Futurama

Fan Fiction

Helveticana
By Alexei 'Pimpinslacker' Ehrensperger

Author's notes: this is the first and probably only fan fiction I'll ever write. I'm writing it like a novel and not like a script. Please don't judge the content of the fic by this first part: it is only an introduction. You are still very encouraged to send me feedback on it, however. Constructive criticism is welcome. You can send it here: slacker@hispeed.ch"> Oh and you might notice the fic has parodies of several movies…

Here, I'd like to say a huge, huge thanks to Luis G for his help and his friendship in both good and bad times, and for his support and patience with me. A great thanks to Asylum-Fry and FemJesse as well, and to my mom and grandparents, and uncle Alexei Sr. whom I once hope to see again. Last but most definitely not least I thank Nicole for the inspiration she gives me. Enjoy.

Alexei E.


Part I: The Amulet Of Dark Reign

CHAPTER ONE: BATTLE OF THE ANCIENT

Yelps of pain and the sound of laser gun shots filled the air. It was a battle of the most horrible that can be imagined. The surface of the planet was filled with dead bodies. Bodies of Nibblonian warriors. The army his forces were fighting against was too large to handle, and even though they weren't too bright, their number more than made up for it. Nibbler looked up at the red sky, and as he heard another series of screams he finally realized the battle was lost. He was going to die, die under these black clouds, die in combat. He looked down again, working up courage. What he saw wasn't in any way encouraging however, the endless army of goblins with laser swords was advancing toward his position fast, and there, leading them, was a creature high as a double deck bus, high as the piles of Nibbler's dead comrades. And nearly twice as wide. It was Terromotar, the beast that had destroyed many worlds and races, together with a vast army of creatures whose real name and history no one was sure about, and now it was defeating the Nibblonians.

Nibbler wasn't fooled: he knew perfectly the monster had once been a man from Earth. A middle-aged man of good heart and spirit. He hadn't always been covered with black skin, nor has he had flashing red eyes or yellowish claws on his hands.

As the monster had cleared the final wave of small, yelping creatures, its eyes settled on Nibbler and it began running at him. Nibbler prepared for death, yet he was determined to die with his teeth sunk in Terromotar's flesh. He pounced just before it had reached him, taking it by surprise. Clinging on it like on an angry bull, he unholstered his laser pistol and emptied the entire energy cell into its head. But as before, they had no effect on it whatsoever. The beams went right through it, coming out the other side. Nibbler had known this of course because he's seen his comrades empty entire laser machine gun cells on it, yet it lived on and wasn't even hurt. The wounds healed within half of a second. The only effect they had caused was the monster violently swinging its arms and wildly running around, angry at the tiny thing on his head.

Nibbler prepared for the worst, he saw the army of goblins blur past him as he was swung around in circles. Terromotar was now in a state of aggression and batting its own warriors, and the goblin-like things now rushed away, each trying to run for its life. Nibbler saw one of them get hurled into a stack of boxes that were brought here for fighting the army. The terrified bloke crashed into them, its face expressing immense pre-death pain.

That wasn't what Nibbler has been watching, however: he was the only one on the battlefield to notice one of the boxes fall into a fire. In slow motion, he watched the box explode, causing a chain reaction which involved the whole rest of the stack and causing goblins around it to fly in different directions like water splashing when a big boulder is tossed into an ocean. Blood immediately covered everything around them. Several body parts hit Nibbler in the face as they sped by, and he felt that the creature he was riding was also being tossed up into the air.

No longer hanging on, Nibbler fell. He hit the ground with great force and felt a sharp pain in his back. Paralyzed by the pain, he could barely move, but what he saw then made him forget about it. The beast had hit a solid-looking rock and also seemed a bit startled by what happened. Nibbler knew it wasn't hurt in the slightest, but something else caught all three of his eyes, though he had to close the upper one because it was bleeding badly. The small, coin-sized cross made of space diamond was no longer hanging around its neck. It has been blown off and was lying about 30 feet away from its owner. Realizing this was his last chance, Nibbler strained himself to run as fast as he could towards Terromotar. It has noticed the loss and was now wildly looking around for its treasure. It spotted it lying on the ground and ran wildly to pick it up.

Nibbler's pain was now unimaginable, yet he sprinted at full speed. Just when the big clawed hand picked the cross, Nibbler suddenly stood there and stuck his pistol up the creature's huge nose. Knowing he had mere seconds before Terromotar would put the cross back on, he squeezed the trigger. Then squeezed it again. And again. This time, though, the wounds caused by the laser didn't fade; blood and brains mixed with bits of bone were splashing out the back of the head, then they started pouring out of the creature's mouth and nose. Its eyes opened wide and looked straight ahead.

Nibbler ceased firing. Holding its mouth, Terromotar stumbled backwards, let out a low moan and fell on its back. Its horrible clawed fingers released the space diamond crystal. Nibbler approached it; he wanted to make sure the thing wouldn't get up anymore, so he emptied another whole cell into its body. Yes, it was definitely the end now. The wounds were bleeding. Nibbler dropped the pistol.

An eerie silence came over the battlefield. Nibbler looked around. The sky was still red. Everything seemed red, but perhaps that was because of the blood in his eyes and on his face. A glance over the piled Nibblonian corpses, decorated by a few goblin ones, a long stare at the horizon of the deserted, hot, dry wasteland which was now soaked in blood. A small tear formed in Nibbler's eyes. He was gradually beginning to feel the pain in the back again. It was all coming back. And the physical pain was nothing compared with the pain the sight of the dead Nibblonian bodies caused in his heart. He looked over the field once more. The goblins had seen their leader, who according to what they believed was immortal, die and were long gone. Suddenly, a voice came out of nowhere.

"Lord Nibbler?"

Nibbler snapped out of his dream. His memory. He was sitting at his usual conference table, the usual crew of Nibblonian leaders gathered around it. The memory was nearly six thousand years old but it still kept haunting him sometimes. The battle has been his most dreadful to date. What had made him think of it this time?

"Now, we still have a few minor issues to bring up. There's a small force of the brain spawn in the Illunasian nebula a few hundred light years west of here. We don't have to be worried about this yet, but we shall keep an eye on it," the same voice said again. It belonged to Hmtnnt, one of the generals.

"I'm most sorry. My mind was drifting off there for a second," Nibbler apologized. "Now, does anyone else have any issues to report? Matters to discuss?"

"Just one more," said Ngndda. "Some of us are still concerned about the Swamp of a Thousand Sanctums. It has been unprotected and unwatched ever since you left Vergon 6. It's unsafe, someone could find the danger it holds. The mental force field you were casting around the lake is gone and no longer keeps people away from the area. They no longer have the fear you projected into their heads, the fear of going near the lake."

Nibbler thought for a moment. "What you say is true. But I still think me watching over the place was a precaution too many. Really, nobody will ever dive in there. Now I beg you to excuse me, I'm afraid I'm not feeling good."

As Nibbler left the room, there were murmurs of agreement. Only Ngndda was sitting there quietly, and she watched Nibbler until the door shut behind him.

CHAPTER TWO: UNDER THE INFLUENCE

Meanwhile, on Amazonia…

"Yours are the third attractivest boobies I've ever seen in my life," said Zapp, as he sat on a log next to a fat ugly Amazonian. It was nighttime and a bit chilly. The stars were shining on the night's sky, there was almost no traffic. Zapp was bursting with joy that he finally got a woman to talk to him. The Nimbus was seen behind a length of forest, standing at a rather weird angle. Voices of the crew were heard in the distance. On the other side of the two, the swamp looked and smelled as horrible as Mom's fat suit. Zapp put on his biggest smile for his date but she didn't return it. She looked as if she thought it had been her largest mistake ever to let Zapp take her out. The swamp which they were sitting before was stinking horribly, but not as much as Zapp's breath which she got a cloud of.

"Me had you snu snu. You no good do snu snu. Man with red hair good snu snu. Me no want you date no more. And you bring me to ugly place no of us ever be before. Legend says swamp is evil much. No one go here before you take me," she said.

"Ah I smell the romantic vapors in the air as well (the air smelled like garbage and rotten eggs) and I like how you smell too," Zapp answered, not getting it.

"I no like you bring me here. It nasty."

"But… but I can take you to the Nimbus! As soon as the men finish repairing the damage I… ah I mean some idiot caused, we can soar out to space so you can watch the stars while I sit behind you and watch your sexy round buttocks. And after that we- woaaah!!"

Zapp suddenly found himself being hurled headfirst into the disgusting swamp. His face parted the muck, and he sank into it several feet. After finally coming back to the surface and wishing to himself to have been thrown into a pool of feces instead, he shouted to the Amazonian.

"Baby, wait, I have love enough for both you and your buttocks!"

He suddenly noticed something shiny (though this was barely noticeable with only starlight to light things up) was stuck, together with a big clump of greenish ooze, to one of his shoulders. Thinking it might be a coin, Zapp excitedly unstuck it from himself and looked closer.

"Dammit, it's just a cheap priceless piece of jewelry. Aw well, maybe I can give it to Leela. That ought to impress her and then mmm!" he said out loud. It was a small cross that looked as if it was made of space diamond. A metal chain was attached to it. Someone must have carried the little thing around the neck.

Zapp was about to try it on when Kif arrived telling him the Nimbus was ready to go. Hastily shoving the cross into the pocket of his velour uniform, Zapp followed him back to the ship. It was now floating softly over Amazonia's surface, causing nearby trees and bushes to move slightly. They had to use a ladder to get into the Nimbus, and Kif did his best not to look up while they were at it.

Inside, Zapp had a quick, light supper (12 pancakes, a pizza and a bottle of 2875 Cabernet Sauvignon) while Kif went to his small room to rest after a tiring day. He was lying on his bed till late, looking at his photos of Amy and secretly wishing he could be on Earth with her. In the dim light of the lamp, Amy's eyes looked magical. Kif knew that the Nimbus was scheduled to visit only three more planets and then head back to Earth – perhaps he would be able to see Amy then. One of the planets might even get skipped because of their delay on Amazonia. That would be excellent. Would be… Kif caught himself thinking "what would be" and forced all thought out of his head. Within minutes, he was asleep, and even Zapp's rummaging upstairs didn't wake him.

"Perfect body, perfect mind, sweet charm." The Nimbus was softly traveling through space. The entire crew was fast asleep, except the few people that ran the bridge and Zapp, who was now standing naked in his room, in front of a tall mirror, admiring his own reflection. He seemed to really be enjoying himself. All his clothes lay slumped over the edge of his bed. Suddenly, the little cross he found earlier fell out of the pocket of his uniform. Noticing this, Zapp came to pick it up. He held the little thing by its chain in front of him. Being made out of space diamond, the tiny thing shone in the dim light. Almost too brightly, considering the room was lit only by candles. Zapp was beginning to feel something he'd never felt before, a strong pull. But towards what?

"It's… weird…," he found himself muttering quietly. The cross dangling from the chain he was holding started to glow a poisonous green. Before even knowing it, Zapp parted the small chain and slipped the cross over his neck.

Instantly, he felt like a huge dose of electricity was flowing through his whole body. He wanted to cry out, only to find his voice had been somehow cut off. In agony, he collapsed to the floor. But then, as quickly as it started, the pain stopped. His hair wildly tangled by the shock, Zapp stood up. He felt good. As he was getting dressed, he looked out the window. All those planets… a large number of them were populated by different races. Why, though? The creatures that lived there in peace and quiet all their life, why did they deserve to be in this world? They had not been through pain like him, they hadn't been unpopular and outcasts their whole lives. They didn't deserve what they had. Yes, they will pay. Zapp looked up at his portrait. The whole universe will pay…


The door to the Nimbus's weaponry opened and a shadowy figure stood in the doorway. The lights went on, casting light upon dozens of laser rifles, laser pistols, all types of grenades with all types of timers (five second, three second and zero second), some laser swords, battle suits and helmets. The man took his time to pick out the largest size there was, not bothering to put on any armor. The suit fit him. With a laser rifle hoisted over his back and two pistols (latest concept, thrusting a small, pointy metal projectile out the muzzle at a very high speed rather than projecting a laser beam), he also grabbed a couple grenades and stuck them on his belt. Then, the door of the armory closed again. In the corridor, the figure walked slowly towards the elevator to the bridge. A recruit suddenly walked out of a bathroom and before he could say anything, a shot was fired and he hit the floor, blood spreading quickly on the floor under his dead body. The shadow of the killer swept over it as he walked by silently, not even looking at his victim. The doors of the elevator closed behind him, and the hall was once more filled with eerie silence, the only movement being the blood puddle spreading on the floor.

On the bridge, three men were running the ship; three others played poker at a small, round table. It was all quiet and everyone was real bored, with nothing but the never-ending sight of stars to entertain them. And the game of poker. A soft beep was heard from the elevator, and before the doors even opened, a series of laser shots punched right through it from the inside. Three of the DOOP officers dropped silently to the floor, the ones who were slacking off. The others wheeled around instantly to find Zapp standing there, holding two pistols in his hands, the laser rifle on his back still smoking.

One of the men went for his gun and fired at Zapp. The flash from the laser pistol made everyone in the room shield their eyes. When it was over, the DOOP men saw their brave comrade slumped over the control board behind him, a smoking hole in his chest, blood spraying out of it with every beat of the still working heart. Pretty soon though, it became a slower, constant stream. Slowly, the body slid down, the panels behind it a sparkling red. The remaining two stood there, looking in horror at their captain. His face has become slightly darker, they noticed, and his eyes were bulging as if there was a high pressure inside them. They had somehow obtained a slight but piercing yellow glow. Or was it green?

"Any questions?" the remaining officers heard Zapp ask.

"Ca-" BANG.

There was now only one pilot left, standing frozen, looking in horror at his comrade who had just tried to lift himself and was beginning to say something; he was on the floor, half his head missing The gun in Captain Brannigan's right hand was smoking. He rapidly lowered the pistol and holstered it. Still holding the second in his left hand, he pressed some keys on a nearby console and looked at the screen. The last DOOP man tripped over a body and stood up to see the gun being pointed at him. He cowered, preparing to die. Shots fired, repeatedly. Then, silence. Slowly, the officer opened his eyes… he was alive and unspoiled. Definitely worse off was the entire central communications console which he was standing in front of. It was wrecked; all possibility of contact with Earth or anyone else was cut off. But Officer Winslow was glad to be alive. But just as he thought he had seen the worst, he saw something outside that made him get chilled down to the bone with horror and nausea. At first, it seemed the Nimbus has floated into a nebula with some skin-colored gas. Then he realized they were floating bodies, bodies of DOOP soldiers. They were all dead. Laser marks and bullet holes decorated the bodies, drawing lines of deep red around themselves. There were some bodies that were missing parts, and the missing limbs floated around freely. An arm hit the glass of the Nimbus's windshield and bounced off, leaving a slight red stain on it. A sharp, short metal sound made Winslow jump and snap out of it. He turned around and saw a pistol clip bounce on the hard floor a few times and finally lay still. Zapp has finished inserting a fresh magazine.

"We're better off without that load of trash, don't you think? Now you clean up here, these bodies don't add much to the decoration. I have some unfinished business downstairs, but I'll be back soon enough so don't try anything stupid and you might just stay alive… for now," he said.

Winslow hesitated. The man in front of him was a psycho, there was no doubt in it. It was him who had slaughtered all those men, slaughter them like pigs and then send their bodies out to float on space. Should he follow his orders? But before Winslow had time to think about it any further, his Captain's hand petted the handle of one of the holstered guns.

"Y- ye- yes, s- sir."

"Good. Oh and just a small note: if I catch you trying to make contact with the command, you will die. If I see you with a weapon, you will die. Don't try overpowering me, as your brave friends out there have tried. If you ask questions, you will die also. And if you so much as think of doing whatever else I might not like, well, it's kinder not to say what will happen, so listen carefully. I will tear you apart with my own hands, limb from limb." Zapp paused for a moment, an evil grin spreading over his face again. "This is not a drill."

He left, and the elevator doors closed behind him once more. Winslow started to mop up the mess. He was revolted and disgusted by it but he had no choice other than t obey Zapp. Something was definitely weird about the way he looked, his hair was messed and hanging down from all sides of his head, it looked like it got longer. His face was darker and somehow colder than before. His body has definitely increased in size, and this time it wasn't simply gain of fat. If he hadn't known better, he would've thought his captain was turning into some kind of beast. And something else was new about Zapp's appearance… the thing he was wearing around his neck... what was it? Winslow strained to remember. But he suddenly realized he wasn't cleaning and got back to work. The fear of the guns was currently stronger than curiosity. Suddenly, his eyes locked on the laser pistol on the floor, still lying next to its owner. He darted towards it, grabbed it with wild excitement, only to find out its cell was empty. He desperately searched everywhere for a spare cell, but with no luck. How could the guy have missed? They knew each other well, and he had been a good shot, even got in the top ten at the shooting range. And from this short distance… perhaps he couldn't fire the pistol before getting blasted himself. But no, there were definitely shots from him, there had been light before he saw the Captain reach for the rifle. And the cell of the pistol couldn't have been empty, either. All this was confusing Winslow a lot so he threw the piece away and continued with his cleaning. Several times, he closed his eyes hoping to be sitting in his bed when he opened them again. But it wasn't a dream, it was really happening to him, he finally understood that. What has gotten into Zapp Branningan? Why was he doing all this, killing his entire crew? And most of all, what next?


"Oh Kiffy! That's so sweet of you!," Amy exclaimed as he gave her yet another watch. This one was pure gold, with a glow-in-the-dark display and needing no winding at all. He has been saving almost all his salary all year, but it was definitely worth it. Amy giggled approvingly.

"I'm glad you like it. It shows the time where ever we both are, and there's also Tetris on it. And this time, it's robust," Kif said, smiling.

Amy smiled, too. "I'm going to put it on right now (she did). Oh and you remembered my size! My little tadpole! I love you!"

They were about to go out. Holding hands, they came up to the door of Amy's apartment.

"Open the door for me, Kif."

Kif placed his hand on the door handle and tried to push it down. It didn't budge. He applied more and more force, but it stayed put. Behind him, Amy kept urging him to open the door for her. He tried to tell her he couldn't, but no words came out. He tried harder and harder.

"Open the door, Kif! Come on! Open it! NOW!!!"

Kif turned around and saw that Amy was sprouting black slimy tentacles from under her dress instead of legs, her face has dissolved into a mass of worms, her eyes were glowing a bright yellow. She looked angrily at him.

"KIF! Open the goddamn door!!!"

Her voice sounded deep and it frightened Kif. He wanted to say he was sorry, wanted to tell her to turn back to normal again. She was advancing on him now, opening her mouth and revealing razor-sharp teeth and snakes. Everything was turning dark and dissolving in a black cloud, he realized he couldn't let go of the door, his hand was stuck to it. Amy's skin was boiling and bursting. Heavy black chains were suddenly hanging down from the ceiling everywhere.

"OPEN THE DOOR!"

With a jolt, Kif awoke from his nightmare. Amy still stared at him from the photos in his small cabin, but she was smiling and looked prettier than ever. Kif was relieved to realize it was all just a dream. He took a sip of water from his bedside table while looking over the photos. He thought of meeting Amy again, when they come back to Earth, then they could-

"I SAID, OPEN THE DOOR, KIF! I KNOW YOU'RE THERE!"

Kif spat out his water, luckily not over the pictures. Someone really was on the other side of the door, knocking on it. More like banging actually. Lazily, Kif got up and opened the door. Zapp couldn't hold his arm back in time and the next "knock" landed on Kif's head, sending him flying back into the room and against the wall. A few photos fell from the wall. He rubbed his head, a sleepy-angry look on his face. Zapp realized the door has been opened.

"Finally. Get up, I need you to do some things for me. And what the hell are you staring at now, Kif? I said get up!"

But Kif was looking in awe and surprise at his Captain. It was obvious why of course, not only did he look so different and was armed, but was also aggressive and wild. The little cross hanging on his neck glowed, and for a second Kif could've sworn Zapp's eyes had flashed red for an instance. But then his face turned away from Kif so he snapped out of it. Zapp was walking towards the Nimbus's digitalized library (one standard-size computer in a small room). There he locked himself, after issuing a rough, "Go upstairs and ask that Winslow idiot what to do".

Kif headed upstairs.

CHAPTER THREE: HISPAŇOLA

Two weeks had passed since the massacre on the Nimbus, and still were the three living members of the crew the only ones to know it had happened. Kif was naturally shocked at first to take in what had happened, but now he was more or less back to his normal self. He and Winslow spent a lot of time talking when Zapp locked himself in the library, thought they were quiet like fish when Zapp sat behind them on the bridge to supervise. Silent as a grave… the irony was penetrating their minds every minute of every hour, for if they did but one thing their Captain didn't like, they'd not only be made silent as a grave but also acquire all other properties of one. Once, they had thought of stealing Zapp's mobile phone, the only way of communication left on the entire ship, and inform someone, but it was too risky. Zapp always kept the phone with him, and when he slept, he had it under his pillow and locked his room most of the time. They knew he'd kill both of them if they even got close to him while he was asleep. And if they were corpses, it would be pretty hard to contact anyone at all.

"I have a family back on Earth. My wife and kids live on the Jersey side of town, you know? We have a nice apartment, with sunset view… and- are you ok? Lieutenant Kroker?" Winslow said.

Kif was cleaning up a mess he had caused previously by spilling Zapp's drink (which Zapp always made Kif take a sip of first, so that he couldn't have poisoned it). Zapp has punished him most cruelly by burning all of Kif's photos of Amy that he had in his small room. Thinking about this made the poor guy sad so he forced himself to listen to Winslow once again.

"…and now I don't know whether I'll ever see them again, but I really think it's okay if I don't, but at least they're safe."

"Set course for Earth, men, New New York. That's an order," came a deep voice from behind them. Zapp has entered the room, looking as crazy as ever yet somehow happy. Earth, what did that mean? Freedom or doom? Was Zapp going to let them go?

"On the double. And where's my dinner? I don't care you've been busy Kif, it better be ready in ten minutes or less. And you, the other guy, laundry room, and make it fast. Good evening."

When Brannigan has finished talking, he stood there and watched his men set the new course, slowly and rather unwillingly. They were thinking what this meant, and both of them were very afraid and very hopeful at the same time. A feeling neither of them shall ever forget. Finally, the Nimbus, obedient to the control board, began to turn softly. The crew barely felt it, they only knew it because the stars moved in a circular manner outside, it seemed as though they were just behind the glass, that one could reach out and grab them, and they were swimming in a black, mysterious substance. Finally, returning from their thoughts, Kif and Winslow returned to repairing the bridge and cleaning up, Kif's mind still partially on Amy, and what might happen to him and possibly her when the Nimbus reached the planet she was on. The soldier who was tried to stop Zapp was still lying there, slumped over, the displays behind his dead, cold corpse now a deep red. A shooting star passed the ship from behind, and the soldiers watched it disappear into the darkness that was everywhere before them.


A book lay on the table, "Zapp Brannigan's Big Book Of War". The Captain himself was deeply emerged in thought, staring at the screen of the small library computer. The colorful light reflected on his face and made it look even more eerie. When he moved his arm and the book fell, he didn't bother to pick it up. Upon the monitor was a diagram of a weird and ugly-looking creature, some numbers and graphs, and a very long text.

"The Venusian-Sirian Goblin," it read, "is a unique creature known especially for its bodily strength and robustness and damage-deflecting shell. Though most attempts to capture a specimen failed due to their cleverness in battle, there exists a way to breed a slightly less fascinating but also very bold and unintelligent type. The perfect conditions and requirements for such breeding are as follows." This line was followed by a list of resources, various numbers and times.

"Dark soil…"Zapp muttered to himself.

"Temperatures around zero degrees Earth Celsius…"

"Meat…"

The Captain has stopped reading. He knew he had made the right choice. Earth, especially New New York, was just made to be the breeding grounds for his private army. For a moment, he thought about Leela. The only woman he had ever slept with who wasn't heavier than himself… But she didn't care, she beat him and rejected him. Brannigan wondered why he hasn't seen this before. She didn't matter, she was only a woman, an inferior female who didn't find him good enough for her. How dare she, when he was the most important and powerful Captain and even offered her champagne and once flowers. No matter, in only a few days the world will change forever, and when that's done with, other worlds.

After shutting down the computer, Zapp left the room. The Big Book Of War was still lying on the floor, a large coffee stain on it, open on page 5587. A smiling picture of Captain Brannigan looked up from it, a speech bubble next to it teaching the reader that "Guns don't kill people, death kills people." It was getting late, and Kif and Winslow didn't even hear Zapp climbing up to the observation deck, they were fast asleep.

"Time to write history. New New York shall fall, and from its ashes will rise… me. It's mine. I will prevail. They will pay."


On a cold winter's night New New York seemed magical. The glowing lights, the colorful banners and snowflakes softly falling, it all added to a general feeling of a mild delirium felt by every one of the city's citizens when they went out for a walk, and not even the chilling cold that made you shiver to the bone could ruin the moment could ruin the beautiful sight of the city from above, from its streets or even from the sewers. It was midnight, and the Planet Express crew were enjoying a day off for a change, slacking in the rec room of the PE building, watching TV. Fry was once again being excited about everything in the future. This time, even about things that he had in the 20th century.

"Look, a cool moving picture box! Oh wait, that's the TV. A hovercar! Wow, how do they float like that? It's like magic"

-"Ooh! A shooting star!" he exclaimed, as one was seen flying across the night's sky. "You know, my mom always used to tell me shooting stars were supposed to bring good luck."

"Yeah, we still have that saying," added Leela. "They say that every time you see a star shoot across the sky, a civilization will be saved from a horrible attack by a group of bold, heroic people."

"And so we shall," said the Professor as he came into the room. "Of course, by 'we' I mean 'you', and we have a mission to deliver a crate filled entirely with C4 to the Hispañola, a neutral tourist ship currently in orbit around Urectum. And then let it blow."

"Professor! We can't just kill innocent people," exclaimed Leela, surprised at the Prof's latest idea of getting money regardless of the actual task.

"This is no ordinary neutral tourist ship! It has been taken over by pirates from Swaggus 4, and they must be killed…" Farnsworth started again.

"Oh," Fry interrupted. "But I still think Leela's right, we shouldn't kill. And it's not in the job description either. Sorry, nephew."

"…and they will pay us five times the usual delivery price."

At this point, everyone's face suddenly reflected a pleasantly surprised smile, especially Bender's.

"Wow, we all get twenty-five dollars each! That's a whole lot of loot. I could buy enough beer to last me three point eight six minutes."

Fry's smile suddenly faded a little, he thought once again that he would be committing murder. And for money, too, like a hired gun. Professor Farnsworth stirred.

"They also offered us free year passes to the Big 'n' Round Melon Hut across the street," he said finally. After which Fry suddenly became very keen to go on the mission. Leela was looking slightly disapproving and disgusted, and Bender lit a cigar and opened a beer. Farnsworth was leaving the room. "Off you go!"

 

To be continued…


Sorry to break it off like this, I hate it myself when they write "to be continued" in stories or movies, like The Matrix Reloaded…

Nonetheless, this will definitely be continued. I've already planned out some exciting events, just don't know how to write them down yet, plus I need a break. So I decided I could release this after 10 pages, should be enough to rate it maybe and send me some comments, eh? slacker@hispeed.ch – all constructive criticism welcome. Please send feedback. Oh and happy Xmas!

Buddies