Fan Fiction

No More Secrets
By Lennie Asserholt

Fanfic data and other ramblings:

This is a Fry + Leela heavy fanfic, and it plays out after all the episodes that have been aired so far (i.e. last one was Where No Fan Has Gone Before). Amy doesn't even make an appearance in this part, so Amy lovers shouldn't get their hopes up.

Short abbreviation list

PO = Pissed Off

VO = Voice over

PE = Planet Express

OS = Off Screen

CUT TO = Eh... cut the film and begin film in the new location. Just like in the movies, right?


I don't even pretend to own the characters in this fic, they probably are the property of the FOX network, Matt Groening, David X Cohen and the Curiosity Company (some or all or them). The Star Trek: Voyager characters are copyrighted by their respected owner(s), too (who that is, I have no idea). I am in no way affiliated with them, and I'm definitely not making money off this. So, don't even try, buster! You got absolutely jack shit, zero, nothing, nada, zilch on me, so there!

...Oh, and If you DO actually have something on me: I'm sorry.. please dont sue me.... friends? ;)

Oh and another thing...

Anyone who feels like ripping me off completely and stealing this doc can publish it wherever they please, on the single condition that they give me credit and do not steal it in part, but publish the whole thing. This is called copyright I hear (or was it's "Terms of Distribution"?)... uh whatever, you know the drill.

Now, on with the show

Opening credits and theme, caption: Please insert coin

CUT TO: PE ship closing in on the PE building and landing. The ship looks really beat up.

Around 12:00


Fry, Bender and Leela are walking down the stairs from the ship, Leela is looking really pissed.

Leela: I don't care WHAT excuse you have this time, Fry, filling in for Bender in his drinking contest with the autopilot must be one of the 10 most irresponsible things you've ever done so far.

Fry: Aw, lighten up, Leela. I didn't know we actually needed him to drive the ship. You always do that.

Leela: But YOU were supposed to be driving! This is the LAST time I will ever let you drive again!

Fry: *groan* Aww, man.

Bender: Heh, heh. Don't worry skintube, 'ol Bender with make ya feel better once you taste the lunch I've been planning for ya later.

Fry: *double groan*

The crew approaches the conference room and the professor approaches them.

Prof: Good news everyone!

Bender: Oh crud.

Prof: Tomorrow you will make a delivery of medical supplies to Catastrophicon 5.

Leela: Why not today? It's only 12:15.

Prof: Because today the Nimbus is conducting a carpet bombing of the planet in order to completely destroy its civilian infrastructure.

Leela (concerned): Then we should definitely go right away!

Prof: Oh my yes, but if we wait until tomorrow we can get double the normal price for the supplies.

Leela: *groan*

Prof: Incidentally, I also want you to be alive to observe my latest invention....

The professor then proceeds to stare blankly into space.


Leela: Uh, Professor?

Prof: Wha..?

Leela: The invention?

Prof: I didn't say anything about an invention. Now, gather the others and come to the laboratory.


CUT TO: Inside the PE building - the Professor's laboratory.

Bender, Leela, Fry, Hermes and Zoidberg have gathered around the professor.

Prof: I call this invention the "thought translocation pill"!

Fry: What does it do?

Prof: I'm glad you asked that question, Fry. You see, over a year ago I designed an "empathy chip" for use in robots to allow them to feel human emotion.

Bender (thinking about the events in I Second that Emotion): *shrug*

Fry: Wait, you mean this pill will allow you to talk to other people telepathically?

Prof: Oh my no, that's just old fantasy mumbo jumbo. Actually, the pill contains a small positronic transmitter that when consumed will travel up the bloodstream, connect to the throught-center of the brain and instantly synchronize its signal with its closest counterpart.

Fry scratches his head.

Leela: And it's completely safe?

Prof: Well of course! Aside from periodic seizures and agonizing pain during the connection process, it's completely harmless!

Prof: Now, it seems I'll need someone to test it on.

Everyone shrugs and falls back a few feet, except Zoidberg.

Zoidberg: A chance to have my systems infested with an agonizing parasite? I'm interested!

The professor shakes his head slowly

Prof: I'm sorry Zoidberg, but the recipient must be at least 50% percent human or robotic for the pill to work. You simply aren't frail enough.

Zoidberg: *sigh* Awww.

Prof: Incidentally, I do believe I still have some of my old ebola mutagen from last year's hunting season.

Zoidberg: I could try some of it maybe?

Prof: Oh, I guess so.

Zoidberg: Hooray! I'm useful!

The professor leaves with Zoidberg, and the others take the opportunity to escape, except Bender.

Bender (silently to himself): No way I'm gonna fall for that trick again. I better dump this stuff in the sewers or something.

He stuffs the glass jar with the pills, as well as most of everything else of value on the lab table, in his chest compartment, then wanders off whistling.


CUT TO: Inside the PE building - TV-room. A few minutes later.

Bender has parked himself on the couch and is watching the news when Fry and Leela walk by.

Linda: In other news, recent reports indicate that an obvious plot is brewing in the city of New New York and critics everywhere are assembling to strike it down before further elements arise. Shocking, don't you think so Morbo?

Morbo: Obvious plots are worth no more than vermin in the eyes of Morbo.

Linda: *chuckle*

Bender: Screw this. Hey guys, don't forget about the lunch I promised ya.

Fry: Oh, that....ahh...

Leela: It's just that.....well...

Bender: Awww, you're lost for words. You just can't wait any longer can you?

Fry/Leela: Um...

Bender (gets up): Well. There's no resting for this robot when his admiring audience awaits him with such anticipation and joy. Come on, I'll whip you up a meal you'll never forget! (mimics Elzar) BAM! Heh, heh.

Fry/Leela: *groan*


CUT TO: inside PE ship parked in hangar - ship's mess

Fry and Leela are sitting at the long table giving each other worried looks. Bender is in the galley singing to himself.

Leela: Oh, I really hope he uses more of that essence of flavour this time. I could actually feel the aftertaste of the dishwater for five solid hours after last week's lunch.

Fry: Yeah, but you have to admit there were really pretty colors...

Bender (looking out through the doorway): Not much more waiting now, I'm polishing up the final details.

Fry/Leela (with obvious fake enthusiasm): Great....great...

Inside the ship's galley, Bender is making his creations. We see various pots with grey and greenish substances in them: a greasy frying pan with a couple of rats frying in their own juices (ugh, you get the picture), but there is also an unbaked pie that looks almost edible with only a few bones poking out from it.

Bender: Ah yes. Bender, you've outdone yourself once again. Now, to make the drinks.

He pulls out the mop from its bucket on the floor and is about to squeeze its contents into two glasses (like in 30% iron chef) when he accidentally hits the upper cabinet with the shaft. The vibrations causes a large stewing pot to fall squarely on his head with a *BONG*. He falls to the floor and a slight crashing sound can be heard from his chest compartment.

The others are alerted by the sudden noise.

Leela: What was that? We better check to see if he's alright. (She gets up)

Bender (OS): Don't worry, sit down again, I'm just having a minor disagreement with the inventory.

Leela: You sure? 'Cause we can skip this just this once if you're having problems.

Bender (OS): NO! Don't move! I'll be out in a sec.

Leela (disappointed): Well...OK....(she reluctantly sits down again)

Inside the galley, Bender gets up and swears loudly to himself

Bender: Stupid pot! I've got half a mind to turn you into a hood ornament if it wasn't for the fact that I don't have a car and my loving audience is awaiting me. Now, for the final stage.

Bender takes the pie and stuffs it in his chest compartment while turning its heat up to 200 degrees.

Bender: *Whistle*

Inside the compartment, the pie begins to get warm in preparation for it to solidify, but an unknown (to them ) ingredient slips into the dough.

A few minutes later we hear a *ping* and the pie is ready.

Bender: Ah, yes. Nothing like dessert. Hmm, maybe it needs something more... (glances at the mop).

A minute later....

Bender emerges from the ship's galley and begins to serve his friends

Bender: Friends, I've made meals today that Elzar could only dream of..

Fry's and Leela's minds: yeah, a nightmare.

Bender: ... so I want both of your honest opinions on each dish.

Fry (eyes the "food"): Well... ah.. I'd like to start out with an appetizer. Which one has the "essence of flavour" in it?

Bender: I decided to skip that part, since I'm such a wonderful cook. True masters of cooking do not need flavour.

Fry and Leela looks at each other with slight expressions of panic.

Fry: I...see... well. This pie doesn't look that ba... I mean doesn't seem to want to wait until last.

Leela: Yeah, the pie looks....nice...

Both, deciding that the pie looks to be the single edible thing on the table, cut themselves a slice and take a bite.

Both Fry and Leela have to concentrate to the maximum so as not to immediately throw up.

Bender: So? Whaddaya think?

Fry (his face turning into a shade of green): Its.. very... interesting.

Leela: (her face is turning somewhat yellow): Truly....fascinating...recipe.

Bender (happy): It is, isn't it? I thought I'd try something new this time, so I cut the live hamster into inch-wide slices and added just a touch of sheep entrails....

(screen fades away with the images of Fry and Leela holding their hands as to stop themselves from throwing up)


CUT TO: Robot Arms Apartments, later that night

Fry is lying in his bed, thinking about the day.

Fry's mind: Ugh, why won't this horrible aftertaste just go away!? *sigh* I wish that Bender didn't like cooking at all.

Fry's mind: And to top it all off, Leela didn't even want me to take her to a real dinner afterwards. Oh well, like that's something new.... Ahh, I wish she would go out with me....even if just once.

Fry's mind: *sigh* This is depressing, I need a slurm.

Fry gets up and walks towards the fridge, when he suddenly freezes in midstep! He falls to the floor, clutching his head with his hands, his face showing an expression of extreme pain!

Fry: AAARRRGGGGHHHH! Wha-- What's happening!? I'm...I'm.... AAAAAAAHHHHHH!

He then faints right there on the floor, from the onslaught of the agony.

Bender (OS): Keep it down, willya!?

CUT TO: Leela's apartment 1I, at the exact same time.

Leela is also lying in her bed, thinking about the day.

Leela's mind: Damn that Bender! How could he even THINK about becoming a cook in the first place? I swear, if it wasn't for the fact that he's Fry's best friend I would NEVER put up with this.

Leela's mind: Oh Fry. He even offered to make up for the whole lunch thing by taking me to a real dinner afterwards. He's so sweet, why did I decline that, anyway?

Leela's mind: Because he's an immature slob, that's why!

Leela's mind: Yeah... but he really does seem to care for me. The others I've dated would've just wanted me to follow them to their apartment for "coffee", but not Fry.

Leela's mind: You can bet your one-eyed carcass he wants to!

Leela's mind: Well... I guess... but still....

Leela's mental debate goes to a screeching halt as a sudden burst of extreme pain washes over her!

Leela (face expressing total agony) : ARGH! What the!? OoooOOOH my GOD the PAIN! What's happening!?

Being used to pain allowed her to stay conscious longer than Fry, but this only served to lengthen her suffering until the point where she too surrendered to it and faints.

Darkness, blackness, void. Call it what you will. After what seems to be an eternity to Fry and Leela, they find themselves lying on the ground. Fry cautiously opens his eyes to find himself in a fenced-in compound. He slowly gets up into a sitting position. He looks around and finds Leela lying on the ground next to him. He tries to wake her up.

Fry: Leela! Wake up! Something weird is happening.

Leela (groggily): Wha-..? Huh?

She too gets up into a sitting position.

Leela: Fry! What's happening? Where are---oh my god.....

Leela looks around the compound, she seems more and more agitated.

Fry: What's wrong, Leela?

Leela: Fry. This is the orphanarium I grew up in, don't you recognize it?

Fry: Hey... now that you mention it... this DOES look familiar.

They both get up on their feet and begin to look around.

Fry: Hey, look over there! Didn't you tell us about something similar once from your past?

They both spot a number of kids surrounding somebody

Fry: Let's take a closer look!

Leela (recognizing the event): Fry, I don't think we should...

Fry walks up to the kids and suddenly gasps!

The kids are teasing a small girl with purple hair and only one eye. Fry suddenly realizes that this is in fact Leela herself, but as a child.

Kids: One-eye, One-eye, One-eye, One-eye, One-eye.

Child Leela: *cries*

The real Leela walks up to the gathering, tears are forming in her eye.

Leela: I...I never wanted anyone to ever see this, Fry.

Fry: Leela....I...

Leela suddenly tries to pull the other kids away, but find that she simply cannot touch them. Her hands just flow right through.

Fry: Oh wow, cool effect....(Leela turns, her angry, tear shot face towards Fry) uh....sorry....I didn't mean that...

Leela (turning once more towards the child version of herself): I'm-- I'm so sorry....I wasn't.. strong enough.

Leela (looks up to the sky and screams): WHYYYYYY!? I DON'T WANT TO REMEMBER THIS!

Suddenly as Leela spoke those words, the world around them seemed to flicker a bit. As Leela sobs with her hands covering her face, the world seems to flicker even more. Then suddenly, all turns into darkness.

Fry finds himself standing in absolute darkness, the only visible things seems to be himself and the sobbing Leela, which looks up after a while to notice that everything is gone. She then gets up and turns to Fry.

Leela: What happened?

Fry: You know, shockingly as this might sound. I have no idea.

Leela: *groan*

Fry: I know! Maybe this is a Vulcan mind-meld or something?

Leela: Fry, Vulcans don't exist. That's just science fiction.

Fry: Oh...yeah, but still....

As he is about finish his sentence, the darkness around them flickers once more. The endless abyss is replaced by.....the inside of the Star Trek USS Voyager?

Fry and Leela cannot believe their eyes, they are standing in one of Voyagers many corridors, watching as various crewmen walk past them, oblivious to their presence.

Fry: Hey! I remember this episode! This is where an alien entity possesses the minds of the key characters on board! Janeway and Tuvok should be appearing in this hallway right about now...

As on cue, Janeway, Tuvok and Kes are walking down the hallway up to the turbo lift nearby.

Tuvok: Kes seems to be able to localize this alien entity, I propose that she and I undergo a mind-meld so that we may find out more about it.

Janeway looks at Kes for confirmation

Kes nods in agreement

Janeway: Very well, do it!

Tuvok nods and he and Kes enter the turbo lift with its doors shutting behind them.

Fry: Yeah, that's right... although I cant seem to remember the rest of this particular episode...maybe it was the 4-week-old pizza playing tricks on me.

As Fry spoke these words, the world around them flickers again and goes back into the total darkness of before. Leela looks at Fry.

Leela: Hmm. Hey.. I think I've figured out what's going on here.

Fry: Really?

Leela: What we just saw was one of your memories, and the scene with the orphanarium was one of mine. We must be dreaming.

Fry (enthusiastic): Oh! Yeah, that's probably it!

Leela: Then all we have to do is wake up to end this right now!

Fry: Woohoo! Eh... but how?

Leela: Well, there is an old method I've heard legends about.

Fry: What?

Leela walks up and pinches Fry HARD.


Fry's figure suddenly begins to flicker and an instant later, he is gone.

Leela: YES! It worked. (devious smile) ...weakling.

She pinches herself

Leela: Yeouch!

The Image of Leela also begins to flicker and then disappears.


CUT TO: Robot Arms Apartments - early morning.

Fry awakes to find himself on the floor, dressed only in his lightspeed briefs.

Fry (silently to himself): Man, that was some weird dream. I don't think I've ever dreamt anything like that before

He gets up and notices that Bender is sitting on the couch watching TV.

Bender: Hey, meatbag. Finally up, eh?

Fry: Ugh, yeah. I had the weirdest dream.

Bender: Keep it to yerself, skintube. The fifth rerun of this episode of All my circuits is on, an' I wouldn't miss it for anything.

Fry: Whatever...

Fry pulls on his jeans and tries to find the rest of his clothes. After a thorough dig, he claims his shirt and jacket and puts them on. Bender looks really occupied, so he decides to take a walk, so as to come to grips with his strange dream.

Fry exits the building and strolls down the street trying to remember the strange dream.

Fry: Darkness and Leela's orphanarium? Why would I even KNOW what it looks like. Sure, I've seen some photos, but still with such detail?

He walks by a suicide booth and stops to look at it for a moment.

Fry's mind: Man, I bet the child Leela would've been tempted to use one of those.

Leela mind: Yeah, but suicide never helped solve anything.

Fry looks around with a confused expression on his face.

Fry: What? Leela? Are you there?

Not a sound is heard save for the leaves blowing around the corner.

Fry (Scratching his head): Hmm, I thought I heard Leela's voice.... Oh man... that dream is really coming onto me.

Fry continues to walk down the street.


CUT TO: Leela's apartment 1I - same time

Leela awakens to find her bed is all soaked in sweat.

Leela (to herself): Urgh, that was to worst sleep I've had in years. And what a weird dream.

She gets up, takes the bed sheets and tosses them in the laundry basket.

Leela (looks in the mirror) : Oh, look at yourself, Turanga Leela, you're a mess.

She takes off her nightie and goes into the shower, mumbling to herself.

Leela (mumbling): It must be that stupid robot's "food" that caused this. *sigh* If only Bender would simply give it up and go for folksinging again, I wouldn't have to be in such a miserable condition.

Leela (silently to herself): But what about that dream... I saw Fry and he went with me to the orphanarium... and we both saw... me.... Oh, god, I hated myself back then.

An image of a suicide booth flashed in her head.

Fry's mind: Man, I bet the child Leela would've been tempted to use one of those.

Leela mind: Yeah, but suicide never helped solve anything.

She suddenly stops showering as she realizes what just happened. She looks around the shower curtain.

Leela: Fry? Are you there?

No answer.

Leela: Hmmm....


CUT TO: Outside the PE building - an hour later.

Fry is sitting on a nearby bench, waiting for Hermes to arrive and unlock, when Leela arrives.

Leela: Oh! Hi Fry. What are you doing here so early?

Fry: I couldn't sleep, figured I'd go for a walk to clear my head.

Leela: I see.

Leela's mind: Can't clear something that's already empty....

Fry: Hey, that was uncalled for!

Fry's mind: Tightwad...

Leela: Hey!?

They suddenly stop and stare at each other like they had just seen their own ghost.

Frys/Leelas minds (in unison): He/she could hear me!?

More staring.

Leela then breaks the awkward silence.

Leela (slowly): Did you just... say something?

Fry is dumb folded, he just keeps staring at Leela.

Fry's mind: I... think so....

Leela (surprised): I could hear that!

They then resume to the silent staring at each other, when Hermes walks by them.

Hermes: Hello, Leela, Fry!

They don't even move an inch.

Hermes looks puzzled. He approaches them.

Hermes: Is dere something wrong?

The two just continue their stare-athon.

Hermes scratches his head a little.

Hermes: Well, anyway. When you kids finish with... whateva it is your doin, report to the conference room.

He then walks away into the PE building with a puzzled look on his face, leaving them alone again.

Fry is the first to break this period of silence... sorta.

Fry's mind: Leela?

Leela's mind: Yes?

Fry's mind: You can hear my thoughts!? COOL!

Leela's mind: You actually think this is cool!?

Fry's mind: Well, yeah. Why not? It's not like this happens everyday.

Leela (snapping out of it): That's not the point, you dummy! We cant go on like this!

Fry just smiles

Fry's mind: Why not?

Leela: I cant live peacefully knowing that YOU, of all people, are rummaging around in my head!

Fry's mind: Aww, relax, Leela. You can rummage around in my head too, y'know.

Leela (upset): That's not the point! You may not have memories worth keeping to yourself, but I DO!

Leela then suddenly realizes that a whole group of people have gathered around the strange alien talking to a smiling young man which doesn't seem to talk back.

Leela (embarrassed): Oh, heh, heh. We are just... um... y'know... he's...

Fry's mind: Waiting for a blowjob.

Leela: ..waiting for a blo-(Leela's face turns red with embarrassment).

Fry just sits there giggling when Leela gives him a look that could probably drill a hole through solid rock.

Leela: *cough* EXCUSE us...

Leela grabs Fry's arm (hard) and pulls him with her through the PE building entrance, but Fry cannot hold himself anymore. His laughter can faintly be heard through the double-doors, even after Leela dragged him inside.


CUT TO: Inside PE building - TV room.

Leela is dragging the laughing Fry after her like a piece of laundry, looking really pissed. She releases him next to the couch.

Leela (PO): I can't BELIEVE you did that to me!

Fry slowly stops laughing.

Fry (smiling): Hee, hee. That was the most fun I've had in months!

Leela: Well that's tough, because I'm gonna try and get the doctor to stop this.

Fry (serious): What do you think might have caused this, Leela? Bender's cooking?

Leela: Either that or something IN it....like....oh my god...

Fry: What? You don't think it was the dirty mop water, do ya?

Leela: The professor's new invention!

Fry: Which?

Leela: The "thought translocation pill" of course!

Fry: What about it?

Leela: *groan* Just follow me.

Fry's mind: Yes, ma'am.

Leela's mind: Shut up, Fry.

CUT TO: The professor's laboratory.

Leela and Fry walk into the laboratory and find the professor standing over his lab table looking for something.

Leela: Professor, what are you looking for?

Prof: Oooh, I just KNOW I put it here somewhere...

Leela: Professor!?

Prof: Wha-?

Leela: What are you looking for?

Prof: My jar of "thought translocation pills". It seems I have misplaced it somewhere, but I simply cannot find it.

Fry: Maybe that's why you can't find it?

Prof: What?

Fry: The jar, because you have misplaced it.

Prof: I haven't misplaced anything. Who said I had?

Prof: Now, you two must prepare the ship for the delivery later today, so off you go.

Fry and Leela walks out of the laboratory, hearing the words "Where DID I put it?" as they leave.

Leela: Well, it's obvious that someone must've taken it and then somehow put some of the pills in Bender's food.

Fry's and Leela's minds: "Food", yeah right.

Fry: So, now what?

Leela: I don't know. I guess we could always ask Bender if it was he that took 'em.

Fry: Bender!? Nah, he wouldn't even touch these things after the emotional thingy with you and Nibbler.

Leela: Actually, he may have thought that he had to get rid of them just to be safe.

Fry: Maybe, but I think an undercover spy for the government took it!

Leela: Fry! You are being even more irrational than usual.


CUT TO: Conference room - some time later.

Fry, Leela, Bender, Hermes and the professor are sitting around the table. Zoidberg is nowhere to be seen.

Hermes: OK, people. Dis is the destination for today's delivery (He presses a small button on his console).

A holoimage of a barren planet appears over the table.

Prof: Catastrophicon 5. Once a lush paradise inhabited by the pacifists of Eden. Now, it's merely a godforsaken rock where the few living scavenge their dead for money to buy food and medicine.

Leela: That's horrible! What happened to it?

Prof: Alas, I don't know. Now, it seems that the DOOP carpet bombing yesterday has left a few thousand survivors and these are in desperate need of medical supplies, which is why you are delivering these three crates of band-aid (he point to 3 very LARGE crates next to the ship in the hangar) to co-ordinates that you will receive on arrival. I have arranged for twice the normal fee for this mission, as it is very dangerous and probably life threatening.

Bender (silently): As always....

Fry: Why is it life threatening?

Prof: I'm glad you asked that question, Fry. You see the DOOP has been testing some of my new weapon creations this year and this time my "stuperfaction mutagenic toxigen" was next on the list.

Prof: Now, I know that you may be worried that you may sustain some injuries this time, so I've arranged for Dr Zoidberg to come with you, should you need him.

The professor then takes out a small remote and presses one of the buttons. A wall instantly opens up to show an aquarium with a strange green liquid inside, instead of water. A small airlock door in the aquarium suddenly opens and out steps Zoidberg. He has changed color from red to green and has tiny tufts of seaweed growing here and there on him.

Zoidberg: Hooray! I'm going on a mission with friends! I'm having a wonderful time!

All except the professor just stares at him.

Zoidberg (makes a pose and clicks his claws): Like my new look? Imagine, I'm furthering the knowledge of science AND becoming fashionable at the same time!

Leela: Uh, Professor. I don't believe we will need Zoidberg for just one life-threatening, suicidal mission.

Prof: Are you sure?

Leela: Yes.. ugh... quite.

Prof: Very well then. You can return to the tank, Zoidberg.

Zoidberg: Awww.

As soon as the doctor returned to the tank, the professor presses the button on his remote again and the wall slid back into position.

Hermes: OK den, les get to work people.


CUT TO: Outside the PE building.

The roof doors are opening and the PE ship takes off into the atmosphere. A moment later, another ship, but completely black, flies by the screen.


CUT TO: Inside the PE ship - bridge.

Leela is sitting in the pilot seat, Fry is sitting on the couch with his feet on the console and Bender is reading some magazine that says "MechaBosums" on the front.

Fry silently looks out at the stars as they fly by.

Fry's mind: They are so beautiful, even after seeing them so many times, I never seem to get tired of them.

Leela glances at Fry from her seat.

Leela's mind: Oh, Fry. If only...

Fry's mind (responding): What?

Leela's mind: Huh? Oh...nothing...

Fry's mind (disappointed): Ah...I see...

Bender suddenly looks up from his magazine.

Bender: Hey, meatbags! Why are you staring at each other like that?

Fry and Leela turn to look at Bender for a moment, as they realize it must've looked strange.

Fry's mind: He doesn't know that we can talk like this.

Leela's mind: Hmm, and I think it'll be best if we didn't tell him.

Fry's mind: Then what shall I say to him?

Leela's mind: Tell him you were just thinking about something. After all, that is the truth. (mental smile)

Fry's mind: OK.

Fry: Wha-? Oh, its nothing Bender... I was just thinking about something.

Bender: You humans are all so weird, not like good 'ol Bender right here. No sirre'.

Bender takes up the magazine and starts reading again.

Fry's mind: Heey, whaddaya know. It worked.

Leela's mind: We really shouldn't be talking this way, Fry, people could get suspicious.

Fry's mind: I guess, but you have to admit it's very convenient.

Leela's mind (slight sarcasm): That would kinda depend on who you have to talk to all the time.

Fry's mind (feels hurt by the comment):....

Leela's mind: I...I actually felt that...

Bender looks up from his magazine again.

Bender: What the? What IS it with you two? Your constant staring makes it impossible for a robot to get some reading done! I'm outta here.

With that said, Bender leaves the bridge for the cargo bay (mumbles something about peace and quiet). Fry and Leela watch him leave.

Leela's mind: Well, we don't have to do this anymore now that Bender left

Fry's mind: That's right! We can talk like normal people again.

Some time passes.

Fry's mind: So, how come we don't?


CUT TO: Inside the mysterious black ship - a dark office.

Four shadowy figures are standing in front of a desk with several weird looking devices on it. Only the vague outlines of the people in the room can be seen.

Shadowy authority type guy (standing behind the desk OS): Are you sure this is the one, Number 1?

Shadowy underling type guy 1: Yes, sir. We are absolutely positive.

Shadowy authority type guy (OS): Very well then, maintain current pursuit course at present distance.

Shadowy underling type guy 2: I will inform the crew, sir.

Shadowy authority type guy (OS): Proceed.

Shadowy underling type guy 2 (turning towards the others): Numbers 1, 3 and 4, maintain current pursuit course at present distance.

Shadowy underling type guys 1, 3 and 4: Yes, sir! (number 1, 3 and 4 walk out, followed by number 2)

Shadowy authority type guy (OS): Number 2!

Shadowy underling type guy 2 (stops and turns in the doorway): Yes, sir?

Shadowy authority type guy (OS): Would you be so kind as to turn on the lights next time?

Shadowy underling type guy 2 (flicks the light switch, the room becomes illuminated): Sorry, sir. (he leaves)

Not-so-shadowy-anymore authority type guy (OS): Good grief.


CUT TO: Inside the PE ship - bridge.

Leela estimated that the trip to Catastrophicon 5 would take at least 9 more hours, so Fry decided to get some sleep in his cabin. Leela is left alone on the bridge.

Leela's mind: Bender's in the cargo bay, Fry is asleep in his cabin. I'm all alone....*sigh*

Fry's mind: Not as alone as you might think, Leela.

Leela's mind: Right. I guess as long as these things are still working we will always be together....in a sort of way.

Fry's mind: Too bad it wasn't the sort of way I wanted.....oops.

Leela's mind: *sigh* You just never give up, do you, Fry?

Fry's mind: Look Leela, I've told you several times before that I love you, I've challenged globetrotters for you, I've defeated worms for you, I've exposed a shapeshifter for you.....I've even almost died for you. What more could I possibly do? What in this entire universe could I accomplish to make you love me?

Leela's mind: I...there is... nothing more you can do.

Fry's mind (sad): Oh...

Leela's mind: Since...I.....

Fry's mind: What?

Leela's mind: I.... (suddenly the ship shakes as a loud *BONK* sound is heard) Oh, crap. A meteor storm. I gotta concentrate on flying this thing.

Fry's mind (sad): ........I see.....

A tear begins to form in Leela's eye as she painfully keeps her mind as blank as possible.

Leela: I'm sorry Fry....I just....can't...

Twenty minutes later the meteor storm had ended, Leela tried to mentally contact Fry again, but he had already fallen asleep.


CUT TO: Space

The Nimbus is in orbit around Catastrophicon 5. The planet's color appears to be turning into a brownish hue.


CUT TO: Inside the Nimbus - bridge.

Zapp walks onto the bridge where Kif is awaiting him.

Kif: Captain, we received a confirmation that the pacifists have called for emergency aid.

Zapp: Kif, what are you blabbering on about? Our bombing run was a complete success!

Kif: Actually sir, a few thousand of them has taken shelter in the underground cave system beneath their capital.

Zapp: Kif! Such a minor nuisance like that is completely beneath a captain of my stature. Just send a few platoons down to the surface to flush them out like undigested food from a baby's bottom.

Kif: But, sir...

Zapp: Are you questioning my order!?

Kif: *groan*

Zapp goes out through the bridge doors, leaving Kif with the suicide order for the men.

Kif: *sigh* I guess I'll have to get to it before Zapp wants me to scrub his bottom again.


CUT TO: Space

The PE ship silently continues its journey through the void of space, everything seems very quiet.


CUT TO: Inside the PE ship, bridge - An hour later.

Leela still sits in her pilot seat, all alone on the bridge. She quietly looks out at the stars with a faraway look in her eye.

Leela's mind: Fry? Can you hear me?

Her mental attempt to communicate with Fry still receives no response. When concentrating further, a sleepy feeling overcomes her.

Leela's mind: He must still be asleep, I wonder how he does it. Falls asleep in an instant, even though his heart was full of sadness.

Leela's mind: He sought sleep to alleviate some of the pain of course, you silly!

Leela's mind: Maybe, but he'll get over it. He always does.

Leela's mind: No, he hasn't even gotten over the first time yet.

Leela's mind: With the "getting rid of the worms" business you mean? Oh, come on..

Leela's mind: Face it, Leela, he's still as heartbroken as he was back then.

Leela's mind: That was his own fault!

Leela's mind: Really?

Leela's mind: Yeah, really!

Leela's mind: So, getting spooked by the fact that he got rid of the one perfect man you thought you could ever love was his fault?

Leela's mind: I....

Leela's mind: Did it ever even occur to you that he might have actually done it because he loved you?

Leela's mind: I.... don't know... I'm just so confused.

Leela's mind: Go, talk to him Leela. If you continue to push him away, he might actually one day get over you. Do you REALLY want that?

Leela's mind: Well... no.

Leela's mind: Then, talk to him, tell him how you feel. You already know how he feels about you, so it's practically risk-free.

Leela's mind: ........

Leela (determined): OK, I'll do it. I'll tell him.

Bender: Who?

Leela was so surprised, she fell off the seat. Looking over, she saw that Bender had entered the bridge as she was having her mental debate.

Leela (gets up): Uh... Tell you Bender.

Bender: What?

Leela: That you can drive the ship while I go get some sleep.

Bender: Hey, you're the pilot, I'm the drunken, but lovable, rascal that steals your money when you're not watching.

Leela: Well, Bender, you're out of luck this time. As your captain, I order you to fly this ship all the way to Catastrophicon 5 until I've gotten some rest.

Bender: Urgh, fine! (He sips some more of his beer) I guess I could always have another drinking competition with the autopilot.

Leela pretended she didn't hear him and left the bridge for Fry's cabin. After arriving and peeking through the door to spot a comatose Fry lying in a pile of dirty laundry, snoring loudly, she decided to go with a different approach.

Leela's mind: Hmm, maybe I could trigger that strange black dream again?

Said and done, Leela enters her own quarters and goes to bed. In but a few minutes, she is sound asleep and a familiar feeling comes over her....


CUT TO: Dream sequence - darkness.

Leela finds herself "waking up" to the total blackness she remembered from the last dream she and Fry had. Getting up, she finds that Fry is nowhere to be seen.


No reply.

Leela's mind: Hmm, maybe he is in his own dream right now?

As her mind spoke these words, the darkness begins to flicker.

The world around her morphs into a very familiar location. After a few seconds, she finds herself in her own living room. The image of Fry is taking out the holophonor, with her counterpart watching. The real Fry is sitting in the couch, silently watching the scene with a longing in his eyes.

DreamLeela: A holophonor? But only a few people in the entire galaxy can play that, and they aren't even very good at it.

DreamFry: They don't have you to inspire them.

The image of Fry begins to play the holosequence from Parasites Lost as the image of Leela watches in amazement. The real Leela walks over to sit on the couch with Fry.

Leela: Hi, Fry.

Fry (not moving): Hi, Leela....

Leela (looking at the hologram): I thought that it was the most beautiful thing anyone has ever done for me.

Fry: ....I really tried to put as much emotion as I could into it... It was so easy when I had the worms.

Leela turns silent and just watches the scene until the sequence finally reaches its end. She continues to look on quietly as her counterpart brings her beloved into the bedroom.

The two just remain on the couch, looking into thin air, as the image of Fry walks out of the bedroom with a depressed but determined look on his face.

Leela: This is when you made up your mind, when you decided to test me.

Fry: ....

The room begins the now familiar flickering, and after a few seconds, they find themselves inside Fry's bowel; the capital of the worms looms before them. The dream image of Fry walks towards the capital and is stopped by the worms.

Dream Fry: Who controls this bowel?

Worms: Who wants to know?

The image points to the giant statue of "the known universe" and is escorted into the throne room.

Leela, being intrigued by this turn of events, follows Dream Fry into the throne room, but the real Fry just sighs deeply and remains for awhile.

Inside the throne room, Dream Fry is brought before the king.

Worm King: I am the Lord Mayor of Cologne!

Dream Fry: You mean colon?

Worm King (annoyed): State your business!

DreamFry: Your Excellency, have you even been in love?

Leela watches as the two argue for awhile.

Leela's mind: He said he loves me... again... and again... but I... (her thoughts are interrupted by the king's final words)

Worm King: ....No one can make me leave! (He pulls his sword)

Leela watches as the two fence around in the room and slowly work their way towards the elevator. Leela gets in and follows them up to the brain room. She observes the masses of worms tuning Fry's brain capacity.

She silently watches as the two combatants struggle around inside the chamber, when the king gets assistance from some of his henchmen and Fry begins to back off. She watches in amazement as Fry climbs up a nerve and threatens to damage his own brain. When the king thinks he's bluffing, Fry declares his love yet again and begins hacking away. As she watches Dream Fry chopping off thread after thread, a tear begins to form in her eye. Suddenly, Fry hacks off a piece of the "hand-eye-coordination lobe" and Leela gasps as he falls the "ground" a few seconds later.

As she watches the king surround Dream Fry, the real Fry approaches her from behind.

Fry (silently): This is the moment of reckoning. This was the moment it was all decided....

Dream Fry: I was just working my way towards the madula-ablon-gata, control center of the heart and lungs. And if I kill myself, you die with me!

Worms: Ahhh, noo, stop, wait a minute man!

Dream Fry: I hope Satan has a nice colon, cuz that's where you're gonna be living! (he prepares to strike).

Leela cannot believe her eye, the dream version of Fry is about to take his own life... just because of her.

After some eyeing at eachother, Dream Fry suddenly raises the sword as to strike when...

Worm King: STOP!.... We'll leave...

Leela cannot help but let out a small sigh, even though she knows that Fry couldn't have killed himself, since he's standing next to her.

Fry (silently): I can't bear to watch this anymore...

As he spoke these words, the world around them flickers once more and the two find themselves in the abyssal darkness again. Fry then just sits down and stares into the void. Leela just stands there, trying to absorb the images she had just seen.

After a while, she turns and walks towards Fry, seating herself down next to him.

Fry: No matter what I do, it always somehow turns out wrong...

Leela: That's not true, you saved my life by giving me your oxygen once. Remember?

Fry (sighs): But, even that wouldn't convince you to go out with me.

Leela: Cheer up, Fry... I.. I'm...

Fry (hopeful): Yes?

Leela: Uh.. sure you'll find someone one day.

Fry (disappointed): Oh... yeah... thanks...

Fry gets up and walks away from her a bit.

Leela silently curses her own cowardice, then stands up and walk over to Fry.

Leela: Fry... there is something else I wanted to tell you.

Fry (he slowly turns his head towards her): What?

They both fall silent and share a look.

Their faces slowly begins to advance towards each other... and... their images suddenly starts to flicker. (aww, nuts!)

Leela: We appear to be waking up.

Fry: ....

With just a silent look at each other, both their images flicker once more and then disappear.


CUT TO: Inside the PE ship - Leela's quarters.

Leela opens her eye to find herself back in her bed in the captain's quarters. She thinks back to the dream she dreamt with Fry and begins to wonder why it ended so abruptly. Her thoughts are cut short, when a massive explosion outside rocks the ship and deafens her ears. She bolts out of the bed, thankful she didn't bother to change clothes earlier and then dashes out towards the bridge.

When she enters the bridge, she finds Bender frantically trying to evade incoming missiles to the best of his ability, though not to too much avail, since he was only designed for bending, not piloting.

Bender: Leela! Thank your god you're here. Now you can take over this wretched junkheap so I can get some sleeping done.

Leela: Sleeping!? How the hell can you think about sleeping at a time like this!?

Bender: Hey missy! I have stared out that window for 5 solid hours ever since the autopilot broke down, that may not have much effect on humans, but I for one am bored out of my mind! Ah, screw this. (He leaves the pilot seat and walks out from the bridge).

Leela, suddenly realizing that the ship is unpiloted, rushes towards the pilot seat, when the ship suffers another impact. The shock sends Leela flying trough the air, crashing into the tactical console and she passes out cold.

A moment later, Fry enters the bridge and spots the empty pilot seat and Leela lying on the floor, motionless.

Fry: NO! (He rushes over to Leela and examine her) Whew, she's only fainted. (he then looks at the pilot seat) But who's gonna drive this thing now!?

Fry's mind: You.

Fry's mind: Me?

Fry's mind: Yes.

Fry (worried): Ah...OK... (He walks over and straps himself into the pilot seat.)

Computer: Warning! Missile lock!

Fry: Here goes nothing! (he pulls the wheel as hard as he can)

Outside, the PE ship suddenly arcs its flight straight up, narrowly evading the missile, which crashes into a nearby asteroid field.

Fry: Whew....that was a close one...

Computer: Warning! Multiple missiles inbound! (The screen displays 6 incoming rockets)

Fry: AHH! I can't evade all of those! We're done for!!


CUT TO: Dream sequence - darkness.

Leela materializes in the dark abyss, like she had done a few times by now, but this time she did not want to stay for even a minute.

Leela (surprised): OH! Why am I here? *gasp* The attack, the hit, I... I.. must've fainted.

Leela: Hmm, Fry isn't here. He must've woken up too before. (Reality strikes) Oh my god! Who's gonna pilot the ship now!?

Leela wanders frantically back and forth, cursing her own carelessness.

Leela's mind: I have to do something!

Leela pinches herself hard on the arm.

Leela: Oww.....

Leela looks around... nothing happened.

Leela: DAMN! I must be out cold!

Leela (mumbling): Think Leela, THINK! You've gotta do SOMETHING except talking to yourself!

Leela stops as she suddenly remembers something.

Leela's mind: Hey, I could actually feel Fry's tiredness when I concentrated on him. Maybe this works from in this state too? ... Worth a shot..

Leela sits down and thinks hard about Fry.....

Leela's mind: .............

Her face show signs of extreme effort.

Leela: Come on, come ON........

Leela's mind: ...was a close one.... Hey... I think I'm getting something here....

Leela's mind: ...........!

Leela suddenly notices that a part of the black realm around her begins to flicker.

Leela's mind: I think I see something there.... (She concentrates on Fry some more)

The flickering becomes more intense as something becomes visible through the static. A few moments later, Leela can see what is revealed.

Leela: This is... Fry's vision!?

The flickering continues, but Fry's hands are clearly visible as they try to manoeuvre the ship. Faint sounds can now also be heard.

Computer: Multi----issles----bound---.

Fry then looks at the "incoming" monitor, which shows the 6 missiles approaching.

Leela: Oh my god! Fry could never evade all of those!

Leela's mind: Fry! FRY! Can you hear me! You must listen to me! PLEASE FRY!!


CUT TO: Inside the PE ship - bridge.

Fry has just declared himself and everybody else on the ship toast.

Fry: Oh, man! If only Leela were awake

Fry's mind: Fry?-----FRY?-----

Fry (confused): Leela? (he looks at her body, it's still not moving aside from her breating)

Computer: 2 minutes to impact.

Fry's mind: Leela? Are you there?

Leela's mind: YES! Fry I'm here!

Fry's mind: Thank GOD! You gotta help me here, Leela. I can't do this by myself.

Leela's mind: I know, I can see through your eyes and...

Fry's mind: You can? COOL!

Leela's mind: FRY! There's no time for that! Now, listen to me, dammit!

Leela's mind: Fly the ship into the asteroid field, Fry! It's our only chance!

Fry's mind: WHAT!? I can't even evade 6 missiles, what do you think I can do against thousand of flying rocks!?

Leela's mind: The difference is that the rocks aren't chasing us. Now fly in there or we'll both be dead! I'll try to help you as best I can.

Fry's mind: O-okay, you're the captain...

Computer: 1 minute to impact.

Fry makes a hard turn right into the asteroid field. As soon as the ship enters the field, banging noises can be heard as various small rocks strikes the ships hull. Fry didn't like the idea at all, but it was either this or a guaranteed impact of 6 hostile rockets.

Fry is doing his best trying to avoid the incoming boulders.


Fry (stressed): CRUD! Come on... come on... let those arcade game hours pay off already!

Meanwhile, Leela is really engaged in the action as well.

Leela's mind: You must go faster, Fry! Those missiles are gaining on us!

Computer: 30 seconds to impact.

Fry's mind: I'm trying, Leela!

Fry accelerates the ship even more.

The sounds of the impacting rocks grow into a crescendo as the ship gains even more forward locomotion.

Leela's mind (stressed): This will never work! We are not going fast enough nor avoiding enough asteroids. If I don't do something, I will never wake up!

Fry's mind: I'm trying, Leela, I really am!

Leela suddenly instinctively pushes her hand forward as to increase the speed even more and Fry looks in shock at his hand's moving without him telling it to. The ship gains even more momentum, the sounds from the rock bombardment becomes deafening.

Fry's mind: Leela!? How did you do that?

Leela's mind (realizing her chance): Fry, listen to me carefully! Do you promise to do EXACTLY as I say?

Fry's mind (quickly): Sure, OK! Just save us!

Leela's mind: Then drop the controls and relax your body.

Fry's mind: WHAT!? Are you outta your mind!?... wait... you are, aren't you?

Leela's mind: JUST DO IT, FRY!

Fry (opposing every instinct in his body) releases the wheel and leans back in the seat. Suddenly, he finds that his limbs are moving as though they had a life of their own! His hand quickly grasps the throttle and gives the ship even more speed, his foot is trampling the pedal like crazy. Both his hands then grasp the wheel and Fry is in for the ride of his life.


CUT TO: Outside the PE ship - asteroid field

A severely dented PE ship blasts through the field knocking away rocks in all directions. A short distance behind it, a cluster of 6 missiles are heading unerringly towards its target. One of the missiles has gained some distance from the rest and is about to hit the engine, when the ship suddenly makes a hard turn right, making the missile crash into one of the rocks that wasn't knocked away by the ship. The other rockets follow through the new tunnel carved by the ship, however. As a couple more of the rockets break away from the pack, the ship makes two sharp U-turns, causing two more explosions among the floating rocks.


CUT TO: Previous shot

Fry (excited): Yeehaaw! Leela, you are the greatest!

Leela's mind: We're not out of the woods yet, Fry...

Fry (smiling): Yeah, I know. I just wanted to say that.

Leela's mind: Oh, really?

Bender suddenly enters the bridge, holding a mop bucket.

Bender: Hey guys! I made you some drinks to celebrate our escape.

Fry: We haven't escaped yet, Bender!

Bender (surprised): Say what?

They are interrupted as the ship hits another rock, a large one this time. It causes a huge shake in the ship and Bender loses his balance, causing the mop bucket to fall to the floor and splashing its contents in Leela's face.

Fry/Leela's mind: What the!? (Fry suddenly loses Leela's control)

The ship makes a spiral down and away from the asteroid field, and a large explosion can be heard from behind the ship as Leela regains consciousness.

Leela: Ugh, (tastes the mop water) *PHFT* *Phooee* That stuff is disgusting!

Bender: Of course it's disgusting, you've spilled it all over the floor!

Leela: *groan*

Fry stops the ship, gets out of the seat and rushes to Leela's side.

Fry: Leela! Are you alright!?

Leela (getting up): Yeah, I'm fine... except my back hurts pretty badly.

Fry (relieved): I'm so glad you're alright, Leela. (he hugs her)

Leela: Oh.... (she smiles, and put her arms around him as well).

Fry's mind: I still have some of that massage oil left.

Leela's mind: Fry!

Bender: Bah, pathetic human emotions. What about the drink I made yo-


A violent explosion to the port bow suddenly interrupts him, as the ship rocks violently and is pushed into a stray boulder.

*CRASH* More shaking causes our two friends to lose their footing and fall to the floor.

Leela: What was that!? Oh... (She notices she is lying onto Fry (yes in THAT position ) and he is just looking up at her face with a childish grin).

Leela cannot help but smile back at him.

Bender: *Cough* Ahem...

They both look up to see Bender looking down at them

Bender: Get a room if you're gonna do that!


CUT TO: The black ship - dark office.

A dark desk is visible at one edge of the screen, the dark silhouette of a man can be seen standing next to it.

Authority type voice (OS): Who is responsible for this downright defiance of my orders!?

Shadowy underling type guy 2: I'm afraid I am, sir.

Authority type voice (OS): You? But why?

Shadowy underling type guy 2: I saw an opportunity and I took the initiative.

Authority type voice (OS): How do you know what action we shall take, eh? I need that ship intact!

Shadowy underling type guy 2: But why, sir? We are sent to hunt them down, correct?

Authority type voice (OS): That is not for me to know and you to tell me... err... I mean... That's not for you to know!

Shadowy underling type guy 2: I understand, sir. It wont happen again.

Authority type voice (OS): It better not. Now start looking to find out where they fled!

Shadowy underling type guy 2: Yes, sir! (He walks out)

Authority type voice (OS, shouting after him): Number 2!!...*sigh* He forgot the dang lights again....


CUT TO: inside the PE ship - dark matter engine room.

Leela is inspecting some loose wiring and sparking electrical components and Fry is looking around.

Leela (looking inside some maintenance case): Well, it looks like one of the missiles escaped the asteroid field and busted up our afterburner. I can rig this panel to get the engines back online, but we'll have to settle for half cruising speed until we can get Amy or the professor on to this.

Fry: Great. And I though it would take longer even before this happened.

Leela: We still have to complete the delivery, and if my calculations are correct, we should be arriving there.... 30 minutes ago. Eh?... Bender!

Bender (looks in through the doorway): What?

Leela: You did measure those radiation levels I asked you about, didn't you?

Bender: Of course not, I just wrote down some numbers I found on Fry's lightspeed briefs.

Fry: Hey! You were rummaging through my underwear? You are one sick robot.

Bender: Don't get any ideas, skintube. I was making room for my magazine collection.


CUT TO: Inside the PE ship - bridge.

Leela is standing by the navigation console, Fry is right beside her.

Leela: According to this starchart, we still have 2 hours worth of travel time to go before we reach Catastrophicon 5. We should get going right away.

Fry's mind (seductively): You know... there are plenty of things you can do in 2 hours...

Leela: *sigh*

Fry (faking innocence): What? I didn't say anything.

Leela (actually looking mildly amused): No, but you were thinking it and that's bad enough.

Leela gets into the pilot seat and the ship flies on.


CUT TO: The Nimbus - bridge. Ca 2 hours later.

Zapp is sitting in the captain's chair, talking to Kif.

Kif: Here is the post-mission report for the troop assault, sir. (he holds out a clipboard to Zapp)

Zapp: mmh, aha, mhm, ah yes, aha.

Kif: *sigh* Just take it, sir (Kif still holds out the clipboard)

Zapp: Don't order me around! I'm the captain on this vessel and I alone shall bear the terrible burden of telling you academy rejects what to do.

Zapp takes the clipboard and begins to read... He looks puzzled.

Zapp: Kif! Why are there no enemy casualties?

Kif: The platoons mutated and scattered once they breathed the polluted atmosphere, sir.

Zapp: That's a pitiful excuse if I ever heard one! And believe me, I know them all.

Kif: *groan*

Zapp: Kif! Order a second strike team to prepare for deployment, immediately!

Kif: But, sir...

Zapp: Kiiif! Object to my order again and I'll throw you in the brig. Now bring my masterful plan into work.

Kif: *sigh*

A moment passes.

Zapp: Kif? Why aren't you performing your duties?

Kif: There is another, this, sir.

Zapp: Weeell, don't just stand there like some starving Indian child, tell me.

Kif: We have picked up the Planet Express delivery ship en-route to the planet.

Zapp: Planet Express? Ah, the fair lady Leela is returning to her rightful place in my bed, once again. It's hardly surprising (picks up a pocket mirror and looks into it while stroking his hair). Mmm, yes...

Kif: *groan*


CUT TO: Inside the PE ship - bridge.

The ship is approaching the Catastrophicon system, Leela is still at the helm. Fry is sitting at tactical, with his feet on the console looking at Leela. When she occasionally turns her head to look herself, Fry simply turns away and pretends he's looking at something else.

Leela: OK, we should see the planet coming into view soon. (A drop-down videophone comes down from the ceiling).

Leela (picking up the phone): Yes, this is the Planet Express ship.

The screen just displays static, but a dark, strange voice can be heard on the phone.

Weird distorted voice: Planet Express, eh? You are LATE!

Leela: Sorry, we ran into some trouble.

Weird distorted voice: No matter, bring the supplies to these co-ordinates (A set of numbers appear on the vid-screen).

Leela: OK. We'll be there soon.

Weird distorted voice: Oki....uhh... you don't have any mints with you, do ya? (sound of a slap) *ouch*...uh, on second thoughts, forget it...

The call ends and the vid-phone returns to its invisible position in the roof, as the planet comes into view.

Fry gets up and walks up to Leela's side. Unfortunately, the first thing that comes into view is not the planet but the Nimbus.

Leela: What? The Nimbus shouldn't be here now, it should've turned back home hours ago.

Fry: Maybe Zapp knew you were coming and stayed to meet you?

Leela: Would hardly be surprising, although I personally think he must've screwed up the attack or something, since he didn't know that we were supposed to come here.

Leela: Let's just try and avoid his ship completely for once.


CUT TO: Outside the PE ship, near Catastrophicon 5.

The PE ship makes a run for it and blasts quickly off towards the planet. Zapp, not being prepared for it, didn't have time to order a tractor beam to capture them, and so our crew is safe... for now.


CUT TO: PE ship setting down on the surface of Catastrophicon 5.

The PE ship sets down in a clearing of a dead, polluted forest next to a large volcano. The crew stays inside the ship for now.


CUT TO: Inside the PE ship - bridge.

Leela gets up from her pilot seat and looks over some gauges.

Leela: Well, it looks like the atmosphere is highly poisonous and is contaminated with some strange radiation. Normal environment suits won't help much...

Fry: Then we'll just let Bender do it.

Leela: Good idea, he hasn't done anything useful on this trip yet. I might as well tell him right away.

Fry's mind (seductively): And while he's away....

Leela's mind: *groan*


CUT TO: Inside the PE ship - cargo bay.

Bender is asleep on one of the crates, mumbling something about killing all humans.

Leela walks in.

Leela: Bender?

Bender: Zzzzzz...

Leela: Bender!!

Bender (turns up the volume): ZZZZZZZ....

Leela: *sigh* (She walks up to the winch controls)

Leela moves the magnetic crane pad into position and activates it. Bender immediately lifts from his perch and connects to the pad with a metallic *whang*!

Bender: What the!? Oh oh! (he starts to sing) "Oh say, can you SEE, how a robot like MEE...."

Leela looks on in amusement for awhile and then manoeuvres the crane to an open spot and deactivates the magnet. Bender falls flat to the floor with a loud *Clang*!

Bender: *pant* How DARE you treat me like that!? I've got half a mind to shove this magnet up your ass right now!

Leela: Well that's tough, cause I got a job for you, delivering these 3 crates into the nearby cave system.

Bender: Delivery? That's Fry's job, I'm not doing that!

Leela: Fry can't enter this planet's atmosphere without mutating into something hideous.

Bender: Then you go. You're already mutated into something hideous, it won't affect you.

Leela: *groan* Maybe so, but I still cannot resist the high radiation and YOU probably can!

Bender: You know what's wrong with you humans? You're all so weak. I bet us robots could probably do anything you humans can, and a lot better too.

Leela: Then prove it.

Bender (grumbling): *mumble* *mumble* (he gets up and moves a crate to the cargo lift).

Bender: Get outta here and let the competent handle this, meatbag.

Leela leaves through the door, heading back towards the bridge. Fry is sitting in the pilot seat humming something.

Leela: Bender will do it.

Fry (turning his head towards Leela): Wow, you actually talked him into it?

Leela: It was ALL about boosting his already soaring ego (points at the communication console). Let's see how it goes.

On the monitor, we see Bender hauling all the crates into position on the cargo lift and proceeds to lower them and himself down to the surface. Brown smoke begins to flow into the open cargo bay.

Leela: Hmm, better vent that away (She pushes a switch).

As the cargo lift closes, the sound of a vacuum cleaner can be heard and the smoke clears.

Leela: There we go, let's watch Benders progress. (she presses another switch).

The monitor flickers for a moment and then shows the underside of the PE ship with the three crates standing on the ground, but Bender is nowhere to be seen.

Leela: That's odd, where's Bender?

Fry: Maybe he went to the bathroom?

Leela gives him an annoyed look.

Fry: Uh...right...robot...

Leela: Seriously though, where is he?

A banging sound can be heard from the side airlock doors, Fry moves over to open it and in steps a frightened looking Bender.

Bender (terrified): Fry! It's Terrible! I've lost my pulse! I... I... I think I'm dead!

Fry: You're a robot, you don't have a pulse.

Bender: Robot? What's that? *gasp* Are you telling me I'm.... mutating!?

Fry: You can't mutate, Bender, you're a robot.....hey...where have I heard this before...?

Bender suddenly drops to the floor and shakes his head.

Bender: Uhh.... Fry? Where am I? What happened?

Fry: You came in and said you died.

Bender (disbelief): What? I can't die, I'm a robot! Only you weak organisms can die!

Leela (standing in the doorway): You don't remember anything of what happened?

Bender: Well, I was planning to spend Fry's money on a new beer keg as I was unloading the crates.....then.... I was here... (he looks around quizzically)

Leela: Hmm, I wonder what kind of radiation this really is.... The professor said they were using "stuperfaction mutagen", perhaps this is what it does?

Fry: Hey yeah! Like the time I saved the entire world from a bunch of giant superbrains! They were also using some kinda stupid ray thingies.

Leela: You did no such thing! You just made that up to try and convince Hermes to begin paying you again.

Fry: But I did do it, Leela! I swear! Look, I even kept the book I wrote to stop them! (Takes out a college-notepad)

Leela: Let me see that (She takes it)...hmm... "...and then for no raisin, he left the Earth forever.."?

Fry: I never was good at spelling... but he got the picture.

Leela: Fry! This story stinks as bad as your 2-week-old underwear. There's no way giant brains could've invaded Earth without the rest of us knowing.

Fry: I tried to tell you all about it, but none of you seemed to remember it, I was the only one who did.

Leela: And why would that be?

Fry: Because....uh... actually I still haven't figured out that part yet....

Leela: *groan*

A long pause ensues.

Leela (Looks at Fry, he seems determined): Well, we are kinda running out of options here, so I'll guess that it wouldn't hurt to at least check.

Fry: Thanks.

Leela: Go to the cargo bay, Fry, I'll go to the bridge to prepare a test.

Fry (happy): Okay.

Bender (watching Fry leave through the back door, then turning to Leela): You're gonna get him killed...

Leela: I sure hope not...


CUT TO: Inside the PE ship - bridge.

Leela is watching Fry through a security monitor.

Leela's mind: Well, I'm all set here, Fry. Are you ready?

Fry's mind: Yup... and Leela?

Leela's mind: mm?

Fry's mind: Thanks... for trusting me.

Leela's mind: We'll see...

Leela (pushing various buttons): Releasing the external radiation shields around the cargo bay... sealing doors...

Inside the cargo bay, the doors are blocked by bars and small sparks of electricity fly from various points on the walls. Fry can feel it getting a bit colder, but other than that, nothing.

Fry (whistling a little): Dum di dum...

Leela (through the speaker system): Fry? Do you feel anything?

Fry: Nope, not a thing...

Leela looks at the radiation counter: it shows that the room is completely radiated.

Leela (mildly puzzled, through the speaker system again): You sure about that?

Fry: Gee, I said I'm fine, Leela. Now do you trust me?

Leela (scratching her head): I... I guess so...

Fry: Good, then let me outta here, its getting cold.

Leela activates the containment fields and unseals the cargo bay. Fry walks out from the monitor picture, and arrives at the bridge a minute later.

Leela (looking very puzzled): Well, that certainly was... strange... why... how is this possible!?

Fry: I dunno, maybe I'm just too clever to be affected by it?

Leela's mind: Or too stupid.

Fry's mind: Hey! I heard that!

Leela's mind: Sorry.

Bender:.... You're acting strange again, what IS it with you two?

They just look at him strangely.

Bender (resigned): Urgh, forget it.

Leela (turning towards Fry): Well, this is all right and good, but you'll still mutate if you go out there.

Fry: Yeah, I wish I was a mutant like you. Then this would've been no problem and we might have actually... (Fry sees Leela giving him an annoyed look) uh... forget it.

Bender: He's got a point Leela, let's toss him out the airlock! (Bender grabs Fry's arm).

Fry: Hey! Knock it off Bender!

Leela: Quit it, both of you! It's too late now anyway. We'll solve this tomorrow. (Leela leaves the bridge).

Bender (letting go): Aw, you always spoil the fun part.


CUT TO: Inside the PE ship - captains quarters.

Leela lies in her bed, staring at the ceiling.

Leela's mind: Fry?

No response.

Leela's mind: He must already be asleep.

She just silently lies there for a while, then after a few minutes, she closes her eye and falls asleep as well.


CUT TO: Dream sequence - darkness.

The image of Leela materializes in the now very familiar dark abyss she had visited many times by now. Fry is already standing there, waiting for her.

Fry: Hi, Leela, I figured you'd come here sooner or later.

Leela: It's not like I have a choice.

Fry: Well, that depends... I've noticed that if you try to sleep in here, you actually don't dream and wake up normally.

Leela: Hmm? I'll have to try that.

They just stand there for awhile in awkward silence. Fry suddenly speaks.

Fry: You know... I've waited for you to come.

Leela: Why?

Fry: Because....there is something I want to show you.... although it hurts just by thinking about it.

Leela: What is it?

Fry: A memory.... something I really wanted you to see. Unfortunately, you couldn't have known. If you had, then everything might have turned out differently. I felt horrible after it all.

Leela (softly): Fry... you don't have to.

Fry: It's OK, Leela, I'm alright. I just have to show it to you or you might never find out.

Fry turns silent as if he's thinking about something. The world around them flickers violently for a few seconds and afterwards they both find themselves standing... in a church.

The whole PE gang is there: Hermes and his wife, LaBarbera; Zoidberg; Professor Farnsworth and his clone, Cubert; Amy; Bender; and of course Fry and Leela standing at the altar, when the robot preacher speaks his final words.

Robot Priest: ...husband and wife! You may kiss the bride.

Crowd: Yeeehaaay. Woohoo!

Fry: I suddenly found ourselves standing there after a timeslip, I thought it was the happiest 10 seconds of my life.

Leela: ......

Dream Leela: FRY! You tricked me!...

Fry makes a face of pain as he hears Dream Leela speak those words. Leela looks sad.

Fry: And then came the only possible outcome, I suppose...

The world around them flashes to a different location, a courtroom.

Dream Fry and Dream Leela stands in front of the judge behind his desk.

Judge: ...divorce final! (he strikes his hammer) *bang*

Real Fry: It came as an equally big shock to me at the wedding, but this one hurt really bad. The mere thought of the fact that you believed that I tricked you into marrying me cut like a knife though my heart...

Fry: ...sure. Break my heart again why don't you!?

Real Leela: *sigh* I know it must've been hard for you, but I kinda panicked at the time and since I do not know how you did it, I still think it was the right decision.

Fry: The worst part is yet to come Leela... this is the very thing that haunts me at night...

The world around them flickers a bit and then turns into.... the bridge of the PE ship.

Leela: This is when we detonated that doomsday device to clear out the chronotons?

Fry: Almost... (Fry closes his eyes)....*sigh* I don't really want to see this again... It hurts so bad....

Leela (Putting her hand on his shoulder): Then don't Fry... You can stop this right now...

Fry (sad): No... I must do this...

Dream Fry and Dream Leela is standing next to the windshield.

Dream Fry: Look Leela, I don't think I tricked you into marrying me, but... maybe I did. And if so, I'm sorry.

Dream Leela: It's OK, Fry. You know we'll always be friends, right?

Dream Fry: Yeah, but I don't guess anything I can do would make you feel the same way about me that I do about you.

Dream Leela: I guess not...

Dream Leela gives Dream Fry a small kiss on the cheek.

Dream Bender (walking in through the door): Well, the doomsday device is ready. Maybe blasting this quadrant of space into a flaming hell storm of nothingness will cheer me up a little.

Dream Leela: OK. Let me just take the ship out to a safe distance...

Dream Leela spots Dream Fry standing there in total misery.

Dream Leela: ...actually. I think I'll go down and prep the detonator. Fry, why don't you take the helm?

Dream Fry looks up and smiles a little. He walks over to the pilot seat.

Dream Fry: She's so great. I feel like I can almost remember the magical thing I did to make her love me, but I guess I never will.

Dream Bender: Sorry buddy. I too know what it's like to have a dream I'll never achieve.

Dream Fry pilots the ship away from the cluster of stars, the ships engines roar as the stars grow smaller.

Dream Fry (looks to his left and spots something): Ooooooooooh!

The stars fading in the distance begins to form words as the ship moves away. They say: "I LOVE YOU, LEELA".

The real Leela standing next to a pained Fry looks at the gargantuan achievement. A tear begins to form in her eye...

Dream Fry: That's how I must've done it! I moved the stars themselves to write her a love note in the sky!

The ship intercom interrupts him.

Dream Leela (over the intercom): Detonation in three, two, one...


Dream Fry's screaming sent the real Fry to his knees, covering his ears and his eyes are tear-shot from the horror of the memory. Leela just stares in disbelief, a few tears running from her eye as well...

Dream Leela and Bender walks in.

Dream Fry: Did you see it!? Did you see it!?

Dream Bender: What? The explosion?

Dream Fry: NO! Not the explosion.

Dream Leela: Then what?

Dream Fry (after a short pause): ....nothing....

The real Fry lets go of his concentration and the world around flickers for a second and then returns to the darkness from before.

Fry is standing with his back towards Leela and his head down. Leela is once again stumped by the chain of events that had just played out before her. She wonders for a split second if Fry could've faked it, but is soon proved wrong when she looks around to see the broken image of Fry sobbing silently just a few meters away from her.

She walks up to him.

Leela (puts her hand on his shoulder, she speaks softly): Fry... I... I never knew...

Fry (quietly with sorrow in his voice): Well... now you do... (he carefully walks away from her a bit)

After a very long pause, Fry speaks again.

Fry (his back still towards Leela): This is it, Leela, I've shown you everything I've ever felt about you, but never told you about.

Another pause, although shorter.

Fry (closes his eyes): No more secrets.

Fade to black

After Fry had revealed all the events that he had pent up inside him for all this time, Leela didn't really know how she should feel. She cared about Fry A LOT, she just couldn't bring herself to admit it. She had standards that a man who she went out with had to have, and Fry didn't even fulfil a single one of them. Except for one single condition that she hadn't taken into consideration before...

Leela's mind: He has to love me...

Leela was sitting up in her bed, still visibly shaken by Fry's memory. After she had heard Fry utter his final words in the dream, she had pinched herself in the arm to wake up, leaving him there. She needed to be alone, she needed time to think. And because of the implants inside their heads, times like this were the only ones where she could have some privacy with herself, even though she felt really bad about leaving him behind like that.

Leela's mind: It's incredible that he still hasn't gone insane. I know I would've broken down completely if I had done so much and still to no avail.... He... He must truly be in love with me...

She just kept sitting there for a long while. A minute? An hour? She did not really know how much time had passed until she finally got up, dressed and headed for the bridge.


CUT TO: PE ship bridge

Bender was sitting in the pilot seat, drinking as usual. Leela steps into the room.

Bender: Hey meatbag! You're up bright and early. Craving some of 'ol Bender's breakfast cuisine, eh?

Leela (she sits down at one of the passenger couches): Thanks Bender, but I'm really not hungry.

Bender: Hey? Are you alright? You haven't even shown the smallest tendency to yell at me for occupying your seat.

Leela (looks up): Huh? No, its nothing. I was just thinking about something.

Bender: You and Fry have been acting really weird lately, is it something you can't tell me? Cause in that case, I'll just go pry it outta Fry. He's still asleep in his bunk, so that wont pose too much of a challenge.

Leela: *sigh* Just let it pass, Bender, I'm really not in the mood.

Bender just looked quizzically at her, surprised she didn't even react to that.

Bender: What...IS...with you? Ooooh, now I get it! You're in love with that squishy skintube, aren't you?

Leela: What? Noooo.....

Bender (chuckling to himself): Hehe, it's about frickin' time! Fry's been after you ever since the day you thawed him out. Guess he finally got though to ya, huh? Though I personally can't see what he sees in you...

Leela: Bender, just be quiet. You have no idea what you're talking about.

Bender: Riiight. Just because I'm a robot, it doesn't mean I'm stupid like Fry. All the strange looks you give each other, those times where you just sit there and stare into each others eyes and... urgh... I think I'm getting sick...

Leela: That wasn't love Bender...

Bender: Oh yeah!? Then what?

Leela: It was....uh...

As on cue, Fry steps into the bridge just in time to interrupt the conversation and save some embarrassment for Leela.

Fry: Hi Bender, what up? (He spots Leela sitting on the couch) Oh...hi Leela..... (He sits himself down at the tactical station, never even meeting Leela's gaze).

They sit there in awkward silence for a while. Finally, Fry speaks.

Fry: So.. Any ideas on how to complete the delivery?

Bender: Nope! Me and Leela can't do it cause the radiation will screw up our heads, and you can't do it cause the gases will screw up your body. Let's just dump the crates and go home.

Leela (getting an idea): Ah... I think I know a way.

Bender: My suggestion to just throw Fry out the airlock and have the mutation done with? Alright! Let's do it! (He gets up)

Leela (getting PO): *GROAN* No, you pitiful excuse for a tin can! That is NOT what I meant!

Both Bender and Fry look at her quizzically after her sudden outburst.

Leela: Uh... I mean... I wasn't thinking about that. There might be another way, but I'll have to talk to Fry about it.... (gives Bender an irritated look) alone!

Bender: Fine! If you guys want to consummate your so-called relationship right now, then I'll just go get some well deserved down-time with my liquor-still. Have fun, chumps! ( he leaves).

Fry: Uh, what was that all about?

Leela: Nothing, he's just jumping to his own conclusions again.

Fry: Oh. So, what was it you wanted to talk to me about?

Leela: Well, I have been thinking. When we flew through the asteroid field, I took control of your body temporarily, maybe you could do the same thing to me if I were to go out there.

Fry: But Leela! If you go out there, you might never come back! You'll go out of your mind as soon as you step out the airlock!

Leela: I know. But perhaps if you could take over at that point, we could actually pull this through, since your mind seems immune to the stuff.

Fry: Hmm. That could work I suppose, but.... are you sure you can trust "me" with control over your body?

Leela: ....

Fry: I might lose it halfway through and then you'll be gone forever!

Leela: ....

Fry: Please Leela! I don't think I could handle it if I lose not only my chance for you to go out with me but you as my friend as well.

Leela: You won't lose me, Fry. It's me we're talking about, remember? I am the one who usually saves _your_ ass.

Fry: But...

Leela (puts her finger to his mouth): Shhhh. Let's just do it, OK?

Fry: ...'Kay...


CUT TO: PE ship cargo bay.

Leela is standing next to the cargo lift with the 2 hover dollies. She looks determined to go through this. She cannot help but contemplate the fact that she actually proposed this idea herself. Why? Why did she even think such a thing? Maybe she felt she had to restore some of Fry's faith by this act, or maybe she thought she had to prove herself to him one way or another. Either way, there was no going back now. In but a few minutes, her mind would be severely distorted and Fry would be left at the controls...

She had given Fry a heavy tranquilizer from the medbay, so he was already sound asleep in his quarters. This was sort of a double-edged sword. On the one hand, being asleep was a requirement for this stunt to even work, but on the other hand, it also dampened the effect of the implant which causes conversation between the two more difficult. Right now, however, she was rather thankful for that as she could think all of this over without his interference. It wouldn't take long, however, before Fry figured out how to "control" her after the extensive lecture she had him go through.

As she thought these last thoughts, a familiar voice began to sound in her head.

Fry's mind: Leela?

Leela's mind: Yes, I can hear you, Fry.

Fry's mind: Good, I was almost beginning to give up before I heard some mumbling. What were you thinking about?

Leela's mind: Oh, nothing. Nothing special.

Fry's mind: .... Are you SURE you want to go through with this, Leela?

Leela's mind: *sigh* Let's just do it already!

Fry's mind: ....You're the captain...

Fry begins to concentrate, as much as he is capable of anyways. Leela struggles with her own self-preservation reflexes for a while, but finally gives way to the probing thoughts of her friend.

One of her hands twitches a little, then flies up and hits Leela squarely in the face!

Leela's mind: Hey! Watch it!

Fry's mind: Oops! Sorry about that. Man, this feels weird...

Leela's mind: Try to use a little less force... gently now...

Leela's left arm begins to move, it begins to wave around in the air.

Fry's mind: Wooowooo!

Leela's mind: Good! Try walking now...

Leela's legs begins to move slightly... her left leg takes a step.... then...she falls down with a sounding *thud*!

Leela: Ow! That hurt.

Fry's mind: Ahh, sorry! Um... do you want to quit?

Leela's mind: Just don't that that again, OK?

Fry's mind: I'll try.

Leela, after much effort, gets up and takes a step forward.

Leela's mind: Good. You got that right, now let's go for a walk.

Leela walks around the cargo bay for a minute or two, it seems as if Fry has gotten the hang of this after all.

Leela's mind: Great! Now let's get this over with.

Leela takes back control for a moment and begins to operate the cargo life via her WristThingy™. The lift carries both her and the hover dollies out of the ship and onto the planet's surface. Gas begins to seep into the ship through the open cargo bay, but it is soon cleared by the already active ventilation system. A few moments after Leela steps off the lift, it returns to close the opening. Leela, now standing outside, can feel her consciousness slip into stupor. Her last thought was, "Here goes nothing.... I'm counting on you Fry..."

Fry's mind: Leela? Leela, can you hear me?

Leela: Duuuh.

Fry's mind: Oh man, she's whacked out. I sure hope this works (he concentrates on his love).

Leela (noticing her body begins to move by itself): Oooh. Leela moving. Leela go for ride!

She walks over to the hover dollies and loads them with the 3 crates.

Leela: Weeeee!

Fry's mind: Oh boy, she's really out of it. It reminds me so much of that time... (he begins to think about the events in The Day the Earth Stood Stupid).

Leela suddenly drops to the ground, Fry's attention apparently distracted.

Leela: Aww, no more ride for Leela? Leela go make own ride!

Leela begins to run around wailing like a fire truck. Fry snaps out of his flashback, cursing his short attention span.

Fry's mind: Dammit! I spaced out. Leela? Leela!?

Leela: Oooo, no fire to put out! Maybe Leela MAKE fire!? (She pulls out her laser gun she forgot to put away before going out)

Fry's mind: Oh my GOD! She's found her gun! Concentrate, Fry, CONCENTRATE DAMMIT!

Fry's face is becoming red and his body is sweating profusely from the extreme effort.

Leela (noticing her hand about to drop the gun): What? No fire? NO FAIR! (She begins to counter Fry's remote mind control)

Fry's mind: Unnngghhh... No... Don't do this, Leela.....please...........plea..se...


CUT TO: Inside the PE ship, Fry and Bender's quarters.

Bender's suddenly awakened by the sound of Fry talking in his sleep.

Bender: Huh? (he looks down at him) Hey, Fry! Quit mumbling about Leela all the time! A robot is trying to get some sleep here.

Fry (in his sleep): ...No...Leela....No....

Bender: Hey! HEY! (Fry doesn't wake up) *mumble*. (He gets up)

Bender (looking at Fry with curiosity): Hmm, the meatbag seems to be dreaming about Leela again, huh? Man, he is even more hopeless than Zoidberg. I wonder what Leela is up to (he walks out).

Entering Leela's quarters, he finds it to be as empty as last weeks beer bottle collection. Bender then tries the bridge, but again to no avail.

Bender: Where _is_ she? Hey, I wonder if....

He walks over to the surveillance monitor and presses a button, the image flicker once and then shows the outside of the ship. Leela is standing next to the two hover dollies, wielding a gun and seems to just be able to hold it in her hand.

Bender: So, she decided to try the delivery anyway and now she's gonna kill herself. Oh well, I guess this show is as good as anything (he sits down and opens a new beer).


CUT TO: Outside the PE ship

Leela is still struggling with Fry's attempt to control the gun.

Leela: Leela.... want.... FIRE! (She manages to get off a shot, it hits a dead tree nearby, which immediately bursts into flames)

Leela (happy like a child): Weee! Fire!

Her attention is diverted from the gun and Fry seizes the opportunity to have her throw it away.

Leela (watching the gun fly into some bushes): Aw, no more fire...

She sighs a bit and lets Fry control her again. She walks up to the hover dollies again and pushes them in front of her as she heads towards the caves.


CUT TO: PE ship bridge.

Bender: Aw, crap... goodbye sweet promotion...*sigh* Oh well.. (he chugs down some more beer and continues to watch Leela's little quest)


CUT BACK TO: Outside the PE ship - Volcano cave.

As Leela approaches the caves, she becomes a bit uneasy, but Fry is determined to not lose control over her again and so she enters without hesitation.

Leela: Ohh.. spooky...

She moves down the many corridors, pushing the two hover dollies in front of her, they limit her sightline a bit, but other then that, everything seems to be working fine for once.

She comes across a large steel door shaped like a giant cogwheel.

Leela: Oooh, big door. Leela knock?

Fry's mind: Personally, I don't think that would help much, let's just use the panel thingy next to it.

Leela: Caaaaaaaan dooooo!

Leela walks over to the console and looks down on it. It has several buttons, but Fry (in a sudden streak of intelligence) decides to go with the button labelled "push me". Leela pushes it and a faint doorbell sound can be heard from the other side.

A few moments later, the giant cogwheel begins to move to one side, revealing a round entrance. The outline of several humanoid figures can be seen through the blinding light coming from the other side.

Leela: Leela come in peace?

A hooded man approaches Leela

Leader: Are you the Planet Express delivery crew?

Leela: Duuuuh?

The leader scratches his head, but notices the crates are marked with the Planet Express logo.

Leader: I see, well, you are LATE! These supplies should've been here yesterday!

Leela: Leela bring boxes. Fun stuff?

Leader: Eh? Are you alright?

Leela: Leela feel splinter in hand. Leela think fine otherwise.

Leader: Uh… Riiiiight. Anyway, you have the paperwork I have to sign for these things?

Leela: Leela bring blocky paper thingy, You want?

Leader: Uh, yeah... give it here...

Leela just stands there looking at some stalactites in the cave. Fry notices and has her take out the clipboard and give it to the man. He takes it and signs it with some strange symbols.

Leader (hands her the clipboard back): There you go. Now get outta here before I decide to steal the crates and put you in the broom closet.

Leela: Leela want play with brooms! Leela make good witch!

The leader doesn't pay her any attention, he instead has two guards unload the crates inside the door and leave the dollies by Leela's side. He walks back into the complex.

Leader (as the door closes behind him): Urgh, if it wasn't for the fact that we're stuck here with the rest of our race wiped out by chemical bombs, I would never put up with this shit...

Leela: Bye! Come visit again sometime!? (The door closes with a *Clang*)

Fry's mind: Phew, that went reasonably well. Now let's get you back in here, Leela.

Leela: Awww, Leela want to stay to look at nice cave...

Fry's mind: NO! You don't! Come back here now!

Leela (crossing her arms): NO! I won't follow you anymore! You no fun!

Fry's mind: I got a candy bar.

Leela: OH! Yummy! (She darts away)

Fry's mind: Uh, you gotta bring the dollies or Lee--... uh... the door wont open...

Leela: Ow phooey. (she mutters something about backseat driving as she gets back and grabs the dollies)


CUT TO: Inside the PE ship, main hall.

Fry, having successfully guided Leela back to the cargo bay with both dollies, is still sound asleep. Bender, having watched most of the spectacle via the ship's monitors, greets her in the cargo bay.

Bender: Hey skintube! I must admit I'm mighty impressed by your giant stupidity! Yessir, I thought only Fry was capable of throwing himself into certain death. But this, oooh, this was really something. Hey, are you even listening to me?

Leela: Duuuuh?

Fry's mind: Come on, Leela! Snap out of it! There's no gas in here, you should be fine.

Leela (looks as she's getting a headache): Fry?...uuhhh...

Bender (grabbing Leela's wallet): What's the matter? You snapping out of it?

Leela: Uhh. Oh my head... Remind me to never do that again...

Fry's mind: YES! Leela, we did it!

Leela's mind: We did? I can't remember a thing...

Fry's mind: Aw, crap. This is just like last time. I'm once again the unknown hero of the universe... OK, maybe not the universe but still this planet... ah, maybe not that either but instead....

Leela's mind: Fry, just be quiet.

Fry's mind: Oh... OK.

Leela: I'm gonna go get some rest, and then we'll get the hell outta this dump.

Leela walks out of the cargo bay.

Bender (counting Leela's money): You're the boss. Hehe...


CUT TO: Space, near Catastrophicon 5. A few hours later.

The PE ship is blasting off from the planet's surface and is heading for home.


CUT TO: Inside the PE ship - bridge

Leela is at the helm, piloting the ship like she always does, Fry is sitting on the passenger couch and Bender is pretending to read a book called "understanding human emotion", but the book is turned upside down and he has in fact a robot pornomag inside it.

Leela: *sigh* With the engines damaged, it'll take almost a full day to get back to Earth.

Fry: Ugh. Bo-o-ring. What are we gonna do for a whole day?

Bender (looking up from behind his literature): We can have a laser-gun duel and I'll bet on Leela.

Fry: Hey? Why Leela? I beat her fair and square in that internet video game.

Leela: The only reason you beat me is because I was upset at the fact that you wrecked my one chance to find my true home.

Fry: Good thing we found out you were from Earth then.

Leela: It wasn't quite what I expected, I can tell you that...

Their small talk is interrupted by a loud *thud*!

Leela: *groan* What is it THIS time!?

A vidphone comes down from the ceiling and Zapp's face flickers into existence.

Zapp: You are hereby under arrest for violation of established territorial borders, consorting with the enemy and... uh...

Leela (annoyed): Let's just skip the details and get right to the point. What do you want Zapp?

Zapp (seductively): Oh my. The craving for the Zapper has returned, yes?

Leela (disgusted): Would you cut that OUT!? I'm not interested in sleeping with you ever again! Can't you just accept that?

Zapp (disappointed): No. You know you want me, you just don't know it yet. But I still will have to detain you and your ship for consorting with the enemy. (seductively) We can talk about us later (makes a kissing motion before the vidphone returns to the ceiling)

Leela: Ugh!


CUT TO: Space.

The Nimbus launches fighters that escort the PE ship into one of its many docking bays. There appears to be no escape this time.


CUT TO: Inside the Nimbus, Docking bay 12.

The PE ship sets down and is immediately sealed inside by two large steel doors. As the bay is pressurized, the PE ship is surrounded by a platoon of Zapp's "loyal" men as well has Zapp himself.


CUT TO: Inside the PE ship, bridge.

Leela gets up from the pilot seat.

Leela: *sigh* Well guys, it looks like we will have to deal with Zapp again. I was hoping I'd never have to see him again since the time he court-martialled you, Fry, but I guess that was just too much to hope for.

Fry: Aw, don't worry, Leela. You'll get us out of this, you always do.

Bender: Yeah, and if that doesn't work, you can always sleep with him aga-(*CRASH*)

Leela (making a face and rubbing her hand): Well then, shall we go?


CUT TO: Previous shot

Zapp (and Kif) is standing by the ship stairs, a group of the Nimbus' crew are standing around him with laser rifles in hand as Leela, Fry and Bender walk down.

Zapp: Well, well. We meet in person once more, my lovely. Too bad it's under such unfortunate circumstances.

Leela (still annoyed): Look, just throw us in the brig already. I'm tired of your constant babble.

Zapp: As the lady commands. Kif! Escort these war criminals to the detention block, I shall personally interrogate the leader of these outlaws.

Kif: *sigh* As you say, Captain... (Kif and some of the men take Bender and Fry away)

Zapp: Now then, my pretty, let's find out who you're working for... (he begins walking towards the detention block with a laser gun pointed towards Leela)

Leela: Just give it up, Zapp. I'm working for Planet Express and have been doing so for more than two years now and you know it!

Zapp: Aha! But how do I know you're not involved in some neutral plot to turn the tide of the Pacifists' war machine!?

Leela: The Pacifists don't even HAVE a war machine. They've been at peace for over 200 years!

Zapp: Ah yes, that is what they want you to believe, isn't it?

Leela: Of course. Because it's the truth!

Zapp: Really? Then how do you explain the vast quantinity of ships that gathered around their capital, mmm?

Leela: They were celebrating their annual crystal flower festival! Species from around the galaxy came to partake in that and you know it!

Zapp: No.

Leela: *groan*

They finally arrive at Leela's cell and she is tossed in there as Zapp activates its force field.

Zapp: It's a shame it has to end this way, beautiful. Had our paths turned out differently, I would've had you as my....assistant long ago.

Zapp: Until we meet again (Zapp blows her a small kiss)

Leela: Ugh!


CUT TO: Inside the Nimbus, Fry's cell.

Fry is walking back and forth inside his cell. He hadn't seen Bender since they were taken away. He assumed that they would've put him in his own cell, or deactivated him or something...

Fry: Crud... This was definitely not the way I hoped to get back home. *sigh* I wonder if Leela's alright... (he sits down on the cot and closes his eyes)

Fry's mind: Leela? Are you there?

Leela's mind (annoyed): Yeah, I'm here. Where else would I be?

Fry's mind: They didn't hurt you or anything?

Leela's mind: No, not really. Although Zapp seemed to insinuate that someone might later.

Fry's mind: Insi-wha?

Leela's mind: Uh, nothing...

Some time passes without any of them say anything...

Leela's mind: Soooo. What happened with you then, where are you staying?

Fry's mind (sarcastic): A lovely little hotel called 67B, I think....that's what the neon sign says outside the cell anyways.

Leela's mind: Mmm? Not too far from mine then, 45A.

Fry's mind: Really?

Leela's mind (also sarcastic): Yeah. Only 3 floors and 250 metres.

Fry's mind (disappointed): Oh...

Leela's mind: Mmmm...

Fry's mind: You wouldn't know where they might've taken Bender, wouldya?

Leela's mind: He's a robot, they probably shut him down and stashed him in the storage room... or somewhere where they can always keep an eye on him.


CUT TO: Inside one of the Nimbus' corridors

We can see a barely closed door with a robot arm hanging out, and two guys are walking past.

Guard 1: But, won't he find out about it?

Guard 2: Hey, do you wanna drag that stinking piece of machinery all the way down to storage?

Guard 1: Well, no. But I still think the broom closet was a bad idea...


CUT TO: Previous shot

Fry's mind: Yeah you're right, he'll be fine.

A pause again (man, we get a lot of these nowadays).

Fry's mind: Leela?

Leela's mind: Yes?

Fry's mind: Can I ax you a question?

Leela's mind: Go right ahead. I'm not going anywhere.

Fry's mind: Why did you offer yourself to do the delivery on that planet? I mean, not only were there gases and stupid radiation stuff, you even let me control your body. Why? We could've just gone home and forgot about the whole thing. Hermes and the professor would've been angry at us for sure, but it was such a huge risk you took.

Leela's mind: I... I'm not sure, Fry.

Fry's mind: Surely there must be a reason?

Leela's mind: I... just felt I could trust you on that one.

Fry's mind: How come's that?

Leela's mind: Uhh. Well, I did feel kinda guilty that you had to go through all those things you showed me in the dream... I wanted to make it up to you...

Fry's mind: Guilt? That is what you felt?

Leela's mind: Well... yeah...

Fry's mind: Nothing more?

Leela's mind: Umm... Ah... no...

Fry's mind (sad): *sigh* I see...

A moment passes without any of them saying another word, mentally or verbally. The moment turns into minutes and the minutes into hours.

Almost 3 hours has passed until Leela finally tries to "speak" again.

Leela's mind: Fry?

Unfortunately she feels that Fry has once again fallen asleep and apparently does not want to talk to her anymore. She sighs and resigns her attempt, although it still leaves her somewhat uneasy and with a sense of sadness that won't go away...

A few hours later Leela has fallen asleep as well. She entered the darkness in her dream again, but the only thing she found was a sleeping Fry; he didn't want to dream this night obviously, and Leela could hardly blame him. After all, he had received yet another confirmation of his suspicions that she wasn't interested in him any further than basic friendship. Leela let out a heavy sigh, still not sure why she couldn't just tell him how she really felt. Eventually, she lay herself down beside him and fell asleep in her sleep as well [not too confusing I hope ;)].


CUT TO: Fry's cell, later that night. [Right... like there is a day and night in outer space...]

Fry is sleeping peacefully for once when an object falls from the ventilation system and hits him in the head, making a hollow *bonk* sound. He immediately wakes up.

Fry: Hey!? Who's dropping stuff on me?

Voice from the ceiling: I'm a friend. I'm here to help you escape!

Fry: Bender! Oh, I was so worried about you. What happened to you?

Voice from the ceiling: Uh... I'm not Bender...

Fry: You're not? But you said you were my friend.

Voice from the ceiling: I'm another of your friends.

Fry: Amy!? What are you doing here?

Voice from the ceiling: *groan* Ok, I give up. I'm not your friend.

Fry: Oh. Then why are you helping me escape?

Voice from the ceiling (mumbling incoherently): Does it really matter!?

Fry: Well, yeah. You could be an accomplice of Zapp or Kif or Nixon or...

Voice from the ceiling: Look, I'm just sent here to help you...

Fry: Aha! So someone DID send you here! Who is it? Is it Hermes?

Voice from the ceiling (getting really annoyed): NO! I'm NOT sent by Hermes, I'm NOT your friend and I'm NOT an accomplice! Now do you want to escape or not!?!?

Fry: Gee, you don't have to get so upset.

Voice from the ceiling: I axed you a question!

Fry: Wha-?


Fry: Alright, alright. I'll listen already...

Voice from the ceiling (somewhat relieved): Finally... Now look, that thing I just dropped on you will deactivate the force field to the cells on this ship. Use it to free yourself and your captain.

Voice from the ceiling: I've also located your robot. He's been stashed in a broom closet just down this hallway. You can use that device to reactivate him. Now go.

Fry: Thanks, man! Oh, by the way?

Voice from the ceiling: What?

Fry: You sure you're not Hermes?

Voice from the ceiling (going insane): GAAAH!!!


CUT TO: Inside the Nimbus, the corridor outside Fry's cell.

A crackling sound can be heard as the force field dies down. Fry looks out carefully.

Fry: Hmm, except for these two (he looks at two guards sleeping on the floor), this floor looks empty. I better find Bender.

Fry moves silently through the dimly lit corridors. He spots a door left partially open at one side.

Fry (peeking inside): Bender? Whew, thank god I found you!

Fry drags Benders limp body out of the broom closet and uses the spy thingy. Bender's body begins to twitch a little but other than that, Fry gets no response.

Fry: Come on, Bender! Snap out of it!

Fry gives Bender a good kick *clang*. Bender opens his eyeshield.

Bender: *Yawn*. Hey!? What am I doing here?

Fry: Bender! Are you OK?

Bender: Oh, Fry... Yeah I'm alright. That no-good excuse for a sleazebag guard must've shut me down. How long was I out?

Fry: I dunno. I've been sitting in my cell for almost (he looks at his broken watch)... nine hours.

Bender: Nine hours!? OH CRUD!

Fry: What?

Bender: My beautiful booze... *sob* that still must be refuelled every 12 hours... And it was 5 hours into its next period when we landed!

Fry: I'm sorry Bender, is there any way I can make it up to you?

Bender: $50.

Fry: I don't have that on me but you'll get it later, OK? ... Feeling better now?

Bender: Hmm. A little. Maybe at least until we get off this heap.


CUT TO: Inside the Nimbus, various locations

To the theme music from Mission Impossible we see Fry and Bender sneak through the dimly lit corridors, hiding in the strangest of places when guard patrols cross their path. We see Fry and Bender hanging from the ceiling... Bender acting as a floor lamp, complete with screen and Fry inside his compartment... Fry and Bender hiding inside another cell, which turns out to contain a lion... Fry and Bender holding a frame from a painting in front of themselves...

Eventually they reach the vicinity of Leela's cell.

Fry: OK, Bender. You keep watch while I unlock Leela's cell.

Bender takes out his one eye and sticks it to the back of his head.

Bender (wobbling slightly): WoOoOo...

Fry takes out the spy thingamajig and deactivates the force field.

Fry (poking his head inside): Leela?

*WHAM* Fry falls flat to the ground.

Leela (realizing her mistake): Oops. Sorry, Fry...

Fry (seeing little birdies): OoOoOh... And round and round and round we go...

Bender: Are you ready to go, Leela? I think I see another patrol approaching from the western corridor.

Leela (helping the dizzy Fry to his feet): Yeah. I'm ready, let's get outta here!

Fry (still very dizzy): Wha-? Where to cap'?

Leela: Snap out of it, Fry! We're escaping.

Fry: Oooooh, so that's where my ducky went...

Leela: *Sigh* I guess I'll just have to carry you. (She picks him up and hangs him over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes)

Bender (Picks up the spythingy): Here, Leela, take this. Fry used it to open the doors and stuff.

Leela (takes the item): What the? This is an E.M.C.A.D (ElectroMagnetic Current Alternator for Dummies)! Only the government have access to these things, how did Fry---

She is interrupted by a laser shot suddenly hitting the wall next to her!

Guard (OS): Call for security! The prisoners have escaped!

Bender: OK. We're boned.

Leela: Not yet we're not! Let's make a break for the ship!

Leela (carrying Fry) and Bender rush down the hallway towards the docking bay where the PE ship is sealed in. Bender is about to take a quick zip of whiskey on the way, but Leela grabs the bottle and smashes it against the floor.

Bender: Hey! What was that for!?

Leela (ignoring him): OK. Let's see what this thing can do!

She presses the button marked "overload" on the spythingy and points it towards the access panel next to the puddle of liquor on the floor. The panel begins to spark violently, igniting the booze and creating a firewall to block their persuers, who immediately break off in fear of their velour uniforms catching fire.

Guard leader: Come on! Let's go after them!

Guard: No way I'm going through that dressed in this. If Zapp wants these guys so bad, then he can go after them himself. I'm gonna go grab a drink...

Guard leader: But..? But...?

Meanwhile, Leela and Bender have finally made their way to the docking bay. The PE ship seems to be untouched and there are only two guards which Leela clobbers up easily.

Leela: Whew, Fry, you're heavy. Maybe I should put you down for a minute while I see if I can access the codes for these bay doors.

She puts the still woozy Fry down on the floor next to an access console and begins fiddling with the controls...

Bender: Yeah, Fry, you really need to lose some weight.

Bender proceeds to loot the two guards and grab Fry's wallet while he's at it.

Leela (cursing): Dammit! The security is too tight! I can't get to the codes!

Bender: Over there's something else that got here though (He points to a door at the other side of the hangar which is pouring in armed crewmen)

Leela: Keep them busy while I try this some more, Bender!

Bender: Hey! I'm not putting my life on the life for you two! What do I look like, a kamikazebot? (He grabs a beer from his compartment).

A laser shot streaks through the air and shatters the bottle in his hand.

Bender: WHAT THE!? That's it...

Bender grabs the two rifles from the knocked out guards and holds them in both hands, Rambo style.

Bender: Eat this, you beer hating scum!!!

Bender unleashes a flurry of laser beams from the two rifles, causing the Nimbus crewmen to duck behind the various consoles in the docking bay.

Bender: Take this! And this! And that! And some of this!

Leela is still busy tampering with the console when suddenly a shock grenade lands on the floor beside her. Her reflexes instantly causes her to roll away to cover behind some crates, then she notices that Fry is still laying next the console!

Leela (panicking): FRY!

A blinding light engulfs the immediate area as the grenade explodes! The shockwave sends Bender to the floor and Fry flying. Leela catches him as he is hurtled towards her, he is not moving.

Leela: Fry. FRY!? Wake up! Please!!

Bender (gets up): What the hell was that... Fry? Is he alive?

Leela (barely suppressing her sobbing): I... I... think so... He's still breathing.. but barely...

Bender: Let's get him into the medbay, Leela. He can't die on me now, he still owes me $50.

Leela and Bender make a break for the PE ship while the crewmen continue to fire beams at them. Bender takes a hit, but being a robot allows him to keep going long enough to get into the ship. With them all inside, Bender seals the door with a chair under the doorknob and Leela drops off Fry in the medbay, then bolts towards the bridge.

Leela (entering the bridge with Bender right behind her): We gotta get out of here! Bender, take the weapon controls!

Bender: Aye aye, Captain.

Leela (sits down in the pilot seat): OK, if the doors won't listen to guile, let's see what they say about force. Fire all torpedoes!

Bender (making a salute): Firing all torpedoes! (He presses four buttons, turns the crank under the console around for four times then dials the number 4 on the phone)


CUT TO: Inside the Nimbus, docking bay 12

The PE ship lifts off the floor, retracting the stairs and landing gear and then turns to face the double-steel gates. The crewmen of the Nimbus understand what is about to happen and rush out of the bay in fear of the decompression.

Four torpedoes are fired from the forward hatches, and with a huge explosion, blasting a hole through the double-steel gates. The bay quickly decompresses and the PE ship is shot out of the bay like a watermelon seed.


CUT TO: Outside the Nimbus.

The PE ship blasts off away from the Nimbus, with several fighters right on its tail. Leela's skillful piloting allows the PE ship to avoid them for a while, but soon the number of fighters becomes too many and they are surrounded.


CUT TO: Inside the PE ship, bridge.

Leela: *sigh* There's just too many of them. I cannot outmanoeuvre them all. Bender! Are you even listening to me?

Bender: Wha-? I was just going though some stuff...

Leela: Yeah, I bet you are. Let me see that! (she gets up)

Leela looks over the stuff that Bender had looted off the two guards and spots something interesting. A folder entitled "Emergency Evidence". She opens and looks through it.

Leela (getting a surprised look): What the? Ewwww... (she drops the folder, looking ready to puke)

Bender (getting curious): What? What is it? (he picks up the folder and looks through it himself)

Bender: Ooh... your... god! That's the most disgusting this I've ever seen!

Leela regains her composure and grabs the folder from Bender

Leela (decisively): I know exactly how to use this. (She walks over the the comms station and Zapp's face comes into view as she presses a button)

Zapp (through the comm.): Well, well, it seems you have gotten yourself into not just a little bit of trouble. I'm afraid that this time there will be no room for pitiful ideas of mercy.

Leela: Let us go, Zapp. Right now.

Zapp: Really? And why should I do that?

Leela: Or I broadcast this right now on every channel known to man (she holds up a picture of Zapp dressed only in panties, making a pose).

Zapp (horrified): How did you......? I demand to know how you got that!

Leela (losing patience): Let us go.... now!

Zapp: ........ ....... .......

Leela: My button finger is getting itchy....

Zapp (to someone off the screen): .....call back the fighters...

Voice (OS in the monitor): Sir?...

Zapp: (to the same someone as before): ...you heard me....

Voice (still OS in the monitor): Yes, Sir.

A brief external shot shows that all the fighters are breaking off and heading back towards the Nimbus.

Zapp (slowly): So... what are you going to do with those...?

Leela (evil smile): I'll think of something (She closes the channel)

Bender (putting up his feet on a console): Hehe. Yep! Everything worked out fine, thanks to 'ol Bender. Even Fry wouldn't be here if it hadn't....

Leela (reality strikes): Oh no! I forgot all about Fry! (She bolts out of the bridge)

Bender: Hey! I was talking in here!...*sigh* I get no appreciation anymore... (he chugs down another beer before going after Leela to the medbay)


CUT TO: Inside the PE ship, medbay.

Leela rushes in through the door to the awaiting Fry on the operation table.

Leela: Fry!? Are you still alive?

She gets no response and takes Fry's pulse. It is slowing down at an alarming rate and Leela almost panics.

Leela (a tear is forming in her eye): Fry! You can't die one me! Not now!

Bender (walking in): Hey. How is he holding up?

Leela (sobbing silently): He's slipping away from us.... and I don't have a clue how to save him...

Bender (shrugging his shoulders): Maybe if you asked him nicely, he would come back?

Leela (getting an idea): That just might work!

Bender: Say what?

Leela (turning towards Bender): We're out of tranquilizers, so I guess that only leaves one way...

Bender (puzzled): What ARE you talking about!?

Leela: Hit me hard in the head Bender.

Bender (even more puzzled): Come again!?!?

Leela: I know it's a long shot, but still...

Bender: What is a long shot? What is going on with you two!?

Leela (trying to contain her tears): Bender... just do it, OK?

Bender (shrugs his shoulders): You're the captain...

He grabs a sack of swag from his compartment and whangs it hard on Leela's head. She goes out like a light.

Bender (looking down on Leela): There! Happy?


CUT TO: Dream sequence, darkness

Leela "awakens" to the familiar dark abyss she had visited so many times by now. This time, however, she would have to be the one to lead the other through memory lane. She hadn't thought it though much, probably because she wanted to save Fry before it was too late, and so she acted on instinct more than reason for once.

The darkness was empty. Was she too late? Had Fry already....passed away? As these thoughts rushed through her head, sorrow was beginning to take over.

Leela (tears running down her face): Fry? Fry!? Can you hear me? Please answer me Fry!!

As she spoke, the words, the image of Fry appeared. He seemed to hover in mid-air (or something since there was no "floor" but you get the picture) and his image flickered constantly.

Leela (relieved): Fry... I'm here....

Fry (weakly): Uh... Leela?

Leela: Yes, I'm here, Fry...

Fry (looks at her face): You... have been crying.... why?

Leela: An explosion hit you while we were fleeing Zapp's ship. We are safe now, but you are lying unconscious in the ship.

Fry (pausing): Am I.... dying...?

Leela: I... I don't know....

Fry (lets out a heavy sigh): I guess it was only a matter of.... time...

Leela: But it's not your time yet, Fry! You have to fight to return to us!

Fry (his voice becoming distant): Fight.... fight why...? Why would I want to....live...?

Leela (cannot contain her tears): Because we need you.... I need you...

Fry (His voice is becoming even weaker and his image flickers heavily): You... need... me...? Why?... I'm just... a... friend.

Leela: But friends don't abandon each other like this.... and.... and....

Fry (his voice barely audible now and his image almost gone): .....and.....?


CUT TO: Medbay

Bender watches his two friends and notices on the monitor that Fry has almost flatlined.


CUT TO: Previous shot

Leela: ...I... love you.

As she pronounces the magic words Fry had been waiting to hear her say ever since the day they first met, his image seemed to regain some form and his voice becomes clearer.

Fry: You... do??

Leela (quietly): Yes, Fry... I do love you, and I guess in a way I always have...

Fry (his image becomes almost solid and his voice is back to normal): But why did you..? How come you never...?

Leela: .... I... I guess I thought I could always tell you later... And I was about to several times but.... (she looks away)

Fry drops out of him floating position and falls to the "ground", regaining his footing. He walks up to Leela, who is just standing there with her head down.

Fry (tears forming in his eyes): Leela... Do you have any idea how happy I am to just hear you say that!?

Leela (looks up at him, her eye is tearshot as well): So... you're gonna try to come back to us..?

Fry (crying from happiness): Oh, Leela (he holds her tight) ... How could I not want to live after the wonderful news you have just given me!?


CUT TO: Medbay

Bender sighs and shakes his head a little. He is about to leave, when the monitor begins beeping again. Turning towards it, he notices that Fry's pulse is regaining momentum. He looks quizzically at Leela who is still knocked out on the floor.

Bender (watching the monitor): How....? (turns to Leela) Did you do that...?


CUT TO: Previous shot

Leela: Oh, Fry! (She just holds him close to her, tears of happiness are running through her face)

Fry: Oh, Leela.... (oh, mushy mushy )


CUT TO: Inside the PE ship, medbay - 10 minutes later.

Fry wakes up from his near death experience to a truly puzzled looking Bender. Leela is lying on the floor beside him.

Fry (still a bit woozy): Bender..? Uh... Are we on the ship now?

Bender (still puzzled): Fry... you're alive... how come...? We thought you were a goner for sure!

Fry (rubs his head): I guess I would've been if it hadn't been for the fact that something wonderful happened. (he looks dreamy)

Bender: Oh, Fry! (He hugs him, and grabs some loose change in his back pocket)

Leela begins to twitch on the floor to begin with and then she too wakes up.

Leela: Uuuuhhh. Remind me to never do that again...

Fry: Leela! (He notices a large bump on her head) What happened to you: your head?

Leela's mind: We didn't have any tranquilizers left.

Fry's mind: Huh......? Oh...! I see.


CUT TO: Space

The PE ship blasts off through the vacuum of space, heading back towards Earth.


CUT TO: PE ship bridge

Leela gets up from the pilot seat.

Leela: Well, I've ordered the autopilot to take us straight back to Earth. It's gonna take some time, though, eight more hours at least.

Fry: Mmmm...

Leela: What is it, Fry?

Fry: I was just thinking about something.

Leela: No you weren't.

Fry: .... Right....

Leela: .... I'm going to get some sleep. See you later.

Fry: See ya...

Bender: And I'm gonna get some serious reading done... not to mention preparing a new batch of hooch... (he walks out, leaving Fry alone.

Fry (sighs): Ah, I guess it was too good to be true. Leela loving a bum like me... But still.... Oh well... (he gets up and leaves the bridge, too)

As he walks through the main hallway, he spots Leela leaning towards on of the walls.

Fry: Hey, Leela. Weren't you going to go to bed?

Leela: Yes, but I wanted to talk to you first.

Fry: We can talk all the time, Leela. Remember the mind thingy?

Leela: Yes, I know, but it's not quite the same.

Fry (after a short pause): Look, Leela, I understand that you only said those things in the dream just to convince me to come back and all but--- (Leela just bolts up from her position and locks him in a deep kiss before he can finish).

Fry (startled): Hm!!!? (he closes his eyes and relax) Mmmmmmm...

After a long moment, they silently break the kiss.

Fry (smiles childishly): Sooo... It was for real then...?

Leela smiles back and nods. They lock themselves in another deep kiss and stumble into Leela's quarters with their arms wrapped around each other...

Leela's mind: I really DO love you, Fry.

Fry's mind: I know. I love you, too, and I always have.


CUT TO: Inside the Black ship

Several shadowy men are crammed in a small room with several view screens mounted into one of the walls.

Shady man 1: O yeah! Work that Lady! Woooo

Shady man 2: Lesse some of that.... OOOOhhh! Oh, man!

Shady man 3: This is better than cable!

Shady man 4: I wonder what the robot is doing?

All the others turn and give him a strange look.

Shady man 4: Uh... I mean... Look at THOSE!

Shady man 1, 2 and 3 (looking at the screens again): OOOOOH!


CUT TO: Inside the PE ship, Leela's quarters - Some time later (Yes, we missed it... )

Fry is lying naked in Leela's bed. Leela has fallen asleep with her head on his chest. Fry moves his left hand through her hair which she let loose before. A big grin has formed on his face, and no matter how much he tries to hide it, it simply won't go away.

He gives her a small kiss on the head, switches off the lights and falls asleep a few moments later.


CUT TO: Dream sequence, darkness.

Fry's form materializes to find Leela sitting a few meters away from him. The darkness is filled with tiny dots of shining light, making it look exactly like they were floating in space.

Leela is just sitting there, looking out towards the stars, her mind spacing out completely. Fry walks up to her.

Fry: Hi.

Leela: Hi.

Fry (after a short pause): I like what you've done to the place.

Leela (giggles): Yeah, I thought the absolute blackness could use a little life.

Fry sits down next to her, and put his arm around her waist. Leela slowly leans toward him as Fry just sits there, staring into the void.

Fry: It's taken more than 2 years... How I've longed for this moment.

Leela (silently): Yeah. Me too. I thought I'd never meet the one...

Fry: And then you found out he had been there all along?

Leela (smiles): Yeah...

They just sit there with their arms around each other, the stars around them pulsating silently. Fry and Leela never felt so happy to be alive.


CUT TO: Inside the PE ship, Leela's quarters - Eight hours later.

Leela and Fry are sleeping peacefully, when their bliss is interrupted by the voice of the autopilot.

Autopilot (intercom): Attention! Destination achieved. Please return to manual control for landing procedures.

Leela slowly opens her eye.

Leela (sleepy): *yawn* Hm? Oh, right. He won't do any landing since I scolded him for goofing off with Bender before.

Autopilot (intercom): Which I might add was totally his fault...

Leela: You are supposed to be responsible for everyone on this ship when I'm not at the wheel, I will not tolerate any goofing off.

Autopilot: Whatever...

Fry awakens from the sound of the discussion.

Fry (sleepy): *yawn* What up?

Leela: *Sigh* I have to go and land the ship, Fry; we have arrived.

Fry: Already?

Leela: Well, have have been out for the entire journey so...

Fry (witty): Gee, times really does fly when you're having fun.

Leela (smiling): Oh, really? You thought it was fun?

Fry: Well, yeah. Sure, (seductively) why wouldn't it be?

Leela (giggles): Oh, Fry, you little rascal...

They begin to tickle each other and roll around in the bed.

*ooh* * giggle* *haha* *hihi* *Aah!*

Autopilot: Oh, geez…

*hahaha* *ohoho* *hihi stop it* *argh, im coming for ya!* *giggle*

Autopilot: *COUGH*

Both Fry and Leela stop and looks up at the intercom.

Autopilot: I you two can keep your hands off each other for 5 minutes, I believe I told you that we have reached Earth and are about to land.

Leela (disappointed): *sigh* Spoilsport...

Fry (seductively): There's always later...

Leela (getting up): Yeah. I guess we should get to work.

Leela and Fry get up from the bed, pick up their clothes (which are scattered all over the floor) and get dressed.


CUT TO: CGI of the PE ship.

The PE ship blasts off towards Earth, and we see it fly through the atmosphere and approach the PE building. Leela requests permission to land, and the roof doors of the hangar opens. The ship makes a perfect landing and the doors close again.

Inside the hangar the rest of the gang is waiting at the ship exit as our friends walk down.

Leela: Hi everyone! Did you miss us?

Prof: Wonderful! You have returned.

Fry: You really missed us that much?

Hermes: No, not really. But we received a report dat you had been captured and executed and de professor was worried dat he had to fill in de requisition forms to get de ship back. (he points to a mountain of stacked papers in the corner).

Fry: Oh.

Amy: Hi, Leela, welcome back.

Leela: Amy? I though you were supposed to be studying this week at Mars U?

Amy: Yeah, but I convinced (wink) my teacher that I would benefit more by staying here at Planet Express for a while.

Leela (rolls eye): Of course...

Amy: Anyway. It does seem like I had good timing though, the ship looks really messed up. What did you do to it this time?

Leela (counting on her fingers): Let's see... There was Bender's drinking competition with the autopilot, the alien attack ship, the asteroid field, the missiles, the Nimbus' fighter squadrons...

Amy: OK, OK, I get the idea...

Leela (walking away with the others): Oh, and the afterburner got wasted after the missile impact, so you better take a look at that, too...

Amy (muttering something in Martian): Right....


CUT TO: Hermes' office - some time later.

Fry, Leela and Bender are standing in front of Hermes' desk.

Hermes: So.. dat's what happened?

Leela: That's about it.

Hermes: What about de Nimbus? Why did dey let you go?

Leela: Bender... ah... acquired... something we used for bargaining.

Hermes: Which was...?

Leela hands him the folder, Hermes looks inside.

Hermes (face turning green): Oh.. ugh.. Sweet sticks of Limboland... It's absolutely nauseating, mon'. I can understand why captain Brannigan would want to bargain with you.

Leela: .....

Hermes: *blurp* I think I need to... um... go somewhere... dismissed.


CUT TO: PE building, TV room.

Fry, Leela and Bender walk in.

Fry: What was that all about?

Leela: Believe me, Fry, you don't want to know.

Bender: Yeah. Even I got sick watching those pictures. I can't wait to post them on the internet, hehe.

Leela: Not this time you don't. We may need those in the future should we have to deal with Zapp again.

Bender: You always ruin the fun parts! Screw this, I'm gonna watch TV. (He sits down and flicks it on)

Linda's familiar face plops up on the screen with a recent news report.

Linda: ...so this means that the New New York television network will once again face the lawsuits of the mind controlled victims.

Morbo: The humans should spend more time trembling in fear of my superior kind than meddle in petty lawsuits.

Linda: *chuckle* In other news, the plot takes a turn for the ending today as millions of critics have already begun swarming the mailbox of the unfortunate man, striving to persuade him to kill the project before sundown. Horrifying turn of events, huh Morbo?

Morbo: Morbo could care less.

Linda: *chuckle*

Bender switches the channel.

Bender: Oh! All my circuits is on again. Amazing timing I got, haven't I?

Leela: I think I'll go and see how Amy is doing with the rapairs on the ship.

Fry (shrugs his shoulders): I think I'll just stay here watch TV. You got an extra beer, Bender?

Bender (taking one out of his compartment): Here you go, buddy.


CUT TO: Hangar

The professor is talking to Amy as Leela approaches.

Prof: ...and I simply must find it! Ooh, vanity...

Leela: What is it, Professor?

Prof: I was just instructing Amy to make a thorough search of the ship for the TTPs. They must be around there somewhere.

Leela: You're sure they're not in the building?

Prof: Impossible! I've already have Zoidberg convinced that they were actually made out of candy, and he still hasn't found them (points to Zoidberg who is frantically searching an old exhaust pipe).

Leela's mind: Fry. Could you ask Bender if he took the TTPs?

Fry's mind: Huh? What's that?

Leela's mind: *sigh* the pills that the professor demonstrated before we left the other day.

Fry's mind: Oh, those. But I saw a spy in the cell inside the Nimbus! I'm convinced that they're involved!

Leela's mind: Fry... just do it.

Fry's mind: Whatever...

Amy: Leela? Are you alright, you seemed to be spacing out just now.

Leela (startled): Huh!? Oh... it's nothing... (she quickly walks away)

Prof: Hmm. If I didn't know Leela better, which I actually don't at all, I'd say she's hiding something...

Amy: Leela? No... I think Bender is the one we should talk to.

Prof: Who?

Amy: Bender. You know, that robot who always steals your inventions.

Prof: Never heard of him...

Amy: [incomprehensible martian muttering]


CUT TO: TV room.

Fry: Bender... Ah... Did you steal the professor's new invention?

Bender: What!? Nooo. I'm ashamed of you, Fry! As soon as something gets stolen, just blame the robot! I cannot believe this outrage.

Fry: OK, OK... sorry.

Bender: By the way, Fry, you still owe me $50.

Fry: I know, I know. It's just that someone took my wallet so I can't pay you yet.

Bender: Don't worry about it, Fry. I'll just loan it to you at a measly 60% interest.

Fry: OK! Thanks, Bender.

Bender: No problem.


CUT TO: PE building conference room - An hour later.

The whole gang, except Zoidberg (who is still searching), are sitting around the table.

Hermes: ... And for those 2 ½ reasons I think dat I should go home early. So, bye (he leaves).

Fry: So... now what? Can the rest of us go home, too?

The doorbell rings.

Prof: Oh my. Can anyone get that?

They all just pretend they don't hear him.

Prof: Very well. If we all....

The doorbell rings again.

Prof: Oh my. Can anyone get that?

The others look at everything else but the professor.

Fry's mind: Should we offer ourselves?

Leela's mind: Nah. Not today.

Prof: I see. Now, onto the business of...

The doorbell rings a third, a fourth and a fifth time in rapid succession.

Prof: Oh my. Who could it be? Can anyone get that?

The others just stare at him.

Prof: Fine! I'll do it myself, then. (he gets up)

Leela's mind: Ugh. About time...

Fry's mind: The old geezer just can't take a hint...

The professor walks up to the door and opens it, a hooded man steps in.

Prof: Yes?

Hood: I come with a message.

Prof: Yes?

Hood: The product you promised us hasn't been delivered. We... urge... you to hasten your progress.

Prof: Oh my...

Hood: That is all... (he leaves)

The professor returns to the table.

Leela: So... who was it?

Prof: Wha-?

Leela: The person outside the door.

Prof: No one! Absolutely no one. Now I have good news! We shall all try to find out who stole my new invention!

Fry: But I thought you said you were convinced you'd misplaced it?

Prof: I didn't say anything about that. Now off you go!

They all get up and start looking around the building.

Leela follows Bender around, as he is looking for possible escape routes. Fry gives the sofa a thorough lookover while he is sitting in it, then turns on the TV. Zoidberg is sniffing around the kitchen sink for something to eat. Amy is looking around inside the ship while filing her nails. The professor stares blankly into space.

After two hours, and this activity still hasn't revealed any thief nor invention, they all gather in the kitchen where Fry is having some coffee.

Prof: Ohh, vanity thy name...

Fry: Aw, don't worry Professor. I'm sure it'll turn up sooner or later.

Leela: I still think that Bender took it.

Bender: Hey! That's what Fry said before! I told him you just blame me because I cleaned out your lockers last week.

Fry: Hey? That's not what you told me at all!

Bender: Oh, I sure did. You and Leela have been acting very weird lately. I bet you are just using me as an excuse because you stole it.

Fry: What!?

Prof: This is very serious indeed. I believe there is only one way to solve this.

Bender: Give Fry a savage beating? I'm way ahead of you... (he begins to walk towards Fry)

Prof (shakes his head): No! We will simply search all of Fry's personal belongings.

Fry: OK, whatever.


CUT TO: Inside the PE building, the laboratory.

Fry is sitting on the lab table, the others have gathered around him.

Prof: Well, it seems as if Fry's locker didn't contain the invention after all...

Fry: Told you...

Prof: ...So we'll just have to search Fry's body itself. (He straps on a rubber glove)

Fry (getting really uncomfortable): Uhh... Professor... You aren't thinking about... that...?

Prof: But of course! What better way is there to search the insides of another human?

Fry (looking for a way out): Uhm.. hehe..ah..

The professor walks up towards the terrified Fry with a devilish smile on his face. He stretches up towards a shelf with an open container, all gooey with some green substance.

Fry covers his eyes as the professor takes the container and puts it down next to him.

Prof: There it is!

Fry (peeking carefully): Huh?

Fry spots the professor pulling out the F-ray from the back of the shelf, the container had obviously been in the way.

Fry (relieved): Phew...

Prof: Now let's see what we can find (he switches it on and points it at Fry)

Prof: Aha! There! There is one of them! (he points at Fry's illuminated brain, it has a small electrical device lodged in the middle)

Bender (taking advantage of the situation): Aha! Fry, how could you?

Fry: It wasn't me, I swear!

Prof: Don't lie to me! I can see right through you!

Leela (interjecting): Ah, Professor. You better use that F-ray on my head, too.

Prof: Wha-? Oh, OK then. (He points it at Leela's head, too, we can plainly see a small device lodged inside her brain as well)

Amy: Smeesh Leela! You have one of those things, too?

Bender: Wait a minute! Does this mean you two can talk to each other without the rest of us hearing it?

Fry and Leela nod.

Bender: Oho... this does explain a lot.

Leela: But Fry is speaking the truth, Professor, we didn't steal the pills. We got them they day you demonstrated them to us.

Zoidberg: But how..?

Leela: Well... it must've gotten into something we ate that day, and as far as I know...

Everybody looks at Bender.

Bender (faking innocence): What?

Leela: It could've happened no other way, since we only ate one single thing that day: the hamster pie!

Fry: What? This can't be true!? Bender...?

Bender: No!... Uhh... It was.... Scruffy... Yeah.... (He bolts out the door).

Prof: After him!

The whole gang chases Bender out of the laboratory.


CUT TO: Outside the PE building - at the end of the day.

Leela and Fry are walking hand in hand, talking about the day's events.

Fry: Man, I couldn't believe Bender actually stole the pills.

Leela: I thought it was pretty obvious. He really didn't want to feel human emotion ever again.

Fry: Well, I for one cannot understand that (looks at Leela longingly)

Leela (smiling and looking back): Indeed. Bender hasn't got a clue what he's missing.

Fry: Do you think Amy will put him back together again?

Leela: I would think so. Amy has a soft spot for every living thing, even Bender; though he isn't technically alive.

Fry: The professor did a really ingenious move when he used the busted microwave to stop Bender, I wonder how he figured that out...

Leela: You know... I actually axed him about that, but he only grinned at me and said he'd seen it in a movie.

They walk together for a while until they arrive at a crossroads.

Leela: Well, this is it. I'm going to go home to get some sleep, you should get over to Bender's apartment as well.

Fry: Ah... Well... I kinda thought that I could...

Leela's mind: ...Follow me home?

Fry's mind: Yeah... something like that.

Fry: I mean... Bender won't be home for a long time and it's kinda boring to watch TV all by myself...

Leela: OK.

Fry: ...So I kinda thought that... What?

Leela: It's OK, Fry. You can sleep in my apartment for the night.

Fry just smiles back and takes Leela's hand as they leave together.


CUT TO: Leela's apartment, 1I, later.

Leela and Fry are entering though the door.

Leela: OK, Fry. You can take the couch and I'll take the bed.

Fry (disappointed): Oh...

Leela: That's not what you had in mind? (she sits down on the couch)

Fry: Ah... no it's OK. (he sits down next to her)

Fry's mind: Damn...

Leela's mind: Oh, really? So it's not OK?

Fry: Uh... I mean

Leela's mind: You just came here to go to bed with me, didn't you?

Fry (face turning red): Uh... I...

Leela's mind: You couldn't stop yourself from picturing yourself together with my hot naked body...

Fry (face red as a cherry): Ah... stop it...

Leela (after a short while, a big grin on her face): Revenge sure is sweet.

Fry (still red but smiling): It was... low of me to embarrass you in public like that...

Leela: Yes, it was.

Fry (shameful): I... I hope you can forgive me...?

Leela (seductively): Hmm, maybe...

She leans over and gives him a small kiss. A few moments pass where they just look at each other, and then they both lock their arms around each other and kiss again, a real frenchie this time.

Fry and Leela slowly move themselves towards the bedroom, each of them not wanting to let go. The door creaks slightly as it shuts behind them.


CUT TO: Leela's apartment, 1I, bedroom - some time later.

Fry and Leela are laying together is post-ecstatic bliss. Her hair has been let loose once more and Fry cannot help but move his fingers through it over and over again, feeling its softness.

Leela is lying on his left arm, looking up at him.

Leela (quietly): I never thought it could even be possible for me to be as happy as I am right now, Fry.

Fry (equally quietly): Yeah, same here. You really are something.

Leela: Fry?

Fry: Mm?

Leela: Do you love me?

Fry: Why do you ask a question you already know the answer to?

Leela: I want to hear you say it.

Fry (quietly): Leela... (pause) I love you.

Leela closes her eye and cuddles in next to Fry. Truly, this would have to be the happiest day of her life.


THE END OF No More Secrets


Wooeee! Its over! It's really over! You can stop crying now, no I mean it. Seriously!

Anyways, this is (as said before) the very first Futurama fanfiction I've ever written, so I could really use some feedback. Though not that nastly kind of "you stink so bad I could puke" kinda feedback. More like the "Oh you are my god!" kinda feedback would be nice.

Truly seriously though (yes serious this time, I mean it), send comments, suggestions, requests for an autograph, praise and constructive criticism to lennie.asserholt@spray.se

Send the random crap and flames to >NUL ... just like before

(OK, the part about autographs wasn't serious, but the rest was )