Futurama

Fan Fiction

Going Insane 4 - Tying Up Loose Ends
By GHT

[The alarm goes off next to the reformed delivery boy and he feels his true love asleep in his embrace, hot, naked, and beginning to wake up.]

FRY: Good morning my love.

LEELA: Last night was the best night of my life, I love you Fry.

FRY: I love you too. Now that we are engaged, we should tell the others the good news.

LEELA: Your right. Lets tell them today at the meeting, we are going to get married.

FRY: Wow, married; I never thought this day would come.

LEELA: Well it has, now we are going to take a shower and then we will get dressed to go to work.

FRY: Yes my love.

[Fry and Leela go into the shower together and you know. At work, just as Hermes is unlocking the door.]

FRY: Hey Hermes.

LEELA: Hi Hermes.

HERMES: Hey you all, we have a lot of work today, so you two will be very busy today, I will explain it all at the meeting.

 

[Later on at the conference table all are present except Amy, who is at Mars U finishing her second semester.]

FARNSWORTH: Good news everyone! We have a delivery today. And I have made a new invention. I have already installed it on the ship. It is a new reactor that will act like a turbocharger and increase speed 10 fold for a limited time however.

HERMES: That is right, and you all will be needing that speed to get to this planet.

FARNSWORTH: I used the mineral our clients gave me to make it. It is a most powerful and rare substance. I also used many assorted lengths of wire.

[Hermes hold up a disk and inserts it into a computer causing a hologram to appear]

HERMES: you all will be going here

[points to a dark world in the middle of a far off galaxy at the very edge of the star map]

HERMES: This is P3x-293, it has yet to be named, but our clients need the package for some ceremony or something, so you had better get there before it is meant to start of that constitutes a refund coming out of your paycheque.

LEELA: Sure thing, how long will the mission take?

FARNSWORTH: Normally it would have taken two weeks to get there, but with my new device, I will take only one day. Now off you go, we will need you back soon in order to deliver more packages.

FRY: Alright, we wont let you down professor.

BENDER: Yeah!

LEELA: Since when do you want to do any work at all?

BENDER: Since I found out that when I learned that ceremonies mean offerings and offerings are just valuable things to steal.

FRY: One more thing, Leela and I are engaged and are going to be married!

ALL: Hurray!!!!

HERMES: I knew this day would come, too bad you love birds still have to deliver.

FRY/LEELA: Awww…

 

[the ship takes off and heads toward to strange new world]

LEELA: Ok hold on, knowing the professor this new device will probably kill us all, so I just want to say that

[Fry pushes a large red button and the ship jumps and shakes as it gains a tremendous amount of speed, stars fly by in a blur. Everyone is thrown back against the wall, and eventually recover.]

LEELA: Fry you idiot! We could all have died before I could even tell you all that you are a good crew and that I love you Fry!

FRY: Oh sorry, I love you too Leela.

LEELA: Well we are in transit I am going to my room to take a nap. Ready the packages; Wake me when I have to land the ship.

[a day later the ship lands on an abandoned planet next to an ominous pyramid]

LEELA: hey look ruins, I thought this place would have some people.

FRY: Lets check it out.

BENDER: Yeah, where there are ruins there is treasure.

[The crew disembark and explore the pyramid.]

LEELA: Look, skeletons!

FRY: hey, what is this?

[Fry picks up a staff and one end opens with an orange glow, Fry then squeezes the handle and it fires into the air]

FRY: WOW!!! Did you see that!

LEELA: Be more careful Fry.

[Leela picks up what looks like an arm band with a crystal in the palm and finger covers and puts it on.]

LEELA: I wonder what this does, Fry!!! Look out!!!

FRY: what?

[Fry accidentally fires the staff and the shot goes strait at Leela, but dissipates on a force field being projected from the device protecting Leela]

LEELA: Fry!!! Do you have a death wish or something! Come on lets go.

BENDER: Just leave it to good old Bender to pick up this mess.

[Bender takes a staff, arm device and some other devices off the skeletons. All walk back to the ship]

FRY: What the hell are those!!!

LEELA: They’re all over the ship!!!

[Just then one creature that looks like a metallic bug walks up to the group]

FRY: Cool, here little guy I will not hurt you.

[Just then the technobug leaps and latches to Fry’s face.]

FRY: AHHHHH!!! Get it off!!

LEELA: Take this you stupid bug!!!

[She beats Fry’s face with a rock the bug shatters and fall off]

FRY: Oh thank you.

LEELA: Sorry about your face

FRY: Nothing the nanites can’t handle.

BENDER: Hey look they are leaving!

LEELA: This is our chance, move it!!!

[They all run to the ship and get in]

FRY: What the heck! It is all different!

[All the ships controls are upgraded and more futuristic looking]

LEELA: Drop the cargo, we have to move before they come back!

[Fry pushes a button and the cargo is dropped out of the cargo bay onto the ground. The crate hits the ground and a large grey ring that was in the crate shatters into a million pieces. The ship then takes off and flies away]

LEELA: Well so much for that, hey, where is the activation for the turbo device?

FRY: I don’t know, we only have the basic controls, the rest is all different, we should directly link with the system to find out what happened.

LEELA: You do that, I will go inspect the rest of the ship.

[Fry links to the ships computer using the nanites and is done downloading the information he needs in a few minutes, Leela is inspecting the crew quarters]

LEELA: Geez, everything has been upgraded and fixed, it is like someone completely rebuilt the ship from the ground up.

[Just then Fry’s voice comes over the intercom]

FRY: Leela you should come to the bridge, you are going to want to see this.

[Leela comes into the bridge where Fry is at the controls]

FRY: I have found out that those bugs rebuilt the ship and installed the best of what that ancient race had to offer on our ship.

LEELA: Like what?

FRY: Not much really, a hyperdrive, force field shields, more lasers, missiles, and a general tune up of all the ships systems.

LEELA: Wow, but can we get home faster now?

FRY: Well it turns out that the professors new device is at the center of the system, and it is now powered and cooled using a new power source a naq-something reactor. It is several times more powerful and a lot more efficient than a regular dark matter reactor.

[Just then there is a beep on the console and warning lights go off]

FRY: uh Leela, it looks like we have some company.

[just then several huge ships that look like saucers with a golden pyramid in the center de-cloak in front of the ship]

LEELA: What are those!

FRY: I have no idea, I have never seen a race like this on the info archives.

[just then they receive a transmission from one of the ships]

RA: I am your god Ra, you have destroyed my package! Bow down before me and you shall be allowed to eternally serve me.

FRY: You are no god! We will never serve you!!!

RA: Shov’va! Your blasphemy ends now!

[All the ships attack the Planet Express Ship, but Fry activates the shields in time.]

FRY: We don’t have enough firepower to get out of here, we need something really big and distracting.

LEELA: As captain, the professor entrusted me with a secret about the ship, we are carrying a dooms day device.

FRY: WHAT!!! WHY!!!?

LEELA: Did you ever wonder how this ship goes so much faster than the rest?

FRY: I thought the professor just made some modifications that no one else thought of.

LEELA: Close Fry, but the engines are actually a controlled dooms day device, now if we can jettison it into the sun, the mini black hole will absorb enough to cause a supernova and wipe out this solar system, but it will be risky.

FRY: Well the shields wont hold for much longer, how do we do it?

LEELA: Like this.

[She pushes a bunch of buttons in a complex sequence and the engines are jettisoned into the sun, there is then a momentary black hole, but then the sun explodes.]

LEELA: NOW FRY!!!

[Fry activates the hyper-drive and Leela and Fry hold each other in what they thought would be their final embrace. They escape just as the shockwave hits, there is a huge shock on the bridge and Fry and Leela are knocked unconscious. They come to some time later.]

FRY: Oh man my head, where are we?

LEELA: I have no idea, we are still in hyperspace.

[Fry deactivates the drive]

LEELA: None of the stars register here, we are in an uncharted territory.

FRY: The shock from the blast must have sent us way far away, and without any engines we may never get home.

LEELA: look what is that!!?

[they look out the front window and see a whole lot of binary floating out in space]

FRY: Wow, the edge of the universe

LEELA: AHHHH!!!! Look!!!

[They see a face in the darkness]

LEELA: G-G-God?

GHT: Damn! I have written myself into a corner here! How do they get back home? Hmmmmmm……..

FRY: what is he doing?

LEELA: Who are you?

GHT: I know! Just then…

[Just then a black hole opened up and the ship was sucked in and cast out in another part of the universe only one week away from home.]

FARNSWORTH: Confound it! Where are they! They should have been back three days ago!

HERMES: Don’t worry mon, I will just dock more of their pay.

FARNSWORTH: I wanted to tell them that if they destroyed or broke my new device I would stick one of my doomsday devices on them.

[Just then a wormhole opens up over the Planet Express building and Bender is flung through, crashing though the roof and right onto the table that Hermes and the professor were talking at]

HERMES: What happened to you mon!

BENDER: I have no idea!, we were at this planet, and I stole a bunch of stuff, and then I fell through the roof. All my memory of what happened for the last three days is blank.

FARNSWORTH: Intriguing, what did you take anyway, I think I will need a new ship.

BENDER: I took this stuff and it is mine thank you!

[Bender pulls out a bunch of alien stuff, like the arm device, staff weapon, and other things.]

FARNSWORTH: I will be taking those to my lab now to experiment on them.

[Meanwhile far away from earth at he edge of the universe for this fan fic]

GHT: Well I had to write that damn robot in somewhere to make him special. I never did manage to write in many other characters into these thing. Now to Fry and Leela on the ship one week from earth.

FRY: Looks like we have some company, long range scanners show the nimbus approaching.

LEELA: Oh no not him again.

[A video link is then made with the nimbus and Zapp appears on the screen]

ZAPP: Well, well if it isn’t the lovely Leela and her puny idiot friend. Why don’t you ditch him and come with me a real man.

LEELA: Zapp, first of all, he is my fiancé, and he is not an idiot anymore.

FRY: Yeah, I could kick your ass any day!

ZAPP: Is that a threat? Under article 12 of Branigan law I challenge you to a ship to ship dogfight for the right to Leela.

LEELA: Fry you don’t have to do this. I already love you too much to loose you again.

FRY: I have to, I am finally going to ruin that buffoon.

ZAPP: So you accept, good the nimbus versus your ship. I suggest Leela get off now, before you meet your end.

[Leela gets into a life pod after giving Fry a long heartfelt kiss for good luck, once far away the duel commences.]

FRY: Your going down Branigan, but I want to wager one thing on this, If I win I get your command and you leave Leela alone forever.

ZAPP: You will never win, mine is bigger than yours.

FRY: It is not the size that matters it is how you use it! My ship is way better!

ZAPP: Lets go!!!

[The ships go into al all out attack. The nimbus fires all batterys at the Planet Express Ship, but Fry activates the shield and all the shots are dissipated over the shield]

FRY: Is that all you got? Try this on for size!

[The PE ship flies strait for the nimbus and fires taking out a large part of the ship, leaving it a molten exploding mess]

ZAPP: HA!!! That is barely a scratch!!!

FRY: Then eat this!!

[Missiles are deployed from the ship and destroy the engines of the nimbus]

FRY: You are a sitting duck!!! You cannot win!!!

ZAPP: NO!!! well then let me just whip this out.

[Large cargo bay doors open and hundreds of ship fly out all controlled by remote from the nimbus.]

ZAPP: HA!! These ship are remote controlled, my men are now more suicidal than ever now that they are in relative safety.

FRY: Eat this!

[Fry deploys more missiles and goes in al all out attack on the smaller ships, after a long batter the PE ship is battered, but not badly damaged, and finally destroys the last of the ships]

FRY: Face it you lose Brannigan!

ZAPP: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

LEELA: Hurray!!! Fry won!!!

[Fry then boards the nimbus and takes brannigans medals and rank status, he the goes over to kif.]

FRY: Here I know you will be way more qualified than me for this job. Here take them you are now the captain. I have a fiancé to pick up.

[Fry gets Leela and they head home. On the ship]

LEELA: That was amazing!!! I thought you were a goner for sure!

FRY: Have a little faith Leela, I had it all under control.

[They then kiss long and passionately.]

LEELA: Lets go to my room for a little while.

FRY: Alright, let me just set the hyperdrive.

[As the drive activates a wormhole opens in front of the ship and they disappear into hyper space. Leela and Fry then go to her quarters for a nice time.]

 

[Just then the Planet express ship comes in to land, Fry and Leela walk out of the ship. Fry and Leela emerge looking strangely unkempt and dazed.]

HERMES: Where were you?

FRY: I have no idea, after delivering the package all I remember is this evil deep voice from someone named Ra or something, and then I challenged Bannigan to a dogfight, won, took his rank and made kif captain.

LEELA: Yeah, that is all I remember too. Although I just know there is more to it than that.

FARNSWORTH: It appears as though everyone’s memory has been erased somewhat.

FRY: Erased! But how?

LEELA: Look! What happened to the ship?

FARNSWORTH: It appears as though a lot of advanced alien technology has been grafted onto it. I must examine it closer, come back tomorrow.

[All begin to leave]

FRY: Hey Leela, do you want to go and work out or something?

LEELA: Sure Fry, I feel like I was in a life or death situation, I need something to relax.

[Fry and Leela go to the gym, they spot Amy there]

FRY: Amy what are you doing here? I thought you went off to collage for the next three months.

AMY: Oh that, well since I downloaded everything there is to know about engineering, physics, chemistry and even subjects I hate and got all A’s on every test they gave me I was able to graduate early with a masters in 6 fields of science and engineering.

FRY: Wow! That is awesome! Let me congratulate you.

[Fry shakes Amy’s hand, but is unable to let go]

LEELA: Ok that is enough Fry, Leela touches Fry on the shoulder and is stuck too.

AMY: Oh man not this again! I guess the recent experiences we all have had are making the nanites bind and share again.

FRY: well we’re stuck, lets go into the steam room and relax.

LEELA: Sure, but we will just go in bathing suits this time.

AMY: Yeah agreed Fry.

FRY: What, I didn’t mean it would be like that last time we were here and zoidberg freaked out.

[They all go to a steam room and sit down inside]

AMY: So what has happened while I was gone?

LEELA: well Fry and I are now engaged to get married.

AMY: WOW!! Really!?

FRY: Yep. Leela is the only one for me.

LEELA: Aw that is so sweet Fry.

AMY: Hey!, I can leave now, I am going to get some beer, I feel tired, do you want any?

FRY: Sure bring me some.

LEELA: Me too.

[Amy leaves the steam room Fry and Leela are all alone]

FRY: Leela, tell me, do you only love me because of what the nanites have done to me?

LEELA: Oh Fry, I have always loved you deep down inside, it is just that back then you were so immature and irresponsible that I frankly couldn’t see past it all. Maybe we would have fallen in love, but it would have taken a lot longer.

FRY: So you love me for who I am, not what I have just become?

LEELA: Yes Fry, I do. I love you.

FRY: I love you too Leela.

[They begin kissing]

LEELA: Lock the door.

FRY: Why? Oh I get it.

[Fry locks the door and the two love birds get busy in the steam room, at the nearby 7-11 Amy is selecting the beer]

AMY: Hmmm…here we go! This stuff is so good it may even get us drunk.

[She buys a case and heads back to the gym with the load. She then gets to the steam room and knocks on the door]

AMY: Hey! Open up in there! What the heck is with you two!

[In the steam room]

FRY: Damn, never enough time.

[Fry lets Amy in and they all get to talking.]

LEELA: Now lets start planning for the wedding.

FRY: Uh, Leela there is something I have to tell you. I am really not very wealthy at all. Your ring took all the money I had from day trading, and I wont get a return on my investments anytime soon. We will have to postpone the wedding.

LEELA: Oh no Fry, we will. There must be some way we can get the money we need.

AMY: I could help you out there.

LEELA: We could never take money from you, I just wouldn’t be right. We will find a way to have a proper wedding, somehow.

FRY: We can’t, unless we get wed in regular clothes at a drive though chapel. If only I wasn’t drugged by mom’s creepy sons and tricked into giving them my pin number. I wonder why they didn’t want me to have those anchovies anyway.

LEELA: Too bad we can’t legally force her to give it all back.

FRY: That is it! We can sue mom and get your money back!

LEELA: That is impossible. Mom will have the best lawyers in the galaxy in her defence.

FRY: Well what do we have to use then?

LEELA: We have the hyper chicken, you know the one that has never won and got you sent to the institute for insane robots.

AMY: I could have my parents hire some really good lawyers.

FRY: We don’t need them, I have an idea, but we are going to need you to pull it off Amy.

[The three of them go to planet express and sit at the conference table.]

AMY: So what is my part in all this?

FRY: We will be our own lawyers. All we have to do is download what we need to know and there you go!

LEELA: I don’t know Fry, it takes a lot more to be a lawyer today than it did 1,000 years ago. The laws are incredibly complex.

AMY: Leela is right, we could never download it all.

FRY: Not alone, but if we all download 1/3 separately and then combine it somehow, we just might have a chance, now who is with me?

ALL: Yeah!

[Fry, Leela, and Amy all download as much info on the lay as they can possibly bare to.]

FRY: Ow!, my brain! That hurt!

LEELA: Yeah it did.

AMY: I hear that.

FRY: Now lets combime, I got everything on lawsuits, now the first thing to know is…

LEELA: I see this will already take too long.

AMY: We can never teach it to ourselves, it will never work.

FRY: Wait, all we have to do is combine minds, just concentrate on combining with everyone else and let the nanites do the rest.

LEELA: Ok here goes

AMY: I don’t know, but here goes.

[Nano tentacles extend from them all and in their minds they plunge into darkness.]

FRY: Hello? Is anyone here?

LEELA: I am

AMY: Me too.

[They say as they approach from behind]

FRY: Ok then, lets just meld together, let down all your defenses

[They all mentally combine into one being]

FRY: So that is why you all spend so long in the bathroom

LEELA: Shut up Fry, we should concentrate on the plan here.

AMY: Right…….although you are kinda cute when you act dumb, reminds me of myself being so clumsy.

LEELA: Hey! Why did you just say that!?

AMY: Oh my God! Did you hear that?

FRY: Yeah we kind of did here, our minds are one remember, no thoughts can be kept secret.

LEELA: Right now onto the task at hand, Amy what did you learn send it to me…… When we win this I will make Fry so happy…Damn!

FRY: Really?

LEELA: Oh no! you heard that! Must think about law…

[It goes on like that for some time. They all learn the entire law and then strategize about how to win the case.]

FRY: Ok, there should be some surveillance tape of them taking the money and not being me, or using me drugged, I don’t really remember what happened it is all a blur.

AMY: I can hack it no problem…….You cute little…Oh crap

LEELA: Just do it, Fry already knows what will happen to him if he wins…………And tonight maybe as well…damn it!!!

FRY: I like this.

AMY: Alright I am in. now lets see here. Jackpot! I have found a video tape of them tricking you with a poorly made set of a pizza place and using Pamela anderson’s head too.

LEELA: Good start, but we will need more keep looking……… I might need to buy some massage oil for tonight, my back is killing me…Not again. Fry, how come you never seem to mentally blurt out your most secret thoughts?

FRY: I guess you can’t hear them when I think. Remember that my brain has a lot of different frequencies somehow working in one mind.

LEELA: Like a prom dress made from carpet remnants?

FRY: Yes Leela, just like your prom dress.

AMY: Hey look memos!

[A projection of memos appears before them in the darkness]

FRY: Yeah, and they all order what to do with me, hey look at this.

[Fry reads one meno]

FRY: it says here that anchovie oil can lubricate robots almost perminantly, and that if I had one cell I could clone them and send mom’s company into the ground!

LEELA: Do we have any left?

FRY: No but I think I know where to find one cell, keep looking, I am going to log out and get it.

[Fry disappears]

LEELA: Well lets keep looking. Good thing he is not hear, now I will need a nice massage, I think he will like it to. Tonight in the bedroom.

AMY: I heard that…….he is not all the good….

LEELA: I HATE THIS!!!

[On the outside Fry goes into Zoidberg’s office]

ZOIDBERG: Vat are you doing here? It is two in the morning, time for my midnight scuttle.

FRY: Give me your shirt!!!

[Fry takes his shirt and examines it closely]

ZOIDBERG: Oh no, I need that, it is what makes me a doctor, I am nothing now!!! FRY: Here it is, I knew there would be some left.

[Fry takes some fine tweezers and grabs a small cluster of cells off a stain on the shirt.]

FRY: All I have to do now is make a bunch of clones. This should help.

[Fry goes over to a device and inserts the cells]

FRY: Alright now I will just turn on this clone-o-matic and I will be up to my knees in anchovies.

[Fry turns on the device and sets to number of anchovy clones to 9999999999999999. he then activates the machine and anchovies start to spew out and into a tank]

FRY: Perfect, even if the lawsuit is lost I still win. Now to join the others.

[Fry goes to the others and rejoins them in the mind meld.]

FRY: What up?

LEELA (still talking from before): …so what oil did he use on you….

FRY: What oil?

LEELA: Uh nothing.

AMY: I have hit major pay dirt. I have it all, memos, letters, audio recordings, surveillance tapes, accounting records, everything. We cannot loose….I wonder how kif is doing…

LEELA: Oh kif, he is now captain of the nimbus, Zapp is out of the job too.

AMY: What!!! How?

FRY: I duelled him for his command and won. I then gave it to kif.

AMY: Oh I love you Fry!!! Kif must be so happy. I can’t wait to see him!....yep, you are going to be happy tonight, Leela better…..I hate this.

 

[After several more hours the team working out the perfect strategy it was time to set their plan in motion. They all then log out of the mind meld.]

LEELA: Well that was an experience.

AMY: It was weird hearing each others thoughts like that.

FRY: You tell me. Nobody could keep anything secret.

LEELA: Shut up Fry, you heard all of ours and we never heard yours.

FRY: Oh you could have, you just didn’t look. I used pictures to hide any sound.

AMY: What! Where I never saw it!

FRY: It was behind you two.

[Flash back to Leela and Amy looking at Fry, and through Fry’s eyes you see what he thought was going to happen that night being projected behind the two women.]

LEELA: Hey, what is that awful smell?

FRY: Oh I cloned a whole bunch of anchovies from some cells I found on Zoidberg’s shirt.

AMY: Let’s go see them.

[They go into the clone-o-matic room to see Zoidberg in a food coma on the floor]

FRY: Wow, is he dead?

LEELA: No I just downloaded decapodian physiology, I know that for a fact if one eats too much too fast after not eating on a regular basis in….when did he ever eat a good meal?

AMY: I have no idea.

FRY: Not since I was unfrozen.

LEELA: Well, lets just let the device finish, Fry, get some and put them into a can. We have to put our plan into motion.

FRY: Right, I will take care of it. Operation hag destruction begins tomorrow at six in the morning here.

AMY: I will take several anchovies, freeze them and hide them all over town in case something goes wrong with your plan.

[They all go their seprate ways, but Amy is the first to leave the room.]

LEELA: I have to go get some things. Come to my place in an hour. I will make it worth your while.

FRY: Ok.

[Fry and Leela leave the room. Fry gets some of the anchovies, and leela goes to buy a few personal items for the two of them that night. Some time later Fry arrives at Leela’s apartment 1-I.]

FRY: Hello?

LEELA: Right here fry.

FRY: Oh there you are, so what were you planning for tonight? I brought some wine, and these are for you.

[Fry pulls out a large bouquet of very beautiful flowers of many strange and exotic varieties.]

LEELA: Gasp, their beautiful Fry. That is so sweet.

FRY: Not as beautiful as you.

LEELA: I am so tense after sitting like that for so long in mind meld. Can you give me a massage?

FRY: Sure thing no problem, my love.

LEELA: I even got a bottle of massage oil. Just come here and rub it on for me.

[Fry then realizes what will happen and by now hopefully you do too. They awake in each others embrace at five the next morning.]

FRY: Wake up beautiful. It is time to set out plan in motion.

LEELA: Oh, Fry, you don’t have to be rich for me to love you.

FRY: It is not about that, it is about fixing the injustices done to me by the higher powers that be. It is like some sly FOX out there has destined me to never finish what has started and will never give me the chance to finish my story. I just want everything to be different now.

LEELA: Fry, that was so deep and mystifying, I feel the same way. Like it is as if the creator of it all has been fired after the four years we have known each other.

FRY: Good thing that is not possible, it would mean an end of our existence. It would be up to others to keep our existence going. Now that would be weird, they could do anything, but what am I saying that is crazy.

LEELA: Yeah, like Amy being a nun or that janitor being an opera singer.

FRY: come on, lets wash off, that oil is all over me.

LEELA: we should take a shower.

FRY: I love you leela.

[They then go and take a shower together. (again). They then meet up with Amy outside of planet express.]

AMY: All ready to go, the van is ready.

FRY: You mean my hippie van?

AMY: Yeah, I fixed it up last night and out in all the equipment we would need.

LEELA: Good we will need it all, do you have any beer?

FRY: Yeah, I need a pick me up, the nanites are getting a little worn out.

AMY: Sure thing, here.

[Hands them both beer hats]

FRY: Thanks. I needed that.

LEELA: Me too.

FRY: Remember when I thought I was a robot?

LEELA: Yeah, it was so funny when you got totally drunk and passed out.

AMY: You looked so cute, like a cute little drunken angel or something.

FRY: Well, wire me up.

[Amy attaches a bunch of devices to Fry]

AMY: Ok, with these I will be able to hear and see everything you do. And with these I will be able to communicate with you and can communicate back by nano attaching to this transmitter.

FRY: Good, lets go.

[They pull up in front of the global conglomerates headquarters.]

FRY: Here goes, no matter what happens in there keep filming I want all of this on tape.

LEELA: Ok, just try not to get killed, who knows what she may do to you.

AMY: All set, go for it.

[Fry walks into the building and barges in on Mom’s office.]

MOM: What are you doing here? Who are you?

FRY: I am that guy who’s life you ruined when you stole all his money, because he had the last pack of anchovies on the planet, and I was too dangerous.

MOM: Ah yes. I remember you. I had my sons drug and trick you into giving your pin number. Well I have spent your money and you will never get it back!

FRY: Will I, well get a load of these.

[Fry slaps down a bunch of anchovies and their oil splatters on the desk and Mom.]

MOM: How did you get these!?

FRY: I have a source, and have cloned enough to start my own oil company. What is that you said in you memo, one can of anchovy oil can lubricate a robot for an almost indefinite period of time, well I have the oil.

MOM: What do you want from me?

FRY: I want nothing, only to see you suffer when your company drowns in red ink.

MOM: I will have all your friends killed especially the one eyed wench!

FRY: You wouldn’t dare! I love her!

MOM: Love! LOVE! I will tell you something about love, I only love my money and nothing else!

FRY: Quiet hag! I will get my money back ten fold one way or the other.

MOM: GUARDS!!!

[She pushes a button and several huge robots come in heavily armed with Mom’s sons.]

MOM: Stop him!

[The robots grab Fry before he can run and hold him to his knees in front of Mom.]

MOM: Give me that, this threat ends now!

[Mom takes a laser pistol and holds it to fry’s head]

FRY: I thought you were a nice old woman who love all robots.

MOM: HA! Those stupid mechanical suckers are nothing! They are only mindless slaves giving me their money for bad oil and other dumb robot things.

FRY: This is your last chance, if I die all the anchovies die with me!

MOM: Good, but first lets make him suffer, robots command, savagely beat!

[The huge robots begin to savagely beat he life out of Fry, blood and teeth fly everywhere, meanwhile in the van]

LEELA: NOOOOOO!!!!! I have to help him!!!

AMY: NO!!! you know what he said. He has to go it alone. This is golden evidence.

[Back in the office, Fry is help up before Mom battered and beaten. Blood streams down his face and his arm is broken and lays limp to his side.]

FRY: You will never get away with this. I will make you pay.

MOM: Nobody needs money when they are dead.

[Mom holds a laser blaster to Fry’s quivering fearful head and fires. Half his skull is obliterated and chunks splatter on all nearby. In the van Leela collapses in anguish, and Amy tries to comfort her.]

LEELA: NOOOO!!!! He just can’t be dead!

AMY: I don’t think the nanites can restore your brain like that.

LEELA: We have no idea

[She then breaks down and starts sobbing on the floor of the van.]

LEELA: FRY!!!! You idiot!!! Why didn’t you defend yourself! My only true love is gone forever! Why did you have to do it!

[Amy tries more in vain to comfort Leela in her time of need, but she keeps sobbing more than ever. Back in the office.]

MOM: Get rid of this piece of meat, nothing will ever stand in my way. [The robotic guards take Fry’s limp corpse and dump it into a trash chute. Leela and Amy see what has happened from the van.]

LEELA: We have to go get him before it is too late.

AMY: Alright, the coast is clear, lets go.

LEELA: Wait, there might be more of them. I have to teach you a secret nanite trick.

AMY: What?

LEELA: This…

[Leela activates the super infantry mode she discovered during the war.]

AMY: Far out. How do you do that?

LEELA: You have to concentrate on something that has always fixated your imagination. For Fry it was the most advanced soldier of the 21st century that still used projectile weapons, for me it was the same, because I had no choice in the heat of the moment, now you try, just concentrate.

AMY: Ok, here goes.

[Amy concentrates and first armour and then a sword appear, Amy is them transformed into the perfect image of a samari warrior.]

AMY: Hey this is a rip! Where are my cool weapons!

LEELA: Well that is what fixated you first with practice you should be able to turn into other things, but for now it will do. Come on we have to move.

[They get to the dumpster without opposition, and the get Fry back to the van.]

AMY: No, it is too much, not even the nanites could help him.

LEELA: NOOO!!!! Fry you stupid fool!!! I loved you! That is all that matters nothing else! You didn’t have to do this!

[Just then Fry’s head and body slowly reform as the nanites fix what was destroyed.]

FRY: Hey, I know. I didn’t think it would be that bad though. Lasers hurt.

LEELA: Oh fry! You are alive! I love you!

FRY: I love you too leela. [They begin kissing passionately, Amy glares back at them.]

AMY: Ok you two get a room.

LEELA: Oh, sorry, just got a little caught up in the moment.

FRY: Yeah, so how is plan C coming?

AMY: Well, I will need Bender and some of his less than legal connections, but the rest is ready.

FRY: Good. I will take care of plan A, just drop me off at the courthouse. I have a suit to file, and Leela, how is plan B going?

LEELA: I will need Hermes to requisition some things, but by the end of today Mom will have some friendly competition.

FRY: Excellent, when we combine these three plans we will all have out justice.

[The van stops in front of the courthouse and Fry gets out.]

FRY: Ok I will meet you all soon. I’ll just turbo tube back to planet express. This wont take long.

LEELA: Got it. We will be there.

[The van pulls away and Fry goes into the building to file his suit. He finally manages to get a suit clerk at a desk and files.]

CLERK: How can I help you sir?

FRY: I need to file a lawsuit.

CLERK: Against whom?

FRY: Mom, from Mom’s Friendly Robot Company.

CLERK: Ok, what are the charges?

FRY: Attempted murder, Grand theft of over 4 billion dollars, emotional damages to both myself and others, don’t worry I will find some more.

CLERK: Ok, your suit is filed, court starts in a few days. Have a nice funeral.

FRY: What do you mean by that?

CLERK: You didn’t hear it from me, but ever person who has ever filled a suit has found themselves in orbiting meadows the next day along with friends and loves ones.

FRY: Thanks for the advise, but she has already taken out half my skull, so I think I can handle it.

CLERK: If you say so. Have a nice afterlife. Ha ha ha ha ha

[Fry leaves the building and turbo tubes to Planet Express.]

FRY: What up?

LEELA: Not much, but Amy has given us enough to buy an old oil plant. I will oversee production. Should be up and running by the end of today.

FRY: Good, Amy how is your part coming along?

AMY: I have all the evidence hidden over the web, in the event of the unforeseen mom still gets ruined, and if we win it will be a handy tool to drive up business.

FRY: Good, just be careful, Mom is not someone to mess around with, be on your guard.

[Just then Farnsworth blunders into the room.]

FARNSWORTH: Good news everyone! We have a delivery today.

FRY: Uh, professor we are kind of busy here. If what we are doing works, then we will never have to deliver again.

FARNSWORTH: Well tish tosh, I will just have good old bender do it then. Cold and calculating that is the way nothing to stop him from delivering.

[Cut to the meeting room]

HERMES: Ok everyone I have been noticen a disturbing trend lately. It appears as though there is a rising rate of people staring off blankly at each other instead of listening to me ramble on during the meeting.

[Cut to show Fry, Leela, and Amy staring blankly at each other.]

FRY (telepathically): This stinks, court is in a few days, and the judge has yet to be assigned. Amy do you have any rich person connections you can use to help us?

AMY (telepathically): Gu’h yeah! I can set it up so that judge ginhime is presiding. He owes us so much we could get him to jump though hoops for us.

LEELA (Telepathically): Isn’t that a little on the illegal side?

AMY (telepathically): No not really, nobody could get a conviction anyway. We have the dirt on every judge on earth mars and the better part of the galaxy.

FRY(telepathically): Yeah, Leela. It is not like we are not breaking a rule that mom will try to break soon anyway.

LEELA (telepathically): Good point. If we are going to do this then we will need to have ever possible advantage on our side.

FRY (telepathically): Agreed. Now lets get ready.

[Leela heads off with a hyper tube to the factory they bought. While Fry and Amy are left to do their own parts of the plan. After a long day of working on the case amongst other plans the three of them head home for some much deserved rest.]

AMY: I am tired. See you all tomorrow.

FRY: Is plan C done yet?

AMY: Yep it is all done.

FRY: Good. When do you think Leela will be back?

LEELA: Here. Are you all almost done?

FRY: I still have some more to do, but Amt is done. How is your part going?

LEELA: Well I managed to get some mindless robots without consciousness to begin oil production.

FRY: Good. Well I will see you all in the morning then, see ya.

[They all begin to leave, but Leela walks a little slower with Fry until Amy is out of sight.]

FRY: So, do you want to go on a date tonight?

LEELA: You know I always do.

FRY: Formal or informal?

LEELA: I was thinking of having some fun. How about informal.

FRY: Works for me. Want to go to the hot club?

LEELA: Sure. See you there at nine.

FRY: Alright I will be waiting.

[They both leave and go to their apartments.]

FRY: Oh yeah, I am finally getting things to go my way. I am going to be married, I have more money now, I have nanites, and most of all. Leela loves me.

[At Leela’s]

LEELA: This is so great. I have finally found someone who truly loves me. I mean there are no eye jokes or jokes about my life or apartment. I truly love Fry, and he truly loves me. Most of all I am no longer lonely as long as Fry is around. I just can’t stand to ever loose him.

[At the hot club Leela arrives to find Fry waiting in formal yet casual attire (you know a polo shirt, nice kaki pants, etc.)]

FRY: Hello beautiful. You are looking nice tonight.

LEELA: As do you handsome.

FRY: Lets go in and have some fun.

LEELA: Sure thing.

[The couple go inside and stop at the bar.]

FRY: I am going to get some drinks do you want some?

LEELA: Yeah, strongest they have. I feel really drained.

FRY: Ok then.

[Fry goes up to the bar and orders some strong night time alcohol. While he waits a seductive you woman sits next to him.]

WOMAN: So do you want to dance?

FRY: No, no thank you I am already here with someone else.

[Leela sees what is happening from across the room and gets closer into listening in range.]

WOMAN: My name is Dian. I am a real woman. I suggest you ditch the one eyes freak and go with me.

FRY: I am sorry, but I really think you should leave. She happens to be my fiancé and I love her.

DIAN: Whatever, let me just give you this to remember me by.

[She grabs him and kisses him deeply. Fry struggles to get free and pushes her away violently.]

FRY: That was totally uncalled for! I do not like you in any way! I love Leela and that is it! Now please leave!

DIAN: See ya when it doesn’t work out handsome.

FRY: It will work! And even if it didn’t I would never go out with a freak like you!

[Dian storms off mad that her little pick up did not work. And leaves the building furious. Just then Leela appears from behind Fry and confronts him.]

LEELA: Fry, I saw what just happened.

FRY: Oh my God, you have to understand that…

[Leela grabs Fry and starts kissing him passionately, cutting off what he was about to say.]

LEELA: I saw the whole thing, how you didn’t cave at all, and even defended my honor when she called me a one eyes freak. There is no doubt in my mind I love you more than ever Fry.

FRY: Wow, well now that that is over do you want to dance?

LEELA: I would love to.

[Just then a slow song starts up and the two love birds leave to bar to hit the dance floor. They hold each other gently and rock back and forth with the beat, staring deeply into each others eyes saying telepathically how much they really mean to each other.]

LEELA: I have never felt this close to anyone in my life.

FRY: I also have never felt this close, it may have been close physically, but I never had a connection like this with anyone I ever knew.

LEELA: I love you Fry. FRY: I love you Leela, how about we ditch this place and go for a nice walk?

LEELA: I have a better idea, my place at eleven, it will make it worth your while.

[They both leave in seprate cabs, Leela heads home, but Fry tells his driver to drop him off at Leela’s at eleven.]

[At eleven Fry arrives at Leela’s and opens the door. He notices the room is dim and then hears Leela’s voice calling him into her bedroom. Fry enters to see her in a seductive outfit like from the end of parasites lost.]

LEELA: Hello Fry, come on in.

[Fry and Leela are about to get busy when there is a knock at he door.]

FRY: Never enough time. Ok I am coming.

[Fry hears Amy on the other side of the door]

AMY: Fry!!! Help me!!! I can’t stop them! AHHHH!!!!!!

[Amy’s blood curdling scream sends shudders down Fry’s spine. Just then huge robots who’s armor is only surpassed by their firpower.]

ROBOT: You have filed a lawsuit against mom, now you die.

[The robots fire strait into Fry’s undefended chest causing him to fall to the ground in pain. Leela comes running out of her room after hearing the commotion.]

LEELA: AHH!!! What do you want?

ROBOT: To destroy you all…

LEELA: WHY?

ROBOT: I have been sent by mom to neutralize the lawsuit threat. Now you die.

[The robot shoots and kills Leela. Her blood splatters on the wall as she is trown against it by the concussion of the blast. Her limp body then slowly slides down the wall leaving a large trail of blood. She is then plunged into darkness.]

AMY: Hello? Where am I? am I dead?

FRY: No, this is the void that is an ascended level of our minds. This is where we can visually see each other when we sleep, and knocked out cold, or are regenerating after death. Hey, that flowerpot wasn’t there before.

LEELA: Yeah, I know. I thought the dark void could use a woman’s touch.

AMY: So how do you know so much about this place?

LEELA: Lets just say that we found out all too much about it first when my place was infested by owls.

FRY: Yeah, here it is like the person is really there. To you there is no real difference.

LEELA: You can say that again.

AMY: Hey, how did you get a flower pot here anyway?

LEELA: You think therefore it materializes. Watch.

[Leela thinks and a conference table appears]

FRY: Yeah, I could go for a good sit.

AMY: Me too.

LEELA: I hope we regenerate soon. Do you feel it getting colder in here?

AMY: Yeah, this is weird. It smells too.

FRY: Well, you do know that even here we are able to feel external stimuli still.

AMY: What the heck could be so cold and smelly?

LEELA: Aw crap I think I am coming to, see ya.

[Leela is pulled into the recesses of the void soon followed by Fry and Amy.]

[Her eye began to flutter as it adjusted to the lights. She then saw a looming figure above her.]

ZOIDBERG: Ah, yes they are coming to.

FARNSWORTH: Well my nanites are proving most useful for the tree of them.

LEELA: Where am I?

FARNSWORTH: I don’t know anymore.

HERMES: We found you in Leela’ apartment. You all were more dead than common decency there.

FARNSWORTH: How true.

[The professor then takes off what he is wearing and walks away. All shudder at the sight.]

FRY: Well it is good that we are back and all, but we can’t sue them without evidence of what has happened.

LEELA: Not quite. I have it all on tape.

AMY: Really, let me see.

LEELA: OK.

[Leela puts the tape into the vcr of the nearest TV and at first film of Fry and Leela together is shown, but is then covered by Leela when she steps in front of the screen.]

LEELA: uh, let me just fast forward a bit here.

[Leela fast forwards to the part where they are all killed.]

FRY: Man I looked totally wimpy when I got killed.

LEELA: Yeah, I mean look at me. I dodn’t even think to get a blaster, not that it would matter.

AMY: Well I get killed the coolest. I had all my cool samari regalia on.

FRY: So Leela never taught you to form more complex outfits?

AMY: Not yet. She didn’t have enough time to teach me when we had to grab your lifeless corpse out of that dumpster.

FRY: Good point. Well we have more evidence. What day is it anyway?

HERMES: It has been about two days mon.

LEELA: What! We have court at nine!

AMY: it is like 6:30 in the morning! We have to move it!

FRY: Lets go! Grab the evidence.

AMY: I have it all on my computer.

LEELA: Good, we can compile and strategize more at the courthouse. Lets go.

FRY: To the hippie mobile!

[Cut to some cheep batman music, Fry, Leela, and Amy all arrive at he courthouse 30 minutes later.]

FRY: Ok I will get some beer, you two make some more progress with the case evidence and presentation.

AMY: Ok, it should be done at nine, but we will have to work on how we present it.

LEELA: I have a plan for that.

[Fry runs to the nearest 7-11 and gets a case of strong alcohol, Amy and Leela both work with the computer to finish the presentation. At nine they are all in formal attire in front of the presiding judge, whom Amy pulled a few strings to get.]

JUDGE: Will the prosecution make its case for attempted murder please.

FRY: Yes your honor. I would like to present these videos taken with remote cameras of mom attempting to kill us.

[Fry puts the videos into a television and the tapes play of Fry being brutally beaten and killed by mom along with what transpired at Leela’s]

FRY: I believe the evidence speaks for itself your honor.

JUDGE: Indeed it does in a graphic and morbid way. Does the defense have a defense against this evidence?

DEFENSE: No we do not your honor. There is no possible way around this evidence.

JUDGE: Ok then, what evidence does the prosecution have that mom stole over 4 billion dollars from a Mr. Phillip J. Fry?

LEELA: We have evidence exhibits B through ZZ of accounting records for the money in question, memos detailing how to go about the extraction of the money, a video of mom telling her boys to steal the money. Another video of why mom wants them to steal the money, a video of the boys tricking the code out of Fry for his atm pin number, them taking all the money and ditching the drugged Fry in a gutter, and even a haicoo made by mom herself about how happy she is to have taken all of Fry’s money. Need I go though the rest?

JUDGE: I would recommend it counselor.

[NINE hours later Leela finishes telling about all the evidence in great detail. Everyone in the courtroom has passed out of brain overload, and come to shortly after Leela finishes talking.]

JUDGE: In light of the overwhelming evidence I will give the Defendant a chance to defend themselves.

DEFENSE: Your honor, it is always tricky when you are using this evidence, I mean there is so much of it that it all seems hopeless…I can’t take it anymore!

[He jumps out the window onto the street below, however the courtroom is on the first floor, so he just gets up and walks away.]

JUDGE: As I can’t take anymore of the one eyed woman, I hereby rule that mom is to pay the plaintiff Phillip J. Fry the sum of 500 Billion dollars for emotional and financial damages. I also sentence mom to 10 years in prison for four counts of attempted murder.

MOM: NOOOOO!!!! I will kill you all!!!

[Mom then pushes a button on a transmitter from in her braw and all the robots go crazy. Amy then pulls out her laptop and keys away trying to do something.]

FRY: We have to get out of here!

LEELA: I will hold them off, Fry help me.

[Fry and Leela transform into super soldiers again and begin to take out the robots.]

FRY: Amy, come on we have to get out of here, lets go!

AMY: This has to stop now, I have hacked the earth satellite network and I just have to send the uninstall data for the kill programming in each of the control chip in all the robots.

LEELA: Can’t we just go and do that later?

AMY: No every robot on the planet is the same. Just a little more.

FRY: we cannot stop them for much longer, I am running low on amm!

AMY: GOT IT!!!! They should stop in a few minutes.

LEELA: MINUTES!!! We only have a few seconds until we cannot get out of here.

FRY: That is it, we have to go! To the van!

[They all run down the halls of the court house taking out robots as they flee. Once they reach the van they find that it has been destroyed, and just as they run out of ammo all the robots close in on them]

FRY: Well I never thought it would end this way.

LEELA: Yeah, me too I mean things were going so great for us.

FRY: Well yeah that, but killed by a horde of insane robots, I seriously never saw this one coming, really.

FRY: I love you Leela.

LEELA: I love you Fry.

[They hold in a final embrace, and just as the robots reach they all shut down.]

AMY: We are alive!

LEELA: YES!!!

FRY: WOO-HOOO!!!!

[Fry and Leela kiss passionately]

[A few days later Fry and Leela are shopping online to find the perfect wedding dress for Leela and tux for Fry. Amy is there too for consulting purposes. They are all standing in a huge white void.]

LEELA: I need a wedding dress.

[Just then with a huge whoosh racks of thousands of styles rush by them. Think matrix]

LEELA: I need it to be elegant, but not too flashy, it still has to show my tougher side. And price is not an object.

[The inventory narrows a bit.]

LEELA: And it must be a bit off white with lace and beads, but not too much.

[Narrows more. Leela spots a dress that looks just like the one from time keeps on slippin.]

LEELA: Perfect! I will take it!

FRY: Ok then, now for me. I need a Tuxedo. Price is no object, must be black and white, very gentleman like, look very suave.

[only one tux appears.]

FRY: Well it look good.

LEELA: It works for me.

AMY: I agree. It will look really good on you.

FRY: Ok then I will take it.

COMPUTER VOICE: Your total comes to 500,000 dollars will that be cash of charge?

FRY: Cash.

COM. VOICE: Thank you. It all will arrive in ten business days.

[Fry, Leela, and Amy log out of the net. They are all in the Planet express building.]

FRY: Well that was easy.

LEELA: Yeah, it was.

FARNSWORTH: Good news everyone we have a delivery today.

FRY: No we don’t.

HERMES: Yes you do. We have over 500 on back order. The hangar is full mon!

FRY: Ok, send it all fed-ex and I will buy planet express.

FARNSWORTH: What? You could never buy this place you are too poor.

LEELA: He has 500 billion dollars and a booming robot oil company, I think Fry has enough to buy planet express.

FRY: Do you take a check?

FARNSWORTH: Yes I do. That will be one billion dollars.

FRY: Done. Here you go nephew.

FARNSWORTH: Now I have enough to replace that dooms day device I let you use in that whole time thing. FRY: in fact while my check book is out. Here you go Zoidberg.

ZOIDBERG: Vat is this paper?

FRY: That is a check. It is for three million dollars. And it is all for you.

ZOIDBERG: Three million! I can buy a hot meal three times a day for the rest of my life. This is the happiest day I ever had!

[Zoidberg then passes out comatose on the floor]

LEELA: I told you that would happen.

AMY: he is ok right?

FRY: Should be. Oh and here you go Bender.

BENDER: What! Ten million! Dreams really do come true.

[Bender then runs off to some far away planet without reason.]

FRY: That was odd. Oh well. Here you go scruffy.

SCRUFFY: Scruffy never felt so happy.

[Turns page of Zero G juggs.]

FRY: I hope you like it.

[Scruffy leaves and the scene cuts to him on a sunny beach in Florida.]

SCRUFFY: Scruffy gonna die the way he always wanted to live.

[Cut back to Planet Express]

FRY: Well that ties up those loose ends. How about we set a date for the wedding?

LEELA: I want it to me on X-mas around the time that we first met.

AMY: ARE YOU INSANE!!! Santa especially kills people who get married on X-mas!

LEELA: No I mean around X-mas as in December 31st.

FRY: I like that idea.

AMY: Oh, ok then. [The story continues as everyone prepares for their wedding. It is now December 25th.]

FRY: merry X-mas Leela.

LEELA: Merry X-mas Fry.

FRY: You know, there is something I just have to do yet. For the sake of humanity itself.

LEELA: What?

FRY: This.

[Fry transforms into an ultimate soldier with jetpack, super gun, and heavy armor.]

LEELA: What are you doing?

FRY: Fixing this insane sac religious holyday.

LEELA: No! you can’t go out there! You will be killed!

FRY: It is just something I have to do.

[Fry takes off and flies though a window]

FRY: Wish me luck!

LEELA: NOOOOO!!!!! Good luck. God speed my love.

[Fry flies strait for Santa’s sleigh]

SANTA: HO! HO! HO! Ah Fry, you have been very naughty this year, you have had premarital relations with Leela way too many times, and have stolen evidence to bring down mom. Time to get jolly on your naughty ass.

FRY: I am from 1,000 years ago, and you are an abomination to this holy day! Time to meet your maker Santa!

SANTA: Fool! He has been dead for over a hundred years now!

FRY: Take this you feind!

[Fry blasts Santa with a grenade, and he shatters.]

FRY: That was way too easy.

[just then the shattered fragments melt and reform (think Terminator two).]

SANTA: HA! You cannot defeat me!

[After a long and drawn out fight Fry is out of ammo and cornered about to be killed by Santa.]

FRY: How can you do this.

SANTA: you do what you love and I love to kill! Now you die!

[Santa raises his laser cannon and it charges about to vaporize Fry. Just then he is crushed into dust by a giant round metal foot.]

BENDER: What do you think of me now world!

FRY: MY god bender! You are like 500 feet tall!

BENDER: you get what you pay for.

[Santa then reforms and runs away]

FRY: We have to stop him!

BENDER: Why should I?

FRY: do you want to some weapons to go along with your new body?

BENDER: get on! We have move it!

[Fry gets on and a huge flame comes out of bender’s ass. They take off after Santa.]

FRY: you don’t mind if I assimilate some of your body do you?

BENDER: Your paying for it.

FRY: done!

[Fry goes into a trace and a huge moving mass of black nanites like ants come out of Fry and begin to assimilate bender’s new body. They are forming some kind of a large weapon.]

BENDER: What the hell are you doing back there!?

FRY: Speed up! I have to get this just right.

[Fry pushes a button and a huge missile fires off bender’s back it travels at an incredible speed after Santa’s sleigh.]

SANTA: NOOOOO!!!!!!!

[The huge missile explodes vaporizing the tyrannous robot, destroying him forever. Fry then returned to earth to find that he is a planetary hero. He receives over 10 billion in bounty reward. With that money Fry made some key upgrades to the ship.]

LEELA: I thought you were a goner for sure!

FRY: Yeah, too bad I had to ruin most of benders new body to do it though.

BENDER: No problem money bags. The new body will be ready soon anyway. Then I can take down Nixon in the next election.

FRY: Good. Just another loose end to tie up, and this time we will all make sure we vote. That bastard will not win this time. I still can’t believe he made us conquer sphereon and made it all out to be self defense.

LEELA: well the wedding is in a few days. I hope you are ready for the big day.

FRY: Leela, I was always ready.

LEELA: This time it will be different. Sorry for what I said when we all skipped forward in time like that. I was confused, and I have been tricked so many times it was the first ting I could think of.

FRY: Leela, I forgave you long ago for that.

LEELA: I love you Fry.

FRY: I love you too Leela.

[a few days later everyone is at he wedding which looks just like what happened during time keeps on slippin. Minus the globetrotters. (Who the hell came up with that anyway, I mean really?)]

PREACHER BOT: I now pronounce you man and wife. You may now kiss the bride.

[Fry and Leela kiss passionately. Everyone cheers. They then go to a hover limo outside and get in as rice is being thrown at them. They then go to the docks to get onto the Titanic three (cliché I know.)]

FRY: Well we are in first class honeymoon suite.

LEELA: Lets go Phillip.

FRY: Sure thing Toronga. (Note: from now on Fry is to be called Phillip and Leela is now called Toronga. Leela Fry is just a little too weird sounding.)

[Phillip carries Toronga over the threshold and Toronga goes to get “ready”. Phillip goes to get some Champaign from the bar.]

PHILLIP: I need your best champagne for my beautiful new wife.

BAR TENDER: Here you are sir. It is 3,000 a bottle.

PHILLIP: Take a check?

BAR TENDER: Sure thing sir.

[Phillip gets the champagne and goes back to the room to find that there have been a few changes. The room is now dim and candles adorn every surface providing the only light. Phillip then sees a trail of flower pedals leading to the bedroom. Phillip follows it and comes into the room to find Toronga in seductive lingerie on the bed waiting for phillip.]

TORONGA: Come here my husband.

PHILLIP: Yes my love.

[They then begin to get to consummating the marriage, when there is a violent shock that rattles the ship knocking the two true loves to the floor on top of each other.]

PHILLIP: Never enough time.

TORONGA: Life threatening situation?

PHILLIP: Isn’t it always?

TORONGA: Race you to the last escape pod.

PHILLIP: Last one there sacrifices themselves.

TORONGA: Your on.

 

[THE END]

EPOLOGUE: well this is the end of part four of my giga-series of fan fics. Too long to get it all, trust me part five will be done by march 23, 2003. if not up by then have Grahm encode it faster. E-mail me comments about this story, my address is Getak2003@hotmail.com.

Buddies