Guenther: A Question of Intellect
By Brain Gremlin
Stupid humans.....stupid, stupid humans. All idiots, especially Fry, giving his life for someone else's is such a human trait.
Look at what he's done, they cry, all the stupid humans, robots and aliens. What do they know? Weeping like that, it's humiliating. Do they think I don't care? Of course I do, but I won't make a fool out of myself like them. Fry wouldn't cry if I died....right?
We weren't friends, not at all, but still...I.....kinda.....looked up to him. When we were roommates I got the good grades, the women and I had more friends then he did. But he....was more of what I wanted to be. More human then I could ever be, he had....fun. What did I have? I had to be what I was made to be.
I was miserable, and always would have been if not for his advice. Now I have found a little happiness, and no longer have anyone always expecting the best of me like the professor always did. All thanks to Fry.
Stupid human, stupid hat. Monkeys shouldn't cry, it's humiliating, and thanks to the stupid hat tears are running down my face. I can't stop them now.....stupid Fry.
It was such a human thing; I would never have done it, never. Sacrificing myself for another, no way. Because, well, I'm not close to anyone, not like he was to Leela. Bah! Why would anyone do it?! She might have survived! The whole bee thing was her own fault from what I've heard. Honestly, taking a deadly space bee onto the ship, she deserved it, not you! YOU DAMN STUPID HUMAN!
So why do I morn then? It's not like it wasn't his own choice. Even with my no longer genius brain I wouldn't have done something so feeble minded, not even if that person was very close to me. Right? Really, I'm not sure anymore.
Fry, good guy, funny guy, my former roommate died. His corpse is being launched into space. All these unhappy people, so many lives he's affected, more then he'll ever know. I liked him, even if he didn't like me. Sorry Fry for all the names I called you, for all the stuff I did to you. You'll never know how sorry I am.
I always thought the idea of God was laughable, but now I really, really hope I'm wrong.
Giving your life for someone else's honestly.....
Goodbye you stupid, stupid human.
Damn this hat, I can't stop crying.