Fan Fiction

Attack Of The Shipper
By Rush

Scene: Planet Express: Lounge. Fry and Bender sit on the couch watching Everybody Loves Hypnotoad on TV.

Fry: This shows always the same!

[Suddenly Fry and Bender wrap their arms around one another and begin making out.]

Bender: (shouting) What the! Get the hell off me! [He pushes Fry off the couch, then picks him back up again and starts making out with him again.]

Fry pulls his mouth away from Bender's face.

Fry: (shouting) What the hell is going on?!

[They make out again.]

Bender: (shouting) Make it stop!

Scene: On a icy planet a pink misty entity like that of Melllvar from "Where No Fan Has Gone Before" holds two voodoo dolls of Fry and Bender which are being pressed against each others faces, causing them to make out with each other against their will.

Morgan Freeman: (narrator) That is the most horrifying of all of existence, they call it "The Shipper". [Lightning strikes in the background.] Not even the Reapers from Mass Effect can be compared to this creature of pure undiluted evil. [Lightning strikes again in the background.] She once forced me to make out with a clone of myself. [Lightning strikes yet again in the background.] Sure, it's fine to have your own slashfic parallel universes. But to do this to people who aren't even romantically interested one another. (shouting) Oh no! She's teleported me and gonna force to make out with a Krogan Battlemaster called Wrex!

Urdnot Wrex: (shouting) I'll kill you! I'm trying to fight Reapers here on Earth to help Shepherd! What's the point of making out with a Human I don't even know?! Plus I only like the ladies!

Morgan Freeman: It's the shipper!

Urdnot Wrex: (shouting) Noooooooooo!

Scene: Planet Express: Hanger. Zoidberg and Leela are pressed against one another making out in front of the Planet Express Ship.

Leela: [pulls away] 'Uhhh! [She vomits on the floor.] (crying) Please no!

The Shipper: (squeaky girly voice) You will now smell Zoidberg's armpits and feet and then make love with him on the floor!

Leela: (shouting) 'Nooooooo!

Zoidberg: 'I like this Shipper.

[Leela's head is press against Zoidberg's left armpit causing her to vomit.]

Leela: (shouting) 'I cry out to you Anti Shipper, help us!

To Be Continued