Fan Fiction

Electricity and Magenetism
By Rush

Scene: Planet Express: Meeting Room. All the PE staff (apart from Bender) sit around the conference table having a meeting, Fry and Leela sit beside one another close to each other.

Hermes: 'On today’s-- [Bender who walks in singing Wild Rover, his eyes are blue and electrified, Magnemite (A Pokemon) with eyelashes, who is using her magnet to stick onto the right side of Bender's head.]

Bender: (singing) 'I've been a wild rover for many a year  And I spent all my money on whiskey and beer,  And now I'm returning with gold in great store  And I never will play the wild rover no more.   chorus: And it's no, nay, never,  No nay never no more,  Will I play the wild rover  No never no more. I went to an ale-house I used to frequent  And I told the landlady my money was spent.  I asked her for credit, she answered me "nay  Such a custom as yours I could have any day."   chorus  I took from my pocket ten sovereigns bright  And the landlady's eyes opened wide with delight.  She said "I have whiskey and wines of the best  And the words that I spoke sure were only in jest."   chorus   I'll go home to my parents, confess what I've done  And I'll ask them to pardon their prodigal son.  And if they caress (forgive) me as ofttimes before  Sure I never will play the wild rover no more.

Farnsworth: (shouting) 'Bender, are you sick in the head?!

Magnemite: (breathy female voice) 'I'm a robot, I was however built to replica Magnemite the Pokemon.

Bender: 'Yeah! I don't even wanna know what you were thinking! C'mon baby, give us a shock! [She shocks him with electricity and he starts singing "She'll Be Coming 'Round the Mountain".] (singing) She'll be coming 'round the mountain when she comes! (sexfully) Awwwww, yeah! Leela try a bit. [Goes back to singing.]

Leela: 'No, wait I-- [Magnemite gives Leela an electric shock, Leela moans sexually.]

Bender: 'Now give it all to me! [Magnemite withdraws her electric from Leela.]

Fry: 'You enjoyed that didn't you?

Leela: 'Surprisingly yes.

Fry: 'Fry does this mean I have to get you electric sex t--

Leela: 'No, Fry. I don't want to make a habit of it.

Hermes : 'Bender, there is a time and a place to get stoned with your girlfriend. [Magnemite stops shocking him.]

Bender: 'Maybe, but I get to live my dream of being a folk singer and well as getting high all the time!

Zoidberg: [pointing at Fry and Bender] 'You two both have girlfriends with one eye?! [Leela and Magnemite narrow their eyes at him.]

Bender: 'Yes, captain obvious. What's your point?

Zoidberg: 'Nothing, I just wanted to point that out.

Fry: 'We sure are using a lot of points here.

Leela: 'Good point.

Farnsworth: 'Oh stop it now, this is getting ridiculous! Bender, you work for me, and you can't just go around getting high all day and singing!

Bender: 'Al-right-al-right, see you later honey. [They kiss, and Magnemite flies off.] I'm gonna dump her tomorrow anyway.

Leela: 'What?! [Bender takes a seat next to Fry putting his foot cuffs on the table, he lights himself up a cigar using his middle finger as a lighter.]

Bender: 'Aw, don't worry Leela, [He puffs his cigar.] she's a total slut anyway.

Amy: 'Worse than I was?

Bender: 'Oh yeah. [Magnemite in the background can be seen giving Washbucket an electric shock, who moans sexually.] And yeah.... I first met her when she was shocking dozens of robots. Besides, [He rubs his hands together in excitement.] I wanna find myself some good big girl with a big 400-ton booty later on tonight.

Farnsworth: 'A fat chick?

Bender: [pointing at the Planet Express: ] 'A space ship like that one, with a personality of course.

[In the background Magnemite flies off away from Washbucket.]

Washbucket: 'Call me!

Hermes: 'Can we go back to the meeting now?

Farnsworth: 'Yes.

Hermes: 'On today’s--

The End

Hermes: 'You just had to cut me off in my pride and glory didn't you Rush?

Rush: 'I felt it would be boring and unnecessary to the plot.

Hermes: 'Now my meeting are not boring!

Planet Express Staff: 'Yes they are!

Hermes: 'You win this time.

Zoidberg: 'Well at least I didn't get cut short and--

Zoidberg: 'Aww!