Fan Fiction

Return From the Deep South
By Dwayne Anderson

It was the morning of Valentines day in 3003. Leela was feeling very depressed. As usual, it was February 14th, St. Valentines day, and she didn't have a partner.

Leela felt jealous of all the girls and women in New New York. Many of them had no trouble at all getting a date. She knew that Amy would be going out with Kif and that Hermes with his wife Labaraba.

Over the last few years, only two men persued a relationship with Leela: Fry and Zapp Brannigan. Both had their faults. Zapp was a total sleaze, who was into sex and nothing else. Fry, on the other hand, was a slacker, a klutz, and immature. Still, even Leela agreed that he was the better of the two.

Just then, the phone rang. Leela picked it up.

"Hello," she said.

"Hello, my one-eyed swan," said a voice on the other end. "Guess who."

Leela sighed. It was obviously Zapp Brannigan.

"Do you know what I find sexiest in women?" asked Zapp.

"The boobies?" said Leela.

"How'd you guess?" asked Zapp. "Say, guess what today is."

"I know what you're thinking, Zapp!" said Leela. "And I'd rather nail my tongue to the sofa than spend Valentine's Day with you!"

"Ooh, forceful and playing hard to get!" said Zapp. "I like that!"

"Shut up, Zapp!" said Leela, and she slammed the phone down.

The door opened. In came Fry.

"Knock knock!" he said.

"Who's there?" asked Leela, turning to face him.


"Fry who?"

"Anybody but me!" laughed Fry. "Ha ha ha!"

Leela tried to hide a laugh, but she was not successful.

When she finally stopped laughing, she asked Fry: "Fry, did you get a date for Valentine's Day yet?"

"Nope," said Fry. "Michelle still won't take me back. Apparently, she's now courting a multi-millionaire, but I'll bet she's doing it for the money! And I do an honest day's work, it shouldn't matter to a woman if a man doesn't
make much money."

"You don't get out much do you?" asked Leela.

"Not really," said Fry. "Do you have a date yet?"

"As usual, no."

"Sorry to hear that Leela, but hey, I'm available."


"Leela, listen to me. I know I'm not perfect in every way, but that doesn't mean I can't give you a good time."

Leela thought about it. She thought about it some more.

And then...

"OK, Fry, let's go out on Valentine's Day. Just as friends, OK?"

"Whatever you say," said Fry.

Fry and Leela spent much of the day together. They had dinner at an outdoor cafe, then they went to the Annual Flower Festival, where Fry bought a bouquet of roses for Leela. They went for a walk in Central Park, then watched a remake of Romeo and Juliet at the theatre.

Fry hadn't had any better time on Valentine's Day. Once, he went on Amy's shoulder. But going out with Leela was one of the best times in his life.

That night, after dinner at a fancy restaurant, Fry and Leela decided to go somewhere special. They climbed into the Planet Express ship and flew across the sea, where they stopped in the middle of nowhere. They placed folding chairs on top of the outside of the ship and sat down on them.

"What a beautiful moonlit night," said Leela. "The stars are shining brightly and the moon looks so close!"

"It's so peaceful, I can hear the waves splashing against the Planet Express ship," said Fry.

"Fry, you were right. This is the best Valentine's Day ever! Thank you."

"You're welcome," said Fry.

"This is so perfect," said Leela. "The stars are shining brightly, the moon lights up the sky, the waves are splashing against the ship, what could go wrong to ruin it all?"

Just then, Fry saw something in the distance. "What's that?" he asked.

Leela saw what looked like someone thrashing in the water.

"It looks like someone in distress!" said Leela. "I'll go fly the ship closer and we'll save him or her!"

Leela ran down to the cockpit and took control of the ship. She piloted the Planet Express ship to where Fry had seen the person.

Leela ran back outside to join Fry. She was carrying some rope.

"I'm going down there!" she said. "You hold on to the other end of the rope."

"Awww, Leela, can I go down instead? I've always wanted to try bungee jumping!"

"Well, OK," said Leela. She tied the rope around Fry's waist.

Fry jumped down the side of the Planet Express ship.

As he came closer, he noticed that the person was a strikingly beautiful girl slightly younger than him. She had long blonde hair, had pink lipstick, and wore a pink skimpy revealing bikini.

"Strange, she looks familiar," Fry said to himself.

Then he heard the girl cry out to him.

"Fry help me!" she cried.

"How do you know my name?" he asked.

"Fry it's me!" the girl cried.

Fry took a closer look at her. Fry could not believe what he saw.


Umbriel started to go down under, but quickly resurfaced. Fry could see down under the surface that Umbriel no longer had a tail. Fry reached out for Umbriel's hands and grabbed them. He pulled her up and out of the water.

"I got her, Leela!" he shouted. "Pull me up!"

Leela pulled the rope up.

Finally, Fry was back on the ship. He set Umbriel set.

"Hey, I know you!" said Leela. "You're that mermaid Fry fell in love with in Atlanta, down under!"

"What happened, Umbriel?" asked Fry. "What happened to your tail?"

"Well," Umbriel began, "apparently, the caffeine from Coka Cola, which turned us into mermaids..."

"Ran out?" asked Leela.

"Yes," said Umbriel. "The other mermaids and mermen didn't escape in time. I'm the only mermaid left."

She began to shiver.

"Man, is it cold up here."

"We'd better take her back to Planet Express," said Leela. "She'll catch her death of cold! And we'd better get her some decent clothes, too."

"I don't mind what she's wearing," said Fry.

"Fry, are you flirting with her?" asked Leela.

"No," said Fry.

"Good," said Leela. "Come down to the cockpit after you put Umbriel in the sleeping quarters."

Leela opened the hatch on the roof and climbed down.

Umbriel struggled to keep her balance. Apparently, she wasn't used to having legs.

Finally, she fell back. Fry caught her just in time.

"Easy, Umbriel, don't hurt yourself," said Fry. He took her by the hand and led her slowly across the rooftop. Finally, he had her inside.

A little later, they returned to the Planet Express ship.

Fry was the first one out. "Quick!" he shouted. "Zoidburg, get a blanket! Amy, get some of your clothes!"

Zoidburg came back with a red blanket, while Amy brought back a white t-shirt, pink shorts and blue beach sandals.

"What do you need them for?" asked Amy. "Don't tell me, you've decided to take up dressing in drag."

"Not even close!" said Fry. "You know that mermaid I fell in love with years ago? She's here!"

"What?" asked Amy. "You caught her?"

"You're not going to believe this, Amy, but she's human now!"

"Fry," Leela called from the ship, "bring the stuff in here!"

Fry ran into the Planet Express ship.

A few minutes later, he came back out.

"Come on, Umbriel, it's OK."

Umbriel, now dresed in the t-shirt, shorts, and sandals, came out.

"Easy does it," said Fry. "Take it one step at a time."

"It's not easy having legs," said Umbriel. "I don't know how you do it, Fry."

"I've been walking for a very long time," said Fry. "Twenty-eight-years, to be exact."

Suddenly, Umbriel lost her balance and fell. Fry caught her, but, unfortunatly, he was also knocked off balance. They both tumbled down the ramp until they stopped at the bottom.

Fry stood and helped Umbriel up. "Don't worry," he said. "You'll get used to having legs soon enough."

Leela watched them from a distance. "He seems so careful of her," she said. "It's almost as if he is treating her
as if she was his girlfriend."

"Leela, its perfectly natural for you to be jealous of Umbriel," said Amy.

Leela was shocked. "Jealous? Of Umbriel? Please! I am simply stating the facts!"

"Relax, Leela," said Amy. "Just because Fry brought a mermaid home doesn't mean he's going to fall in love with her."

"He did back down under in Atlanta," said Leela.

"Leela, what could possibly happen?" asked Amy. "I assure you, there's no need to be jealous."

"If you say so," said Leela.

A little later, Umbriel was at Fry's apartment. By now, she was slowly learning how to walk on her own.

"Well, since there's no room at Planet Express, you'll just have to stay with me," he said.

"I wouldn't have it any other way," Umbriel said.

Fry was quite surprised. "Umbriel, are you trying to seduce me?"

"What do you think," she said as she wrapped her arms around him. "Come on, Fry, don't I at least get to thank you for saving my life?"

"Well, yeah, I guess."

Fry looked at his watch. "Oh my," he said. "It's getting late. I'd better go to bed soon."

"Where will I be sleeping?" asked Umbriel.

"Well, I don't have any sleeping bags," said Fry. "And I'm not too sure if the sofa can turn into a bed."

"I guess I'll have to share your bed," said Umbriel.

"I guess so," said Fry.

A little later, the lights were turned out. Fry and Umbriel were under the covers, side by side.

"Hey, Fry."

"Yeah, Umbriel?"

"Now that I'm human, do you want to finish what we started, but never finished in bed together back in Atlanta?"

"Ok!" said Fry. And he pulled the covers over him and Umbriel as they embraced.


To Be Continued