Fan Fiction

Return of Perfect Fry
By GrimSP

After Hard Halloween One,
Our Hero Has Been Missing,
Many Have Asked...
...Will He Ever Returned?
How the hell should I know!
Go ask him yourself!


Charlton is playing video games.

Graham: Charlton! You got another email saying when will Episode 5 come out!

We hear Master Chief has died and Charlton turns off his Xbox.

Charlton: God! I just want a break from writing and play video games. Just delete it.

Graham: I'm trying to delete it but it can't.

Charlton:Ok fine! I'll make another episode...

Homer Simpson
Prof. Dollar
Prof. Bluehair
and... um... Brett?


Written by: grimFUSION

At PA...

Brett: Everybody, enter the Science Room!

Nobody is listening to him.

Brett: Oh...

Joanna: Don't worry, Brett. Let me handle it. Everyone, enter the Science Room!

Then everyone enters the Science Room.

Fry: What's going on?

Dollar: We just got a call from Sam saying that his planet is in trouble. Bluehair, tell them.

Bluehair: Planet HomeBucks (the planet where Sam lives) is being destroyed by Spazis (National Space Evil Worker's Party).

Mario: Hey ya, aren't they like the FBI?

Dollar: Yes.

Bluehair: The leader of Spazis is Duck MoneyDevil.

Rick tells Fry (in sign language) something.

Brett: What did he tell you Fry?

Fry: He said he knows Duck MoneyDevil from his previous missions.

Fox: Well, Brett what is our mission?

Brett: Our mission, yes, all of us, must protect Sam and his planet from the Spazis.

Phil: Why is Duck MoneyDevil taking over HomeBucks anyway?

Dollar: Because HomeBucks is the planet that has alot of money.

Phil: Oh...

Bluehair: The main control of HomeBucks is its calculator, aka The Brain. If The Brain is destroyed, HomeBucks will be destroyed with it so we gotta protect that too.

Brett: And since Samus is good at aiming a target, she would be able to destroy the droids and ships of the Spazis.

Samus: Yes I can, I can kick their ass.


Charlton: Here is a flashback from Episode 3 which introduced already a bad guy.

Rick and Fry go outside and see the Spanish Godzilla.

We see the Spanish Godzilla destroying everything.

Spanish Godzilla: iBueno!

Fry: I have an idea. Let's shoot it!

Hippie: Don't shoot it! It's one of God's special creatures.

Fry: Great! A stupid hippie!

Samus comes in and she kills the hippie very hard and then we hear a big sound.

Fry: Thanks Samus!

Samus: You're welcome.

Samus leaves.

Fry then shoots the Spanish Godzilla but still he's not dead.

Fry: Well, I run out of ideas.

Rick grabs Fry and both of them hide.

Then we see Rick's leg trips the Spanish Godzilla.

Spanish Godzilla: iNo es bueno!

Spanish Godzilla lands on the road and dies.

Fry: Wow! Rick you did it.


Fry: Uh, Brett, I think we're lost.

Brett: No, we're not!

Fry: Well, do you even know where we are going?

Brett: I do... not know where we are going...

We see everyone in a big white space in the middle of nowhere.

Homer: I thought you knew where to go Bender!

Bender: Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey Homer! Stop it!

Homer: I just thought you know where to go.

Bender: How the hell should I know! It's all white here. We've been walking up north a lot.

We then see a bird flying and go through many agents.

Kirby: Right from Perfect Dark but don't tell anyone.

Then we see Phil running and listening to Chinese music.

Then the bird lands to Joanna's arm.

Joanna: Olaf! You came back! YAY!

We then see Master Chief and Samus together.

Master Chief: So Samus, want to be my partner in Halo 3: Metroids for Xbox 360 and Nintendo Revolution?

Samus: Sure, hotty.

Then we see Cortana teaching the Cafeteria Alien English.

Cortana: Ok, say this again in English, "Ok, a Mentos Hamburger costs $20".

The Cafeteria Aliens looks at the "English for Alien Dummies" book again.

Cafeteria Alien: Da mur that goim ratgut meoir mouthwash.

Cortana: D'oh!

PA then meets a rock band.

Weird Al: Ok, Mento Rockers, you better sound great and not crap.

Carl: But we always eat Mentos so our mouth doesn't smell like crap.

Weird Al: Oh be quiet!


Fry: Whoa! You're "Weird Al and the Mento Rockers". The ones that we stole music from for episode 2 and 3.

Ben: Well we aren't real Weird Als or Mento Rockers.

Dan: What he really means is that we are the Mento Rockers with Weird Al.

Fry: Oh dude can we join you guys with your music.

Weird Al: Oh the guys who stole our music.

Fry: What? (laughs a little) That... Oh... Prof. Bluehair please do something.

"Couch Potato With Mentos" starts

If you had
One shot
To sit on your lazy butt
And watch all the TV you ever wanted with an unlimited supply of Mentos
Until your brain turned to mush
Would you go for it?
Or just let it slip?

Remote is ready, mouth is open
Eyes wide, palms are sweaty
There's Flintstones on the TV already and Mentos commercials
Wilma 'n' Betty
No virgin to channel surfin' with no mentos
And I'm HD-ready
So I flip
Garbage is all I'm getting with no mentos, thank god but no for

There's Simon Cowell
Who folks wanna disembowel because he doesn't use Mentos
He opens his mouth and it smells bad and
Always says something foul
They're dyin', wow
Wannabes are crying now but what cheers them up is Mentos but
He votes them out
Time to throw in the towel

Shows based on reality
Whoa, the insanity for Mentos
Oh, dogs that crap and pee
Home of depravity?
No, they live happily with Mentos

There's Anna Nicole
Well, she's scaring me with no Mentos

"Look ma, no cavities" with Mentos
Oh, it's a station break
Better go out to the kitchen and eat Mentos

"You're gonna lose your mind watchin' TV and eating Mentos for your WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE"
They told me, cajoled me, "Turn off those music videos and stop eating those damn Mentos" (no)

My butt is aching and my mouth is saucy
As I watch NASCAR racing

"King of Queens" jumped the shark the first minute
I can't believe Richard Simmons ain't in it even with Mentos

"You're gonna lose your mind watching TV and eating Mentos for your WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE"

"You're gonna lose your mind watching TV and eating Mentos for your WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE"

Never missed "Melrose Place" or "Lost In Space" or Mentos
I only watched "Will And Grace" one time one day
Wish I hadn't 'cause TiVo now thinks I'm gay even with Mentos

Oh, and "Fear Factor" I watched maybe a half hour
After that, felt like I needed a long shower while eating Mentos

I gotta know who J. Lo is marryin' this week, is it Mentos?

I was planning on recording "The Sopranos"
I forgot because I was eating... MENTOS!

I love shows with or without a plot
I'll stare 'til my legs are numb, my eyes bloodshot
Because I only have got
One brain to rot
I'm gonna spend my life watching television and eating Mentos a lot!

"You're gonna lose your mind watching TV and eating Mentos for your WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE"
But I'd still tune in every show and eat Mentos

You can watch and eat anything you want to, man!

Weird Al: Wow! (gulps) that was... good?

Fry: Thanks. Um, Al, do you know where Planet HomeBucks are?

Weird Al: Oh! We had our concert there last week. It's not near here, it's near Mars and The Moon.

Prof. Dollar: Oh then where are we then?

Carl: You're in The Big White Space.

Brett: Ok, well thanks anyway guys.

The rock band says bye.

PA leaves them.


Prof. Bluehair: Oh, there's the exit!

We see a the EXIT sign leading them to a transporter.


Note: This is Charlton and this is a delete scene about Fry writing false (not true) stuff of Day 3 of his mission in his computer-journal

We see Fry writing in his computer-journal.

Day 3: As we go through the galaxy very far away from Earth, Jim commited suicide because he thought it was cool and Toby ate a chi wa wa (Fry then deletes that) I mean Toby died from accidentally swallowing a container that had Pringles inside them.

Then PA leaves the transporters and go to the train that leads to Planet HomeBucks.

Master Chief: Hey, this tram reminds of that tram in the beginning of Halo 2.

Cortana: D'oh!

Then out of nowhere a ship falls down and blocks the trail.

Samus: Whoa!

Master Chief: The Pillar of Autumn? NO!!!

Then PA gets out of the tram and starts walking on the path.

Joanna: Ok guys, remain where you are. Prof. Bluehair and Samus... destory the ship.

Prof. Bluehair pulls out his inventions and then shoots the walls. Now there are big holes through the ship.

Master Chief: NO!

Then Samus puts her big gun ready and make a much bigger hole through the ship.

Master Chief faints.

Brett: Whoa! Prof. Dollar, heal MC!

Prof. Dollar: MC, sir?

Brett: Master Chief!

Prof. Dollar: Oh...

Prof. Dollar walks up to MC and heals him.

Now MC is okay.

Master Chief: Whoa! Pretty lights...

We see PA running up to Planet HomeBucks.

Donkey Kong launches rockets at one of Duck MoneyDevil's units.

Duck MoneyDevil: You'll never beat me.

We see more explosives being thrown at Duck MoneyDevil's units.

Then we see 2 HomeBuckers (citizens of Planet HomeBucks) watching the explosives far away.

HomeBucker #1: Hey, where are does explosives coming from?

HomeBucker #2: Don't know...

Then the explosives land on them.

GAME OVER for HomeBucker #1 and #2!!!


Note: Hello this is Charlton and this commercial-break is about Hard Halloween One. This Halloween special about PF came out in Halloween 2004 and it became a big hit. Anyway, I'm showing you a little bit of "The HELL Short" from HH1 (SPOILER ALERT!) about the people in 4 teams.

Prof. Dollar: Well this Mars Base has 4 parts. Then we will meet here outside the Mars Base. There should then be where our spaceship and then look for Captain Wong in Mars Base 2. So we should split up.

Fry: I'll take Leela, and Prof. Dollar.

Bender: I'll take Homer, and Bart.

Mario: I'll take ya Brett and Phil.

Joanna: Me and Samus will go with each other as well we bring Bluehair.

Brett: Good. Now let's go...

TEAM 1: Fry, Leela, and Prof. Dollar
TEAM 2: Bender, Homer, and Bart
TEAM 3: Mario, Brett, and ya Phil
TEAM 4: Joanna, Samus, and Prof. Bluehair

Fry: Let's go!

We see Fry and Rick leading the way and the others are following them!

Master Chief: Why, the ship (cries)

Prof. Dollar is trying to calm him down.

Samus then shoots all of the ships.

The ships then land into the land and then explodes again and goes on top of the houses flying and then goes away from the planet making it have one last explosion. The last explosion ruined half the houses and banks.

Then Rick sees the Brain and then Fry sees the Brain also and Sam trying to call to Fry. Fry and Sam then try to get to the Brain closer. The others then see the Brain and also hear Halo music in their heads. Master Chief then sings Halo music in his hand.

Fry: Sam!

Sam: Hey guys! Glad you came!

Fry and Sam then make a handshake to show their friendship.

Rick then is protecting the Brain while the others come.

Then we see a ship that belongs to Duck MoneyDevil... and Werid Al and Mento Rockers?!!!!!!

Weird Al and Dan: WE ARE HERE TO KILL!

Fry: WHAT?!!!!!!

Carl and Ben: Yeah!

We see Weird Al and the Mento Rockers killing a few HomeBuckers.

Samus then destroys Weird Al and Mento Rockers' ship (and it is the last enemy ship). The ship blows up 2 times and then the parts of the ship land on all of the band members including Carl.

Carl: No!!! (cries)

Carl is died (and so is Weird Al, Dan, and Ben).

Brett: Wow! They're evil?

Then Duck MoneyDevil sees he is the only one left.

Duck MoneyDevil: Whoa! Crap, you beat.. up my ships!

We see Duck MoneyDevil in a big tank-like robot.

Duck MoneyDevil: I call it the MechAssualtDevil! (laughs in a evil way)

Prof. Bluehair: Damn it!

We then see Master Chief without his helmet (he is a robot) and Prof. Dollar is curing him.

Prof. Dollar: You okay?

Master Chief: Don't know...

Then Master Chief sees a MechAssualtDevil!

Master Chief: EWWWWWW!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Master Chief walks up to it.

Samus: Master Chief, no!!!

Duck MoneyDevil: (laughs) Already someone giving up! (laughs more)

Then everyone stares at Master Chief.

Master Chief: I don't like ugly things... (then starts to do something)

Master Chief vomits a lot on Duck MoneyDevil's MechAssualtDevil.

Then everyone stares at Master Chief.

Master Chief stops vomiting then vomits more than 10 times.

Duck MoneyDevil: Ew!!!!! NO!!!!!!! My new $1 Million MechAssualtDevil!!!! What's disgusting is that you think this is ugly??!! Your vomit with beans on it is way ugly than mine. Besides, mine is alot of money...

Leela then gets more disgusted of both MC and Duck MoneyDevil.

Then Duck MoneyDevil feels disgusted about MC's vomit that he commits suicide. The MechAssualtDevil then explodes 3 times (didn't kill anyone). MC lies on his own vomit.


Brett: Yeah!

No one cheers.

Joanna Dark: Yeah!

Then everyone cheers.

Phil: But wait, we don't have any music to enjoy with while cheering...

Fry: I got it!

Fry puts on King's Killer King aka KKK!

Killer King

By: King

She keeps Moet et Chandon, in her pretty cabinet that I saw
She Let Me eat cake she says, just like Marie Antoinette
A built in remedy, for Khrushchev and Kennedy
At anytime an invitation, I can't decline

Caviar and cigarettes
Well versed in etiquette
Extraordinarily nice

She's a Killer Queen and fit to be with the Killer King
Gunpowder, gelatine
Dynamite with a laser beam
Guaranteed to blow my mind
Anytime, ooh
Recommended at the price
Insatiable an appetite
Wanna try?

To avoid complications with her
She never kept the same thing In conversation, she spoke just like beautifully
Met a man from China, went down from being dumped and Then again met me

Perfume came naturally from Paris and in her
For losers she couldn't care less
Fastidious and precise

She's a Killer Queen and fit to be with the Killer King
Gunpowder, gelatine
Dynamite with a laser beam
Guaranteed to blow my mind

Drop of a hat she's a willing as
Playful as a pussy cat
Then momentarily out of action
Temporarily out of gas
To absolutely drive you wild, wild..
She's all out to get me

She's a Killer Queen and fit to be with the Killer King
Gunpowder, gelatine
Dynamite with a laser beam
Guaranteed to blow my mind
Anytime, ooh
Recommended at the price
Insatiable an appetite
Wanna try?
I wanna try

As the song was going... the kissing started.

Master Chief wiped himself and got ready to kiss Samus. Samus got shy... Master Chief and Samus kissed!

Prof. Bluehair and Prof. Dollar kiss the same HomeBucker female!

Bender kisses a female robot who looks hot... really..!

Mario kisses a female Italian!

Phil kisses a female Coach!

Homer Simpson kisses Marge Simpson!

Sam kisses a female HomeBucker!

Brett is about to kiss Joanna Dark but then Joanna Dark pushes Brett away from her. Brett was DUMPED!

Rick dances.

And finally...

FRY AND LEELA KISS (for a very long time)!!!

Everyone cheers and then one more KING song appeared.

We Are The Winners


We've paid our dues -
Time after time -
We've done our sentence
But committed no crime -
And bad mistakes
We've made a few
We've had our share of sand kicked in our faces -
But We've come through

We are the Winners - my friends
And we'll keep on fighting - till the end -
We are the Winners -
We are the Winners

No time for losers
'Cause we are the Winners - of the world -

We've taken our bows
And our curtain calls -
We brought me fame and fortune and everything that goes with it -
We thank you all -

But it's been no bed of roses
No pleasure cruise -
We consider it a challenge before the whole human race -
And we ain't gonna lose -

We are the Winners - my friends
And we'll keep on fighting - till the end -
We are the Winners -
We are the Winners
No time for losers
'Cause we are the Winners - of the world -

Everyone is dancing in slow motion and regular and cheers.


THE END!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Note: Hello this is Charlton! This is the ending to the Return of Perfect Fry. This episode is the long awaited Episode 5. The Mento Rockers are made up (not real).Weird Al is a real person but was made fun of in this episode. The Song "Couch Potato With Mentos" parodies the song "Couch Potato" by Weird Al and the Mentos part to this song was made up. Duck Money Devil is a parody of a cartoon character, Scrooge. Sam is from episode 2 of Perfect Fry. KING is a parody of my favorite band, Queen. KKK is a bad group. "Killer King" and "We Are The Winners" are parodies of Queen's songs "Killer Queen" and "We Are The Champions". I hope you enjoyed this episode and give it a great rank. The Deleted Scenes and Outtakes are not here but will come out soon in the Futurama Madhouse Message Board.