New Year’s Nightmare
Futurama created by Matt Groening. Developed by
Matt Groening and David X. Choen. Owned by Twentith
Century Fox Film Corporation. Used without
Susan and her parents created by Mitch.
The anti-robot stance of Susan's father does not
represent the opinion of the author.
(Fade-in. Establishing shot, waterfront of New New York, morning. Fry and Bender
are walking to work. We hear the CLANKS and WRRRS of machinery. They pause and
look at something further out the waterfront. The camera pans back to reveal aquatic
cranes, machines with giant claws, and helicopters carrying material for construction.
They are assembling, in record speed, a large, dome-shaped building off the dock.
Cut back to Fry and Bender.)
Fry: Say, Bender, whats goin on?
Bender: (hand to chin) Hmmm. Fry, I think its
(a helicopter carrying a large sign places it on a side of the building facing
the waterfront. It reads Lobster DomeGrand Opening)
Bender: (excited, arms in air) Woo! The Lobster Dome! I heard about this place!
Its a seafood place thats gonna be so fancy and pricey that itll
make Elzars look like a soup kitchen!
(They resume walking to Planet Express)
Fry: Wow! Thats pricey! Too much for me, though. Just as well, since
Leelas been so distant lately
Bender: Why does that bother you? You were never really with her in the first
Fry: (a bit annoyed) Well, its like theres something on her mind
that shes not sharing. Thats just not like her.
Bender: Yeah, she would say whether she was tired of you bugging her. As fer
me, Ive got the woman of my dreams and shes never once tried to change
Fry: Its been months; you havent dumped her yet!
Bender: (pauses) Hey. Yer right. (Beat) Im scared.
(Cut to Planet Express building, day. Cut to interior shot, lounge. Leela is
at the monitor. She dials and her parents, Munda and Morris, appear on the screen
as an insert.)
Leela: (a bit excited) Well, Mom, Dad, this is it! Ill try it tonight.
Morris: Ah, go for it, Leela. You could do a lot worse. I just dont see
why you didnt tell him long ago.
Leela: Well, I didnt really think about it until this year.
Munda: Well, ask him quickly, before he makes other plans.
Leela: I doubt that he will, but okay.
(Cut to conference room, everyone is seated except the Professor, whos
standing. Susan, the pony-tailed fem-bot with a human mind, is also there.)
Professor: I assume everyones excited about our office New Years
Most of the staff: Eh, I guess, maybe
Leela: Oh, yeah. Uh, Professor, Im afraid I cant be here tonight.
sort of have a date.
Fry: (surprised) I didnt know you were seeing someone.
its our first, actually. In fact, I was going to ask
him out tonight.
Professor: Well, in that case, youll have to hurry with todays
Fry: (surprised again) We have a delivery? I thought we were having the day
Professor: Well, this was pretty urgent. In fact, its so urgent; I had
to rent another ship.
Leela: But our usual ship gets us from one end to the universe to here within
Professor: Yes, but youll need to go much faster today. Now, follow me.
(Cut to the engine room, a few hours later. Fry, Leela, and Bender are behind
the Professor, but he went so slowly, they look like they wish they went ahead
Professor: Now, get a buldgy eyefull of
(We pan to see a large ship, similar to the stealth bomber, but with larger
engines and mechanical arms)
Professor: (continuing) The all-purpose Stealth-Mech! I got it on loan from
the DOOP surplus store!
Fry: (in awe) Cool!
Bender: (ditto) Im in lust!
Leela: (doubtful) Isnt it a little bulky to be fast?
Professor: Of course! Thats why the ship is installed with a unit that
decreases its mass so it can go faster!
Leela: I dont see how that
Oh, never mind. I gave up trying to understand
these explanations a long time ago.
Bender: Well, you guys have fun!
Fry: Bender? Youre not going?
Bender: As much as Id love ta risk my life again, Im going ta see
Susans parents to get their approval of me.
(Susan arrives and takes Benders arm)
Susan: Dad has something against my choice of lifestyle, but I think Mr. Tall,
Silver, and Rugged here can win him over.
Fry: Good luck. For me, though, my parents were just glad for me to be with
Leela: Wait, I cant use my date to get out of this, but you can?
Bender: Hey, people know what you two do. Im usually along for the ride
or a paycheck.
Susan: You two have fun. If all goes well, well see our own stars
(She takes Bender away and we hear them giggling)
Leela: Well, I wouldnt want Fry to do this alone, but how different are
the controls from the usual ship?
Professor: Oh, the same except more complicated.
Leela: (whispers, to Fry) And we rescued him from the rest home?
(Cut to establishing-shot of near-Earth space, the Stealth-Mech heads into
the great unknown. Cut to the cockpit, which is so detailed that you would expect
a Neptunian to drive it with all four arms being busy. Leela is seated and is
handling it okay. Fry is holding the cargo.)
Fry: (thinking) Well, at least I can have some time alone with Leela before
her date tonight.
Leela: I have to concentrate on the flying and the Professor said to defend
the package, so I guess youll have to arm yourself and look over it in the
Fry: (thinking) Rats. (Aloud) What is the package anyway?
Leela: I dont know. The Professors gone back to being mysterious
about what were delivering. He said that we were more careful back in our
first year, when we didnt know what was in the package.
Fry: Gotcha! Ill defend it with my life!
Leela: Okay. I just want to get done in time for my date. I dont see
why we couldnt wait a day or so to deliver this, though.
Fry: Maybe its perishable
Leela: Fry, not all of our missions are that dangerous and theres no
reason this one will put us in harms way.
(Cut to exterior of Stealth-Mech. The ship passes a signpost reading Welcome
to the Agony Zone.)
(Cut to establishing shots of Earth, New New York, and finally, a little red
house made mainly of modest plastics. Bender and Susan approach the door)
Bender: Pretty old fashioned. I guess your parents arent rich, huh.
Susan: They make do. I always thought they should invest in artificial metals,
(Bender knocks on the door. A stout man with little hair, a t-shirt and jeans,
and a stern face answers the door)
Man: Honey! One of those
things is at the door!
(Hes handed a broom and whacks it on Bender)
Susan: Dad! Stop! Its my new boyfriend!
Man: (still whacking) This guy? Oh, Susan
Bender: Uh, you can stop now.
(A woman with a small frame, messy blond hair, a red vest and skirt, and a
somewhat dazed look appears behind Susans dad)
Woman: (Brooklyn accent) Marty? Are the owls gone?
Marty: No Meg, its that
guy Susans dating.
Meg: Oh, let him come in! We have biscuits.
Bender: Got LoBrau?
Meg: Heavens no! Those ads with the women in bikinis that werent
even legal in the 2980s? That just isnt right! We do have a good supply
of W. Bush, though.
(Cut to the Stealth-Mech flying through the Agony Zone)
Leela: (to herself) Hmmm. This is a surprisingly uneventful place. I wonder
this trip going to go without a hitch for once? That would be great, especially
considering my plans for the evening. (She looks at her wristband and checks the
time) Its going to be a perfect night after all.
(Cut to the cargo bay. Fry, armed with a neutrino-rifle, is pacing back and
forth like a sentry)
Fry: (to himself) I was looking forward to having a minute with Leela at the
party tonight. Oh, well; story of my life. Funny, shes never gotten out
of a company party with a date before. She seems really determined about this
one, so Ill just stay out of her way when we get home. Maybe Ill just
do a good job guarding the package and she could at least compliment me. I guess
Benders the lucky one, hes found the love of his life and its
going without a hitch.
(Cut to the modest, mid-2900s furnished dining room of Susans family.
Everyone is sitting down and having dinner. Susans mother looks happy, Susan
looks a little uncomfortable, Bender looks really uncomfortable, as Susans
dad keeps giving him nasty looks.)
Meg: So, Mr. Rodreguiz, what do you do for a living?
Bender: Well, I get paychecks from a delivery company I sort of hang out at.
Then, theres my computer dating service. I was an Ultimate Robot Fighter,
the agent of Turanga Leela when she was in the Mets, the winner of an Iron Cook
tournament, the Pharaoh of a planet once
and I think theres some more.
Did I mention I toured with Beck?
Dad: I hear a lot of past tense here. What have you done lately?
Bender: Well, Ive been seeing your daughter. You hafta be proud. Shes
rude, vain, has a criminal record, and has got great servos
Marty: (interrupts) Look, you will not talk about our daughter that way
though I have no idea what youre getting at
Susan: Dad, thats his way of complimenting me! Look, can you put your
prejudices aside for tonight? (Whispers to Bender) Hes been like this since
Moms Friendly Robot Company made robots sentient. Now, he wont trust
a shower nozzle. Its one of the reasons I got my own place.
Meg: Honey, I dont see why youre being so rude to Bender.
Marty: Its because hes a criminal and a robot!
Meg: What? (Puts on glasses) Oh, my! He is a robot! I thought he was wearing
a helmet and steel jacket! (Pauses) You know, you two look cute together.
Bender: (whispers to Susan) And whats with her?
Susan: Nothing, shes just optimistic and absent-minded.
(Cut to the Agony Zone. The Stealth-Mech flies through giant, golden rings
and strange miniature stars. Cut to Leela and Fry in the cockpit)
Leela: Wow. And I thought wed seen everything.
Fry: So, where are we goin?
Leela: I think its called the Continuum Checkpoint. It should
be around this bend
(Cut to exterior shot as the Stealth-Mech comes across a giant, golden, office
building. There is a custodian at the door, with gray clothes and golden skin.
His hat covers most of his face)
Custodian: Ah! Good, the Stealth-Mech with Planet Express Captain Leela
Leela: (on intercom) How did you know our names?
Custodian: We have ways. Just drop the package here.
(The bottom of the ship open up and a crane from the inside lowers the crate
in front of the custodian)
Custodian: Good. We paid in advance. Theres no need for you two to come
out. You couldnt survive in this environment anyway.
Leela: (on intercom) Then, how did you survive?
Custodian: We have ways.
Fry: What is the package, anyway?
Custodian: Im not permitted to say. You two have a good journey to Earth.
Fry: (on intercom) Okay!
(The Stealth-Mech flies off, while another custodian arrives)
Custodian2: So, the future scripts have arrived?
Custodian1: Shhh! They mustnt know that is what actually builds the universe!
(Cut to Leela at the Stealth-Mechs helm. Shes happy, almost giddy.
Fry is at her side.)
Leela: We did it. We had a delivery without a hitch! If we hurry, I can make
it to my date on time!
Fry: (trying to hide his disappointment) Um, okay. Uh, is there anything I
can do? Maybe put my socks in the engine and make us go faster?
Leela: Sorry, I already tried mine. But
I guess you could help me with
the controls. Theyre not too different than our usual ship, so you could
Fry: (a little surprised at Leelas trust) Hmmm? Okay.
(He sits down and works at the controls, occasionally glancing at Leela)
Fry: (thinking) I dont know why she doesnt call this guy if she
expects to be late. Well, at least Im finally spending some time with her
this evening. I just wish we could talk or something. I wonder how the others
are doing at the party?
(Cut to Farnsworths living room. Zoidberg is running around in frenzy
with a scared look in his eyes. Hermes, Amy, and the Professor are cowering in
Hermes: (accusatory, to Amy) It wouldnt hurt, you said. He
just needs to loosen up, you said. Drink this, Zoidberg, you
Amy: (defensive) Hey! My uncles special rum always calmed my parents
down! I assumed it had the same effect on Crustaceans.
(While were on Earth, lets cut to an alley near Times Square, where
Bender and Susan are making out)
Bender: (breaking the kiss) Wow! I havent been kissed like that since
that time with Amys car battery!
Susan: Bender, theres something I always wanted to do, but it was something
too dangerous for my human body and too crazy to even mention. But I can do it
now, and I want to share it with you!
Bender: Were going to steal Donald Trump from the Head Museum and hold
him for ransom?
Susan: (confused) Uh, no. Actually, I was thinking about this
in Benders ear)
Bender: Wow. That is crazy! Ill do it twice if you want.
(Cut to outer space, with the Stealth-Mech cruising through space. Cut to the
bridge with Fry and Leela at the controls. Theyre both busy since there
are so many buttons to push)
Leela: (thinking) Frys been so quiet. But then, so have I. (To Fry) Fry,
Im sorry Ive been so distant lately. Ive been thinking a lot
Fry: What about?
Leela: Well, I guess time in a robot body opened my eye some. Im in a
dangerous profession and not living up to whatever life I have right now. I should
really, well, be human. And Im getting tired of being alone.
Fry: It that what tonights date is about?
Leela: Pretty much. Its a bit of a chance, though. But its a calculated
Fry: But I dont see why we havent met this guy.
Leela: Actually, Im planning to surprise him tonight. I just hope we
can make the reservations and the ball drop.
Fry: The ball drop?
Leela: Yeah. I always wanted to see it with someone. I used to go to Times
Square just to be in a crowd of people, but I felt so empty that I gave up and
started watching it at home.
Fry: (pause) So did I. Well, I saw it with Michelle once. Actually, we were
both sort of distracted: her with her college professor and me with the hot dog
she had me hold for her.
Leela: (pause, a little surprised at him) Well, I really want to do this, although
those plans may not be the most romantic thing in the world
or the most private,
but Im not aiming for coffee tonight.
(Suddenly, they feel something hit the ship! Fry checks the window and Leela
checks the radar)
Leela: I think were under attack! But nothings on the radar! (Realizes)
But we shouldnt be on their radar either!
(Cut to outside the Stealth-Mech. We pan to the left and see a fleet of stealth-mechs
with the space pirate emblem painted on each of them. They fire SFX missiles on
the ship Leela and Fry are on, creating SFX explosions)
(Cut back to the cockpit, where Fry turns to Leela)
Fry: Leela, this ship was surplus, right? Does the DOOP worry about criminal
records of which they sell stuff to?
Leela: Well, usually theyre pretty lenient about it
reaction shot of horrified face) oh no!
(Leela tries to control the ship while Fry keeps bouncing around the cockpit.
Cut to outside, as the fleet fires and wreaks the engine in an explosive SFX.
Their ship is now dropping fast. Cut back to Leela at the helm. Her view screen
cackles with SFX and we see an insert of the space pirate leader, a purple humanoid
with five eyes and a red military uniform)
Pirate: (on screen) Planet Express crew! You have in your possession a piece
of cargo most valuable! Youre ship is out of control and will crash into
whatever your present course was set for! Surrender and we will spare you with
only the use of our grappler arms!
Leela: Actually, we dont have it anymore! You got us on our way back!
You should have scanners to detect it here!
Pirate: Oh. Well, I guess youre expendable, then. Bye!
(Static SFX on the screen as it goes off. Cut to space as we see the pirate
fleet fly off. Cut back to Fry and Leela, reaction shot of them both on the verge
this has nothing to do with me messing up, huh?
Leela: (sighs) No, not at all. Fry, if we keep on our present course, well
hit New New York. But if I direct just enough power to whats left of the
engines, well hit Liberty Harbor. We wont survive, but at least well
save the city.
Fry: Okay. I just wish we werent saving the city from ourselves.
(Leela turns the wheel and pulls a lever. Cut to outside, where the Stealth-Mech
turns to the right some. Cut back to the inside. They both look dejected.)
Leela: (gets up) Ill
go work out a bit. Let me know when its
Fry: (small smile) Okay, Captain. (To self) Well, I always did want to make
my mark on the world. (Cut to a gym, a bit smaller than the one on the usual ship,
as Fry enters, we pan out to see Leela roughly punching and kicking a punching
bag. She looks very angry and sad at once)
Leela: (between kicks) Why? Why? WHY???
(The last kick tears the bag open and the sand pours out of it. She stands
there panting, but she also looks like she may start to cry. Then, she feels as
if shes being watched. She turns around and sees Fry.)
Leela: (embarrassed) Oh. Um, hi. Sorry that you saw that.
Fry: Actually, Im a little turned on.
Leela: (sigh) Id get mad if I wasnt so upset already. Are we crashing
yet? It seems too soon
Fry: Actually, I was just worried about you. Im sorry about your ruined
Leela: (calmer, but sad) Fry, I
was really looking forward to this evening.
Fry: Well, we were just doing our job and its not your fault the Professor
wanted a delivery today.
Leela: But it is my fault that I
Fry, lets sit
(They do. Leela looks a little defensive while Fry looks worried and curious)
Fry: Um, youre sweating
Leela: (looks at herself) Yeah. I guess I should shower, I saw one on our way
in. In fact, I guess we could both shower. Might as well die clean.
Leela: Separate showers! Theres one in the mens room as well! Meet
me in the cockpit afterwards. And, now this is an order, dont feel sorry
for yourself. If anyone is to be blamed for anything tonight, its me.
(She leaves. Reaction shot of Frys confused face)
Fry: (calls to her) Wow! I think I just lost my role in the scheme of things
(Cut to some later time in the cockpit. Leela and Fry walk in wearing towels.)
Leela: Itll be so soon until we crash, I cant believe we wont
have time to dress for it!
Fry: I dont mind.
Leela: You wouldnt. Well, at least well match when they find our
Fry: I wouldnt say that. Er, I mean, you were always in better shape
Leela: Er, thanks. Fry, about this evening
(Leela picks up her right boot and reaches into it. She pulls out a small card.
Fry takes it and looks at it. It reads: Lobster DomeGrand OpeningReservations
for 10pm, Dec. 31st)
Fry: Lobster Dome. Bender told me about that place. Isnt it kind of expensive?
Leela: Yeah, but I thought we could split the price. I
wanted a good first
impression, at least to show him that I wanted to try to be serious about it.
Fry: Wow. Well, he would have liked it, I bet. Im
sorry. I really
dont know what to
(Fry then sees Leela holding the other reservation card from her left boot.
Fry looks at his again. At a closer glance, he reads in smaller print: Reserved
for Fry, Philip J.)
Fry: (shocked speechless, regains some composure) Did Bender slip me a Vert
feather or somethin? I told him I wouldnt take those things
Leela: Fry, this is real. I
was going to surprise you.
Fry: But, I
Leela: Ive been thinking about us lately, and, well, I still wish youd
act youre age, but Im not always the best example of maturity either.
And, neither of us has done any better in love, and Im supposed to have
high standards. I admit, Im kind of scared, but I decided to try it.
Fry: You mean
Leela: (smiles slightly) Dont give your hopes up; I was only expecting
to see the ball drop in Times Square.
Fry: (smiles a little) Theres no one else Id rather see it with
Leela: (also smiles a little) Yeah. (Now getting upset) I
I should have
said something, Fry, anything. To you, to the Professor to give us at least tonight
off. Or maybe I could have left you on Earth for this delivery; no sense in both
of us crashing
Fry: Leela, I wouldnt want you to go a mission alone either, especially
if it looked like we werent coming back. Lets
enjoy the time we have left, okay.
Leela: (on the verge of tears, but finally smiling) Okay.
(They hold hands, look at each other, and look at the window into space, trying
to enjoy the view one last time.)
Fry: Theyll miss us, you know. Even Bender will miss us.
Leela: Yeah. I always thought hed go down with us. He did help us several
times and Susan sort of brought us together.
Fry: Yeah, I thought wed go down like the Three Musketeers.
Leela: Fry! The strongest Musketeer was crushed to death and a cannonball killed
Fry: Oh! Which one am I, again?
Leela: (switching on monitor) Forget it. I just wish the communications were
working so we could say goodbye to our families and co-workers. But we can see
this years New Years Rockin Eve. (Smiles) Fry, would
you like to watch the ball drop with me?
Fry: (smiling) Id love to, Leela.
(They look at an insert of Times Square. The ball is lit up with SFX and ready
to drop, but there are two figures on top of it! A close-up reveals that its
Bender and Susan! They wave to the cameras and then begin to make-out. Cut back
to Fry and Leela, looking shocked at the screen. They quickly calm down, look
at each other, and shrug.)
Crowd: (on screen) Ten!
(Leela and Fry embrace)
Nine! Eight! Seven!
(They look in each other's eyes for a moment)
Six! Five! Four!
(Their lips get closer
(Theyre about to kiss
(Suddenly, the camera moves back from the close-up of their lips to a medium
shot with Fry jerking his head back and his eyes wide open!)
Leela: (confused) What?
(Cut to Times Square as the ball finishes its decent with Bender and
Susan still occupied with each other)
Crowd: Happy New Year! Yay!!!
(Smitty and URL, the human and robot peace officers, arrive to the ball and
handcuff Bender and Susan; the two robot lovers dont mind. Then, the four
of them notice something in the sky. Its the Stealth-Mech crashing through
the atmosphere and splashing into the coast and exploding with a loud ROAR and
a gigantic SFX explosion!)
(Cut to the ocean surface. All is quiet. Suddenly, bubbles are seen. Leela
and Fry surface, wearing orange life jackets. Leelas lipstick is washed
Leela: (gasps) Maybe the ship has water safety equipment? Fry,
youre a genus!
Fry: (surprised at her comment) You sure youre okay?
Leela: (sweetly) Never better
Leela: (notices that Fry is looking at her strangely) What?
Fry: Ive never seen you without lipstick before; (smiles) I like it!
(They shred water for a while and look into each others eyes. They get
closer to each other and
SPX of spotlights are shown on them. They turn around
and the camera pans out to see the lights coming from the seafood restaurant.
Two familiar figures are on the plank walk, Theo and Inez Wong)
Theo: Hey! Amys weirdo friends! You midnight swimming and shooting firecrackers
Inez: You skinny-dipping? Even Amy outgrew that!
Leela: (surprised) Amys parents?
Fry: What are you doing here?
Inez: We bought this place this afternoon.
Theo: You two have a reservation or something?
Leela: Actually, yes. But its far too late.
Theo: Oh, we let you in.
Inez: Business bad tonight since robots make kisseyface on ball. Customers
rather see that.
(Leela and Fry turn to each other, smiling)
Leela: Our friends helped us after all.
(They get closer and finally kiss)
(Montage of pictures of Fry and Leela being rescued, a waterlogged Fry and
Leela wearing blankets having dinner, a shocked Fry and Leela looking at their
bill [the prices were inflated after the Wongs bought the place], Fry and Leela
leaving without Frys water gear, Bender and Susan making sparks
in a jail cell while Fry and Leela point them out to the officers to bail them
out, Fry and Leela both in water barrels with a happy Bender and Susan facing
us [Leela lent her water safety gear for bail money and Bender got barrels for
them], and our heroes back at Planet Express posing for a disheveled but happy
picture while their friends are passed out everywhere behind them)
Fry: (voiceover) In retrospect, it really was a special night. Leela and I
did get some quality time together, which is all I wanted that day. We were both
broke for a while, so dating was out of the question for a few months. We were
both happy for Bender and Susan. They didnt give us much trouble for a while
after that. I guess that was their way of paying us back. In fact, considering
all the trouble we tend to constantly be in, I guess I would call it the best
night of our lives
except that was to come in a few months