Futurama

Fan Fiction

Stygia, part 9
By MC

It was going better than she had expected.

Leela was coming in for her third pass at the Nimbus, having caused a decent amount of damage to the engines. The torpedoes did exactly as advertised and dropped the larger ship’s shields quickly, allowing the missiles to blow most of the ship’s engines. But, after her first pass, whoever was in charge over there started shooting at her. The first volley missed, but as she was flying away after her second pass, she took a solid hit that opened the rear cockpit to space, took her shields off-line, and knocked out two of her four engines.

The incoming fire was thick, but she managed to find a groove that the Nimbus couldn’t target. Checking the distance, she fired four missiles, destroying three of the smaller engines. She then had the fighter’s computer do a quick calculation from what she remembered of the Nimbus’ capabilities. The computer came back saying that the remaining engine was not strong enough to propel the Nimbus into deep space. My work here is done, she thought grimly, hoping that she hadn’t actually doomed any of the humans that might still be alive on the Nimbus to life in this Universe instead of their own.

As she approached the rear of the ship, the laser fire hadn’t abated. She slowed the fighter to match the limited speed of the crippled Nimbus and considered her options. Her shields were down, and she had no idea on how to get them back up, but, she couldn’t stay here forever because her life support systems were limited. Weighing her options, Leela tasked the computer with plotting an escape course.

<COURSE PLOTTED>, the display read. <CHANCE OF SUCCESS: 6%>

“That’s the best you can do,” she asked, defeated.

<MARGIN OF SUCCESS REASONABLE DUE TO LARGE NUMBERS OF UNKNOWN FACTORS: EXACT TECHNICAL SPECIFICATIONS OF THE COMPUTERS CONTROLLING THE WEAPONS, EXACT TECHNICAL SPECIFICATIONS OF THE WEAPONS, YOUR PILOTING SKILLS->

“My piloting skills? My piloting skills! Oh, I’ve got piloting skills to spare, buddy. Watch this.”

Spinning the ship in a flat 180 degree turn, Leela powered the engines to full and shot away from the Nimbus. They were just about out of the cone of fire when her starboard engine was hit, sending her out of control. Leela’s hands started to fly over the unfamiliar controls as she tried to stop the spin, but nothing worked. As she started to spin toward Neptune, she hoped that her trajectory would send her into space instead of slamming her down into the planet.


They were quiet for the entire trip. Leela had done a thorough job of destroying any robot that crossed their path, and even some that hadn’t. Fry looked into an open room and saw one of the “counter-top” vender robots, like the one that had made the clothes that they were wearing, reduced to smoking pieces.

“So why exactly am I here,” Fry asked as he and Sylvester walked through the deserted halls. “I mean, I see broken robots all over the place, so Leela’s obviously cleared it out. Why do you need me?”

“I needed you away from the lab so I could talk to you about the Leelas.”

“What about them?”

“They can’t leave this Universe, Fry.”

“What?”

“They are creations of this Universe, Fry. If they leave, they’ll come apart molecularly in less than a month.”

“Will that kind of thing happen to us?”

“You’ve been here less than a week, Fry. Based on past tests, I’ve determined that they’d last about a month in your Universe, and you’ll do the same here.”

“So, what does that mean?”

“You can’t stay and they can’t leave.”

“What? You’ve let me go on for this long and now you’re telling me that all the progress I’ve made, with two Leelas, means nothing? That it’s just like playing Super Monkey Fracas, then having to quit when I’m right at the end because it’s time for dinner and there’s no pause button?”

“What does that even mean?”

“It means I can’t save and have to start over again from the beginning. Again.”

“Then, yes. I’m sorry, Fry. I really am. You can only push the laws of physics so far before they snap back.”

Collapsing to the floor, he said, “But why is it always me? Every time I do something good, no one believes me. I save the Universe from giant brains, they say I’m drunk. I move stars to write Leela a love letter, and it gets blown up and turned into a black hole before anyone can see it. I date a robot, and the celebrity that she was based on goes crazy, and my robot gets popcorn lodged in it. I wrote a damn opera about Leela, telling the world how great she is, and nothing came of it.”

Sylvester looked at him sadly for a few minutes before saying, “I know how you feel, Fry. These things have happened to me in the past, and I’m sure they’ll happen again. All we can do is learn from them.”

“So what do I learn from this? That I suck and nothing good will ever happen to me?”

Sylvester was quiet for a few minutes before saying, “I’m not sure, Fry. But, we may be able to do something about the Leelas’ happiness. If you’re willing, that is.”


Something had distracted the Central Computer. The few remaining robots had been running less efficiently than before, allowing the DOOP Commandoes to get closer to the core. The ship had shook several times, like something had hit it and had caused some damage. Maybe that’s what had distracted the computer. Who knew, and more to the point, who cared. The sergeant had lost a lot of good men today. He was down to less than ten out of the three hundred that he had started the fight with. But they were close, now, so very close. They had to get the computer off-line and then purge the system of whatever was corrupting it. Once that happened, they could get everything back to normal.

The troopers were waving everyone back. They must have set the charges, he thought as he hid behind the bulkhead. The shockwave rocked them all slightly, but the magnetic boots held their feet solidly to the deck. Rushing forward, all with guns at the ready, they were shocked by what they saw. Sitting, smoke leaking out from the inside of its casing, in front of the main central computer access port, was a maintenance robot. The small robot unplugged from the computer, its connector smoking and looking slightly melted. Turning, it started to stagger toward them, its arc welder popping out. Raising his hand, the sergeant ordered his men to open fire. The robot danced around as the laser blasts hit it, rocking it. Finally, one shot blew its head off, knocking it onto it’s back. Nodding, he waved his remaining crew in and signaled to the lone tech to start working on the computer.

The sergeant posted some of his men as guards for the tech and walked over to the remains of the maintenance robot. All this fuss over a few screwed up chips and fried wires, he thought, looking down on it. Suddenly, he felt a sharp jabbing pain in his foot. Looking down, he saw the not quite dead robot had jabbed something into his foot. Then all he felt was pain as every nerve in his body felt like it was on fire.


She opened her eyes, blinking them several times before they finally cleared. She was in a hospital room, probably the same one that she had woke up in what seemed like a lifetime ago. Looking around, she saw her clothes piled up on the chair, just like last time. What happened, she thought. Then it all came back to her. Fry, the store room, killing robots, getting shot in the stomach and feeling like she was dying. “Fry,” she said suddenly, sitting up. But when the door opened, Amy walked in.

“Leela, I’m so glad you’re ok. God, it’s so weird seeing you with two eyes.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Where’s Fry?”

“He went someplace with that little guy. He’s some kind doctor or something. Whatever. I don’t know, since I wasn’t paying attention. I was looking for some new clothes, since the ones I had were all stained. They were totally puke-atronic. These jump suits are totally gauche, but whatever. They’ll do until I can get back to the ship. But I totally couldn’t wear the bulk underwear that that machine gave me. Like I would wear ever that? As though. I wouldn’t cover my lady parts with something that wasn’t grown by specially bred silk monkeys. If I must suffer by wearing these coveralls, then I’ll do it commando.”

Her head was getting dizzy trying to follow Amy’s convoluted logic. “Amy, what the Hell is wrong with you? You sound like some vapid, shallow clothes horse. I thought you were a hyper-competent engineer.”

“Oh, I’m totally an engineer,” she said. “I mean, I think I am. I mean, that’s what I’ve been studying in school for the last 8 years. I mean, I’m sure I’ll graduate some day, but they’ll have to reschedule my classes at times other than 11 in the morning. I mean, how’s a girl supposed to get her beauty rest after partying all night? I mean, I know I’m naturally cute, but it’s hard work being on the cutting edge of fashion all the time. Maybe that’s your problem, Leela. Maybe you need to stop getting up so early. You know, a little beauty sleep wouldn’t hurt.”

“What,” Leela said, confused.

Before she could respond, the door opened and two strange men walked in. One was a small, green alien and the other was a tall blonde human. The alien walked over to Amy and put his arm around her waist, and the human walked over to the bed and took her hand.

“Ah, Leela, my bosomy swan,” he said. “I’m so glad that you’ve regained conscious. After the hair pile brought you in…”

“Who?”

“Fry,” the green alien said. “You had been shot and Fry carried you in. That little man…”

“Sylvester,” Leela said, impatiently.

“Yes, him. He fixed the medical robot and they brought the medical machine thingy on-line to heal you.”

“Where are Sylvester and Fry,” she asked.

“The Master and Mr. Fry have restored the Central Computer,” Nurse said, walking into her room. “All systems are back on-line and fully operational. The Master has said that Mr. Fry should arrive here at any moment.”

“Did someone say my name,” Fry said from the doorway.

“Fry,” Leela yelled as she vaulted from the bed, knocking Zapp to the floor. She stumbled, but fell into Fry’s arms as he walked into the room. Amy and Kif snuggled and turned away, giving Fry and Leela some privacy, but Zapp just started at her naked back and butt, drooling some. Looking over her shoulder at him, Fry pulled her gown together in the back and turned her away. Zapp just glared at him as he rose up from the floor.

“How are you feeling, Leela,” he asked as he started into her eyes.

“Much better now that you’re here,” she replied, kissing him.

“I was worried about you,” he said. “I didn’t think-”

“Enough of your fake sobbery,” Zapp said. “I’m arresting you both for violating Brannigan’s Law.”

“What,” Fry and Leela said. Kif just groaned and covered his eyes.

“Oh, don’t try and play games with me,” he said. “You three have illegally entered an alternate Universe and brought a robot to a forbidden planet. There’s a law against that sort of thing: Brannigan’s Law. Kif, put them in the brig.”

“Allow me,” Nurse said, grabbing Zapp by the throat and shocking him. Zapp twitched for a few seconds before falling into a heap on the floor. “Ah, now, where were we?” They all watched him twitch and then shrugged.

“Thanks Nurse,” Fry said. “For everything. I’m sorry my best friend became evil and nearly destroyed you.”

“Don’t worry about it, Mr. Fry. The Master was able to fix me. Besides, you and your friends have made me useful again. Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve even seen a human?”

“Where is Sylvester, anyway,” Leela asked.

“Back in his lab,” Fry said. Hesitating, he said, “While we were there, he, uh, got a message...from the other Leela.”

“Other Leela,” Amy said. “What other Leela?”

“And,” Leela asked, ignoring Amy.

“It was a distress call. Her ship’s in trouble. She may be…” He just let it trail off, not able to say the words.

“Then what the Hell are we doing standing around here,” Leela yelled “Let’s get out there and save her. Nurse, ask Sylvester to get a ship prepped for us.”

After a few seconds pause, Nurse said, “The Master has informed me that your ship is currently being transported here and cleaned to eliminate the bronzillium poisoning and the various viruses that your robot has uploaded and/or downloaded onto your ship’s computer.”

“Thanks, Nurse,” Fry said, leading the way out of the room. “You should come, too,” he added grimly. “Just in case.”

“I’m sure she’s fine, Fry,” Leela said, following him. “The one good thing is that that I’ll have something to wear that fits. You don’t think that the real Leela will mind that I’m borrowing her clothes?”

“The real Leela,” Amy asked. “How many Leelas are there?”

“There are three of us,” Leela said matter-of-factly as she and Fry led the way to Sylvester’s lab. “The two clones and the original. Wherever she is.”

“Three Leelas,” Zapp said groggily. “My God, I don’t know if my groin can take it…”


An hour later, they were flying past Saturn. Fry was frantically scanning space, while Leela flew them onward. Zapp stood at the front of the bridge, pacing angrily.

“My God, Fry. How could you have done this? You let my Leela head off into space to fight a certainly losing battle against the most powerful ship in the DOOP armada? You should have done it and let my other Leela bring this beautiful human Leela to be healed. Your cowardice in not wanting to be killed, so that I could comfort my twin loves in peace without you bothering us, sickens me.”

“Would you please shut up,” Leela said. “I’m not sure who you are, but you’ve got to be the most disgusting…creature that I have ever met. I still refuse to believe that I slept with you.”

“Oh, Leela. You’re just playing coy with me. You know who I am and what I’m capable of doing. Or who I’m capable of doing, if you know what I mean…” Disgusted, Leela turned the wheel hard, sending the ship into a spiral, and throwing Zapp all over the bridge.

After she settled the ship, Nurse called over the intercom. “Excuse me, Captain. We seem to have experienced some sort of evasive maneuver. Is anyone up there injured? Does anyone need medical treatment?”

Looking around, Fry was fine, if a little green. But Zapp was holding his head where it slammed into the ceiling, and had visible bruises on his face. “No,” she replied. “Everyone up here is ok. We just had to avoid a random space cow.”

“Leela,” Fry said. He still sounded unsteady. She looked back at him apologetically, and mouthed ‘Sorry.’ He nodded, understanding. “We’re closing in on Urectum, Leela. We should be able to pick up the fighter’s path.”

“Roger. Fry, set the scanner to detect human life. We should be able to pick up something as soon as we enter orbit.”

“She’s still alive, Leela,” he said. “I know it.”

“Yeah,” she replied, still sounding worried. “We’re too tough to be killed by something as insignificant as slamming out of control into a planet’s surface.”

“So,” Zapp said, suddenly appearing at the helm. Even with two eyes, she hadn’t seen him move. She gritted her teeth in irritation. This buffoon was the last thing she needed at this moment. “There are three copies of my plus-sized love slave in this Universe?”

“For the last time: 1) there are two clones and the original Leela, and no, I don’t know where she is; 2) none of us are your, ugh, ‘love slave’; 3) we’re curvy or voluptuous, or maybe even full-figured, but we are not ‘plus-sized’; and 4)…” She raised her left hand and punched him in the face, knocking him back into, and then over, the couch at the front of the bridge. The moment they entered orbit, Leela turned impatiently toward Fry. “Well?”

“I’m still looking, Leela.” A few tense minutes later he said, “Contact. Faint reading near Oberon.”

“Got it,” she said, breaking orbit. They quickly slid into the moons’ orbit and Fry started to scan the area to refine his search.

“There she is, Leela,” he said, sending her the coordinates. She’s entered into low orbit. The computer says that she’s going to crash into the planet after another two or three times around.”

“Right. Nurse,” she said over the intercom. “Meet us in the cargo bay and be ready for business.”

“Acknowledged. You do have space suits and a way to transport her in an atmosphere, don’t you?”

Fry and Leela looked back and forth at each other, their mouths hanging open. “Uh, no,” Leela said. “Not really.”

“That will make transporting her difficult.”

“Stand by, Nurse,” Fry said. “Leela, what if we load the cockpit into the cargo bay?”

“What?”

“We throw the magnet out, cut the cockpit off and just drag her into the bay.”

“That’s still risky, Fry. We don’t know if the ship will even fit in the bay. And even then, she could still be exposed to vacuum. Plus, none of us are familiar with the type of ship she’s flying. We could cut something and blow us all up.”

“I’m not going to lose her, Leela. This could be our only shot at this. We can’t drag her back across the solar system. It a risk we’re going to have to take, Leela. It’s that or she’ll die.”

She nodded and sighed. “Nurse,” she said over the intercom. “Change of plans. We’re going to try and pull the cockpit into the cargo bay. Amy, meet me in the bay and bring our space suits.”

“Have you considered the potential damage she could sustain from vacuum exposure?”

“Yes, Nurse, but I don’t think we have much choice.”


Fry and Leela were walking along the hull of the fighter. After assessing the situation, Leela sent Amy back up to pilot the ship so that she and Fry could rescue the other Leela. Zapp, seeing an opening, insisted on being there to help with the rescue. And, predictably, the first thing he did was decide to ‘supervise’ the rescue standing next to Nurse on the cargo bay platform. They heard, and then completely ignored, his constant suggestions on the how best go about saving the other Leela. When they got to the nose, they were alarmed to find two of the three canopies smashed open. Looking at the third, they were slightly less alarmed: the glass had held, but by the way it was clouded over, they could tell that it was leaking air to space.

“Shut up, Zapp,” Leela said over the headset. “Nurse, we’re at her portion of the cockpit, but we’re unable to determine if she’s still…still alive.” She choked up at that part. Why was she feeling like this? She hated sharing, and this other woman, who was her, wanted to have the one thing most important to her. She shouldn’t be here at all. She should just let the mutant clone die. It would be easy to do. Just lean a little bit on the edge of the canopy right there and the rest of it would shatter. It would look like an accident...

No.

She couldn’t do it. It would crush Fry. He loved all the Leelas. There is no way she could do that to him. She loved him too much. Even if the real Leela didn’t like Fry, the two clones loved him, and from the way they talked to, and had started acting around, each other, they seemed to have a genuine love for each other. When they got her out, the two Leelas would talk about what to do about it, and then they’d deal with the real Leela. But, first things first.

Shooing Fry back, she knelt down next to the exterior control panel. Flipping it open, she wished that she had been the one wearing the wristamajigger. The few pieces of information that the display gave her indicated that there was still a breathable atmosphere in the cockpit and that there was still enough power to open the canopy from the outside, but the computer was no longer functioning, the internal temperature was below freezing, and the manual release was jammed. Without her wristamajigger, their only way to open the canopy would be to smash it and quickly pull her twin out.

“Nurse, how long can a human survive in space unprotected?”

“You have approximately ten seconds before bodily fluids begin to freeze and the lack of oxygen begins to affect the body’s tissues. Shortly thereafter, hypothermia begins and-.”

“Thank you, Nurse. Alright, here’s what we’re going to do. Fry’s going to shatter the canopy and I’m going to get her out of the cockpit and get to the ship. Zapp, be prepared to disengage the magnet and close the bay as soon as we’re all in. Amy, I need you to get closer. We’re only going to get one shot at this, people, so we have to do it right the first time.” When they all acknowledged her plan, Leela looked at Fry. He just stared at her and started to breathe quickly. When he looked like he was going to start hyperventilating, she grabbed his arm. “Fry,” she said. “Calm down. You can do this. All you need to do it kick the canopy and jump toward the ship. I’ll do the rest of the work.” When he didn’t calm down, she said, “Fry, I’m not going to let her die. I love her, too. I love her almost as much as I love you. I’m not going to ever let anything happen to her. Trust me. We’re going to save her. And when she gets better, the three of us are going to have some alone time together.”

That got his attention. Nodding, he raised his foot above the canopy. With a stupid, hopeful grin on his face, he waited for her to give the signal. She smiled and nodded. Slamming his foot down shattered the glass. The remains of the escaping atmosphere gave him a slight push toward the Planet Express ship. As he was floating back to their ship, Leela reached in, popped the safety harness open, and gathered the other Leela in her arms. The mutant had briefly opened her eye when the canopy popped, but the human quickly put her hand over her mouth and nose to prevent her from exhaling. Pushing off the fighter, she wished that she was going faster. She saw Zapp starting to close the bay door as Fry, already in the ship, pushed himself off the ceiling to land next to him. He even started to pull on her tether to get them in faster. Sweet Fry, she thought, holding her mutant twin closer, trying to will her her own body heat.

The trip to the ship was painfully slow. As they crossed fully into the ship, Fry leapt to the controls that would repressurize the bay. Cranking the heat and oxygen to full, he started stripping off his suit. He slid to a stop on the floor next to Nurse and the Leelas. The mutant hadn’t started breathing yet and the human was giving her mouth to mouth. Zapp, stood nearby, mouth hanging open as he watched.

“I’ll be in my bunk,” he said suddenly, turning away and running from the cargo bay.

Shaking his head with disgust, Fry began rubbing the mutant’s arms to try and get her circulation back. She was literally as cold as ice and his hands hurt touching her, but it needed to be done. He couldn’t think of anything else to do.

“Very good, Mr. Fry,” Nurse said calmly, making him feel a little better. “Anything that will warm her slowly at this point is a help. Captain, please let me work. I can do that much more efficiently than you.” Leela reluctantly sat back as Nurse pulled a mask out of her chest cavity. Once the mask was in place over the mutant’s mouth and nose, a whirring sound filled the cargo bay. The machine forced Leela’s chest up and down, as if it were breathing for her. Nurse, her hands free, began to inject the mutant with various things in an attempt to stabilize her. The human took the mutant’s hand and began to rub it, even kissing her fingers and rubbing the mutant’s hand on her face. Fry, not knowing what to do kept rubbing Leela’s arms.

After several minutes of work, Nurse removed the mask. The mutant appeared to be breathing on her own, albeit very shallowly. Looking at the two of them, she said, “I have stabilized her for the time being. We need to get her back to Terra as fast as possible and into the healing chamber. She’s suffered severe hypothermia. If left untreated, I will likely have to amputate her legs. Additionally, her lungs were damaged during your space walk and she has some brain damage. I can cure them, but only if we act within the next hour.”

Barely waiting for her to finish, Leela yelled over the headset from her space suit, “Amy, we need to get to Earth now!”

“We’re passing Mars now and will be landing in less than ten minutes,” came the reply. “What happened down there? Kif told me that Zapp ran to the laundry room muttering something about programming the Nimbus’ holo-shed for a twin fantasy.”

Leela felt like throwing up. Looking at Fry she said, “She really slept with that…thing?”

Fry nodded, barely able to keep from throwing up himself.


“And, that’s pretty much what happened, Leela,” he said standing at the foot of her bed. They were all in her room, except for Zapp. Last they saw, he was in the exam room muttering about the spirit being willing, but the flesh being spongy and bruised. Bender’s head, fully restored by Sylvester, sat on the table next to her.

Leela, the real Leela was quiet. She was furious with Fry. Looking over at the two…copies of her just made her madder. The sheer unmitigated audacity of Fry to clone her, not just once but twice. And, to add insult to injury, one of the clones was fully human. The way that the two of them were sitting was weirding her out, too: they were holding hands, fingers intertwined, like two school girls with a crush on each other. And they both kept looking back and forth between each other and Fry, both of them smiling as sweetly towards each other as they were at Fry.

“Let me see if I understand this,” she said finally. “You get us stuck here, Amy, Bender and I get poisoned, I get cloned, twice,” she added loudly and angrily, “Bender nearly causes a machine revolution that would destroy all living things, she,” she said waving her and toward the mutant clone, “kills a bunch of robots and then cripples the Nimbus, there’s a big space battle, she nearly dies, they both love you, and it looks like each other, too. That about sum it up?”

“You forgot that we want Fry to stay,” the human said.

“Oh, do you now,” the real Leela said. “Uh, let me think about that. Hell no,” she yelled. “I refuse to let this jerk ass be rewarded for getting us stuck here, poisoned, and nearly killed.”

“So you think that punishing us is a good idea,” the human asked.

“You don’t really have a choice in the matter, Leela,” the mutant clone said. “Besides, it’s not like you care about him.”

“Yeah,” the human said. “There’s two of us and only one of you. If we want to keep him, we’re keeping him.”

“Really,” Leela asked, raising her eyebrow.

“Really,” the human replied.

“We want Fry, and are willing to share him with each other. And there’s nothing you can do about it,” the mutant clone replied.

Movement in the hallway caught Fry’s eye. Sylvester stood there, his arms folded, looking both sad and annoyed. “Uh, ladies,” Fry said, “there is one small thing I forgot to mention.”


Leela was still angry as they flew back through the wormhole, towing the Nimbus behind them. The other Leela’s were furious with Fry after he told them he couldn’t stay in their Universe and they couldn’t come with him. Not so much that he told them, but that he knew for a long time before telling them. But then that little man, Sylvester she thought his name was, whispered something to them and it quieted them down. They calmly, but with some passion kissed Fry good bye and left the recovery room. Fry was disappointed that only Sylvester and Nurse were there to see them off, but he seemed to smile a little when Sylvester told him that things were progressing nicely and he’d see that the Leelas would be well taken care of.

“So, what happened to me again,” Bender asked. Since they didn’t have any spare bodies, his head was strapped into his seat with a martini being fed into his mouth by a straw.

“You went crazy and nearly killed me,” Amy said. “Then you nearly destroyed all organic life in that Universe.”

“Ah,” he said, disappointed. “A robot can dream.”

“I’m going to go check on Fry,” Leela said.

“Are you sure,” Amy asked. “Those other yous were pretty mad at you for being mad at him. The said you should just let him be for a while.”

“Pfft. What do they know? Besides, they’re gone and I’m here. They can’t exactly stop me, can they?”

“Leela, please,” Amy begged. “Don’t be mad at him. He did the best he could. You were dying and he only did it to save you.”

“He was the one that got me, and you and Bender, sick in the first place.” Sighing, she added, “I’m just going to talk to him. I promise I won’t do anything violent.”

“Why the hell not,” Bender asked.


“Fry,” she said, knocking on his door. “Can I come in?”

“Go away,” he yelled.

Sighing in irritation, she tried the door and found it locked. Using the override code, she unlocked the door and opened it. “I just want to talk,” she said.

“You’ve said enough. Now go away.”

“Fry, I’m mad at you. But, Amy’s right. I was dying and you did the best you could. It wasn’t your fault that I had to be cloned, twice,” she added with mild irritation, “in order to survive, but on the other hand, it was your fault we were stuck there in the first place. But, on the third hand, because you saved my life, I guess I can forgive you,” she said, kissing him on the cheek.

He smiled and rubbed his cheek. “The third hand? Is that some sort of mutant joke?”

Smirking, she asked, “What did Sylvester say to those other mes?”

“That he cloned me,” he said, still smiling. “A clone Fry is going to be the middle of a clone Leela sandwich. Or would they be the bread of a clone Fry sandwich? I’m not sure which, but I’m totally jealous.”

Shaking her head, she walked toward his door. “Oh,” she said, turning around as she was walking out, “For future reference, if you should happen to clone me again, which I strongly recommend against,” she added with a glare, “I really don’t like to share, even with myself. I’m selfish like that.” With a wink, she walked out as the door closed behind her.

Buddies