Haircuts, Teleporting, and Homicidal Snails part 2
PREVIOUSLY ON FUTURAMA…
"Sweet, I could be right for
once!" Fry exclaims. Leela stares at Fry. "What?" He
looks behind him and sees hundreds of snails on jetpacks with ray
guns coming at him. "Oh, crap."
You’re still here?
Everyone screams like it was the end of
the world. They tremble at the influx of a huge number of seemingly
harmless snails, except for the small jetpacks and extremely deadly
“How did you know, Fry?”
“I dunno,” Fry starts, “but
if you havn’t noticed, I sometimes have an overactive
“You think?” Amy says,
“Where did they even get those things?”
“Fry…” Leela starts,
but before that, a blast hits the tree next to her. It disintegrates
in seconds. They all stare at it with fearful expressions.
“Cheese it!” Bender
exclaims, running off in the direction of the ship.
“Big baby!” Amy yells, when
three more blasts hit the ground and trees surrounding her, “Wait,
I think I left my makeup in the ship!”
“I’m with you, Amy,”
Leela says. Then she looks back to see Fry scared, “Let’s
The two, Leela and Fry of course, run
after Amy, who was running after Bender, who was probably off the
planet by now. They dodge trees, swing over rivers of dangerous
radioactive waste, and even go past a giant T-Rex, which successfully
tempts Fry go back. Then it roars and attempts to eat him, but Leela
pulls him out of the way first. They finally catch up to Amy, who is
still looking for Bender. They keep running, looking back, and
running more. They can still see tons of snails behind them, as far
as they are, but they will catch up. They run, and look back more,
risking bumping into a tree or falling down an acid creek, but they
end up bumping into Bender, who is standing with his arms crossed.
“Bender!” They all yell.
“What?” he asks.
“MOVE!” Amy yells, “We
are going to d-i-e!”
“And that is news how?” he
answers. They blankly stare at him while the snails slowly, but
surely, come forward in the forest. “And we havn’t even
delivered the package yet. AND I want these banapples OUT of my chest
cabinet, because they are starting to get squishy. My internal AC can
only hold out for so long.”
“That is very responsible of you,
Bender!” Leela says.
“I have never been responsible in
my lifetime, Big Boots!” He replies, “Hermes promised me
a raise if we actually delivered the package this time.”
“Oh ” Leela answers, “How
do we get there?”
The foursome think about it, when a
glare hits Leela in the eye. “Ow!” she yells.
Bender laughs hysterically as he shines
the watch to glare into her eye.
“Bender! Stop it with
“This is no time to think about
watching TV Leela!” Fry answers.
“For the second time today, Fry,
they are teleportation devices. Remember? You used them once?”
“Once! He said he used it-“
Amy starts, but Bender muffles her mouth by covering it with a large
leaf. Fry looks back at Bender trying to keep Amy quiet. He sighs and
starts to speak, “Yeah, I remember. I used it—“ He
is cut off by a blast. They all scream again. Leela starts punching
buttons into her watch. She mumbles numbers to herself as she looks
at the UPPS (or Universal and Planetary Positioning Unit for those
who don’t have one) on her wrist-thing.
“Okay, everyone press 50 43 78
112 on their watches!” she orders.
“But I—“ Fry starts,
abruptly interrupted by Leela, and at that time the snails completely
“Now!” She yells. They all
press the commands into their telewatches and are beamed out. Right
after, all the snails fire at once, making a huge explosion and
killing them all.
Scene: Outskirts of the capitol city,
Capitol City. A fter a second, the crew is beamed in. They dust
themselves off and hear a large explosion, which you can see in the
background above the large trees. Fry shrugs while he stares at his
Fry thinks, “I better not get into a life threatening
“Wow,” Leela says, “They
worked! And I found the right coordinates to the front gate, which is
in front of…us…”
They all stare at the 30 foot high
golden gate, which was golden, encrusted with rubies, sapphires,
emeralds, diamonds, and any priceless and valuable jewel known to
existence. But inside was the real eye-popper.
“Behold!” Bender exclaims,
“The city no person has ever described…obviously until
now. The buildings are made of silver, and have clear, diamond
windows. They are much taller than the buildings in New New York, and
there are about 5 times as many. The streets are not lined with the
litter of the Earthican cities, but paved with platinum. The benches,
which are made from the wood of the trees surrounding this great
city, are long and perfect. It is said that the trees from this
planet are the most valuable than anywhere else in the universe.
The cars are much more high tech than
the ones anywhere known, and run on the special fumes emitted from
the trees. The water is the cleanest in all of everywhere, and comes
from the Great Spring in the center of the=2 0city. Their food is
grown here, but some is imported by the greatest delivery services,
who in which many do not return home or make it off, due to the
extremely dangerous threat on the outside—the Snails. The
Snails pose the largest threat to us, and because of that, no one is
allowed to leave the city. Ever. They only wait for someone to free
them from the deadly beasts, so they may roam their planet once
“Wow, Bender, that was
beautiful!” Amy says softly.
“How did you know all that?”
“From this golden plaque I stole
off of the fence.”
They lose their interest in Bender’s
common antics, and turn their attention to the gate. Suddenly, they
hear a deep voice come out of it.
“Who goes there, strangers?”
the mysterious voice asks.
The four look at each other, thinking
whether or not to answer. Then the voice speaks again.
“If you do not answer, I will
assume that you are either thieves, telemarketers, or harmless Death
Toads. Either way, I am going to blast a large laser in 5…4…3..”
“Wait!” The group says.
“We are from Planet Express, and
we need to make a delivery!” Leela answers.
“Oh…” The voice
says, “We have been waiting for you! Please come in!”
The large gate, which was missing some
jewels…from Bender’s mischief, of=2 0course…opens
spontaneously and sure enough, the four walk inside, amazed at the
view. It was even better than the outside, as if a veil had covered
the true beauty of the odd city that you wouldn’t expect in the
middle of a hostile, deadly planet in the Doom Universe.
“It’s just as though a viel
had covered the true beauty of this odd city that no one would expect
to be in the Doom Universe!” Bender exclaims.
“I wonder if they have Slurm
here…” Fry wonders.
“I don’t care if they have
magnets tortuously attached to my head, as long as they have booze.”
“And a mall!” Amy adds.
“And a boot store, with boots of
gold!” Leela says.
“Are you really that obsessed
with boots, Leela?” Fry asks her.
“No. I just wanted to add to what
you guys were saying, and I couldn’t think of anything else
that I do all the time.”
“How about a nag store?”
Leela just sighs and walks off. Fry
notices and runs after her.
“Leela!” Fry says, panting,
Leela starts to walk faster, trying not
to seem like she is running away.
“Fry--” she starts, but is
“Listen to me!” He snaps,
“I know that I have been a big jerk to you lately…”
“That’s f or sure…”
“…but I’d like to
“Everyone! Everyone!” The
mystery man says, “Time for a feast of friendship!”
“But—“ Fry says.
“Go!” Bender exclaims, “He
said I can have a whole dump truck of beer!” He quickly runs
past Fry, who shuffles and watches Amy and Leela run in. Bender’s
extending arm comes back, grabs Fry, and pulls him to the large,
palace-like building where they would be eating.
Scene: Inside the Feasting Hall. There
are about 3,000 other aliens, who all look humanoid, just with purple
skin and green hair, in the hall alone. In the center is a floating
table where our protagonists sit. The mysterious man sits at the
head, with Fry on his left and Leela to his right, Amy sitting next
to Leela and Bender next to Fry. Fry has his head resting on his hand
as he twirls the foreign food around, with a Slurm next to him,
untouched. Bender guzzles down every cup of beer given to him, while
Leela and Amy chat quietly.
“…he was trying to
apologize, I think, Amy. But he got interrupted by the guy next to
me. What should I do?”
“Just wait for him to get another
chance, and forgive him. He has a small attention span, you know, so
he forgets things easily.”
“Why would he forget that he
loved me? He’s been trying to get with me for the last 320or 4
years now…maybe even more.” Leela says, and in the
meantime puts her hands on her head.
“I don’t know. Maybe he
will tell you. Talk to him on the way home, and I can drive. I will
turn Bender off so he won’t get in the way.”
“Yeah…well thanks. I
“Ok, Planet Express,” The
mystery man says, “First off, I have not formally introduced
myself, and neither have you. I am Melbraxinugounieshinz. But you can
call me Mel. And you are?”
“I’m Captain Turanga Leela,
but I go by Leela, that is Amy Wong, Bender, and Phillip J. Fry, and
he goes by his last name.”
“Well, welcome to you all. And
now I’d like to toast to the people who freed our civilization
from the one thing that keeps us in! The Snails!”
“What about the T-Rexes?”
“Those are our pets; they know
who we are…”
“Oh…also, how did the
snails get those jetpacks and rayguns?”
“From evil telemarketers from
Venus...ooh we despise them."
"He he he..." Fry snickers,
and puts out his hand in which Bender pays him 10 dollars.
"And because of that, we trust you
in full, and we invite you to take anything from the treasure
chamber, even the 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 karat gold
Bender falls over off the floating
platform, crushin g what looks to be, an official of a sort. The room
falls silent as they view the horrible display. Bender gets up and
brushes himself off. Under where he fell is a large, fat alien. He is
crushed and beaten in, and bleeding.
“Ow…” Bender looks
down, then reaches behind him (to his behind) to find a crown, wedged
in. “Sweet…Let me just pocket this…”
The aliens start to cry and sob
hysterically. Mel is staring down, in amazement, shock, and horror.
He starts, “You…You…You killed our king…”
“Uh oh…” Leela
whispers, “Let’s slowly get down for a quick escape.”
The two others agree and climb down the ladder to the floor. Bender
is just staring around the room.
“What?” He looks down,
“He’ll get better…so do I get my gold now, or are
you just gonna keep crying, Mel?”
MELBRAXINUGOUNIESHINZ TO YOU! NOW GET HIM!!!”
“Crap!” Bender exclaims.
“Guys,” Leela says, “just
press the ‘Last’ key on the watch, which will bring us to
the gate! We can get a head start!”
Bender starts to run, after stealing
the king’s jewels and high-tails it out of the building by
teleport. Amy, Fry, and Leela follow. As soon as they reach the
outside the gate, the whole city was furious at the ones who killed
their beloved king.20
They run through the jungle, as fast as
they possibly can run, followed about 100 yards behind by the mob.
They pass everything they saw on the way running from the snails: the
giant mushrooms, gorges, t-rexes, and everything in between. They
reach a clearing where the ship is parked, and Amy and Bender are the
first in. Rocks come flying past Leela and Fry, and Leela is
unfortunate enough for one to strike the watch, breaking it. More
rocks, arrows, sticks, and really anything the aliens could find,
come flying at Fry and Leela. Leela turns and looks back, ducks, then
trips on a twig. Fry continues to run past her when he turns and
notices Leela trying to continue, hopelessly. He quickly stops and
He dodges the various projectiles as he
tries to save Leela. He his quickly hit with a pile of mud, in which
covers most of his right eye, leaving him squinting. He wipes it off
and gets to Leela, when he kneels down.
“You aren’t going to
propose to me, Fry, are you?” Leela asks.
“No...Now hold my hand!” he
says, quickly. She follows and he pushes a button on the telewatch.
The ship starts to leave with out him, but Amy knows what Fry is
doing. Leela holds Fry in a tight embrace as they beam out of the
clearing and disappear. It is a déjà vu-like view as
the aliens throw the deadly projectiles at the beaming Leela and Fry,
only for the ones across from the circle to get hit by them.
=0 AScene: The Planet Express ship’s
loading dock. A flash of light appears as the two teleport in. Leela
is still hugging Fry as they enter. He loses conciseness and falls to
the ground. Leela kneels over him.
“Fry! Fry!” she yells,
“Wake up!” She picks up Fry’s left hand and looks
at his telewatch. The screen shows a number 21 in red letters with
the word: OVERLOAD flashing below it. Leela starts to tear up and sob
on Fry when the screen fades out…
The End...just kidding.
…Fade in, as if eyes were
opening. Fry awakens in a hospital bed. Looking around, he sees a
heart scanner and the normal items seen in a hospital room. The tv is
set to “All My Circuits.” Bender is in the corner chair,
sleeping with the remote in his hand. Fry smiles slightly. He then
slowly turns his head to his right to see Leela leaning against the
bed, sleeping. He says softly, cracking a bit, “This seems a
little familiar, doesn’t it?”
Leela opens her eye slowly, then she
opens it quickly in both disbelief and relief to see Fry alive and
awake. She hugs him and Fry seems surprised at first, but then hugs
her softly back.
“I thought you wouldn’t
make it…” she started, crying.
“I’m fine, Leela,” he
starts, interrupted by a quick soft kiss on his cheek. “and I’m
sorry, I don't de serve that kiss.”
“For breaking your heart.”
Leela sighs, “Fry, I know you
love me. And the truth is…I kind of do too. But I don’t
think I am ready yet. And I don’t think you are, either. You
aren’t the most mature person I know. That’s for sure.
And it may take time to be that guy. You’re sweet, but childish
and forgetful sometimes. I just think you need to thin you’re
life out. I mean, you just dropped me for that other girl and I cant
believe that you would do that. If you really loved me, you wouldn’t
have one and found another girl, and you would have waited. And…and…”
Another tear starts to form in her eye. Fry holds her hand.
“Leela, I am truly sorry. I was a
jerk. I guess that after Lars died, I thought you wouldn’t love
me…because I was him…And I guess I was wrong. If you
ever forgive me, and if I ever regain your trust…I may just
have your heart. Now…I think we should take this slow…by
just being friends again.”
“I guess so.” She says,
“you have to be mature to say something that thoughtful, and I
know you aren’t just making this up. I forgive you.” She
thinks about what they both just said, and they stare at each other
for a while. Leela gives Fry another kiss on the cheek. "You
deserve that one."
“So…do es this mean
that…we’re dating?” he says, smiling. Leela stares
at him. “I’m just kidd—“
“I think that we may be able to
give it a shot.”
Fry grins ear to ear. He even laughs a
bit and Leela knows what he is thinking. She even laughs at the
thought she was actually dating Fry. Fry, who she ignored for 8
“Now don’t ever do that
again…almost dying,” Leela says.
“I make no promises when I am
employed with Planet Express…but now that we are together, I
won’t let that happen.”
The End...for real.