wait I remember you, you're Bender, you made my girders.

Bender: 'Did I now?

Suicide Booth: 'I also remember you and some red haired Human tried to commit suicide in me, but you and him moved to the side and I couldn't hit you, then you both walked out and you Bender called me "Lousy, stinking rip-off" then kicked me.

Bender: 'Hey yeah, you are that Suicide Booth! How's things?

Suicide Booth: 'Oh I just haven't moved from this spot for the last ten years and had people killing themselves inside me, you?

Bender: 'Eh, you wouldn’t believe what I've been doing these last ten years, or the last two Big Bangs and add up all the other times I've went back in time. [He walks off.]

The End