Futurama

Fan Fiction

Going Insane 1 - Personality Blend
By GHT

[Leela and Fry are at their wedding and have just said their vows. Fry is the happiest man on Earth, when all of a sudden a huge black hole opens up and destroys the love letter of stars above them and then the black void grows and consumes everything, leaving only black and sorrow]

[Fry then wakes up with a start]

FRY: Oh man! What a nightmare! We were so close to finally being happy, but like that the one thing that could have gotten Leela to love me is gone, DESTROYED! And by none other than Leela herself! Well that is it! There has to be another way to win Leela’s heart, and I just have to find it!

BENDER: Hey keep it down in there skintube!

FRY (whispering): I just have to.

 

[The next day at the planet Express Building Fry arrives bright and early just as Hermes shows up]

HERMES: Great Gatsby Man!!! What are you doing here so early Fry! Usually you are late and barely make it for the meeting.

FRY: Yeah I know, I am trying to become more mature and responsible.

HERMES: Oh I know what brought about this sudden change in ya. It is Leela isn’t it?

FRY: How did you know?

HERMES: You are not married as long as I without knowing a thing or two about love. Don’t worry your little secret is safe with me.

FRY: Thanks Hermes.

HERMES: Don’t mention it mon, just do one thing for me.

FRY: What?

HERMES: Wake up the professor, he usually needs some fluids drained about now.

FRY: Oh man do I have to?

HERMES: Yes.

 

[In the professor’s room, Fry enters and wakes the professor]

Farnsworth: HA! WA! WA! What plan to destroy the Earth I don’t know what you are talking about!

FRY: Professor, it’s me Fry, it is time for you to uh release some of your fluids.

Farnsworth: Ah yes Fry, thanks for reminding me. I will just take a minute, just don’t touch anything! Especially not the what if machine over there. I think someone has been stealing devices and using lab equipment without my permission.

FRY: Ok professor.

[The professor then shuffles off into the bathroom at a half mile per hour]

FRY (thinking): This is taking forever. Hmmm…a what if machine. I remember that it tells you the answer to a what if question. That is how I will know how to get Leela without having to go through the pain and embarrassment of failing.

[Fry then goes over to the machine and rubs it]

FRY: Yes this is what I will use. I will just have to do it when nobody is around.

Farnsworth: Uh Fry can you come in here I think I need your help.

[Fry then quivers with disgust and goes in, some time later at the conference table]

Farnsworth: good news everyone! You all will be making a delivery today to 9 pin the bowling planet. Also I have created this!

[the professor pulls a cloth off a small stand and a small piece of what looks like dust is seen]

Farnsworth: this is my mind behavioural reprogrammer and scanner. With this someone can go into another person's brain and reprogram its most basic functions to whatever the user wished. I just can’t remember what it delivery system was.

[the professor then trailed off in thought like he always does]

HERMES: Fry actually came in early this morning and helped me to release some unwanted fluids, now all bets on the table, who won ?

AMY: I bet three years

LEELA: I bet five

ZOIDBURG: I bet this clam, but I ate it.

HERMES: I bet never

Farnsworth: And I bet two years

HERMES: Well it appears that Leela won this contest. Here are your winnings, it comes to two-thousand dollars and ninety three cents.

LEELA: Oh wow! This is great! Now I can finally afford some new boots and a wristamajugger upgrade! Thanks for being more mature Fry!

[Fry then receives a sweet, I just won the lotto, kiss on the cheek from Leela]

FRY: Don’t mention it, hey wait you were betting on how long it would take before I came to work on time!

HERMES: It was all for fun mon. we never actually thought you would do it.

LEELA: No hard feelings Fry, we never thought it would ever go this far.

FRY: I don’t believe this! Nobody thought I could ever become more mature and responsible?

AMY: Nope

HERMES: No

Farnsworth: Indeed, never

ZOIDBURG: When I get to eat on a regular basis

LEELA: Sorry Fry, but I was having my doubts too.

FRY: Oh I will show you! I will show all of you that I can become more mature.

[Fry then ran off and hid somewhere to collect his thoughts.]

LEELA: You all should be ashamed of yourselves! Fry finally beats the odds and becomes more mature and you all laugh about it! I am going to find him and apologize.

[Leela walks off angry at the others to find Fry.]

 

FRY (crying): Oh I give up. This is hopeless. I try to become more mature and they all laugh at me like it all was some kind of a joke.

[Just then Leela comes out from the shadows.]

LEELA: Oh Fry. I am sorry for making fun of you back there, but it is no reason to quit. I just know you can do it. All you need to do is try.

FRY: I don’t know even just coming to work today early was only because of a nightmare I had and could not sleep. I don’t think I even have it in me to be responsible. I mean if I was responsible and mature I would have never been frozen and come to the future.

LEELA: Oh just try Fry. I know you will become responsible one day.

FRY: Alright I’ll try.

[They walk off together and go to the ship.]

HERMES: It is about time woman! Lets go they really need these bowling balls where you are going.

LEELA: Alright lets go.

[The ship takes off and Fry is in his room sleeping. ]

FRY: Leela look at how mature I have become!

LEELA: Ha ha ha! It is never good enough! You will never be able to meet my standars, and the only shot you ever had was destroyed by none other than yours truly. You should have kept the worms you fool!!!

[Fry then woke up startled and distraught by the dream he just had.]

FRY (thinking): Oh man how long can I go on living like this.

[Fry looks around his cabin ad asses the dump he has been living in.]

FRY: I can’t go on like this. It is time for a change.

[Fry then got out of his bed and cleaned up the room. He put all the laundry in the hamper, and threw all the trash down the chute and out of the ship. He then went down the get his laundry done and came back in ten minutes.]

FRY: Wow in the future even the crummy washer we have in the broom closet is really fast compared to what I had to deal with.

[Fry then put away all his clothes and put on a new set. He then went up to the bridge.]

LEELA: Oh hey Fry, wait a minute something is different about you. GASP! Did you actually wash your clothes!

FRY: Yeah what is surprising about that?

LEELA: Oh nothing, not until we get back anyhow.

FRY: Are we going to get there soon?

LEELA: Not there yet…oh wait now we are.

[The crew disembark and go their separate ways.]

LEELA: Not so fast Fry, someone has to help me to deliver this cargo.

FRY: Oh man why do I have to do it all the time?

LEELA: Well what ever happened to the mature Fry?

FRY: Oh nothing he is just on a break.

LEELA: Well either way you are going to deliver that crate to that bowling alley while I do some maintenance on the ship.

FRY: Yes ma’am.

 

[Fry uses the hover dolly to bring the crate to the bowling alley and delivers it.]

FRY: Well that was uneventful. I had better go back to the ship before they forget about me and leave.

[Fry goes back to the ship not knowing that Leela is watching]

LEELA (thinking): Hmmm…I feel sorry for him. It almost looks like he is struggling within himself against some primal instinct and loosing slowly but surely. But I think I know how to solve that problem.

 

[After an uneventful delivery the crew all head home, except for two who are hiding in the building long after the lights are out and everyone has left.]

FRY (thinking): This is the perfect opportunity to find out how to win Leela’s heart.

[In another storage closet]

LEELA (thinking): If I can make a mini-droid of myself and use the mind behavioural scanner I can make Fry more mature, and who knows what will happen then.

[They both sneak out and go into the darkened lab without seeing each other]

FRY: Here it is…I just have to be really quiet

[He turns the what if machine on]

FRY: What if I become more mature and responsible?

[A what if scenario plays showing Fry and Leela being closer together, but they still never fall in love.]

FRY: What if I write I love you Leela in the sky with stars again?

[A what if scenario plays showing Fry making the message, but he puts it into the wrong part of the sky and it is too big and up close for anyone to see, it then combines into one super star and explodes obliterating half the galaxy.]

FRY: This may take longer than I thought. What if….

 

[Cut to Leela in the scanning machine.]

LEELA: All done. Now all I have to do is implant myself in Fry and use the device.

[She stores the minidroid and reprogrammer in a small box and leaves the building]

 

[Fifty what ifs later we see Fry delirious on the floor about to pass out of exhaustion from thinking too much, he then decides to find out what would happen if he had done something differently.]

FRY: What if I never got rid of the worms?

[There is a what if scenario of him and Leela making love that night he got rid of the worms, and then the next day, he falls over when he tries to get out of bed, because of a strange pain in his head. He then speaks in monotone because the worms have only helped him become strong and smart, so they could have a good host to live in, and take over.]

FRY: Wow good thing I got rid of those. What if I took Leela up with me when I got a safe distance away from the doomsday device?

[Scenario shows Fry and Leela looking at the message and then passionately kissing, however the doomsday device was not calibrated correctly and there is a massive explosion instead of implosion that causes time to skip ahead until the apocalypse and everyone dies a horrible fiery death.]

FRY: Wow now I am really glad I didn’t do that. What if Leela was more impulsive and lightened up a little?

[The scenario skips ahead to Leela cornering Fry like in anthology of interest I, and then shows them after sleeping together and Leela gets the lights.]

FRY: WOW!! I really like that one! But how can I do that?

[Fry using both the power of his heart and mind remembers the invention the professor showed this morning]

FRY: Of course that is how I will do it!, although I do feel it is a little wrong to do that. I’ll have to sleep on it.

[Fry looks down at his watch]

FRY: Oh my God! It is four a.m. I have to get some sleep and look normal in the morning so nobody becomes suspicious.

[Fry runs to the nearest quick-e-mart]

FRY: I need your strongest pep pill!

CASHIER: Well ok, will you sign this waiver?

FRY: Yeah sure whatever just give it to me!

CASHIER: Ok here you go buddy.

[He hands Fry a large bottle and Fry pays for it.]

FRY: This may have cost me, but if it will help me to look like I was responsible and didn’t spend all night up then I just might have a chance.

[Fry opened the bottle and took three of the massive pills]

FRY: Oh man those were rough going down. Hey what does this warning label say?

[Fry reads the label, it says: caution only take one pill ever day. Any more than one may cause extreme hyper activity to the point of neat death experience.]

FRY: Ah I feel fine. Oh no Hermes is going to be at the door soon. I have to make it look like I was there waiting the whole time.

[Fry then ran to the Planet Express Building and was there faster than if a hyper tube had taken him. ]

FRY: Alright this is awesome!

HERMES: I can’t believe my eyes! Fry! Here earlier than me! And looking like he got a good nights sleep and is ready to start the work day. I think this crush you have has gone to your head mon.

FRY: No time must keep moving.

HERMES: Oh there will be plenty of that today. We have to clean up and get this place ready for a heath and safety inspection tomorrow. Looks like you all will be putting in overtime today.

[Hermes opens the door and Fry runs in. at a blinding pace before his very eyes Fry cleans, fixes, and readies everything for the inspection in ten minutes.]

HERMES: My God Man!!! You cleaned this place up faster than nibbler finishing off an all you can eat buffet! Well it will be an interesting meeting today.

[At he conference table everyone is taking their seats when Fry runs over an sits down before all of them.]

Farnsworth: Good news everyone, Fry has stupidly taken three atomic strength pep pills and has done all the work for today in the first few minutes this place was unlocked, so you all have the day off.

EVERYONE: YAYYYYY!!!!

[Everyone gets up and is leaving when Fry goes over to Leela.]

FRY: So Leela, now that I am so mature and responsible that I have done this for you all, do you want to go to the café across the street with me?

LEELA (thinking): This will be the perfect chance to plant the droid.

LEELA: Sure Fry, now that you are more mature and wont make a fool of yourself in public I would love to.

[They go across the street to the café.]

FRY: I’ll have some water to start, I will be back in a minute, I forgot to get something from the building.

[Fry rushes away and Leela plants the droid in Fry’s water. In the building Fry uses the what if machine.]

FRY: What if I went with Leela to the café across the street, and ran in to use the what if machine?

[Scenario shows what Fry just did, then Fry watching this scenario, then Fry going back and having an uneventful yet nice sort of date with Leela.]

FRY: Well that was anticlimactic, hey wait it showed me saying that just now. It really does work.

[Fry went back out to the café and started to talk with Leela and eat some bread that was brought to the table.]

FRY: So how have things been with you?

LEELA: Oh nothing much really, although I am almost ready to put a window in my living room.

FRY: Oh that’s nice, I have been just sort of trying to be more mature and responsible, like what happened today along with doing laundry and cleaning up.

LEELA: Oh really that is interesting. So how is the water?

FRY: Not bad it is a lot cleaner than old new york water though.

LEELA: Good just be sure to drink it all.

FRY: Why?

LEELA: Uh um because it is good for you and mature people do that.

[Fry then drinks his water really fast and swallows the minidroid.]

LEELA: well I have to be on my way then. See you later.

FRY: Ok see you tomorrow.

LEELA (thinking): Maybe sooner than you think.

 

[Leela then went home and put on a net-suit and started to control the mini-droid inside Fry.]

LEELA: Wow this place sure is a dump since those worms left. I hope that he forgives me for throwing him out on the street without even giving him a chance.

[The droid makes its way to Fry’s brain]

LEELA: Ok then. Lets get started.

[She activates the device and it launches probes that lodge in Fry’s brain and a computer screen on the device turns on.]

LEELA: Now lets see here. We need to do some reprogramming.

[She begins to type in parameters that have to be changed in Fry’s mind]

LEELA: Be a little more serious, take a lot more responsibility for your actions, act more mature, keep it all within some degree of moderation. That should do it. I had better get the device back before someone notices that it is gone.

[The droid exits the body trough the nose and lands on the pavement outside of robot arms apartments just as Fry was about to walk in.]

LEELA: Alright all I have to do now is bring back that device before anyone notices.

[She goes down to the apartment and retrieves the droid. Meanwhile in Fry’s room.]

FRY: Oh man I feel weird like now I suddenly feel as though I have to do more chores around here and eat a healthy meal. Ehh, it couldn’t hurt.

[Fry cleans up more and goes grocery shopping.]

FRY: I think I will buy some healthy foods like fruits and vegetables.

[Fry comes back and unpacks his groceries.]

FRY: Alright it is getting dark. Time to put my plan into motion.

[Fry went to the Planet Express Building and got in trough an unlocked window.]

FRY: Alright I am in time to get that device and make a mini-droid of myself.

[Fry makes his droid and takes the device. Using his super speed he then rushes over to Leela’s apartment and sees her installing that damn window. ]

FRY: Perfect now all I have to do I plant the droid.

[Fry uses a blow tube and launches the droid into Leela’s hair.]

FRY: Alright now all I have to do is activate it and my plan will soon be completed. Hey why am I using such good grammar? Must be a maturity thing.

 

[Back at Fry’s apartment he controls the droid with a net suit he borrowed.]

FRY: Alright I am in. wow Leela’s hair is really thick. It is like being in a purple rainforest.

[Fry droid gets into the ear and then into the brain.]

FRY: Here we go.

[Activates device and it attaches to Leela’s brain.]

FRY (programming): Be a little more impulsive, lower your standards a bit for Fry, try to loosen up a bit. Be a little nicer when Fry screws up. That aught to do it.

[Fry then left Leela’s body and dropped to the street. Fry later on retrieved the droid and returns it to the lab before it is missed. ]

[The next day at the Planet Express Building, Fry there already for the third time in a row]

LEELA: Hi everyone on I whim I did a little shopping and look at these new boots I got they are just like my old ones, but with the crazy green stripe. Cool huh?

Farnsworth: Leela can I see you in my office for a moment?

[In Farnsworth’s office]

Farnsworth: As you know I will not live for ever, so I have left you my sole air because you are so unimpulsive.

LEELA: Hello new boots.

Farnsworth: Yes, yes I know, anyway when I die you will be a very wealthy woman.

[Leela then kicks Farnsworth into the man eating ant eater pit]

Farnsworth: Ha ha! I knew this was coming! You are out of the will! And I would also like to tell you next time you feel like killing just have a stick of gum.

LEELA: Oh ok then.

 

[At the conference table.]

Farnsworth: Good news everyone. I now have evidence that someone has been tampering with the equipment and stealing devices from my lab. I do not know who it is yet, but when I do find out I will sick my doomsday weapon on you for it.

[Fry, Leela, and Bender start to whistle in a vain attempt to act nonchalant.]

HERMES: Ok then we still have an inspection to pass today, so everyone act properly. Or you are fired! The inspector will be here in two seconds, one, now.

[Just then Morgan proctor walked into the room]

PROCTOR: well it seems we meet again Hermes, hello Fry.

FRY: Hi.

PROCTOR: I will be inspecting you all today, and if I even see one code violation all of you will be out of the job, except Fry.

LEELA (whispering to Fry): Oh no, we are fired for sure!

FRY (whispering to Leela): Please forgive me for anything I do today, and just know it is only for the good of us all.

PROCTOR: Alright I want to see all of you in your quarters on the ship right now for inspection.

[Everyone starts to go to the ship]

PROCTOR: Except you Fry.

[Once everyone is on the ship]

PROCTOR: You know Fry I still have a thing for you.

FRY (thinking):Forgive me Leela.

FRY: Do you want to see my quarters first?

[They go to Fry’s quarters on the ship, the room is very clean and neat, proctor is disappointed]

FRY: Damn cleaning robot!

[Fry then rips open all the draws and throws the clothes on the floor]

PROCTOR: Oh dirty boy! Oh you dirty little boy!

[They start passionately making out and progressively get to the bed]

 

[An hour or so later]

AMY: Man this is taking way too long! I am going to find out what the heck it going on around here!

[She marches toward Fry’s room, when Leela pulls her into her room]

LEELA: Don’t you dare go in there!

AMY: Why the heck not!

LEELA: Alright girl talk now.

AMY: Ok

LEELA: Look you remember that proctor has a thing for Fry, because he is a slob and to her there is nothing kinkier?

AMY: Oh yeah now I remember.

LEELA: Look I do not like it, but you know as well as I that this ship has no chance of making even the most basic of safety regulations, and Fry is in there convincing proctor to let it all slide.

AMY: Oh no you mean they are actually doing it now!

LEELA (with a tear): Yes, now I love Fry especially now that he has become more mature, and even more now that I seem to have loosened up and become more impulsive. But I need a favour of you.

AMY: Sure what is it?

LEELA: I know Fry could never tell me to my face how he really feels about me so I want you to put this in your hair and confront him about his little inspection.

[Leela pulls a small clip from her wristamajuggor and gives it to Amy]

AMY: What is it?

LEELA: It is a miniature camera with a microphone. I will be able to see and hear everything that you do. It came with the upgrade I got.

[Just then proctor came out of Fry’s room]

PROCTOR: Well Mr. Fry it seems as though this ship and its company pass the inspection with flying colors. I will see you all at a random time next year.

[Proctor leaves the building and everyone except amy, Leela, and Fry let out a joyous cry.]

AMY: I have to talk to you in private Fry.

FRY: Ok sure.

[in Fry’s Amy’s room]

AMY: Wow so you two did do it in here.

FRY: Look I just did it so that we could all keep our jobs. I didn’t like one minute of it though.

AMY: What about Leela?

FRY: Oh my God LEELA!!! Oh I feel so sorry for what I did! I truly love her with all my heart! I only wanted for things to go on like normal, but when proctor came I just had to do something or we all would never be able to live a good life ever again! Oh I love Leela and only Leela. Do you think she will ever forgive me? I AM SO SORRY!!!!!

[We now see Leela viewing all that is happening in Fry’s room with tears beginning to form in her eye.]

FRY: I have to go apologize right now.

[Fry goes toward Leela’s quarters and opens the door]

FRY: oh Leela I am..

LEELA: Apology accepted Fry.

FRY: You knew all along.

LEELA: Yes I knew that we would all be out of the job when I saw that the little cleanup you did was more like sweeping everything under the rug and even a complete idiot could find the faults in this company and its ship.

FRY: Well I just want you to know that i..

LEELA: I love you too Fry.

FRY: Hey how did you know what I was going to say?

LEELA: With this

[She shows him the camera’s view on Amy from her wristamajuggor]

FRY: Hey cool, I think we can use this

[Fry goes to Amy and takes the clip, he then puts it onto Bender’s head when he is not looking]

[A little while later in the conference room]

HERMES: I have called you all here to show you conclusive proof of who the thief really is here, and it is someone who is not at this table.

[Everyone looks around, and only Bender is missing because he was in the kitchen getting another beer]

[They all go to the kitchen and confront Bender]

BENDER: What are you talking about?

LEELA: THIS!!

[She holds up her wristamajuggor and they all see Bender stealing things late at night]

BENDER: CHEESE IT!!!!

Farnsworth: Don’t let him get away he has one of my precious doomsday devices!!

LEELA: This is the last straw Bender you go down now!

[She grabs a bluchers knife]

BENDER: Ha ha ha I am made of metal you cannot hurt me with that!

 

[Cut to some time later]

LEELA: Wow professor how did you know that breaking the microwave like that would stop Bender like that?

Farnsworth: Uh I saw it in a movie once, and you were there too, it think.

HERMES: Well I think we all have had enough fun today. Now go home it is time to go home.

[Everyone begins to leave]

FRY: Hey Leela, now that I am more mature and you are a bit more impulsive, do you want to go out tonight?

LEELA: Um well Fry, uh, sure why not I just had the impulse to.

FRY: Say eight o’clock at elzars and later on for a movie?

LEELA: Sure eight it is.

 

[At Fry’s apartment]

FRY: Alright finally I have gotten Leela to go on a date with me. It is a dream come true! Now I just have to get ready.

 

[Eight o’clock at Elzars Leela arrives in a nice dress to see Fry already there wearing some nice dress clothes and a blue sports jacket]

LEELA: Wow Fry you look so mature and handsome.

FRY: You look beautiful too Leela.

[They get a table and begin to eat.]

FRY: So, how is being more impulsive working out for you?

LEELA: Oh well it is a new feeling, but I kind of like it, like my personality is finally complete, how it the whole mature and responsible project coming along?

FRY: Well, I have cleaned up my place, locker, and ship cabin. I arrive at work before even Hermes, I get my work done in half the time, and I do not watch as much TV as before. I have found reading a book more interesting. Also I have managed to balance my finances and have projected that I can buy one of those wristamajuigors next week with the money I saved and invested.

LEELA: Wow that is quite an improvement! Say what made you change like that? I thought you would never come around.

FRY: Why it was the love I have for you and the desire I have always had, but could never express, to get you to love me too.

LEELA: Oh Fry that is the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me. Uh waiter check please.

[Fry and Leela take a cab to leave, when they stop at Leela’s apartment]

LEELA: Come on in, I had a wonderful night. The least you could do is walk me to my door you handsome mature new Fry you.

FRY: Sure lets go.

[Fry walks Leela to her door and she opens it. Then Fry steps inside with her.]

LEELA: Uh Fry, I think…

FRY: Shhhhh….I have to show you something that only the love I have for you can let me do.

[Fry pulls out his holophonor and plays a long drawn out sonnet even better than last time.]

LEELA: Wow Fry, that was even better than last time! And you even did it on your own. Let me show you the bedroom.

[Fry pulls out a small video tape from his holophoner case]

FRY: I have to check on something real quick.

[Fry plays the tape on Leelas television]

[The tape plays and he sees Leela taking the mind device and making a minidroid of herself]

FRY: I knew it! I could never have become more mature on my own and you were not going to let me try either!

[Just then Leela corners Fry ]

LEELA: Well now you know Fry, Bender may have been taking the devices, but I have been using them, and now so that you don’t talk I am going to have to do something really impulsive…

 

[Cut to Fry and Leela in bed naked after having slept with each other]

LEELA: So Fry what do you think of the impulsive new me?

FRY: I like it! But there is something I have to tell you. I used some lab devices too, like the what if machine and I am the one who made you more impulsive the same way you made me more mature. Also, you know how I got those worms?

LEELA: Yeah I remember I threw you out for it.

FRY: Don’t remind me, but the what if machine showed that if I didn’t get rid of them, the next day my mind would have been taken over by them. Also I posed it another question about what if I took you up with me and you saw the love letter in the sky I wrote, that didn’t work out either. It turns out the doomsday device would just explode in a huge fireball and vaporize us spreading those chromawatzits all over and cause time to skip way ahead to the apocalypse killing everybody.

LEELA: Wow I never thought of it like that Fry. Well in that case let me just get the lights.

FRY: AHHHHH!!!! I REALLY LIKE IT!!!

 

[THE END]

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