Fan Fiction

Meeting Of The Mind

The women had gone off to do “girl things” after dinner, but he was too angry and depressed to care. He nursed the drink in front of him and resisted the urge to strangle the living embodiment of his hopes and dreams, sitting 3 feet in front of him. He looked up and saw his reflection, with black hair and a green jacket, but still his reflection, watching the blernsball game out of the corner of his eye.

“Damn Mets still suck, even a thousand years in the future,” Fry 1 said, trying to spark any conversation from him. “Magee couldn’t hit even if they were using a beach ball.”

Fry A just nodded absently, silently cursing the jerkwad for getting so lucky. Luck. Blind, stinking, doo-da luck. That was it. His was horrible. He had run over black cats with better luck than his.

Sitting in the booth, sharing a drink with his happy, lucky, married to Leela doppelganger was starting to get to him. The man taunted him by even existing. Stupid Universe 1. Stupid Professor. Stupid box. Stupid Leela. Stupid Fry 1.

“Hey 1,” A said, the first thing he had said in the half an hour that they were at the bar.

“Yeah,” 1 replied.

“I’m feeling very angry and violent. You guys have a good internet connection at home?”

“It’s not bad,” 1 said, slightly wary and worried about himself. “The one at the office is better, though.”

“Then let’s go there. I need to kill things, and being around real people in the mood I’m in would be a very bad idea.”

Twenty minutes later, they were wandering through the internet, looking for something to do. Fry A was leading the search, and 1 just kept watching him, wondering when he would finally snap and try and kill him. He knew A better than anyone since he was, in a sense, him, and he knew how he would react to the very situation that A found himself in: disbelief, then anger and depression. Anger directed at everyone who he thought had caused this situation, namely, the Professor, Leela, and himself. Knowing that he had never been able to stay mad at Leela for any length of time, it left the crackpot and the twin. The Professor was just that: a senile, amoral crackpot. He accidentally created a parallel universe. There was nothing truly malicious there. He hadn’t even known he had done it until Leela opened the box.

So that left him, alone, with a very angry and depressed man, faced with having all of his hopes and dreams come true for someone else. And he was that someone else.  Yeah, this was going to be fun.

Three hours and numerous games of Killer Fighter II later, 1 was ready to go. A had gone completely cold and calm, beating all comers easily. 1 knew the feeling. He was nothing in the real world, but a god here on the internet.

Fry A was mercilessly destroying everyone. The worst thing for 1 was A’s total lack of emotion. He knew the feeling. He rarely felt it, except when he was mad, almost to the point of being angry beyond reason. He would get so mad, and then reach a point when nothing else mattered. Life and death, joy and sorrow were just words, and they meant nothing to him. No highs, no lows. Just a straight line between Points A and 2, and pity anything in the way. He hadn’t been that mad for years, but he knew exactly what A was feeling.

“Come on, Fry. Let’s get out of here. It’s been a long day and I’m tired.”

“Want to run back to you wonderful, big bed with your wonderful, loving cyclops wife?,” A replied, coldly.

“Yes, I do. No apologies for it. I’m sorry that you’re still alone, but there’s no reason for you to be so mad at me.”

“Screw you, sausage link,” he replied. “You won the lottery. All I’ve got are piles of losing tickets. I think that’s plenty of reason for me to be mad.”

“Fine! You know what, I’m leaving. You can do what you like, but I’m going back to the real world. I’ll pull your plug when I’m ready to go home. You can sleep on the couch or in the gutter, for all I care. You’re being an ass, Phil. Very attractive. Ever think of why she doesn’t want you? You’re a childish, irresponsible moron!”

“Takes one to know one,” he replied, not nearly as coldly as a few minutes before. His façade was breaking.

“That’s not the point. Did you think about why I won and you haven’t? Work, butt-munch. I did it, and you’re slacking. Pick it up, and she might say yes. We haven’t been married long and it’s not all beer and pizza.”

“I thought it was wine and roses?” He was starting to come down and stepped out of the game so someone else could play while he argued with himself.

“Whatever. In your case, though it seems like whine and roses. I’ve worked at this, and you’re not. “

“The hell I’m not,” he said, defeated. “She loves my boyish charms but hates my childishness.”

1 walked up and grabbed A by the jacket, pulling his face to within inches. “Then do something about it, you pointy haired loon! Fight, damn you,” he yelled. “Fight! If she’s that damn important to you, do what you did here. FIGHT! Take her best shot and keep coming back. Where’s our lobster-like tenacity?”

“I’m tired of fighting,” A whispered. “I can’t take it anymore. “

“Yes you can. Trust me, you’re stronger than you know.”

“You’d know, right?,” A smiled sadly.

“Damn straight. Come on. Let’s get out of here. You need a drink before we go home. You’ve got a pretty good calm going on, but I’d rather have you a whole lot more drunk before you have to deal with two Leelas. Just, please, think about what I said. If I can do it, so can I. Know what I mean?,” 1 smiled.

“Yup,” A replied, a small smile creeping onto his face.