Hell Is Other Humans
(This story starts out as Fry and Bender are on the couch watching All My Circuits.)
Fry: Man this show gets lamer and lamer every day, just like The Days of Our Lives.
Bender: What was that.
Fry: A soap opera in the twentieth century.
Bender: So a lot of things in the twentieth century were lame.
Fry: So this century is too.
Bender: Well at least we were smart enough not to use toxic fuels in cars that killed many people.
Fry: I used toxic fuels and look how I turned out,(Fry sniffs his arm pit then drools).
Bender: Judging by your drooling I'd say my point remains valid.
Fry: Ok then if your so smart teach me everything I should know about the 21st century that I already don't know or haven't done.
Bender: Well first you got to score with a chick.
Fry: Been there done that, wait now that I think about it I've done everything possible to sin, including that really sinful thing, you know the one.
Bender: Well have you ever been in a cult?
Fry: No, why?
Bender: Then today's your lucky day my friend, I used to go to this one place called the T.T.O(The Truth Organization). It was a place people went when no other religion worked for them. Some called it the alternate religion.
Fry: That sounds great, but even I know there's a catch to every religion.
Bender: Well there was one thing, oh yes if you try to leave they say their god will kill you.
Fry: Why aren't you dead.
Bender: I told my lawyer and insurance companies I have been diagnosed with Robot cancer and I didn't have long to live, so everyone thinks I'm dead.
Fry: Robot Cancer? I never knew there was such a thing.
Bender: There isn't, I thought I'd spice it up a notch. Well we better get out of here the next ceremony starts in thirty min.
(Fry and Bender walk out of P.E.)
Prof: Fry, Bender where are you.
Leela: Prof. They left a note: "Going to find religion at The Truth Organisaton". Yep that's Fry's writing, but what is the Truth Organization.
Prof.: Ah, yes now I remember that place was established years ago, but was shut down due to sudden deaths from members there. But some still go to a secret underground chamber where they practice that cult illegally.
Leela: Something's not truthful about The Truth Organization.
(The next scene shows Fry and Bender at a phone booth entitled T.T.O)
Bender: Wow this place is bigger they must have done renovations.
Fry: What, this is a phone booth.
Bender: Just get in.
(They both go in)
Fry: This doesn't seem right. Are you sure this is the place.
Bender: Yeah, just wait you have to call in first. Yeah hello, this is Bender again yeah I recovered from that cancer and I've decided to come back, oh yeah and I have a friend too.
(he hangs the phone up)
Bender: I'm back in and your accepted.
(The booth goes under ground like an elevator at fast speeds.)
Fry: Whoa, how far are we under ground?
Bender: Appx. fifty, sixty, seventy, eighty, ninety five....hundred feet.
(They clash to the bottom of the elevator then the door opens and they both walk out. They walk toward a gigantic building inscripted T.T.O.)
Bender: Good old religion.
Fry: Whoa this place is gigantic, you know Bender, I'm actually surprised you found a religion that works for you.
Bender: Me too.
(Cult bots walk to them)
Cult bot: Welcome to The Truth Organization.
Bender: Hey it's good to be back, so what's the agenda this week.
Cult bot: Not much stealing, grave robbing, sacrificing, hookers.
Fry: What, what is this some sick kind of joke? I thought this was The Truth organization.
Cult bot: Do you want to know the truth, ok then there are only lies and sin in the world. I mean did you really think there was a God.
Fry: Actually I (interrupted by a cult bot).
Cult bot: Enough, come with us to be conformed.
Fry: Conformed? Wait just a minute.
Cult bot: Take him to the boss.
(They drag Fry into the building through a long hallway past doors with the word reformation chambers.)
Fry: What's in those doors.
Cult bot: New members are being conformed.
Fry: What do you do to them.
(The cult bots start to laugh) Cult bot: You'll see soon enough.
Fry: That's not soon enough.
(They go up to a huge door then it slowly opens. They take Fry inside and there is a chair turned backwards and it slowly turns and reveals the Robot Devil).
Robot Devil: So Fry you and Bender come back for more.
Fry: NO, not you again.
Robot Devil: Now you and Bender are gonna burn in Robot Hell for eternity.
Fry: NO, I'm a good guy.
Robot Devil: Sorry Fry, but you and Bender agreed to this when you decided to join our religion. Man that never gets old.
Fry: Aw Damn, I mean darn.
Robot Devil: It's alright you can say that here.
Fry: NO not this time, you'll have to chase me down first (Fry runs through the opened door back through the hallway to the exit, but it was locked). No(Fry turns around and sees the cult bots with guns.
Cult bots: Come to us or die.
(Bender busts through the door with a cigar and a tommy gun)
Bender: Say hello to my little friend.(Bender blows down all the cult bots).
Fry: Bender why'd you do that I thought you liked this place.
Bender: I found out what they were doing here and I decided to rescue you, and also I've always wanted to impersonate Tony Montana.
Fry: Let's get out of here.(They rush to the elevator but it wont work. And behind them the Robot Devil appears and knocks them out with his pitchfork).
(Fry and Bender wake up with flames surrounding them).
Fry: What, noo this can't be happening (Homer Simpson walks by) Homer I thought you were just a t.v. show.
Homer: Oh it's true I'm a show I'm just a phony.(He starts to cry)
Robot Devil: I didn't want to sing so I thought I'd let the Eagles do it for me.
Bender: Ahh crap singin.
Robot Devil: Hit it boys.(The band Eagles' heads are in head jars ) Welcome to the Hotel Califronia you can check out any time you like, but you can't never leave. (The guitar solo in the song plays for those of you who know the band and the songs.)
(It shows Fry and Bender running crazy and desperate. The Robot Devil starts to laugh)
Robot Devil: Ha Ha Ha Ha now you will endure tortures forever!!!
:To Be Continued