Futurama

Fan Fiction

History Repeating, Part 2
By Missy

Notes: Chapter Two!

As I said in my posting notes; it's helpful to pretend that the Simpsons and Futurama exist in the same universe, versus The Simpsons being fictional in the Futurama universe.


Lisa squirmed her way off the bench on which she had been placed.

"Hey, Leela, is it okay for her to get..."

The redheaded's sentence was quickly proven worthless. Lisa marched right up to the captain's chair, staring frankly at the woman behind the controls.

"Ma'am, I don't know how I ended up here..." Lisa's own natural sense of wonder suddenly overtook her fear. "Why aren't we floating in the air?"

The purple-haired captain didn't even bother to turn around and face the voice of her accuser. "She's apparently from the same stupid age you came from, Fry."

"Excuse me? There isn't a single thing stupid about my time! We've just unlocked the human genome..."

"So what?" A tarnished silver arm caught Lisa's eye, and she realized with a start that the talking being was a robot. "Every five seconds, a scientist cures some horrible, disgusting human problem. I read it on the back of a beer label."

The woman turned her head slightly to the right, "Bender, hush. You're being rude."

Lisa realized with another sickening thud of clarity that the woman had only one eye. She endeavored not to stare, but could not help but do so; she was reminded of the Cooter's country fair, and peeking through her eyes at her father and Bart biting the heads off of chickens.

The woman noticed her staring, and, though the slightly aggravated, determined expression upon her face did not change, her shoulders sank perceptibly.

"Don't tell me to shut up! You shut up!"

"I'm not going to get into an infantile shouting match with you," Leela replied. "Why don't you take your afternoon nap? You're getting cranky."

Bender muttered something rude under his breath, but retreated to the living quarters at the back of the ship.

Lisa's eyes had locked upon the passing planetary debris. Her jaw had dropped open and refused to close as galaxies whizzed by. "Is everyone from the twentieth century...never mind." Leela placed the ship into autopilot. "I know it's very scary to be transported into the future. In my time, it's actually very normal."

"Yeah," Fry said, "I was in this big clear tube for a thousand years!"

"No one wants to hear that old story again, Fry." Leela grumbled. "Lisa, we have to take you to Earth with us, so that we can see our boss, Professor Farnsworth. He said he'd give us further instructions when we returned with you."

"Why would an educator from the future want to see me?" Lisa gasped. "I've won an award? Someone in the universe has recognized my ability to conjugate all known action verbs in every existing language, including pig Latin?"

"I'm afraid I don't know." Leela returned to the controls and took it off of autopilot before concluding, "I noticed you're staring at me." It was a reproach, addressed with barely reigned humiliation.

Lisa flushed. "I'm sorry; I'm afraid I'm not used to seeing Cyclopes on an every day basis. My dad does bring home an assortment of strange people, though..."

"It's all right. I'm used to being watched because I'm not like the others."

A tiny kernel of sadness belied the woman's strident tone.

Lisa focused her eyes beyond Leela and said sympathetically, "Oh, I know how you feel. Back in my time, all of the kids my age made fun of me and pushed me into the mud."

"They did that to me back at the Orphanarium!"

Lisa's was ready to ask what an Orphanarium was when her reply was choked off by a gasp; the ship was re-entering Earth's atmosphere, zooming over what was apparently a very large city. Lisa gawked at buildings, unable to express anything beyond a garbled sigh. She noticed human beings, shooting through clear glass tubes overhead, and the buzz of cars flying through the blue sky a short distance away.

The ship halted, then slowly descended through what appeared to be some sort of skylight and into the center of a building. The landing barely caused the ship to jounce. Leela lowered her gangplank, turned off the engine, and spun her seat to face Lisa. "You know my name is Leela, and I know your name is Lisa. The practical thing to do would be to address each other that way."

"Huh; your mom named you Lisa Marie? Like Elvis' kid?" Fry asked. He carried a thick file between his spread palms.

Lisa tried to read what Fry was holding, but being roughly three feet taller than she was, she could not see over his shoulder.

"The Professor should be in his lab; I'll take you to him." She spared the man and the robot a scathing look. "Fry, mop up the docking bay," as the robot emerged from the cabin, she added, "Bender, ready the next delivery."

"Okay," the human said mildly.

"Waitaminute! I don't gotta do anything for you, blinky!"

"You do if you don't want me to burn your binary porn collection."

"Yes, Ma'am," the Robot muttered. Leela lead Lisa off of the ship, the little girl rubbernecking her entire way down the stairs.

"What is this place?" Lisa asked, as Leela's fingers slipped around hers.

"Well, it used to be New York, but since the war it's now New New York."

"There was a war?"

"You'll be long dead when the invasion happens."

Lisa wasn't sure if she should be comforted or disturbed by that assertion.

They passed through a variety of mechanical doors, until they entered a white-painted room that held a pacing, wrinkled, murmuring elderly man in a white lab coat. Lisa was reminded of her grandfather, before the figure began to speak.

"Damned gears," he muttered beneath his breath. At Leela's approach, he tilted his thick glasses backwards. "And who is this?"

"Lisa Marie Simpson, Professor, just as you requested."

"What?! Leela, you fool, I asked for Lisa Marie Presley! She was the ONLY person in his HISTORY of the known world who knew where the Elvis Galaxy was!"

"Professor, you gave me precise coordinates..."

"Foo on precise coordinates! If you don't return this girl to the correct time at which you took her, grave consequences could occur!"

"But the ship isn't going to be ready for transport for at least another two hours!"

The Professor eyed Lisa. "I see." He bent gingerly down, dragged something off of a lower shelf, and even more gingerly straightened up. "I'm afraid you'll have to be...eliminated."

Lisa screamed when she realized he was holding a gun.

Buddies