NOTE: Sorry if there are any plotholes in this script, its my first
attempt. If there is anything in this script that contradicts things from recent
real episodes, I apologise for that, as I have only seen the first 3 seasons of
Futurama in real life. In this script, not all camera angles are listed, only
the ones vital to the script. Anyway, I hope you enjoy my first Futurama fan fiction,
please feel free to email me your comments. Okay, on with the script.
Futurama intro begins to play.
CAPTION: Now with 15% more animals injured in the making of this show!
CARTOON CLIP: Peter passed out on the table from the first Family Guy episode.
Camera zooms up on the Planet Express building, short tune plays.
FARNSWORTH: Okay crew, as you know, theres been a lot of hype in the
media surrounding deliveries through the Aquarian galaxy. Their leader claims
that any spacecrafts seen trespassing through their galaxy will be shot down on
LEELA: Professor, Im pretty sure we all know about it. I mean, its
been in the news all month.
I didnt know about it.
FARNSWORTH: Thats okay, its completely irrelevant to your new mission.
I just wanted to make sure you were all aware of it. Anyway, for your next delivery,
you need to make sure this crate of landmines reaches planet Remalin by Thursday
LEELA: Isnt planet Remalin IN the Aquarian galaxy?!
FARNSWORTH: Oh my, no, its right at the end of it.
LEELA: Meaning well have to go THROUGH the Aquarian galaxy to get there?
FARNSWORTH: (uneasily) Well
(stands up) Oh my, looks like
my coffees ready, Ill have to go and get it now! (quickly walks in
to the kitchen)
FRY: Professor - dont you already HAVE a cup of coffee on your desk?
FRY: Professor? PROFESSOR?!?!
LEELA: Well, I dont care what he says, I am NOT flying the ship through
a restricted area, especially with landmines on board!
FRY: Oh, cmon, what could possibly go wrong?
LEELA: We could get killed.
FRY: Oh yeah
BENDER: Ah, for crying out loud, whats the big deal?! So what if we die,
at least I can be re-built!
LEELA: What about US, Bender?
BENDER: See - there you go again, always thinking of yourself!
Fansworth walks back in with a cup of coffee in his hands.
FARNSWORTH: Oh, youre still here? I thought you were off delivering those
LEELA: I am NOT flying through the Aquarian galaxy. Isnt there any other
way we can get to planet Remalin?
FARNSWORTH: Oh my, looks like my coffees ready! (quickly walks back in
to the kitchen)
Camera cuts to the section of the Planet Express building where the ship is.
Dr. Zoidberg, Bender and Fry are boarding the ship, but Leela is nowhere to be
BENDER: I still cant see why Leela refused to go on this mission, I mean,
its not like her life was in any danger!
FRY: Ah, dont worry Bender. Im sure us 3 can manage
Dr. Zoidberg runs in to the pilot section.
ZOIDBERG: Were in terrible danger! I poked one of those oysters were
delivering with a stick, and it blew up!
BENDER: Those were landmines, jackass.
ZOIDBERG: Uh-oh, then I shouldnt have eaten a plate full of them
FRY: Okay, now for take off
Fry looks blankly at the control panel.
BENDER: Fry, do you even know HOW to fly this thing?
FRY: Ah, dont worry, Ive been studying for ages, and with all the
training Leela gave me, what could possibly go wrong?
Fry presses a large red button on the control panel. A loud explosion is heard
and the ship shakes violently for a few seconds.
Fry presses a smaller red button next to the previous one he pressed, and an
elevating noise is heard.
FRY: There we go.
Camera cuts to the outside of the Planet Express building and a heroic tune
begins to play. The ceiling opens up and the ship begins to fly off unsteadily.
Camera cuts back inside the ship and the heroic tune begins to fade out. Fry
is at the helm, Bender is on the seat next to him with his feet up, and Zoidberg
is on a chair next to Bender.
ZOIDBERG: Fry, youre doing great!
Camera cuts to a view behind Frys head, and you can see out the front
window. Several small asteroids come in collision with the ship. Camera cuts to
BENDER: Fry, do you even know WHERE youre supposed to be going?
FRY: Of course, after all, I AM the captain.
BENDER: Well, planet Remalin is back THERE. (points in the opposite direction
to where Fry is heading)
Camera cuts to the outside of the ship. The ship does a poor U-turn and begins
flying unsteadily to where Bender was pointing. Camera goes back inside the ship.
BENDER: I told you, I should have been the captain.
FRY: What are you talking about? Im doing a great job!
Camera cuts to Zoidberg, asleep in his chair. A loud crash is heard and the
ship shakes a bit, waking Zoidberg.
ZOIDBERG: (startled) What? What was that?!
BENDER: Just Frys crappy piloting.
FRY: Shut up Bender, Id like to see YOU do a better job!
BENDER: Fine then, I WILL!
Bender walks hastily over to Fry and pushes him out of the pilots seat.
Bender takes the seat and grabs the controls. Camera cuts to view behind Benders
head. The ship picks up some pace and flies smoothly through space, avoiding all
FRY: Yeah right, thats just beginners luck.
BENDER: Actually, Ive flown this thing before. Wasnt it YOUR first
attempt though? (laughs)
Fry looks down at the ground with a disappointed expression on his face. He
then slowly walks out through the doors.
ZOIDBERG: Bender, you shouldnt be so hard on Fry. If his self esteem
gets too low, his eggs might hatch prematurely!
Camera cuts to Planet Express building, short tune plays. Camera cuts inside
Planet Express building to the TV room. Leela is sitting on the couch, somewhat
angry and Amy walks in. Amy looks over at Leela.
AMY: Whats wrong?
LEELA: Its the Professor. I cant believe his blatant ignorance
for the crews safety, its just appauling.
AMY: Oh, cheer up, Ive seen those guys get out of worse situations
LEELA: Yeah, but I was always the one who saved them! Not to mention how awful
a pilot Fry is. When I was training him, he managed to crash the ship in to 20
asteroids in 10 seconds
Maybe I SHOULD have gone with them?
Camera cuts to the ship for a few seconds, then goes to Frys room. Fry
is sitting on his bed, looking glum.
FRY: (to himself) All I wanted to do was be a good pilot, and Im awful
at THAT too
Zoidberg walks in.
ZOIDBERG: Cheer up Fry, just because youre bad at being a pilot doesnt
make you a bad pilot
FRY: Its not that
ZOIDBERG: So what is it? I mean, youre far too young to have hit your
second puberty in which you shred your skin
FRY: No, its Bender. I mean, I like having him for a friend, but sometimes,
he can just be a jerk, you know?
ZOIDBERG: He is?! (scratches head) I thought he was a robot?!
FRY: Oh, nevermind
I just wanted to be a good captain, thats all.
But I guess Ill never be as good as Bender
A loud explosion is heard and the ship begins shaking violently, non-stop.
The room begins to flash red and a repetitive siren is heard. Bender runs in the
room flailing his arms.
BENDER: WERE ALL GONNA DIE!!!
FRY: What do you mean were all gonna die?!
BENDER: We just entered the Aquarian galaxy and weve been shot at! The
Aquarian police say we either surrender or die!
what happens if we dont surrender?
FRY: Well cmon, we dont have a choice, we HAVE to surrender!
BENDER: Frys right, the heat of the explosion would make the Bender you
all love completely disintegrate to dust!
Bender, Fry and Zoidberg walk in to the pilot section.
FRY: Bender, fire the surrender flair!
Bender presses a button and a sparkly white flair gets fired from the side
of the ship. The flair goes up and destroys one of the police vehicles.
BENDER: Oh crap
Camera cuts to a scene of a prison-like building on a strange planet with orange
grass and purple sky. A small tune plays as the camera zooms in. After tune finishes,
camera cuts to scene of Bender, Zoidberg and Fry in a prison cell. A giant yellow
prison guard with tentacles is standing at the front of the cell.
FRY: Well this is just GREAT. You know, Bender, if you had let ME pilot the
ship, we might have been better off.
Bender starts laughing.
PRISON GUARD: Silence! You will not talk until you receive your verdict!
Everyone goes silent and just stands there for about 20 seconds.
PRISON GUARD: You will now receive your verdict!
A yellow judge with tentacles walks up to the bars.
JUDGE: Under the crime of trespassing forbidden Aquarian Galaxy zones, I hereby
sentence Phillip J. Fry, Dr. John Zoidberg and Bender Bending Rodriquez to DEATH!
Dr. Zoidberg, Fry and Bender all let out worried gasps.
JUDGE: And, under the crime of destroying Aquarian Galaxy Police Force vehicles,
I hereby sentence Phillip J. Fry, Dr. John Zoidberg and Bender Bending Rodriquez
to a much slower and painful death!
Dr. Zoidberg, Fry and Bender all let out worried gasps again.
PRISON GUARD: Silence! You will not gasp until you receive your verdict!
FRY: But we already received our verdict!
PRISON GUARD: Then you may gasp.
Dr. Zoidberg, Fry and Bender all let out worried gasps again.
Camera zooms up on the prison-like building on the strange alien planet, small
tune plays. Camera cuts back to the prison cell.
FRY: Oh god, we gotta find a way out of here!
PRISON GUARD: Silence! You will not speak any more words until you receive
BENDER: But isnt our sentence DEATH?
PRISON GUARD: No, your sentence is a slow and painful death!
FRY: W-w-w-when are we g-gonna be s-sentenced?
PRISON GUARD: At approximately 0900 hours tomorrow.
FRY: W-what t-time is it n-now?
PRISON GUARD: 1700 hours.
Fry gives the prison guard a puzzled look, then preceeds to count his fingers.
ZOIDBERG: Oh, all the things I never got to see and then devour
Zoidberg begins to cry, and then attempts to wipe his tears with his claws,
but ends up accidentally cutting his eye.
Camera cuts to the Planet Express building, and a small tune plays. Camera
then cuts to the television room and Leela, Farnsworth, Hermes and Amy are all
watching the news.
LINDA: And in other news today, three members of the Planet Express delivery
crew have been captured trying to trespass through the Aquarian galaxy, and have
been sentenced to slow and painful death. What do you think, Morbo?
MORBO: Morbo thinks those three puny humans deserve the slowest and most painful
LINDA: Hahahaha, thats definitely correct, although only one of them
is a human!
MORBO: Well, Morbo says that one human will get whats coming to him!
Leela turns the TV off.
LEELA: See Professor? I told you it was a bad idea sending us to deliver those
land mines on planet Remalin.
FARNSWORTH: I regret nothing!
LEELA: But we cant just let them die! Im going to break them out,
whos with me?
Hermes and Amy mutter unenthuseastically between them, then everyone goes silent.
LEELA: Argh, fine then, Ill go by myself! (walks off)
Camera zooms up on the prison-like building on the strange alien planet again,
small tune plays. Camera cuts to a long, green hall with a long row of separate
cells. The Prison Guard is walking down, with Dr. Zoidberg, Fry and Bender all
chained up to him.
PRISON GUARD: Mr. Rodriquez, your new cell will be here.
The prison guard pushes Bender in to the cell then locks the door.
PRISON GUARD: Mr. Fry, your new cell will be here.
The prison guard pushes Fry in to the cell next to Bender then locks the door.
PRISON GUARD: And as for you, Dr. Zoidberg, youre going to have to share
a cell with Tommy Henderson. Hes also from Earth, so chances are you know
each other. Hes been convicted of mass murder on cellmates.
Dr. Zoidberg goes silent for a few seconds.
The prison guard pushes Dr. Zoidberg in to a dark cell with a man with spiked
grey hair and a grey beard. The grey haired man, Tommy Henderson, gives Dr. Zoidberg
an evil look.
ZOIDBERG: So, what are you into? I collect sea shells!
Camera cuts to the 2 neighbouring cells with Bender and Fry.
FRY: (whispering) So, Bender, think you can bend these bars?
BENDER: Yeah, no problem! We just have to wait for the guard to leave
FRY: Got it
Fry and Bender look down the hall and see the Prison Guard leaving. Once he
was walked off, they let out a sigh of relief. Seconds later, another Prison Guard
enters the hall.
FRY & BENDER: (annoyed) Awwww!
Camera cuts to the Planet Express building for a few seconds. Camera then cuts
to the room where they keep the ship. Leela is seen pacing around.
LEELA: (to herself) Okay, so we have no form of transport that can reach the
Think, you MUST know someone with a ship whos willing
to help you
Leela stops walking and raises her eyebrow.
Camera cuts to Zapp Brannigan sitting down on a chair. Small, dangerous tune
ZAPP: So, captain Leela, what will I get in return for lending you my space
LEELA: (annoyed) Look, I am NOT going to have sex with you, alright? I am asking
you for a FAVOUR, captain to captain?
ZAPP: Ah, I see. (winks at Leela) This captain to captain actions
intrigues and arouses me!
LEELA: For gods sake, will you STOP with this whole trying to seduce
me act, its not working and it never will do, alright?
ZAPP: And WHY should I lend my space crusier to someone who speaks to me like
LEELA: Because doing so will make me hate you less?
ZAPP: That may be true, but will it get you in the sack with the Zapper?
ZAPP: Well, in that case
LEELA: Come on Zapp, PLEASE? This is for my friends.
ZAPP: Perhaps you could ask me in a more
Leela lets out another annoyed sigh.
LEELA: (in a sexy way) Oh, Zapper, would you PLEEEASE reconsider?
ZAPP: (grinning) Very well, Leela. You make an erotically persuasive point.
You may borrow my space cruiser, under one condition
LEELA: (suspicious) And what condition might that be?
ZAPP: It must come back to me in PERFECT condition, OR ELSE
LEELA: Or else what?
ZAPP: Or else I will have to buy a new one. Right this way
Zapp gets up and begins walking. Leela follows. After a while, the 2 get to
a small grey rocket with Zapp Brannigans face painted on the side.
ZAPP: Here you go, babe. My personal space cruiser. I think a sexy pilot like
yourself should be experienced enough at flying a beautiful piece of machinery
like this. Its especially beautiful as it has my face on the side.
LEELA: I see
ZAPP: Well, have a wild ride, baby! And remember, if youd like to reconsider
my offer, Ill be right here, baby!
LEELA: (muttering) Jackass
ZAPP: What was that?
LEELA: Uh, thank you!
Zapp hands Leela the keys and she opens the door and climbs in the space cruiser,
closing the door behind her. After a few seconds, it goes in to ignition mode
and blasts off.
ZAPP: (calling) KIF!
Kif walks over to Zapp.
KIF: (unenthusiastically) What is it, sir?
ZAPP: Kif, inform the men on my progress with Leela!
Kif lets out an annoyed sigh and walks off.
Camera shows a long shot of Earth, and after a few seconds, Zapps space
cruiser zooms up from Earth, and Leela can be seen in the captains seat.
After the cruiser passes by the camera, the camera cuts to Leela in the spaceship,
studying the controls.
LEELA: (to herself) Hmmm
the controls of Zapp Brannigans space
cruiser seem to be just like the ones on the Planet Express ship, only smaller
Leela looks around the ship.
LEELA: And covered in pictures of his face
Camera goes to behind view of ship and shows it zooming off in to the vanishing
point. After a few seconds, camera cuts to the Aquarian Galaxy prison and short
tune plays. Once tune is finished, camera cuts to Fry and Benders cells.
FRY: So, how long until we die?
BENDER: 12 hours, just like it was when you asked me 5 seconds ago.
Fry wraps his arms around himself, then goes silent for a few seconds.
how much longer now?
Camera goes to the cell with Zoidberg and Tommy Henderson.
ZOIDBERG: So, I heard you murdered all your other cellmates. How did that happen?
Tommy remains silent, still giving Zoidberg an evil look.
do you want me to continue with MY story?
ZOIDBERG: Ill take that as a yes. So anyway, after I moved to New New
Camera goes back to Zapp Brannigans space cruiser. After a few seconds,
camera cuts to Leela in the pilots seat.
LEELA: Okay, according to my radar, I should be entering the Aquarian Galaxy
Heroic music begins to play. Camera goes to a side view of Zapps space
cruiser, following the ship. Lots of lasers are fired at the ship, and Leela dodges
them all using her great pilots expertise. After a while, the bombardment
of lasers finishes. Camera cuts to Leela.
LEELA: (looking at space cruisers CPU system) shield reactors normal,
no damage done
Camera cuts to a view behind Leelas head, and she accidentally hits an
LEELA: Oops. (looks at radar) Okay, looks like Im approaching the Aquarian
Camera shows the space cruiser heading towards a small planet. Once space cruiser
enters the atmosphere, camera cuts to the prison building, and the space cruiser
comes to a nice, clean landing a few metres away from it. The space cruiser door
opens, and Leela jumps out.
LEELA: Okay, this is going to require expert stealth
Leela begins slowly sneaking up to the building without being seen by the 2
guards at the enterance.
LEELA: Ah, to hell with it. (runs up to guards) Hi-YAH!
Leela engages in ass-kicking with the 2 guards, as you would expect. Once the
2 guards are on the floor, the heroic music stops and the camera cuts to Bender
and Frys cells.
FRY: How much longer now?
BENDER: WILL YOU SHUT UP?!?!
Siren begins to wail and the hall flashes red.
FRY: Ahhhh! Whats going on?!
Camera cuts to the door on the hall, and Leela enters.
FRY: Leelas come to save us!
Camera goes back to Leela, and 3 guards come out of nowhere and attempt to
ambush her, but she manages to beat all 3 up with ease. Camera cuts to Zoidbergs
ZOIDBERG: Hurray, shes beating up all the guards!
Tommy does an evil smile and takes out a knife. Camera goes back to Benders
BENDER: And now for these bars to meet Bender
as a bending unit!
Bender grabs 2 bars in front of them, and bends them open.
FRY: Alright, go Bender!
BENDER: NOBODY can keep Bender in prison!
Bender then climbs out of his cell and then begins bending the bars on Frys
cell. Camera goes back to Leela, whos using her karate moves on another
prison guard. After that prison guard is down, Leela runs over to Bender and Fry,
who are both free from their cells.
LEELA: Bender - you go and break out Zoidberg! And hurry before more guards
BENDER: Do I have to?
Camera cuts to Zoidbergs cell. Tommy is holding his knife up in the sky,
smiling. Dr. Zoidberg looks over at Tommy.
ZOIDBERG: Oooh, such a shiny knife
Tommy takes a stab at Zoidbergs head, and misses by a few inches.
ZOIDBERG: Hey, watch it, you could have poked my eye out!
Suddenly, Bender runs up to the cell and bends the bars open.
BENDER: Come quick!
Bender runs off, and Zoidberg follows. After a few seconds, Tommy also walks
out of his cell. He raises his head and does an evil laugh. Camera cuts to the
front of the hall, where Leela, Fry, Bender and Zoidberg are making their getaway.
LEELA: Hurry, before more guards come!
The 4 rush down a small hallway and towards the door, only to discover the
gates have been locked with steel bars.
LEELA: Bender! Can you bend these bars?
BENDER: Well, Ill try.
Bender walks up to the bars and attempts to bend them. He is obviously struggling,
but isnt giving up.
Leela takes a glimpse down the main hall, and a swarm of guards are heading
towards the 4.
LEELA: Come on Bender, I dont think I could fight off THAT MANY guards!
Bender tries to bend the bars open, but tries so hard that his arms fall off.
BENDER: Ah crap!
Suddenly, the 2 bars Bender was trying to bend fall out of their place and
LEELA: Come on, quick!
Leela runs off. Fry picks up Benders arms, and runs off too, followed
by Dr. Zoidberg and the armless Bender. They all squeeze in to the space cruiser,
and the doors close just as the swarm of guards runs outside after them. The guards
all scream at the space cruiser as it takes off. Camera cuts to the inside of
the space cruiser.
FRY: Yeah Leela, you did it!
BENDER: Hey, what about ME? I was the one who bent the bars!
FRY: And you did a great job.
ZOIDBERG: Hey, now that I think about it
I think that Tommy Henderson
person didnt like me much!
LEELA: Well, I just hope the Professor learnt his lesson. Now what do you say
we head home?
Everyone cheers, and sentimental music begins to play. Camera goes to the back
of the space cruiser as it flies off in to the distance, dodging several lasers.
Screen and music fade out, and the credits come up.