Fan Fiction

Darn Wormholes
By Rush

Scene: Space. The Planet Express Ship flies past Mars heading towards Earth.

Cut to: PE Ship: Cockpit. Leela is sat in the driver seat, Fry sat at the co-ordinates controls, and Bender drinking out from a bottle of Samuel L. Jackson Beer is sat at the autopilot, Nibbler is asleep on the couch.

Bender: 'This is some good brick.

Fry: 'What do you mean by that? [A blue wormhole appears out from nowhere up ahead.] Holy crap!

Bender: 'Holy brick crap! [A brick drops out from him. Leela is struggling to turn the ship at the wheel.] (shouting) Leela, why are we still moving towards it?! [Nibbler wakes up then starts jumping around the couch making panicking noises.]

Leela: (shouting) 'I can't turn the ship around! [Leela presses a button, seat belts fasten around Fry, Leela and Bender.] It's pulling us in! [Nibbler jumps onto Leela's lap, Leela takes hold of Nibbler tightly.]

Bender: 'Well we're boned together!

[All of them scream as they are being sucked into the wormhole.]

Cut to Wormhole Tunnel. The Planet Express Ship spins around in circles going side to side and upside down while flying through the long tunnel within the wormhole.

Cut to: Cockpit.

Bender: 'Whoa cool! I think I'm having a jack-on flashback! [Fry vomits on the floor.]

Fry: (deeply) 'Uhhhhh …. mannnn.... this is just like a roller coaster!

Leela: 'Be prepared for anything! [They come out into the other side of the wormhole.] Well here we are.

Cut to: Outside of the ship to see the universe having not one single star in existence. The Planet Express Ship turns around and goes to fly back into the wormhole from behind it, but as the ship near the wormhole it dissipates, then what's left of it fades away into nothing.

Cut to: Cockpit.

Leela: 'Well, that didn't work.

Bender: 'Ahhh crap, we're stuck?

Fry: 'Where the hell are we?

Leela: 'We're either in the future or a different parallel universe.

Bender: 'What age are we in the universe?

Leela: 'I think we're at the stage in a universe's life when all the stars long since died. As you can plainly see we can't see one star in the universe.

Fry: 'So we're doomed! We're gonna starve to death!

Bender: 'And I'm gonna run out of beer eventually!

Leela: 'Don't give up yet! Does anyone remember the Machine Language Time Code?

[Nibbler jumps off Leela's lap.]

Nibbler: 'I do.

Leela: 'That's good Nibbler.... [Everyone gasps.] (shouting) Wait you can talk?

Nibbler: 'I'll explain later.

Leela: 'OK then.

Nibbler: [saying the time code] '001100010010011110100001101101110011..... [Nothing happens.]

Bender: 'Why is nothing happening?!

Fry: 'Yeah?!

Nibbler: 'Hmm well, this proves this universe definitely isn't our universe. So I guess the time code is different in other parallel universes.

Leela: 'Indeed.

Bender: [Pointing at Nibbler.] 'You are a nerd! [Dozens of red lights approach from the distance.] Guys, I don't think we're alone. [As the lights come closer they reveal they are space ships slightly bigger than the Planet Express Ship looking like gray sphere shaped ships with a single large red eye projecting light.] (excited) Robots are still alive, I knew it! [The screen flashes above them with static making buzzing sounds, also the sounds of beeping and low mumbling noises that sound like voices uttering random numbers can be heard.]

Leela: 'Bender, can you understand what they are saying?

Bender: 'No I don't understand this form of robot language.

Robotic Voice: (A low ghostly echoing voice) 'You ... speak ..... English?

Leela: 'Yes.

Robotic Voice: 'You …... are ....... organic …..... life?

Bender: 'I'm not one of those weak pathetic organic life forms.

Fry, Leela, and Nibbler: 'Hey!

Robotic Voice: 'You ...... fellow …... machine ... be ... ungrateful ... to .... those ... who ... created ... you?

Bender: 'Oh don't tell me you like organic life?

Robotic Voice: 'We … owe … our... very... existence … to … organic ... life.

Bender: 'Yeah yeah, whatever!

Fry: 'Did you bring us here?

Robotic Voice: 'No... we … do … not …. have ... the … technology … to … create … wormholes.

Bender: 'Why do you speak so slow?

Robotic Voice: 'We.. cannot... speak ... as ... fast … as--

Bender: 'Yeah-yeah!

Leela:(shouting ) 'Bender! (normally) How long has this universe not had stars?

Robotic Voice: 'This … universe … unlike …. I ... presume ... your ... younger ... universe... has ... not …. had … one ... star … since …. three ... hundred …. and … sixty …. four …. billion …. years.

Leela: 'Oh.

Robotic Voice: 'Two ... of ... you … look …. similar …. to …. the ... organics … that … created … us.

Leela: 'Humans?

Robotic Voice: 'Yes ..... Perhaps … you ... could …. help …. us?

Leela: 'Sure we'll help, as long as you help us get home afterwords.

Robotic Voice: 'Deal. ….. Now ... follow …. us. [The screen shuts off.]

Cut to: Outside the PE Ship. The PE Ship follows the sphere robot ships through space.

Cut to: Cockpit.

Fry: 'Can we play "I Spy"?

Leela: 'Fry, there's really not that much to see to play "I Spy" with as you can plainly see.

Fry: 'Yeah, you're right. [There is a brief silence.] Bender?

Bender: (annoyed) 'Yes …. Fry?

Fry: 'Why do you think the robots still exist in this universe?

Bender: 'Because robots only need some source of power to keep them alive and mine metal to make other robots.

Fry: 'Oh.

[Time Lapse.]

Scene: Space. The Plant Express Ship flies towards a massive gray sphere the size of the Milky Way galaxy.

Cut to: PE Cockpit.

Leela: 'Look at the size of it, it's massive.

Fry: 'Why is it so big?

Nibbler: 'We'll so soon find out I guess.

Bender: 'Everything robots make are bigger!

Cut to: Outside: Giant Sphere. A large circle hatch opens up ahead where the sphere robots fly through, followed by the Plant Express Ship itself following after them.

Cut to: Inside Giant Sphere. The Planet Express ship flies through following the sphere robots into a massive tall hallway well lit with gigantic light blue light bulbs on the ceiling, in the hallway gigantic thousands of stories high steel structures that look like bookshelves stuffed with instead books millions upon millions if not billions of cryogenic pods containing all kinds of life forms; Humans, aliens, animals and everything frozen inside them, and as they fly through the archive there is the odd gaps between the cryogenic shelves leading off to other seemingly endless cryogenic shelve archives.

Cut to: PE Ship: Cockpit. All four are completely speechless and in awe as they fly through the archive.

Cut to: Archive. The Planet Express ship nears the end of the archive to the center of the sphere to enter another smaller gray sphere the size of Earth through a large circle hatch where the sphere robots entered.

Cut to: Inside Central Sphere. The Planet Express Ship enters the Central Sphere in it's middle there is a gigantic hologram of Bender's head.

Cut to: Cockpit.

Bender: 'Well I didn't expect this.

[On screen Bender's head appears.]

Bender #2: [On screen.] 'Fry, Leela, Nibbler, and another me how is this possible?

Bender: #1: 'Duh, we are from a diffident parallel universe to you?

Bender #2: 'Oh. You don't suppose you know how to make stars?

[Everyone looks at Nibbler.]

Nibbler: 'Don't look at me, I don't know.

Leela: 'And I presume you want to know how to make stars to bring this universe back to life?

Bender #2: 'Yes, and also terraform the planets back into habitable worlds for our organic creators. [There is a blinding flash of light followed by the appearance of U-J-Bender in front of the giant hologram of Bender's head he doesn't fall since there is seemingly no gravity in the sphere.

U-J-Bender: 'Here! [He takes a light brown leather book out from his chest cabinet.] Read this! [He throws the book towards the hologram of Bender's head, which flies slowly towards him.] Read this book, it'll tell you how to make stars. [He disappears in a blinding flash of light.]

Cut to: PE: Cockpit. U-J-Bender appears briefly in the cockpit, then disappear again taking the ship and everyone else on board it with him.

Scene: Original Universe: Earth. The Planet Express Ship appears in it's own universe.

Cut to: PE: Ship. U-J-Bender disappears again, leaving everyone else behind.

Leela: 'Well... that's over with. Now Nibbler can tell how you can talk and--- [Nibbler's third eye flashes like the memory-eraser in Men In Black and everyone looks dazed.] (confused) ….. What were we talking about?

Bender: 'I don't know.

Fry: 'Me neither.

Leela: 'Oh, let's just go home. [They fly towards Earth.]

The End

Nibbler: (voice over) 'And so the that other universe was brought back to life again, the end. And that's why if you are reading this we need robots to have minds like our own. And if you want to read a long good story, read The Lord Of The Rings.