(based partially on several Friends episodes)
Part One: And Lizzie Brought a Casserole
She's his yellow brick road,
Leading him on and letting him go
As far as she lets him go,
Going down to nowhere.
She puts on her make-up
The same way she did yesterday,
Hoping everything's the same
But everything has changed.
In my mind
Everything we did was right
Open your eyes; I'll still be by your side.
How could I ever have been so blind?
You give me something to sleep to at night.
Something to Sleep To by Michelle Branch
Note: This takes place right after My So-Called
Best Friend's Wedding, so if you haven't read it, I suggest doing so.
Otherwise, you won't get it and I'd really rather not explain who Lizzie is. Not
that I'd be doing so to many, seeing as I think around four people actually read
my work, but still! Anyways, thanks for reading.
Scene: The morning after in Fry's bedroom at the Saxon Mansion.
(The camera focuses on the curtain blowing in the wind from the open window.)
Lizzie: (OS) Well, well, well
what a pleasant surprise.
(Focus on Leela and Fry, who immediately bolt awake.)
Lizzie: I come back expecting to marry the so-called love of my life and find him in bed with a little skank
it's not what it looks like! Leela was just
aw, hell, you're right.
Leela: Lizzie, please try to understand-
Lizzie: You have no right to address me so informally! You are a guest in my house and my patience has all but run out.
Leela: Elisabeth, I'm so sorry you had to find us like this.
Lizzie: So am I.
Leela: But you can't just expect Fry not to go searching for something to cling to after you walked out on him.
Lizzie: I thought relationships were based on trust.
Fry: Look, Lizzie-
Lizzie: No, you listen! I trusted that you'd be waiting here for me, and look
what I find you doing.
Leela: Trust? You should talk, lady.
Lizzie: I beg your pardon!
Leela: You have no right to come and demand from Fry what you yourself cannot fulfill.
Lizzie: (fake) I
I, I don't know what you're talking about.
Leela: I think you do.
Fry: What are you two talking about?
Lizzie: Nothing, sweetheart. Now, if Leela will kindly get dressed and join me in the hall.
(She steps out. Leela gets out of the bed and gathers up her clothes. She begins to get dressed, although thankfully we can't see anything.)
Fry: What's going on here?
Leela: Nothing. Look, Fry, last night was a mistake.
Fry: Yeah, I guess.
Leela: You obviously still love Lizzie, and I can't take that away from you.
Leela: I don't want to be the one who destroys a relationship. That's your job.
(By now, she's fully clothed. Fry is left sitting up in bed, very confused.)
Fry: Leela, you're not letting me finis-
Leela: I shouldn't be here. I'm gonna go talk to Lizzie now, so the two of
you can work things out. See ya.
(She lets herself out. Fry stares disdainfully at the door and sighs.)
Cut to Leela and Lizzie in the hall.
Lizzie: How did you find out?
Leela: Amy caught you and the priest
Lizzie: Oh god.
Leela: Neither of us told Fry, so he has no knowledge of it.
Lizzie: Thank goodness. I thought my marriage was off.
Leela: You mean, you're still going to marry him?
Lizzie: Of course.
Leela: That's terrible! You don't deserve him!
Lizzie: You just want me to throw away the most amazing man in the universe
so he can come back to you? It's you who doesn't deserve him. You made him feel
worthless. He needed me to heal the damage.
Leela: I know I don't deserve him, but neither do you. And I'm not cheating on him.
Lizzie: Look, Leela. I'll break things off with Warner, I promise. Don't take my fiancée away from me.
Leela: I have no intention of doing so, but I do have one favor to ask.
Leela: Tell Fry about you and Warner.
Lizzie: I can't!
Leela: Then I will.
Lizzie: No! Please! He's all I've ever wanted. Don't ruin this for me.
Leela: Why not? You did the same for me. The day after your little "outing" I was going to tell him how I felt. I've been miserable and depressed ever since. You have no right to just show up and
take something so precious away from me.
Lizzie: Fine. I'll tell him.
Leela: And let him choose between us.
(Leela puts out her hand.)
Leela: Shake on it.
(Lizzie reluctantly shakes her hand.)
Leela: It's been a pleasure doing business with you.
Cut to a bit later.
(Leela has changed from her gown to normal clothes. She is going down the stairs,
when Amy stops her.)
Amy: Hey Leela.
Leela: Oh, hi Amy.
(Amy grabs her and pulls her into the bathroom. She shuts and locks the door.)
Amy: So what's up?
Leela: What do you mean?
Amy: Oh, come on! You know what I mean.
Leela: No, I don't.
Amy: (rolls eyes) Did you and Fry
Amy: I'm just wondering. I mean, you didn't leave his room last night.
Leela: You noticed?
Amy: G'uh. As if it was well concealed.
(Leela freaks out and begins stroking the bottom of her ponytail ala Leela's
Leela: Oh no. What are the Saxons going to do? I'm dead meat.
Amy: So you did do the forbidden dance!
(Leela breaks down and sits down.)
Leela: (tearfully) Yes!
Amy: Shmeesh. I figured you'd wait at least a day
Leela: Amy! Oh, what am I going to do?
Amy: Just forget about it. We'll be home soon and you can explain it all there.
Leela: It's not that simple.
Amy: You told him what was up with Lizzie and the priest, right?
Amy: You didn't?
Leela: It never came up. And you should have seen how sorry he looked when Lizzie walked in on us.
Amy: Lizzie knows? Wow. I can't believe you haven't skipped town yet.
Leela: I had to stay. I have to patch things up between them. And I can't let her let loose how she found us
Amy: In a very
romantic, yet awkward pose?
Amy: That happened to me the first time Kif stayed over at my parent's house.
Amy: Oh, it was no biggie. It's not like they haven't found me that way before.
Leela: Amy, as comforting as that is, you don't need to go on.
Amy: Oh sorry. So you're just gonna forget it ever happened?
Leela: That's the plan.
Amy: What about you and Fry?
Leela: I have no idea. I guess he's just gonna choose between Lizzie and me.
Amy: Wow. You don't sound too optimistic.
Leela: It's not that I'm worried about how I'll act if he marries Lizzie. I'm worried about what might happen if he picks me.
Amy: You mean another divorce?
more like my parents' reaction.
Amy: Don't they like Fry?
Leela: Yeah, but what would they think if they come to say goodnight to me and Fry's there?
Amy: Just stay at his apartment.
Leela: But they'd know I was missing.
Amy: Good point.
Leela: It's like I can't win.
you could always have him do the same thing that guy from Pearl
Harbor did in his other movie.
Amy: You know, the really hot guy in 40 Days and 40 Nights.
(Leela gives her a blank expression.)
Amy: Spl'uh. Nobody watches classic movies anymore. It's about a guy who promises not to have sex for forty days and falls in love with this girl.
Leela: Too bad Fry'd never go for that
Amy: What makes you think he wouldn't?
Leela: Amy, it's Fry.
Amy: Good point.
Leela: I guess I'll just have to hang on and hope for the best.
Amy: (smiling) Good luck.
Scene: Later downstairs.
(Everyone is sitting in the living room, reclining.)
Madison: So, Philip, when do you and Elisabeth plan on getting married?
Fry: Well, actually
Lizzie: (rushed) Fry, I have to talk to you!
(She grabs him and pulls him into the kitchen where Serena and Bender are making out.)
Serena: (embarrassed) Mistress Elisabeth, I was just
making a casserole for your mother.
Lizzie: Don't worry about it, Serena. You and Bender go have fun. I'll take care of it.
(Serena and Bender leave the room.)
Fry: So what's up?
Lizzie: How much do you love me?
Fry: I dunno
a lot, I guess.
Lizzie: Good. I have something I have to tell you.
Lizzie: Don't be upset, but I haven't been completely honest with you.
Fry: Well, neither have I.
I'm having an affair.
Fry: You're what?
Lizzie: It's just that
well, I didn't know the priest was my ex-boyfriend and-
Fry: I can't believe you!
Lizzie: But you slept with Leela!
Fry: Because I
well, it's not important. But how could you?
Lizzie: I didn't know I still had feelings for him.
Lizzie: Here, let's just forget about what I did with Warner and what you did
with Leela and get on with our lives.
Fry: I don't think I can ever trust you again.
Lizzie: What are you saying?
I think we should see other people.
Lizzie: So you're just gonna go back to Leela?
Fry: I didn't say that.
Lizzie: Well, it's me or her. You can't just abstain.
Fry: Why not?
Lizzie: Because both of us love you and you must love one of us back.
I just need some time to think, okay?
Lizzie: Good idea. We'll go back to New New York and work this whole thing out.
Fry: No, I think I'll go back to New New York.
Lizzie: You mean this is it?
Fry: I can't say for sure, but at the moment, yes.
Lizzie: I understand.
(He starts to leave the room.)
Lizzie: Could you help me with this casserole? I've never cooked before in my life.
Fry: (smiling) Sure.
Cut to about fifteen minutes later.
Fry: No problem.
(They dish up the casserole onto the plates. Fry takes two and is about to go out.)
Lizzie: Fry? One more thing. Don't forget about Leela. She loves you more than
(Everyone is seated at the Saxon's long table. Madison and Cale are seated
at either end. Lizzie is sitting next to her father with Fry on her right. Leela
is seated across from Fry, next to Zoidberg. They are about to eat, when Madison
axes her daughter a question.)
Madison: Have you and Philip set a date for your wedding yet?
Fry: Not exactly.
Madison: What about the twelfth? That's the day your great, great grandmother was born. It'd be such a joy to celebrate two things on one day.
Madison: And there would be time to get in those roses you always wanted for your wedding. You know, the pretty ones we saw on our holiday on Melicina?
Madison: You were only six then, but I'm sure you'll remember how you told your father and I they were the most beautiful blossoms you had ever seen.
Amy: Aren't those really expensive and rare and endangered?
Cale: Nothing's too good for our little blossom. Isn't that right, Maddie?
Madison: Oh, of course. Darling, you simply must set a date soon. I don't want your dress to go out of style. Otherwise we'd have to order a brand new one from Milan 16. And that's quite far away.
Though, I daresay they could always get one of those special companies to ship it overnight, should we come into that predicamen-
Lizzie: Mom! There is no wedding!
Madison: Sweetheart, there is a wedding. You're talking nonsense. Now dear, you must be tired from your trek. It's not everyday you run away. I'm sure you're just parched.
Lizzie: I'm not kidding.
Madison: Of course you are, darling. Why wouldn't there be?
Cale: Don't tell me this is about Philip's mistake at the altar. Honey, we can't all be perfect.
Lizzie: It's not that. It's just that
Madison: What, sweetie?
(Lizzie works up some fake tears.)
Lizzie: He cheated on me!
Lizzie: With Turanga!
(The PE crew responds with several "Omigod!"s and other exclamations, save for Amy.)
Madison: Oh dear heavens!
Cale: Elisabeth, this had better not be a joke to place revenge on Turanga. You know it wasn't her fault at the altar.
Lizzie: I'm not kidding. I came home this morning, I went into to his room
and I saw them there, basking in the afterglow.
(Madison starts to cry.)
Cale: Philip, I would prefer if you left soon. Preferably by tomorrow morning.
Fry: Yes, sir.
Madison: I can't believe it. All I ever wanted was for my little girl to get married. And now it's all been ruined by a little slut!
Cale: Well, nothing else can go wrong
(He takes a bite of his casserole and promptly spits it out.)
(Serena runs in.)
Serena: Yes, master?
Cale: How could you poison this household with this dreadful tripe?
Serena: I, I
Cale: This is absolutely unacceptable. I want you gone from this house by tomorrow,
Serena: Y-yes, sir.
Bender: Hey! You have no right to treat her that way!
Cale: I advise you to turn down your volume, robot.
Bender: I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that. Serena didn't make the casserole!
Cale: Who else could have?
(No one says a word.)
Cale: My point. And even if she didn't create this
slop. I want her gone. She's always been nothing but a nuisance. Now, I believe it's time we all retired.
(Everyone leaves the table and heads to their respective rooms. Kif stops Amy on the way to the attic.)
Kif: Amy, about that question I've been meaning to ask you
Amy: (expectantly) Yes?
Kif: I can't wait any longer so I'm going to ask you now and I'm praying the answer's yes.
(Kif and Amy speak the next two lines at the same time.)
Kif: Do you think I should throw Zapp a birthday party?
Amy: I do.
Kif: Great! I was going to ask you a while ago, but I felt kind of embarrassed, seeing as he mistreats me any chance he gets. But I still feel compelled to so something for him.
(Amy slaps her forehead.)
Amy: I knew it was too good to be true.
Scene: The next morning.
(Everyone is getting onto the ship. Fry and Leela make absolutely no eye contact. Serena tearfully walks up to Bender.)
Serena: Oh, Bender, I don't know if I can correctly perform without you.
Bender: Yeah, I'll miss you too. What are you gonna do now that you're fired?
Serena: I don't know. Maybe turn myself into one of the Flesh Fairs.
Bender: Aw, baby, don't do that
Why doncha just come back to Earth with
yes, I think that would work.
(She and Bender head toward the ship.)
Bender: Hey Fry! You're gonna hafta find somewhere else to live. The apartment's full.
Fry: Yeah, whatever, Bender.
(Lizzie comes up to him.)
Lizzie: This is it.
Fry: Yeah, so long.
Lizzie: I'm really sorry for all the trouble I caused.
Fry: It's okay. We had some good times.
so I guess you'll go out with Leela, then?
Fry: Honestly, I don't know. I know I love her, but she thinks what we did was a mistake.
Lizzie: Aw, don't listen to her. She loves you. You'll see.
Fry: See ya. And don't worry, you'll find that special someone.
(He boards the ship.)
Cut to Leela getting the ship started.
Leela: Is everybody here?
Amy: Looks like it.
Leela: Okay then. All systems go!
(She starts the ship up and they fly off into space.)
Cut to a little later.
(Amy greets Fry in the hall.)
Amy: Hey, Fry.
Fry: Oh, hi.
Amy: So, what's up?
Fry: Nothing new. Why do you ask?
Amy: G'uh! I wanna know what's up with you and Leela.
Fry: Nothing is going on.
Amy: Don't try that with me. I know there's something there.
Fry: All I know is I love her, but she thinks what we did was a mistake
it was an amazing mistake.
Amy: (rolls her eyes) Fry.
Fry: No, I mean it. She's
wow. Now I know why Zapp's always after her.
Fry: Just hear me out. It was one of the best- hell, it was the best I've ever had
(Ends as Amy covers her ears as Fry describes his encounter with Leela.)
To be continued
Well, that's it for Part One. Part Two should be up soon. Constructive criticism is much appreciated!