Return From the Deep South, Part 4
By Dwayne Anderson
Leela couldn't get to sleep that night. How ironic that she had finally decided to confess her feelings towards Fry, and now he is getting married to a former mermaid.
The next morning, Fry told everyone his plans.
"Since I don't have much money on me, we'll be having the wedding here. Farnsworth can be my best man, Leela and Amy can be the bridemaids, Hermes can be the ring bearer, Bender and Zoidberg can be in charge of the food. And we'll have that robo-minister here as well. I've already bought a bottle of champagne for the honeymoon and rented a tuxedo."
A little later, Leela was helping Umbriel put on the same wedding gown she had worn when she and Fry were temporarily married(see Time Keeps On Slipping for details). Leela knew that Fry would be turned on by the cutout revealing cleavage.
Later that afternoon, everyone was gathered in the Planet Express Meeting room, except for Bender and Zoidberg, who were preparing the food.
"Do you Phillip J. Fry take Umbriel to be your lawful wedded wife, till death do you part?" asked the robo-minister.
"I do" said Fry.
"Umbriel, same question, names reversed?"
"Yes" said Umbriel.
Hermes gave Fry the ring. He slipped it onto one of Umbriel's fingers.
"Then before I shut down from power shortage, I pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss...each other."
Fry and Umbriel kissed. Leela's cheeks turned red with jealousy.
Later, Zoidberg and Bender were serving the food. As expected, the food was awful.
"Please don't tell us that's the same stuff you fed us before you appeared on that cooking show against Elzar" said Amy.
"Bet your sweet eyes it is" said Bender. "Now I told you, it'll keep and keep and keep!"
"Thank god I lost my sense of taste seventy five years ago!" said Farnsworth.
"You should have cooked Zoidberg" said Hermes. "He's a lobster!"
"Excuse me" said Leela as she stood. "I think I just lost my appetite!"
Leela stood and went into the kitchen. Opening the refridgerator, she looked for something to eat. Then something caught her eye. It was the bottle of champagne Fry had bought for the honeymoon.
Leela then noticed a six pack of Cola. Then she got an idea, an awful idea, a wonderful awful idea.
She poured the champagne down the sink and refilled the bottle with Cola.
That night, Fry and Umbriel left for their honeymoon at a motel down at the beach.
When they checked into their suite, Fry opened the bottle of champange...er cola, and filled two cups with it.
"Here's to us!" he said. He and Umbriel clanged their glasses together, then drank.
After downing her drink, Umbriel stood, but suddenly toppled forth.
"Umbriel! Are you alright?" asked Fry. "Can you get up?"
"I can't feel my legs!" said Umbriel. "I can't stand!"
Fry knelt down and lifted Umbriel's wedding gown.
Her legs were gone, replaced by her tail.
"Oh no!" he cried. "You're a mermaid again! But how can that be?!"
"It's caffeine" said Umbriel. "I drank it!"
"Wait, there's no caffeine in champagne!" said Fry. "Wait a second! It was Cola!"
"Fry, get me into water, quickly!" said Umbriel.
Fry picked her up and ran out of the room. He had to get to the beach.
Running as fast as he could, he ran towards the beach and tossed Umbriel into the water.
"Can you swim?" he asked.
"Alright, just keep swimming until the caffeine wears out!"
Suddenly, a passing fishing boat came by. Umbriel was suddenly enveloped in a net and lifted out of the water.
Fry gasped in horror.
On the boat, Wernstrom, Farnworth's rival, brought Umbriel onto the deck.
"Wow, a mermaid!" he said. "Now I know I'll be famous and finally win that Nobel Prize, putting Farnsworth to shame!"
"Hey!" shouted Fry, "that's my wife!"
"You want her?" asked Wernstrom. "Come get her!"
He laughed as the boat pulled away from the shore.
"Come back here you son of a...!"
Fry turned to where the voice had come from.
"Leela, what are you doing here?"
"Hoping to steal you back from Umbriel. Where is she anyway?"
"Dr. Wernstrom took her! How can I get her back?"
"Get a boat!"
Soon, Fry was paddling as fast as he could after the fishing boat. With him was Leela.
"Fry, I need to confess" said Leela. "It's my fault Umbriel is in trouble. You see, I replaced the champagne with Cola! I did it because I was jealous of you and Umbriel!"
"What?" cried Fry. "Leela, how could you?! If we never get Umbriel back, I'll never forgive you! Unless of course you go out with me."
Fortunately, the fishing boat was slower than Fry's paddling. Soon, Fry was on its decks.
"Now to save Umbriel!" he said as Leela jumped next to him.
Leela kicked open the nearest door. Inside was Wernstrom standing before a large tank filled with water. Inside was Umbriel.
"Hey!" said Fry.
"That's my wife!" said Fry. "Let her go now or I'll smash this place!"
"Sorry" said Wernstrom, "not until I win the Nobel Prize!"
Leela broke a glass case carrying an axe.
"Who cares if it's not an emergency?" she said. "I'll smash this place to pieces!"
She swung the axe around, destroying Wernstrom's lab equipment.
"Stop! Stop!" said Wernstrom.
Meanwhile, Fry climbed up to the tank and jumped in. He pulled Umbriel to the surface.
"Time to go!" he said. "Abandon ship!"
He ran out of the room carrying Umbriel. Suddenly, her tail transformed into human legs.
"Fry let go!" she said. "I can run now!"
Fry released her and they ran towards the deck to jump overboard.
Suddenly, a shot ran out. A laser shot past them. And another.
The next one came right at Fry.
"Look out!" said Umbriel. She pushed Fry out of the way, taking the laser into her abdomen.
Fry toppled into the ocean. So did Umbriel. As Fry surfaced, he noticed that the ocean surface was tinted red with blood.
Panicking, he dove down below the surface to see Umbriel sinking, blood coloring the water from where she had been shot.
Fry swam down towards her and grabbed her. Then he surfaced and swam back to shore.
Back on the ship's decks, Leela punched Wernstrom and kicked the laser gun out of his hands. Then she jumped overboard and into the boat. Then she began rowing furiously as the coast patrol boat approached Wernstrom's ship.
"Leela, over here!" said Fry.
Leela rowed to where he was and helped both him and Umbriel onto it.
"She's hurt, badly!" said Fry.
"Let's get her to a doctor" said Leela.
Later, everyone was gathered in the meeting room of Planet Express.
"I guess the honeymoon's over" said Fry. "What a way for it to go!"
"Fry, this is all my fault" said Leela. "I'm sorry."
"Apology accepted" said Fry.
Zoidberg came to meet them all. "I have bad news and some worse news" he said.
"What's the bad news?" asked Fry.
"Umbriel lost the baby."
"What's the worse news?"
"She only has a few minutes left to live."
Those words struck Fry like a sledgehammer hitting him in the face. The others gasped.
"There is some good news" said Zoidberg. "She wants to see you."
Fry stood and trudged into the bedroom where Umbriel lay.
"Hey" he said, "I heard everything."
"I'm sorry" said Umbriel. "But soon, I will be rejoining my people."
"Some honeymoon this has been" said Fry. "First you turn back into a mermaid, then a human again, and now this."
"Fry don't worry, you still have Leela."
"But what will I do without you?"
"We still have time for one last kiss" said Umbriel. By now, her voice was starting to weaken.
Fry leaned over and kissed her.
"Goodbye Fry" she said.
She closed her eyes. The line on the heart monitor became flat.
Early the next morning, the Planet Express flew their ship out to the ocean where the sunken city of Atlanta was. Fry climbed outside, carrying Umbriel's lifeless body which was now dressed in the two piece skimpy bikini she had worn when she and Fry were reunited.
Fry laid Umbriel's body on the ocean water and watched it slowly sink.
Leela came to his side.
"I'm sorry" she said.
Fry didn't respond.
As they returned home to New New York, Leela said to Fry, "if it's any consolation Fry, you still have me."
"Well, I'll get over this eventually" said Fry.
"Do you want to go out for dinner tonight?" asked Leela.
"I'm over it" said Fry cheering up. "But I'll never forget her. Even if our marriage did last only a few hours."
He and Leela held hands for the rest of the flight.