Darkness From The Light
Scene: Outside Planet Express. URL and Smithy look across the street at Planet Express, where the three Nudist Alien Scammers; Nudar, Schlump and Fleb stand outside the front door. Farnsworth answers.
Farnsworth: 'Hello. Or should I say, '"Buenos dias"?
Nudar: 'Hi. We own your company now.
[There is a blinding flash of light right behind Fleb, followed by the appearance of an U-J-Bender, with dark orange eyes.]
Fleb: 'What the?!
Schlump: 'Who are you?
U-J-Bender: (speaking in a deep quiet cold voice) 'I am an Universe Jumping Bender, and also … (shouting) a Dark Jedi! [He quickly takes a lightsaber out from his chest cabinet, turning it on to reveal it is a red lightsaber (URL and Smithy turn they're lightsaber bats on and run towards the Dark Jedi.), which he uses to cut Fleb's head off before he even has any time to react.] Die. [He fires lightning out from his fingers, turning Schlump into ash, and then throws his lightsaber at Nudar, who is running towards URL and Smithy.]
Nudar: 'Help meeeee! [The lightsaber cuts his head off, and returns back to Dark Jedi U-J-Bender's hand, URL and Smithy back off slowly.]
Smithy: 'We'll just leave, you alone now.
Dark Jedi U-J-Bender: 'A wise decision. Not that it matters for your universe is surely to end ... soon, for what I have done to effect it in a weird way.
URL: 'Robots know the force?
Dark Jedi U-J-Bender: 'In my Universe yes, however I sense this Universe has not got the force at all, but it somehow still works for me here. [The Dark Jedi U-J-Bender disappears with a blinding flash of light.]
[Pan back over at the door to show. Farnsworth and the other PE staff looking out the front door.]
Bender: 'Holy brick crap, that cheap copy of me is eviler than me!
Leela's Cell Phone: (sounding almost parrot like) 'Ring ring ring, phone call phone call, ring ring rin--
Bender: 'I never knew you liked Pokemon? [Leela answers her cell-phone.]
Leela: 'Hey Lars! [Fry looks down sad.] Why are you at Applied Cryogenics? What's wrong? …. (shouting) Lars! Lars! Lars! [Leela sprints off, and everyone runs after her, apart from Farnsworth being carried by Bender.]
Cut to: Outside Applied Cryogenics. Lars can be seen lying on the pavement outside the front entrance to Applied Cryogenics, his body buzzes like a static television, parts of his body fading in and out of existence. Leela sprints towards Lars and takes hold of his hand.
Leela: 'Lars, what's happening to you?
Lars: (in a weak voice) 'I don't know. [The others come along.]
Farnsworth: 'I've never seen anything like this.
Leela: 'Lars, why is this happening to you?
Lars: 'Leela as empty as these words are, I'm sorry, I never thought this would happen, I should of never done it, all for just lukewarm pizza.
Leela: 'What are you talking about?
Lars: 'I am a time-paradox duplicate of Fry. [Everyone gasps.]
Leela: 'You're Fry?
Lars: 'Yes, I changed my name.
Leela: 'OK, but why did you go back in time?
Lars: 'I was being chased by pink nudist aliens who wanted to kill me, then I went back in time using a magnifying glass to read the time code on my buttocks on the tattoo of Bender, but that was only one of the reasons I went back to the year 2000. The woman I loved all my life you Leela, was never to be with me, for I thought myself at the time Lars was a completely different person to me, but how I found out I was Lars was... was. [The static becomes more intense.] And... and... I-I-I, I-I love you …............... Leela. [Lars fades completely out of existence.]
Leela: [in tears] 'I love you too. [She blows her nose in a tissue.]
Farnsworth: 'You know using the time code on Fry's ass we could try rectify this.
Leela: (crying) 'But there wouldn't be much point to that, since Fry is Lars.
Fry: (sad) 'But I'll never be the right man for you Leela. [Leela hugs him.]
Leela: (cheering up a little) 'You've always been the right man for me. [She kisses him on the cheek.] And despite the loss of Lars, I haven't really lost him or never been without him for these past seven years. I love you, Fry.
Fry: 'And I love you too, Leela. [They kiss passionately.]
Zoidberg: 'Ooooh, is this Human mating? [His head fin goes up.]
Bender: 'No, it goes more on the lines of-- [Hermes kicks him.] Ow! OK, I won't tell em.
Farnsworth: 'Well it turns out the universe was not destroyed after all.
Amy: 'I wonder if that Dark Jedi U-J-Bender will get what's coming to him.
Scene: Space. The U-J-Bender, with dark orange eyes appears before the God galaxy entity, who launches him away.
God: 'You're not gonna screw up another universe, rare but evil U-J-Bender.
Cut to: Star. The evil U-J-Bender goes flying towards a star being turned into molten steal even before he reaches it.