Fan Fiction

By Leelaholic

The PE crew sits at the meeting table

FARNSWORTH: Good news, everyone! The Planet Express has found a way to run into some extra money.

BENDER: Do I have to do anything?


BENDER: Damn. I had such a good excuse.

LEELA: So, what are we doing, Professor?

FARNSWORTH: Eh-wha? Oh yes, We'll be shamelessly moving some cheap crap from the Slurm company.

LEELA: Isn't that a little undignified?

FANSWORTH: Leela, Leela. The real issue here is all new "Vanilla Slurm" and "Slurm Blue". Both found to be 13% less lethal than it's predecessors.

He picks up the bottle and takes a drink from it

FARNSWORTH: See? I only ruptured one kidney.

FRY: I'm sold.

Theme song plays

OPENING SLOGAN: "From the people who Brought you Dude, Where's My Kidney?"


External shot of PE building. cut to the conference table

FARNSWORTH: Good news, everyone! We'll be getting a week off!

Everyone gets excited

BENDER: A week? Wow! Think of all the looting I can get done!

LEELA: But why, Professor?

FARNSWORTH: Um... no reason. But if there was, and I'm not saying there is, it certainly wouldn't have to do with unruly space wasps in the basement.

Cut to the basement where Scruffy is fighting off space wasps with a broom

SCRUFFY: Scruffy says it's payback time.

Cut back to the table, where Hermes is wrapping up the meeting.

HERMES: All right, people. Get outta here. Your insurance don't cover stings.

FRY: "stings"?

FARNSWORTH: No. He said... "strings".

BENDER: Makes sense.

Everyone agrees

External shot of "Robot Arms" at night. cut to Fry & Bender's room. Bender is packing a suitcase when Fry enters

FRY: Hey, Bender. What's with the suitcase?

BENDER: Didn't I tell you?

FRY: What are you talking about? Of course you didn't.

BENDER: I'm heading to Robotica to visit my uncle.

FRY: But we were supposed to go to Flushing Springs golf course tomorrow. Their toilet's as big as this apartment!

BENDER: Yeah, that was just a lie.

FRY: Well... that's okay. I have plenty of friends to hang out with.

BENDER: No you don't.

Fry sighs

BENDER: Don't worry, meatbag. We'll do something fun when I get back.

FRY: Really?


Bender turns out the light.

[End part one]