Futurama

Fan Fiction

Mom's Friendly Slaves
By Chris Wilson

NOTE: This and every single fan fiction I produce is set AFTER 4ACV18: The Devil's Hands Are Idle Playthings. If you have any questions about anything, e-mail me at the same address below. If you want to give further feedback or ask any questions then e-mail me at thecommiebastard@hotmail.com. I am going to be fairly interested in the rating of this episode compared to 5ACV01. Happy reading y'all!


ACT ONE

[Opening Credits.]

[Caption: Nitrogen and buttocks, what a combination! Cartoon: Homer Simpson falling down the stairs in the episode - 'Crepes of Wrath'.]

[Scene: Planet Express Lounge. Bender and Fry are sat on the couch drinking beers. They are, as always, watching television. On the television screen, action music plays as silent clips of Linda and Morbo at their news station are shown. Clips such as Linda leaning forward dramatically to read the news, Morbo slamming his fist on the desk and the duo leaping out of their before a shot of a totally unrelated clip of an explosion are shown. Then it cuts to a title screen of: 'Newsroom Uncut!' The screen cuts to Bender having a drink of beer before it goes back to the television. On the television now is Morbo sat on a chair with a pitch black background behind him.]

Morbo: [On TV] Morbo's threats towards many people were just empty threats… You know from day one Morbo have been worried that Morbo won't be remembered when Morbo gets demoted to doing the weather. So Morbo kept on threatening people. The threats keep on being produced. Does Morbo regret it? Go on, ask Morbo's mansion and Morbo's pay check and prepare for annihilation!

Narrator: [On TV] [Off camera] Coming up next…

[Cut to: Linda sat like Morbo in a room like Morbo was in during the previous scene.]

Linda: [On TV] My hysteria created a rift between me and Elzar! [Laughs] It was so funny!

[Cut to: Bender and Fry on the couch.]

Fry: Hey Bender do you know what I like? How these reality style shows are unrealistic. If you want realism in my opinion, turn to the Harry Potter channel!

[The door opens and the Professor enters.]

Professor: Good news around thirty percent of everybody…

Bender: Ah crap here we go!

Professor: You two and Leela are going on a mission to Glutton 27, a planet that is consisted entirely of robots and vending machines!

Fry: Wait a minute. Isn't that the planet that Bender became the leader of human killing once or something?

Professor: Oh my no this planet is friendly. Yes that's right, friendly and communist.

Fry: Ugh I hate communism. [Standing up] Well let's go do this mission as a collective and share the labour, effort and credit for the work!

Professor: And I'm going to create a book with words and their definitions inside it. I think I'll call it a dictionary!

[The Professor exits.]

[Scene: Outside Planet Express Ship. The ship flies into the air with force. The camera follows the spaceship from flying in blue sky of Earth into the dark sky of space.]

[Scene: Inside Planet Express Ship. Leela is at the driving helm with Fry and Bender sat at the sides looking bored. Bender is playing solitaire while wearing his X-Ray sunglasses. We get a view of Bender seeing that the nearest exposed back of the card is a seven of hearts - he is basically cheating against himself! Meanwhile Fry is looking out into space.]

Leela: Okay guys the mission is simple. We have got to deliver a mobile phone to the planet BUT due to the gravitational pull that the mobile phone will have on the atmosphere, we could plunge to our deaths. That is why somebody must jump out of the ship and fall to the ground with the mobile in their hands. After that, I haven't thought about what to do after that has happened except for delivering the package. Now I vote that--

Bender: I pick Fry!

Leela: --Bender will deliver the package as the fall won't kill him.

[Long pause.]

Bender: I still pick Fry! Ah crap!

[Scene: Outside Planet Express Ship. Bender - wearing no form of astronaut suit - opens the airlock door. He is holding a small box that just says: 'Mobile Phone'. Bender grumbles as there is a crackling noise from the outside of his chest cavity.]

Leela: [From walkie-talkie on Bender's chest cavity] Okay ready for take-off in one, two, three, four, five seconds ago!

[When she stops speaking, Bender is already half a mile away from the ship. He descends into the atmosphere. Bender continually screams as he cuts through the planet's robot gas layer (the equivalent of the Ozone layer), he then zooms through a layer of icy cold looking sky. This causes Bender's body to turn blue. Bender then crashes on the ground. His body goes back to a normal colour again. He lays there for a long while before going:]

Bender: Ow!

[Bender slowly looks up to see five golden robots stood there with books in their hands. Bender switches position so he is sat down. He rubs his head before standing up.]

Bender: Erm… package delivery for an: I.C. Weiner! Ugh crud. I always thought at this point in my life I'd be the one making the crank calls!

[Scene: Glutton 27 Town Market. Robots are walking around the market stalls. Bender is doing the same thing, having the five golden robots surrounding him. They walk past an alcohol stall with a robot in the stall.]

Alcohol Stall Robot: Alcohol, cheap alcohol, buy it now and your wallet will be safe!

Bender: Ooo beer!

Golden Robot #1: Actually Bolder...

Bender: Bender.

Golden Robot #2: Whatever… We are actually going to a friend's house to do 'stuff'.

Bender: Erm… Er… You aren't romosexuals by any chance are you?

[Bender and the golden robots enter a nearby house. There is a sign on the house that says: 'Sober House' with small writing underneath saying: 'Robot Death - The Slow Way'.]

[Scene: Inside Planet Express Ship. Fry and Leela are sat around looking bored.]

Fry: Aww man it has been three days! Can't we make out now? It's not like Bender is coming back now apparently. I bet he has either been kidnapped or he has changed his name to become a resident there.

Leela: Fry I am not making out. Do you remember when Bender conveniently had his camera when I was making out with some guy three years ago? If you don't remember, all of the explicit pictures are on www-dot-all-a-butt-Leela-dot-com!

Fry: Okay… As in making out, you do realise I just mean kissing right.

Leela: Oh… well in that case.

[Their heads move towards each other when Fry sneezes in Leela's eye. Leela retreats slightly.]

Fry: Sorry!

[Scene: Unknown. It is just Bender (who noticeably has five O' clock rust) walking in front of a black background. He walks in the direction of the camera as numerous signs flash past him like: 'Pop concert', 'Computer Convention' and 'Alcoholics Anonymous - Now with Our Newest Member: Russell Crowe's Head'. The black background then fades into the market scene where Bender has a communicator in his hand. Behind him are the golden robots who are drunk with soberness too!]

Bender: [Drunk sounding] Well friends, I am up into space. You know you guys, yeah, you guys are my best friends in the whole wide something. I forget now.

Golden Robot #3: [Drunk sounding] Good bye Jesus!

Golden Robot #4: [Drunk sounding] See in you in Hard Drive Heaven my man!

[Bender suddenly flickers and disappears.]

[Cut to: Planet Express Ship. Bender appears on the centre of the deck to see Leela and Fry laid there looking green and groaning.]

Leela: [Delirious] Jesus is that you?

Bender: [Drunk sounding] According to everybody I am because I am someone!

Leela: [Delirious] You got to drive the ship home because I left my pork roasting in the microwave. Hey do you know what goes good with cookies? Pork!

Fry: [Delirious] Ha! You said the answer first and then the other thingy! Ha ha!

Bender: [Drunk sounding] Okay I'll drive you minions home! Now where the heck is the steering wheel and navigational thingy?

Fry: [Delirious] In the cupboard!

[Cut to: Outside Planet Express Ship. The ship drives normally as you can hear Bender humming from inside the ship. It passes a planet and suddenly the ship begins to swerve out of control. The ship loops sideways again and again and does several 360 degree loops. The views changes into a binocular view after a while.]

[Cut to: Omicron Persei 8. The thing that is looking into the binoculars is Lrr. The screen goes back into the normal view.]

Lrr: Now that's what I call driving!

[Cut to: Outside Planet Express Ship. The ship darts towards Earth in a messed up way before making a crash course towards Mom's Hair-Shaped Satellite.]

[Cut to: Inside Planet Express Ship. Bender is happily driving.]

Bender: [Drunk sounding] I am the best driver in the universe! Wooooooooooooo!!!

[Cut to: Outside Planet Express Ship. The ship spirals several more times before crashing into the satellite. The satellite explodes while the ship cuts right through it and drives towards Earth. Suddenly the screen zooms out to reveal it is on television.]

[Scene: Court Room. The television is in the court room. On the screen, it says: 'Executive Producer: Dr Zoidberg'! We then see that Bender, Leela and Fry (who are not ill or sober now) are sitting on the defendant bench while Mom of Mom's Friendly Robot Company is on the Prosecutor's bench. Bender, Leela and Fry stand up and go towards Judge Whitey's stand.]

Judge: Philip J Fry, Turanga Leela and Bender B Beautiful Rodriguez, you are on trial for the explosion of Mom's Friendly Satellite Dish. And you are obviously guilty!

[Gasp from the crowd.]

Mom: Well duh! [She reaches into her pocket and pulls out a packet of Mom's Friendly Cigarette Patches. She sticks one on her arm and relaxes.] Ahh yeah! That's the good stuff.

Judge: And for that, you must be punished. That is why you will get a certain amount of community service each for your crime. The amount is…

Bender: [Quickly To Himself] Please be two-thousand, please be two-thousand, Please be two-thousand!!!

Judge: …Eight hundred hours! [Bender groans] Altogether! [Bender groans again] Now if there isn't any other action then I'll ax you all to…

[The Judge yelps as Mom pulls a Polaroid from her shirt and points at the Polaroid - emphasizing it. The Judge stutters.]

Leela: Ax us all what?

Judge: A-A-Actually I have changed my mind due to Mom's Friendly Discriminating Evidence! You will all get eight hundred hours community service EACH! And the community service will take place at Mom's Friendly Package Delivery service.

[Fry and Leela gasp while Bender looks confused.]

Bender: Wait a minute; did he just say I get to work with Mommy?

Leela: Yes!

[Bender begins to run around the courtroom celebrating and cheering while the other two look pissed off at the decision.]


ACT TWO

[Scene: Planet Express Lounge. Bender, Fry and Leela look ready to go as they have their suitcases and other items with them. In the same room are Hermes and the Professor.]

Hermes: Because you are gone for a long while to work for a rival company, you won't get a dime out of us. No siree, not a dime at all! [Reveals a $5 bill] By the way here is the five bucks you wanted Bender.

Bender: [Taking the note] Thank you good sir… [Mumbling] Sucker!

Professor: Now according to your community services, you will be replacing Mom's three bumbling sons while they are at a spa getting psychological treatment for the mental scars that Mom has given them over a period of two weeks. Apparently all of them now say: Mom every alternate word and cringe every time they speak as they know they won't get good feedback from Mom… Have fun now!

[Scene: Mom's Friendly Package Delivery Company. Fry and Leela walk into the room hesitantly where Mom is. Meanwhile Bender runs in behind them giddy like a little schoolgirl! Mom is looking out of the window. Leela tries to speak and is hesitant but finally:]

Leela: E-E-Erm hello Mom. Loving weather we're having… right?

[Long pause before Mom suddenly turns around with striking force.]

Mom: [Shouting] Who in the hell said you could come in???

Fry: W-W-Well we knocked on the door, three times before shouting: 'Hello is anybody in there?' followed by a method of trying to--

Mom: [Shouting] The reason I didn't answer was because I may have been in a meeting or fixing my fat suit you bastard!

[Fry is slapped by Mom. Leela gasps while Bender laughs.]

Fry: Ow!

Leela: Hey! What gives you the right to slap other's around like pieces of crap!

Mom: It's called community service!

Bender: [Cheers] You go Mommy, you tell those scumbags what's right and what's not! You truly are the bestest Mommy ever.

Mom: Two things, one is that bestest is not a word, and second of all… [Shouts] Shut up!

Bender: Yes Mommy!

[Scene: One of Mom's Many Sleeping Quarters. Leela, Fry and Bender are stood in front of Mom who is stood behind a bed that looks far too small.]

Mom: Okay you big sacks of crap here is your sleeping quarters. You see this miniature sized bed here! [She puts her hand on the bed and a spring pops out of the mattress. Mom then points at Fry.] You and… [Points at Leela] you will be sleeping on this bed. Meanwhile Bending Unit, the closet is over there!

[Bender walks up to the closet and opens it. In there it is very tiny as it is populated with mops, buckets and sand! Bender turns around looking emotional.]

Bender: Oh Mommy, this is the greatest room I've lived in ever! [Bender steps into it. You can hear a snapping noise.] Ow!!! And these bear traps are exquisite!

[Scene: Mom's Friendly Package Delivery Service. Leela, Fry and Bender are stood beside Mom while she is on her treadmill. She awkwardly runs before getting off.]

Mom: Bending Unit, towel, now!

Bender: [Grabs towel from his chest cavity and hands it over to Mom] Yes Mommy!

Mom: [Wiping her head with the towel] Okay you crap bags, you've got a mission to do today and if you screw it up, I'll screw you up!

Fry: What is the mission?

Mom: Your mission is to go to Pipolo Facher 1 where you will deliver a simple package to the Government headquarters. And as soon as you deliver the package, you have got thirty minutes to run before you get five thousand pounds of force up your ass!

Leela: What the heck does that mean?

Mom: [Shouting] Never you mind! [Normal voice] Now if you excuse me, I've got several alcoholic anonymous meetings to go to.

[Mom stands up and walks towards the door. On her way out, she picks up two bottles of whisky and some gin before leaving. The door closes.]

Leela: Doesn't this mission sound suspicious eh Fry? [Pause] Fry?

[Leela turns around to see Fry in Mom's fat suit!]

Fry: [Excited] Look at me Leela, I look as fat as an American Footballer!

[Scene: Pipolo Facher 1 Government Building. A grey ship with Mom's Friendly Delivery Service's logo on it parks in a packed car park. As it lands, it crushes one hover-car on each side of the ship.]

Fry: [Off Camera] Erm Leela, it's compact only here.

Leela: [Off Camera] Hey as long as I'm paying for parking, I will park wherever I want!

[Time Lapse. Fry, Bender and Leela walk up the stairs of the Government building and come up to the front door. Bender has a box package in his hands. There is a close up on the box package - you can hear a ticking sound. They come up to two guards who halt them.]

Guard #1: State your business!

Bender: No!

Guard #2: Okay then. Our laws state that stating your business in a building is not an obligation so you may go through.

[The guards move out of the way.]

Leela: Thank you!

[Bender, Leela and Fry enter the building.]

[Time Lapse: 26.32 minutes later. The trio walk out of the building. All three of them salute the two guards and head towards the car park. In the car park, they get into the spaceship before lifting off into space - apparently a mission for the first time in their career has gone smoothly.]

[Cut to: Inside Ship. Fry is stood near the window and he sees a parking ticket on the window outside the ship. He grumbles before turning to Leela.]

Fry: I told you it was compact only!

[Cut to: View of Pipolo Facher 1's planet. The silver ship drives away from the planet. Then suddenly afterwards, the whole planet explodes into dust. And all that is left is rubble and a metal sign saying: 'Mom's Friendly Organic Organ Company!']

[Scene: Planet Express Lounge. It is a busy scene as Hermes, Professor, Leela and Fry are stood by the couch. Meanwhile Bender and Amy are playing poker at the table. Both of them have a full hand. Amy throws in another chip before Bender thinks for a moment. Bender follows the thought by throwing in an extra chip.]

Bender: Okay Amy, what have you got?

Amy: [Displays the cards] Five cards with colours and shapes on them!

Bender: Amy what the-- Erm I mean, holy crap you win this round [Mumbles to himself] Even though I've got a four aces… [Normal voice] Man I am so afraid of losing time and time again, how about we bet everything in just one hand!

Amy: Oh okay. I'll bet everything. Five thousand dollars in chips, my watch, my car and fifty-two percent of shares in CNN!

[Bender's antenna springs up, creating a 'boing' sound. The action then cuts over to Hermes, Professor, Leela and Fry.]

Leela: So anyway we delivered this package and then seven minutes later, the planet was more doomed than Zapp Brannigan's social relations with anybody. And if you ask me, it is slightly suspicious.

Fry: Well since we have three hours break from Mom's Friendly Constant Dictatorship, I think we should do something better than work.

Professor: No, dammit!

Fry: Why not?

Professor: Because I think Mom is back onto her galaxy domination plot. Back when I dated her, she blew up planets that had pissed her off in someway to show her dominance. That's why Mercury doesn't exist anymore. Oh lordy I knew she would try this again… I mean it was probably her who blew up Tweenis 12.

Fry: That wasn't Mom. That was… I forget now. I dunno. It could've been Mom.

Hermes: Whatever the case you must get evidence of her plotting and then use it against her. Just like how Bender has a file on discriminating material of all of us like mine at www-dot-check-out-that-fat-ass-on-hermes-dot-com!

[Scene: Mom's Friendly Package Delivery Service. Leela, Bender and Fry march into the room. Mom is sat on her chair behind her desk crushing a toy van with the edge of her golden lamp.]

Mom: [Slamming the lamp into the van every time she says a word] Take that you rival bastards! [Looks up] Oh crap it's you three again. Well I guess you want to know your next mission but first, Fry, get me a cream soda!

Fry: Okay. [Turns to Bender] Bender! Cream soda!

Bender: But she just said you-[Fry slaps Bender like Walt normally slaps Larry] Ow! Fine I'll get it you lazy SOB.

[Bender grabs a can of soda from his chest cavity. He then walks over to Mom and hands it to her. Mom opens the soda, drinks it and then spits it back out again.]

Mom: What the crap? This tastes like bacardi with soda!

Bender: Cream soda wasn't code for alcohol then, Mommy?

Mom: No it wasn't!

[Mom throws the can at Bender's face. It hits him in the eyes before bouncing off. Bender just stares vacantly, unaffected by the can.]

Leela: Erm so anyway, Mom. What is the mission?

Mom: Right the mission is to deliver a box package like that of the one you delivered the other day to the FBI - it's a present to thank them for confidential information or something like that.

Leela: What? One of your ticking time bombs? Like the one we delivered to that planet and then 'co-incidentally' it blew up minutes later?

Mom: [Shouting] How dare you accuse the world's number one most loved industrialist? [Normal voice] Anyway you pieces of crap, with the mass amount of money I own, I can do whatever I want. I can, will and have blown up planets and civilisations just to please myself.

Leela: Ah-ha! Bender, did you get all of that on tape?

Bender: Yep.

Leela: You hear that Mom, we've got you cornered now!

Mom: [Sighs in a not bothered way] Bending Unit, delete the tape!

[Bender presses a red button on the side of his body. A draining sound is made.]

Leela: [Angrily] Bender! Why the hell did you do that?

Bender: I dunno it sounded like a good idea at the time.

[Mom stands up and begins to stroll back and forth.]

Mom: Don't you get it Leela. I have every single resource in the world that will make the blame go away from me and probably onto you. Now get onto this mission and if you try anything sneaky, you will all be blown up more than my fat suit!

Bender: Oh Mommy, you always make the wise decisions!

Fry: [Whacks Bender like Walt on Larry again] Quiet you!


ACT THREE

[Scene: Outside Mom's Silver Ship. You can clearly see they are travelling in space. They fly past a green planet before flying past a rock with an alien on it holding a sign saying: 'Complete Bliss Or Bust'.]

[Cut to: Inside Mom's Silver Ship. The inside of the ship is exactly like that of the Planet Express Ship. They are all at their normal positions.]

Fry: Leela, if we're going to the FBI, how come we are in outer space?

Leela: I can't believe you don't know it but the FBI has their own planet now. They took advantage of a mad super-villain's dictatorship of Dog Doo 2 twenty years ago and now they are in charge there.

Fry: [Sniggers] Dog Doo 2! Now that's funny. [Fry reaches into his pocket and pulls out a pine tree car freshener. He then attaches it around his neck.] There, Dog Doo 2 won't smell like crap now.

Leela: Fry, just because it has that name, it doesn't mean it smells like it… Anyway the planet smells like varnish and gunpowder.

[Fry reaches into his pocket and pulls out another freshener. Meanwhile Bender looks into the package they are delivering - it is merely a dog bone with a red button on it.]

Bender: That's odd. It's a bone with a red button. Hey I wonder what happens if I press the button.

[Bender slowly darts his finger down towards the finger but is interrupted halfway through.]

Leela: Bender, if you press that button, I'll reformat your ass!

[Bender retreats his finger. He then stares lovingly into the red button.]

Bender: [Quietly at the button] Hello sexy button, do you wanna go bam with Bender?

[Scene: Outside ship. The ship passes a sign saying: 'Mom's Old Fashioned Adoption Service - Now With 25% More Judgment Than The Leading Brand!'.]

[Cut to: Inside ship. Leela stands up and walks towards the door.]

Leela: Fry, you take control of the ship. I've got to configure a couple of things in the cargo bay!

Bender: Yeah like your face! [Bender laughs before getting kicked in the head by Leela.] Ow!

[Leela exits. Fry goes to the driver's seat while Bender picks up the package and opens it again. He sees the red button.]

Bender: [To himself; sounding sexual] Oh what's that button? You wanna be pressed? Well you chose the right robot because my button pressing skills are more unique than Fry's methods of stupidity!

Fry: Hey! If you're gonna offend me, talk about anything except my stupidity. Anyway didn't Leela tell you to stop arousing the red button?

Bender: No!

Fry: Yeah she did. Now close that package!

Bender: Aww but the button wants to get fiendish with you, Fry!

Fry: Really?

Bender: Yeah! After the bamming with Bender though…

Fry: Okay, bam! Bam now!

[Bender lifts the box up and presses the red button. It makes a beeping sound before it makes low ticking noises after that.]

[Scene: Dog Doo 2. The ship lands outside the FBI building in an empty hover-car park. The door opens afterwards and Leela, Fry and Bender (who is holding the package) walk out and head towards the building. Half way there, the ticking sound gets louder. Leela hears it and turns around looking in an odd way.]

Leela: That's odd; can you guys hear a ticking sound?

Fry: No…

Bender: Yeah I can its coming from this pack--

Leela: Oh well never mind.

[Cut to: Outside FBI building. Bender, Leela and Fry are walking up the hundreds upon hundreds of stairs. Bender is whistling while going up the stairs, Fry looks tired out and Leela is sweating. Finally they reach the top of the stairs.]

Fry: Hey do you think there will be a lack of security looking over us during our mission like on the other planet, will there?

[The trio look to see five guards stood at the door. Behind those guards are detectors, metal detectors and funky detectors! And behind those detectors is a conveyor belt like at an airport with X-Rays that can look into any package and then behind that is a lie detector!]

Bender: We're boned! But I think I have an idea…

[Bender places the box in his chest cavity.]

Leela: How the hell will that work?

Bender: I don't! [Pause] Ooo… isn't this exciting kids?

[The trio walk up to the guards. They are halted by the guard in the centre.]

FBI Guard: Halt! State your business here!

Leela: We are here from Mom's Package Delivery Service and we have a package for you.

FBI Guard: What is in this package?

Leela: I don't know. Mom's Corp rule number one is to never open the package.

FBI Guard: Oh crap, Mom has gone to having the same rule as in that crap movie: The Transporter. Fine you may go through!

[Bender walks through as does Fry and Leela. They go through detectors but nothing happens. They then go through metal detector and a beeping sound is made. The guards turn around.]

Bender: Hey I'm made up of 60% metal! What the hell do you expect?

[The guards murmur between themselves as Fry, Leela and Bender walk on. They walk through the funky detector. A slight beeping sound is made before the funky detector that sounds like Bubblegum Tate says:]

Funky Detector: Fun-Kay!

Fry: Phew, that's stage one out of like a gazillion over and done with!

[Scene: Inside FBI Building. Bender, Fry and Leela are now on the fourth floor. Bender has the package in his hand. They walk past an alien sleeping on the job. They turn around a corner to reveal a woman in an FBI suit stood there.]

FBI Woman: And where do you think you're going?

Bender: To the gay bar! I've got a package here, so, yeah, screw you!

Leela: Bender shut up! Yeah we're here to deliver a package to the sixth floor but the lift is bust.

FBI Woman: And what is in the package?

Leela: Not even I know that. Mom doesn't let us look into the packages… not even when you're on community service!

FBI Woman: And why is that?

Bender: And why do all of your sentences begin with 'And'?

FBI Woman: They just do. Now… the package.

[The woman steps towards the trio. She launches at Bender. Bender throws the package at Leela and Leela catches it. The woman then launches at Leela and Leela throws the package over to Fry. Fry thinks for a moment before simply handing the object over to the woman. The woman triumphantly walks several steps forward to examine the package.]

Leela: [Whispering to Fry] Fry? What the hell are you doing?

Fry: I've had an idea that's taking place right now. Also with my brittle hands, throwing something will probably kill me!

[The woman opens the box to see the bone with the red button. She shrieks.]

FBI Woman: Holy bastard! It's a bomb! And you three say you never knew what was in the package?

Leela: Mom's Corp rule number two: never open the package until it is delivered.

FBI Woman: Hmph, I see Mom's seen The Transporter before. Now we must exterminate this bomb before the bomb is activated to be set off and… [Loud ticking noises are made] Crap! The bomb has been activated!

[The woman grabs the bone bomb from the box and switches it around to where there is a timer. It states there are 25 minutes until detonation. The woman screams.]

FBI Woman: [Frantic] This regulation bomb will destroy the whole planet! [Normal voice] Strange though, the bomb gives you twelve hours to leave unless that damn Mom configured it to a different time.

Bender: Yeah… Sure… That happened.

FBI Woman: We're gonna lock that Mom away for a long time. But for now…

Bender: CHEESE IT!!!

[Cut to: Outside FBI building. A World War 2 style siren blurts out as people frantically run out of the FBI building screaming. They get into their cars. The camera follows Bender, Fry and Leela running towards their ship. They get onto it before driving into orbit.]

[Cut to: View of planet. Ships and cars from every co-ordinate of the globe come from the planet into space and drive out of view as fast as they can.]

[Cut to: Outside FBI building. The building suddenly explodes into smithereens along with the surroundings.]

[Cut to: View of planet. The whole planet explodes into a pile of dirt. The dust then settles and in that space, there is no planet anymore.]

[Cut to: Mom's ship. Bender looks on from the window of the quickly moving ship.]

Bender: Bitchin'!

[The ship then descends into a field of stars. Just like earlier in the episode, the screen zooms out to reveal it is being shown on television. At the end, it cuts to a dark screen saying: 'Director - Dr Zoidberg'.]

[Time Lapse. Mom is in the defendant stand while Bender, Leela and Fry are sat in the crowd behind her. The FBI is the prosecutor with Judge Whitey preceding.]

Judge: Mom, with all of this evidence behind you, I am going to sentence you to twenty-five years in jail with only cable TV in your jail room!

[The crowd gasp heavily.]

Judge: [Looking around] Now where is my wooden hammer to make it official.

[The Judge looks up to see Mom with the hammer. She hangs it over her cigarette lighter. She turns the lighter on and the hammer begins to warm up slightly.]

Judge: In fact I've changed my mind! Mom, you will do twenty minutes community service and relinquish all persons who are doing community service for you. Case adjourned! [Instead of his hammer, the Judge slams his fist down on the stand.] Ow, that wood is hard!

[The Planet Express crew cheer over the result. Meanwhile the FBI angrily scrunch up some paper in anger and throw it behind them.]

[Scene: Planet Express Lounge. Fry, Leela, Bender, Amy, Hermes and the Professor are celebrating the court case by sitting down and drinking champagne.]

Bender: Ahhh it sucks to be back. I wanna be with Mommy!

Hermes: Well tough luck Tin-Can! You are working back here now and the only sucking up you'll be doing is the one for wanting your job back every time you lose it.

Leela: Relatively, it will be the same amount.

Bender: [Bored] Hooray… I guess.

Amy: Hey I wonder what kind of community service Mom is doing?

[Scene: Nursery. There is complete commotion with children running back and forth. Meanwhile Mom is sat on a seat smoking a cigarette. A child with crayons and paper in her hands runs up to her. Mom inhales some smoke before taking the cigarette out of her mouth.]

Child: Mommy, will you draw am-in-als with me?

Mom: Screw you kid!

[Mom places her cigarette back into her mouth and inhales once again.]

[Closing Credits.]

Buddies