Futurama

Fan Fiction

Haircuts, Teleporting, and Homicidal Snails part 2
By Smarty

PREVIOUSLY ON FUTURAMA…

"Sweet, I could be right for once!" Fry exclaims. Leela stares at Fry. "What?" He looks behind him and sees hundreds of snails on jetpacks with ray guns coming at him. "Oh, crap."

-Opening Credits-
You’re still here?


Everyone screams like it was the end of the world. They tremble at the influx of a huge number of seemingly harmless snails, except for the small jetpacks and extremely deadly ray guns.

“How did you know, Fry?” Leela asks.

“I dunno,” Fry starts, “but if you havn’t noticed, I sometimes have an overactive imagination.”

“You think?” Amy says, “Where did they even get those things?”

“Telemarketers?” Fry answers.

“Fry…” Leela starts, but before that, a blast hits the tree next to her. It disintegrates in seconds. They all stare at it with fearful expressions.

“Cheese it!” Bender exclaims, running off in the direction of the ship.

“Big baby!” Amy yells, when three more blasts hit the ground and trees surrounding her, “Wait, I think I left my makeup in the ship!”

“I’m with you, Amy,” Leela says. Then she looks back to see Fry scared, “Let’s go, Fry!”

The two, Leela and Fry of course, run after Amy, who was running after Bender, who was probably off the planet by now. They dodge trees, swing over rivers of dangerous radioactive waste, and even go past a giant T-Rex, which successfully tempts Fry go back. Then it roars and attempts to eat him, but Leela pulls him out of the way first. They finally catch up to Amy, who is still looking for Bender. They keep running, looking back, and running more. They can still see tons of snails behind them, as far as they are, but they will catch up. They run, and look back more, risking bumping into a tree or falling down an acid creek, but they end up bumping into Bender, who is standing with his arms crossed.

“Bender!” They all yell.

“What?” he asks.

“MOVE!” Amy yells, “We are going to d-i-e!”

“And that is news how?” he answers. They blankly stare at him while the snails slowly, but surely, come forward in the forest. “And we havn’t even delivered the package yet. AND I want these banapples OUT of my chest cabinet, because they are starting to get squishy. My internal AC can only hold out for so long.”

“That is very responsible of you, Bender!” Leela says.

“I have never been responsible in my lifetime, Big Boots!” He replies, “Hermes promised me a raise if we actually delivered the package this time.”

“Oh ” Leela answers, “How do we get there?”

The foursome think about it, when a glare hits Leela in the eye. “Ow!” she yells.

Bender laughs hysterically as he shines the watch to glare into her eye.

“Bender! Stop it with that…watch…the telewatches!”

“This is no time to think about watching TV Leela!” Fry answers.

“For the second time today, Fry, they are teleportation devices. Remember? You used them once?”

“Once! He said he used it-“ Amy starts, but Bender muffles her mouth by covering it with a large leaf. Fry looks back at Bender trying to keep Amy quiet. He sighs and starts to speak, “Yeah, I remember. I used it—“ He is cut off by a blast. They all scream again. Leela starts punching buttons into her watch. She mumbles numbers to herself as she looks at the UPPS (or Universal and Planetary Positioning Unit for those who don’t have one) on her wrist-thing.

“Okay, everyone press 50 43 78 112 on their watches!” she orders.

“But I—“ Fry starts, abruptly interrupted by Leela, and at that time the snails completely surrounded them.

“Now!” She yells. They all press the commands into their telewatches and are beamed out. Right after, all the snails fire at once, making a huge explosion and killing them all.

Scene: Outskirts of the capitol city, Capitol City. A fter a second, the crew is beamed in. They dust themselves off and hear a large explosion, which you can see in the background above the large trees. Fry shrugs while he stares at his watch.

“Nineteen total…” Fry thinks, “I better not get into a life threatening situation…yeah right.”

“Wow,” Leela says, “They worked! And I found the right coordinates to the front gate, which is in front of…us…”

They all stare at the 30 foot high golden gate, which was golden, encrusted with rubies, sapphires, emeralds, diamonds, and any priceless and valuable jewel known to existence. But inside was the real eye-popper.

“Behold!” Bender exclaims, “The city no person has ever described…obviously until now. The buildings are made of silver, and have clear, diamond windows. They are much taller than the buildings in New New York, and there are about 5 times as many. The streets are not lined with the litter of the Earthican cities, but paved with platinum. The benches, which are made from the wood of the trees surrounding this great city, are long and perfect. It is said that the trees from this planet are the most valuable than anywhere else in the universe.

The cars are much more high tech than the ones anywhere known, and run on the special fumes emitted from the trees. The water is the cleanest in all of everywhere, and comes from the Great Spring in the center of the=2 0city. Their food is grown here, but some is imported by the greatest delivery services, who in which many do not return home or make it off, due to the extremely dangerous threat on the outside—the Snails. The Snails pose the largest threat to us, and because of that, no one is allowed to leave the city. Ever. They only wait for someone to free them from the deadly beasts, so they may roam their planet once more.”

“Wow, Bender, that was beautiful!” Amy says softly.

“How did you know all that?” Fry asks.

“From this golden plaque I stole off of the fence.”

They lose their interest in Bender’s common antics, and turn their attention to the gate. Suddenly, they hear a deep voice come out of it.

“Who goes there, strangers?” the mysterious voice asks.

The four look at each other, thinking whether or not to answer. Then the voice speaks again.

“If you do not answer, I will assume that you are either thieves, telemarketers, or harmless Death Toads. Either way, I am going to blast a large laser in 5…4…3..”

“Wait!” The group says.

“We are from Planet Express, and we need to make a delivery!” Leela answers.

“Oh…” The voice says, “We have been waiting for you! Please come in!”

The large gate, which was missing some jewels…from Bender’s mischief, of=2 0course…opens spontaneously and sure enough, the four walk inside, amazed at the view. It was even better than the outside, as if a veil had covered the true beauty of the odd city that you wouldn’t expect in the middle of a hostile, deadly planet in the Doom Universe.

“It’s just as though a viel had covered the true beauty of this odd city that no one would expect to be in the Doom Universe!” Bender exclaims.

“I wonder if they have Slurm here…” Fry wonders.

“I don’t care if they have magnets tortuously attached to my head, as long as they have booze.”

“And a mall!” Amy adds.

“And a boot store, with boots of gold!” Leela says.

“Are you really that obsessed with boots, Leela?” Fry asks her.

“No. I just wanted to add to what you guys were saying, and I couldn’t think of anything else that I do all the time.”

“How about a nag store?” Bender answers.

Leela just sighs and walks off. Fry notices and runs after her.

“Leela!” Fry says, panting, “Wait!”

Leela starts to walk faster, trying not to seem like she is running away.

“Fry--” she starts, but is quickly interrupted.

“Listen to me!” He snaps, “I know that I have been a big jerk to you lately…”

“That’s f or sure…”

“…but I’d like to say that—“

“Everyone! Everyone!” The mystery man says, “Time for a feast of friendship!”

“But—“ Fry says.

“Go!” Bender exclaims, “He said I can have a whole dump truck of beer!” He quickly runs past Fry, who shuffles and watches Amy and Leela run in. Bender’s extending arm comes back, grabs Fry, and pulls him to the large, palace-like building where they would be eating.

Scene: Inside the Feasting Hall. There are about 3,000 other aliens, who all look humanoid, just with purple skin and green hair, in the hall alone. In the center is a floating table where our protagonists sit. The mysterious man sits at the head, with Fry on his left and Leela to his right, Amy sitting next to Leela and Bender next to Fry. Fry has his head resting on his hand as he twirls the foreign food around, with a Slurm next to him, untouched. Bender guzzles down every cup of beer given to him, while Leela and Amy chat quietly.

“…he was trying to apologize, I think, Amy. But he got interrupted by the guy next to me. What should I do?”

“Just wait for him to get another chance, and forgive him. He has a small attention span, you know, so he forgets things easily.”

“Why would he forget that he loved me? He’s been trying to get with me for the last 320or 4 years now…maybe even more.” Leela says, and in the meantime puts her hands on her head.

“I don’t know. Maybe he will tell you. Talk to him on the way home, and I can drive. I will turn Bender off so he won’t get in the way.”

“Yeah…well thanks. I really…”

“Ok, Planet Express,” The mystery man says, “First off, I have not formally introduced myself, and neither have you. I am Melbraxinugounieshinz. But you can call me Mel. And you are?”

“I’m Captain Turanga Leela, but I go by Leela, that is Amy Wong, Bender, and Phillip J. Fry, and he goes by his last name.”

“Well, welcome to you all. And now I’d like to toast to the people who freed our civilization from the one thing that keeps us in! The Snails!”

“What about the T-Rexes?” Fry inquires.

“Those are our pets; they know who we are…”

“Oh…also, how did the snails get those jetpacks and rayguns?”

“From evil telemarketers from Venus...ooh we despise them."

"He he he..." Fry snickers, and puts out his hand in which Bender pays him 10 dollars.

"And because of that, we trust you in full, and we invite you to take anything from the treasure chamber, even the 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 karat gold bar!”

Bender falls over off the floating platform, crushin g what looks to be, an official of a sort. The room falls silent as they view the horrible display. Bender gets up and brushes himself off. Under where he fell is a large, fat alien. He is crushed and beaten in, and bleeding.

“Ow…” Bender looks down, then reaches behind him (to his behind) to find a crown, wedged in. “Sweet…Let me just pocket this…”

The aliens start to cry and sob hysterically. Mel is staring down, in amazement, shock, and horror. He starts, “You…You…You killed our king…”

“Uh oh…” Leela whispers, “Let’s slowly get down for a quick escape.” The two others agree and climb down the ladder to the floor. Bender is just staring around the room.

“What?” He looks down, “He’ll get better…so do I get my gold now, or are you just gonna keep crying, Mel?”

“THAT’S MELBRAXINUGOUNIESHINZ TO YOU! NOW GET HIM!!!”

“Crap!” Bender exclaims.

“Guys,” Leela says, “just press the ‘Last’ key on the watch, which will bring us to the gate! We can get a head start!”

Bender starts to run, after stealing the king’s jewels and high-tails it out of the building by teleport. Amy, Fry, and Leela follow.  As soon as they reach the outside the gate, the whole city was furious at the ones who killed their beloved king.20

They run through the jungle, as fast as they possibly can run, followed about 100 yards behind by the mob. They pass everything they saw on the way running from the snails: the giant mushrooms, gorges, t-rexes, and everything in between. They reach a clearing where the ship is parked, and Amy and Bender are the first in. Rocks come flying past Leela and Fry, and Leela is unfortunate enough for one to strike the watch, breaking it. More rocks, arrows, sticks, and really anything the aliens could find, come flying at Fry and Leela. Leela turns and looks back, ducks, then trips on a twig. Fry continues to run past her when he turns and notices Leela trying to continue, hopelessly. He quickly stops and turns back.

He dodges the various projectiles as he tries to save Leela. He his quickly hit with a pile of mud, in which covers most of his right eye, leaving him squinting. He wipes it off and gets to Leela, when he kneels down.

“You aren’t going to propose to me, Fry, are you?” Leela asks.

“No...Now hold my hand!” he says, quickly. She follows and he pushes a button on the telewatch. The ship starts to leave with out him, but Amy knows what Fry is doing. Leela holds Fry in a tight embrace as they beam out of the clearing and disappear. It is a déjà vu-like view as the aliens throw the deadly projectiles at the beaming Leela and Fry, only for the ones across from the circle to get hit by them.

=0 AScene: The Planet Express ship’s loading dock. A flash of light appears as the two teleport in. Leela is still hugging Fry as they enter. He loses conciseness and falls to the ground. Leela kneels over him.

“Fry! Fry!” she yells, “Wake up!” She picks up Fry’s left hand and looks at his telewatch. The screen shows a number 21 in red letters with the word: OVERLOAD flashing below it. Leela starts to tear up and sob on Fry when the screen fades out…

The End...just kidding.

…Fade in, as if eyes were opening. Fry awakens in a hospital bed. Looking around, he sees a heart scanner and the normal items seen in a hospital room. The tv is set to “All My Circuits.” Bender is in the corner chair, sleeping with the remote in his hand. Fry smiles slightly. He then slowly turns his head to his right to see Leela leaning against the bed, sleeping. He says softly, cracking a bit, “This seems a little familiar, doesn’t it?”

Leela opens her eye slowly, then she opens it quickly in both disbelief and relief to see Fry alive and awake. She hugs him and Fry seems surprised at first, but then hugs her softly back.

“I thought you wouldn’t make it…” she started, crying.

“I’m fine, Leela,” he starts, interrupted by a quick soft kiss on his cheek. “and I’m sorry, I don't de serve that kiss.”

“Why?”

“For breaking your heart.”

Leela sighs, “Fry, I know you love me. And the truth is…I kind of do too. But I don’t think I am ready yet. And I don’t think you are, either. You aren’t the most mature person I know. That’s for sure. And it may take time to be that guy. You’re sweet, but childish and forgetful sometimes. I just think you need to thin you’re life out. I mean, you just dropped me for that other girl and I cant believe that you would do that. If you really loved me, you wouldn’t have one and found another girl, and you would have waited. And…and…” Another tear starts to form in her eye. Fry holds her hand.

“Leela, I am truly sorry. I was a jerk. I guess that after Lars died, I thought you wouldn’t love me…because I was him…And I guess I was wrong. If you ever forgive me, and if I ever regain your trust…I may just have your heart. Now…I think we should take this slow…by just being friends again.”

“I guess so.” She says, “you have to be mature to say something that thoughtful, and I know you aren’t just making this up. I forgive you.” She thinks about what they both just said, and they stare at each other for a while. Leela gives Fry another kiss on the cheek. "You deserve that one."

“So…do es this mean that…we’re dating?” he says, smiling. Leela stares at him. “I’m just kidd—“

“I think that we may be able to give it a shot.”

Fry grins ear to ear. He even laughs a bit and Leela knows what he is thinking. She even laughs at the thought she was actually dating Fry. Fry, who she ignored for 8 years.

“Now don’t ever do that again…almost dying,” Leela says.

“I make no promises when I am employed with Planet Express…but now that we are together, I won’t let that happen.”

The End...for real.

Buddies